Sitting in class. Daydreaming about what I'm going to do once I get out of this hell-hole. [0945] Damn it's still too early. Where is the teacher? It's a substitute, but still. Doesn't mean he needs to be late. Ugh what a drag. "Ay Tamojikato! You're daydreamin again dude. Are you alright?" That voice. Valiant Tinnesz. A tall, dark grey-haired moron with light green eyes. My best friend. Captain of the football team. A popular kid. How he and I became best friends still remains a mystery to me. "Oh hey Val. I'm just trying to escape this dreadful place. Honestly, it's energy draining." [yawns and looks out the window] "Just look at those pink blossoms. It's almost spring holiday." [I smirk] "Hell, yea dude! Babes and beaches! Oh, I almost forgot. I have to go and see the coach. He wanted to see me for some reason. Check ya later dude and don't flutter off again" [runs off within a few seconds] "That moron is something else." I muttered under my breath. Not even a full minute had passed. "Tamojikato, got a second?" The voice of an angel. I know that voice all too well. Mira Makani. A girl with a model-like body. Black hair and perfect blue eyes. She can make any guy do whatever she desires. I'm fortunate enough to be one of her friends. "Hey, yeah I do. What's up?" [she giggles] "As cold as ever, hmm? Anyway. I wanted to know if you wanted to stop by my house after school. I have some important things to discuss." Uh, I wonder what she wants to talk about. "Sure thing. We can walk together after school." Man, I wonder what she wants to talk about. Honestly, what a drag.
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"Okay students, settle down. Take your seats and keep your mouths shut or else..." The words dissolve away. Is that a female? [looks in the new substitute's teacher's way] IT IS! "My name is Lumi Bren. I'll be your home room teacher for the rest of the semester. Listen up kiddos. I may be a female but I won't take any of your absurdity. Understood? Excellent. When I call your name, just say present." Okay, you can clearly see she was raised by a military father or mother or even both. Don't want to get on her bad side. Not that I even have the strength for that. "Tamojikato Black." She said it with such disgust. "Present." The hell could be her issue? "Ah you're the number one student, isn't that right?" The boardroom must've showed her the top students. "I deem so yes." She is dredging more into this. I don't like it. Just agitates me. "Please come see me after school. I have a specific topic I want to talk about." Why the hell does everyone want to talk to me all of a sudden?! Well, I have to tell her I can't do it, since I already have plans with Mira. "Sorry ma'am but I can't make it after school. I have already acquired critical matters to attend to. If it's not life threatening, then we can handle it tomorrow and if you are impatient. I'll give you my number."
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She probably thinks I'm being disrespectful. Well, I am just being straight forward and it needs to be normalised so that students speak honestly. There is a difference between being honest, straight forward and being disrespectful and ignorant. 'Adults' as we know them, need to learn and understand that. "Straight forward and you said it without any empathy. I like it. Give me your number. The matter is rather crucial but not life threatening as you said." Well shit. That took an unexpected turn. I think I must just get to admire her. Not in the way you are thinking, freak. I simply don't like anyone romantically. It's a waste of energy and valuable time. Feeling all these emotions for someone, getting attached is a bad thing. It makes you vulnerable and soft. Meaning you're an easy mark and you can get manipulated. After school, I head to Mira's house. I really wonder what she wants to talk about. I arrived at her house and rang the doorbell. I hear her voice from inside screaming "I'll be right there!" She opens up the door. She's wearing her school shirt but the top button is unbuttoned. I only realise now how short her skirt really is. Usually she wears high rise socks that hide her legs, but it seems like she has already taken them off. Hey I know I'm Aromantic and Asexual but I can still appreciate a good looking girl.
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"Tamojikato." She jumps into my arms and gives me a tight hug. "Erm- hey Mira." Honestly, physical touch makes me uncomfortable. I don't do hugs. If you're not my mum, or lying on your death bed, don't expect me to hug you. Just don't. "I'm pleased you're here." She turned around so quickly that her skirt was slightly lifted, it revealed even more than what was already being revealed. "Mm." I cleared my throat. "What did you want to talk about Mira, I don't have all day." I'm not lying either. I have a shit ton of studying to do. "Aw, don't be mean now. Meanie. Anyway. I want to discuss a few things with you." She lets go of me and guides me to the living room. she sits down and pats the couch next to her This is going to take a while, but I do as I am told. "Firstly, I didn't like the way you looked at our new teacher."- Why does she even care how I look at people? Since when is she observant like this? -"Secondly, I think you are the dumbest smart person I know. How dense are you to not notice that I've fallen in love with you."- She what?! "I think I have something in my ears. Could you possibly repeat that." There is no way she just said that. [looks me straight in my eyes] "I have fallen in love with you Tamo. I've been in love with you for a while now." [her cheeks slowly turn red] She puts her hand on my leg and looks me in her eyes. I look down at her lips and I can tell that she's moving in to kiss me. I've never jumped up that quickly in my entire life. "Um, I don't know what to say, but I think it's time I go." I grabbed my bag and practically ran out the door. How dense am I? How dense is she to not notice that I'm Aromantic?! Bloody idiot.
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I've been running for the past 5 minutes. [breaths heavy] Man, I am unfit [exhales and inhales] Is she mad? Confessing like that? Why does she even like me? I just get sick by thinking of it. [takes out mobile from pocket] I need to call Val and meet up with him. This news left me in disgust and I want to make it someone else's problem. [dials up Val's number] Pick up Val. Jeez, you have a phone for a damn reason! "Ay what's up man? All good?" [looks up to the sky] "No, not all is good. I have news. Meet me at the coffee shop near our flats and don't make excuses. This is rather important. Be there at 1700." [dead silence for a bit] "Uh, sure man. I'll meet you down there." [ends call] He's going to be 5 minutes late. As perusal. I need to get home and take a shower. I smell worse than a dirty pig. All that from running. Honestly. I went home, cleaned up and met Val at 1705, just like I predicted. "What's up man?" He sits down at the table, he's wearing a black jumper and white Nike. I took a sip of my black coffee. "Right, so let's not waste any time. Mira told me she loved me." I try to drown my words with the coffee, but it doesn't work. "Wait - [he pauses for a second] - you mean to tell me that the hottest babe in school loves you?" He starts laughing but quickly wipes the smile off his face when he realises that I'm being honest. "Dude, do you even know what this means?" He grabs the biscuit from my plate. "Your spring holiday of 'babes and beaches' is going to be much better than mine with a babe like that by your side if you know what I mean." He chokes down the biscuit and makes a weird thrusting movement. "Yes you imbecile, I know what you mean. Unfortunately, I don't see Mira like that, or actually anyone for that matter." I took the last sip of my coffee.
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He looks at me like I'm insane, but maybe I am. I mean loads of guys would die to be with Mira, but honestly I don't care. "Since you're just going to sit there and say nothing helpful, I'll leave. See you tomorrow Val." I stood up and left a note on the table to pay for my coffee and headed home. I don't have time for Val and his sex jokes. Even if I did feel something that's no way to talk about a woman or anyone for that matter. I swear all people want these days is sex. I'd rather not be used, so I'll rather stay alone. My company is the best kind of company anyway. I got home, turned on some music and made myself something to eat. Music is the only thing that helps me escape the thought running through my mind. [phone rings] Ugh who wants to talk to me now? [looks down on the phone] Oh it's Mira. What does she want, didn't I make myself clear when I basically ran for my life?! [answers phone]"Hey Mira." There's no answer. "Hello?" I wait again for her reply. "Hey Tamo, sorry I'm calling. I just want to say I'm sorry for earlier. I know I made you uncomfortable and I don't want this to change anything between us." [call ends] Mm must be the signal. I slide my phone back into my pocket and finish my dinner. I must say I sometimes do find myself wondering if I'll ever feel something for someone, but to be honest, I don't know. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but on the other hand, I don't want to be in a pointless relationship where I have no feelings whatsoever. Sometimes I wish I felt differently about love and even sex, but for now I don't want to waste my energy on something or someone. [checks watch] Oh damn it's late. I should probably go to bed. I clean up the mess I made and retire to my bedroom. Tomorrow's going to be a lengthy day.
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*alarm goes off*
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Oh my lord. Why is this bloody thing so loud? I slam the stop button to prevent my alarm from waking up the entire neighbourhood. It feels like I got zero sleep in last night. [yawn] I walked over to my bathroom and took a quick shower. Hopefully that will wake me up a bit. I tied a towel around my body and walked over to the basin. [wipes steam off of the mirror] "What the hell?!" I fall backwards almost hitting my head on the corner of the bathtub. "Wait a damn minute" I stood up and looked up into the mirror once again, but the reflection that I saw was not me. My hair...it's black and my eyes are grey-ish. Maybe I did hit my freaking head in the shower and I'm in a coma in the back of an ambulance right now. [closes eyes tightly and opens them again] "Okay well that didn't work." [hits wall with fist]"Ouch!" [internal crying] Okay this is definitely not a dream. I look at my reflection once more. I pull my face and touch my hair to make sure once again that it's real. Oh nope. Nah-uh. I don't know what demonic bullshit this is but I honestly don't have the time for this. I put on a Benny hat to cover my hair and grab the ugliest pair of sunglasses I own. Honestly it's also the only ones I own. Before my mum passed she gave them to me because she saw it at some weird little shop I've never heard of and thought they would look perfect on me. They never did but it means a lot to me, so I still wear it once on a blue moon.
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*a few minutes later*
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I feel like a criminal in this outfit. I really hope no one wants to talk to me. I arrive at school and I already saw people staring at me. Of course they'll stare I look like a fucking suicide bomber. I walked to the over to home room. "Tamojikato can I speak to you for a moment?" Oh shit I forgot that she wanted to talk to me. I walk over to her desk she's quite small. That must sound rich coming from me since I'm 6 foot 3. "Yes Miss, what are the so called urgent matters you wanted to talk about?" I ask leaning over her desk. She's wearing strong perfume. I'm guessing. Nightingale. "Well I know that you are one of the students with the best marks and I can see you're truly academically driven- [more internal cries] I wish I was academic driven. I am just damn lucky all the time -"So I was wondering if I could sign you up for a helping hand job here at the school. You basically turn into an extra help teacher if I can put it very plainly. The school will pay you ¥200 per student. It's not a lot but at least you get something for your hard work, it will also look legitimately good on your records." She glides her glasses to the top of her nose and sits back in her chair. "Well Miss Bren, you had me at the ¥200 per student. I'm in."
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Honestly the more money I make the more I can save up and move to Kyoto in two years. As soon as I'm done with high-school I'm out of this atrocious place. "Good will it be possible for you to start tomorrow?" She smiles and waits for my response. Do I have plans? Don't think so. Can't sit in my flat all day judging clowns. "I guess I could." I just hope I look like myself tomorrow and not the person I saw in the mirror an hour ago. Don't think they'll like it very much when they see a grey eyed, 6 foot 3 dude. [looks at the reader] Laugh you asshole. That was funny. [looks back at Miss Bren]"Great, I think you'll enjoy it I know one of your friends are part of the program, so at least you'll have a friendly face." She stands up and welcomes all the students that just walked in. "Who is that if I may ask ma'am?" I damn hope it's not Val. "Mira, I believe you're friends,-Mira?! Noo! [falls onto his knees, crying internally like an idiot] She's worse than Val. -"but thank you Tamojikato, you may take your seat." She smiles once again. Why Mira? Really? Why is she just freaking everywhere? I walk to my seat with utter disgust and pain. I take my seat at the window like always. I look out the window. I love the cherry blossom trees. My mum used to take me to Nakameguro during spring time it's the best place in Tokyo to see the cherry blossom trees. "Hey Tamo." I hear a small shy voice. Dammit! It's Mira. "Oh hey Mira." She sits down next to me and pushes her hair behind her ear. Her face is all red again. "Mira Makani?" At least our conversation was rudely interrupted by the devil himself. Daisuke Takahasi, the head master. 5 foot 9. Smells like a pig. Blond hair and white teeth. She stands up, looks back at me and then goes with Mr. Takahashi to his office. What perfect timing he had indeed. I was not in the mood for that blundering conversation.
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After a long day of hiding under my sunglasses and inside my jumper, I finally got to go home. I always have a shit ton of work to do because I never really do anything in class. I'm the only one to blame. *[sigh] * If I actually did something I wouldn't be in this situation every day. How I manage to get good marks is still a mystery to me. As I walk home I'm already planning what I'm going to eat tonight. Lucky for me, I live very near to Himonyaasahiya. It's not the best restaurant, but it's cheap. I arrived at the restaurant, ordered my food and walked across the street to my flat. At least the place is mine. It might not be the most glamorous, richest place but it does me well. As I open the door I see my next door neighbour carrying in her groceries. "Hey Akina, can I help?" She's been around for a few months, she also lives alone. "Ah Tamo, you're a lifesaver." I head over to her and help her carry in her bags. Honestly I feel like she's the only person I can tolerate. She's just different. Akina means spring flower, and honestly I know why her parents named her that. She has light skin and pink cheeks with freckles all over her face. She has long dark hair that's always just draped around her like a blanket. She has a more masculine style compared to the other girls. She mostly wears graphic button downs with trainers, but I know underneath the baggy clothes she has a perfect body, just like Mira. "Thank you Tamo, I owe you one."- Her voice is very delicate. She probably sings nice as well. -"Come over tomorrow for dinner?" She giggles and packs the groceries into the fridge. "I'll have to see if I can make it. I have this stupid thing at school, but I'll let you know." I smile and help her pack the groceries. "Anyway my food is getting cold, I best be on my way, see you later Akina." I turn around and head back to my flat.
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After dinner I clean up again and for the first time in a few hours I look at myself in the mirror. At least I look like myself again. Guess it must have happened at school, otherwise Akina wouldn't have been so chill. For a while before bed, I just glared out my bedroom window looking at the moon and stars. My mum used to sing the Edo no Komoriuta lullaby to me every night. I can't remember the lyrics, I can only remember the rhythm. My mum is the reason why I love music so much. She used to tell me that music can speak to the mind, heart and soul, and it truly does. Music is my escape from the demons in my closet. "I love you Okaasan." I know you're somewhere, watching over me. [falls asleep] Ugh, why I'm feel like a helium balloon going up. [looks at the surroundings] Mm, I don't remember being in space. SPACE?! [moves around like a baby throwing a tantrum] Well that doesn't work. But why the hell am I in space anyway? Well, if I think logically. No human is capable of breathing in space. So I am dreaming. "So you figured it out, hey?" The voice, echoing through space. Goosebumps and a dead brain for a few seconds. "Uh, so who is speaking to me exactly?" I'm probably going insane if I dream about shit like this. "You're speaking to the god of dreams. Baku. I am your spirit guardian and protector." Well. He doesn't look like any animal that's on earth at least. He has the body of a bear, the head of an elephant, the eyes of a rhinoceros, the tail of an ox, and the legs of a tiger. He looks hideous and monstrous. But I have read in some Japanese book that Baku's are actually very good despite their monstrous looks. "I see. So why exactly are we talking? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's awesome to see and speak to the god of dreams, but I can't exactly wrap my head around why." [Baku laughs] "Well you see. I am here to warn you. There is an unknown entity roaming your city. It's full of hatred and rage. Once you encounter this unknown entity. You'll feel empty, depressed and suicidal. You will also see physical changes. Black-ish hair and your eyes will turn to a lighter colour than it is now. That is all I can say for now. Since you're already late for school." [he laughs at me] I'M LATE?! AGAIN?! [wakes up] Dammit! [looks at alarm clock] it's 0810?! [soul leaves his body] I am 20 minutes late and I have that extra teacher thing going on!
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I quickly got dressed and ran to school. I missed my first period at least I'm just in time for maths. [bell rings] Thank goodness. [breathes heavily] Why am I so unfit? I walked over to my table and sat down. Strange Mira isn't here today, I wonder what happened in Mr. Takahashi's office. Honestly I don't care, that means I can escape seeing her this afternoon at the extra classes. Today couldn't have gone any slower. Now I need to be here till 1600 before I can leave this hell hole. The first student asked for help with mathematics. At least it was year 10 maths because honestly I don't even understand what's going on with year 12 maths. One student after the other came. Mostly students from year 10, so it went quicker than I thought it would. I finished at exactly 1600. "Here you go Tamojikato." I get handed five ¥200 notes. "Thank you, Mr. Takahashi. I smile and stuff the money into my pocket. Before I got to exit the classroom I overheard a conversation between two other teachers in the hall. "Poor Mira, she's such a strong girl, and all of this in her final year." The teachers walked past the door. I wonder what Mira got herself into. I'll text Val when I'm home. Maybe he'll have some news.
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I got home after a few minutes. "Oh shit! I completely forgot about dinner with Akina." *[knocks on door] * Akina opens the door, she's wearing a sundress. I have never seen her in a sundress since she moved here. "Hey Tamo." She smiles at me and steps aside, allowing me to enter her flat. "Well. I made it." I smiled. "Take a seat and I'll dish up for you." She takes out the food from the oven. It smells heavenly. She made Sukiyaki. I definitely need to get the recipe from her. She put down the pan of food and took a seat across from me. A few minutes later, I worked in two pans of Sukiyaki. I haven't eaten this nicely in a while. "Thank you for inviting me to dinner." I picked up her pan and mine and took it to the basin. "It's no problem Tamo, you're always welcome to join me." She smiles. Her wearing a sundress is really unusual for me. "Can I ask you a question?" She looks up and nods. "Why are you wearing a sundress? I mean I've never seen you in one so I'm just curious." She turns all red in her face. "Well- today is actually my birthday. I didn't want to be alone, so I invited you over." She puts her hair behind her ears. Its her damn birthday?! "Oh.. I'm sorry I didn't even know. If I knew I would've at least wished you a happy birthday." I don't really believe in birthdays. But since she made me such a nice dinner. It's the least I could say. [she stands up and walks towards me] "It's fine. At least I got to spend my birthday with you." Her entire face is blood-red right now.
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Why? "Well I feel honoured that you wanted to spend your birthday with me." I just smiled. [she comes closer] "May I ask a small favour?" She looks at me with small puppy eyes. "Uh, sure." Okay, this is bloody nerve wrecking. "May I, give you a hug? Please?" The words barely came out of her mouth but I could hear what she said. For some reason, I emphasized her. I walk closer to her and warp my arms around her and I bring her closer to my chest. I can feel her heart beat. It's beating faster and faster. Why does this feel so comfortable? I feel so relaxed and comfy. I feel. Safe. "Can we stay like this for a little while, please?" With my eyes closed. I smiled. "Sure, we can stay like this for how ever long you want to." I can't see her smile, but I know for a fact she is smiling. "You're so warm Tamo. Like a big, cuddly teddy bear." [she giggles] Well I am glad I can make her smile on her special day.
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*phone rings*
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"Sorry, I have to take this." [Val calling...] "Val. So do you have any answers for me?" There is a pause for a few seconds. "Wassup dude? She's been missing since yesterday morning" That's weird. "Thanks Val." [call ends] "Is everything okay? You look a bit concerned." I am a bit concerned. But I am not going to let that ruin the moment. "My friend wasn't at school today so I asked one of my friends to find out if she is okay. She's alright at least. Just some common flu." I lied but I had to. I can't worry Akina on her birthday. "Oh okay. Well, I am glad." She smiles brightly. "Let me quickly do the dishes then I will go. I am quite exhausted." After I washed the dishes with Akina, I hugged her for the last time. Waved goodbye and went home. I feel weird. My body is longing for something. Could it be Akina? Maybe it's her hugs I long for or maybe it's because my heart was running a damn marathon when she hugged me. Ugh I don't have the strength to figure out what my body wants. I went for a shower. I feed my fish and go off to bed. Wondering where Mira could be. I couldn't fall asleep, so I turned on the telly and it's automatically on the news channel. "Ugh why is this crap on?" I grab the remote to switch it to a different channel when I hear the news reporter's words. "The search for Mira Makani still continues. She was last seen wearing a white shirt and a blue, violet skirt on Tuesday morning outside Aozora on Himon-ya Koen-dori avenue." I can't believe what I'm hearing. I don't even know how to feel. I hope she's okay and that the police will find her. I switched off the telly. Drank some water and went to bed.
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*kilometres and kilometres away*
*a week later*
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I don't know where I am. I've been here for a while. I'm tied down to a chair. It's dark and stuffy in here. It's been a week. I don't know the people that tied me down. I've never seen their faces. They sound foreign. Definitely not Japanese. [a light goes on] Ouch my eyes. I got so used to the dark that the light burns my eyes. I looked down at my body. I'm covered in blood. I don't know if it's mine or not. "You ready for your final destination sweat heart?" A tall skinny man bends down and leans over me. He's wearing a black ski mask and a black suit. "Who are you?" I ask, struggling to get the words out. "Oh lovely Mira, you'll have to wait and see." He clicks his fingers and two big men appear out of the darkness with big guns. One of them walks to me and stops right in front of me. He has scars all over his face and he only has one eye. The other is blind. Bald and he has bad breath. He turns around the gun. "Night, night.." [he smirks at me] I can hear laughter in the background. He hits me with the back end of his gun and I black out.
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