一直以來,我都相信著。 147Please respect copyright.PENANAYxOc4a68d2
相信著命運,相信著自己。147Please respect copyright.PENANAyfXDEN8lsq
但有時會覺得是在自我催眠。147Please respect copyright.PENANAJAzE1HgTbx
我該知道我會失望、會心痛,只好握緊拳頭、低下頭來,靜靜感受心的律動。147Please respect copyright.PENANAR3O6V4b3dY
我很難過,可是我沒哭。
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我走在街上,最近的天總是悶著,街上的人群似乎更讓它添了些苦悶。透明帶灰色的櫥窗、深灰的街道、淺灰的天、黑灰色小傘,還有櫥窗裡的灰色皮衣,周遭的空氣只剩下影子。很顯然地,這氣氛是篤定的灰。147Please respect copyright.PENANA6RhZzAyqSe
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那天,看著她,是如此信心滿滿。那股氣勢,讓我感受到她的衝勁,腦中浮現「victor」這個字。我想像她這樣的人,勝利一定是屬於她的吧!我想向她致敬,獻上我的祝福。147Please respect copyright.PENANAS9zfJHVNEL
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我有預感,她一定是個勝利者。就在當下,我微笑著。147Please respect copyright.PENANAQVJHV5lbkC
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不回家了,我在灰色的霧影裡散步,就只是散步。就連面部神經和視覺神經都放棄了掙扎,我的眼前一片模糊,腦也停止運轉,整個茫然一片。不知道現在的我是什麼表情?應該看不出來吧?不,他們看不出來的,他們根本懶得去注意……147Please respect copyright.PENANAItMliMNP5c
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只有我是彩色的。147Please respect copyright.PENANAs5z5cBEuvV
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這天空今天灰得很詭異,灰法似乎比水墨渲染更上一層樓,隱隱散發大理石的光彩,似乎天空是有好幾朵珠母雲填出來的。它灰得發亮,但就像白骨般赤裸裸、不帶任何情感,至少天上感覺不到發亮的太陽,感覺不到那隻白惡魔的眼睛。但我知道,這天空沒有睡著,它還是醒的,只是痛苦的閉著眼睛而已。147Please respect copyright.PENANAi92I0XnxTD
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一切就跟我想的一樣,是她沒錯。147Please respect copyright.PENANAYg8RNrZs2G
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可是我竟然高興不起來。我有這麼小心眼嗎?我應該祝福她才對!147Please respect copyright.PENANA9arwQBK1RI
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想到這裡,我稍微清醒了。147Please respect copyright.PENANA5WQpoH9GOR
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也許只要稍微不注意,我就會像朽木一樣倒地不起。147Please respect copyright.PENANA0QrDarzG0l
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四肢癱軟的我不知是什麼神力在支持著,我竟然還能動、還能走。147Please respect copyright.PENANASYwlKn6meo
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真的不必再去想了嗎?147Please respect copyright.PENANAffioVdRx2V
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「唉,算了……」147Please respect copyright.PENANAoLMzLsQx7Q
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天空還是沒有哭,只是泛起了水樣的波紋。也許天空的心正在悸動,飄飄的絲團從它前面呼嘯而過,由飛機雲把剩下的天空瓜分殆盡。應該走的,全部都走了,街道上留下影子,影子的主人還沒回來。147Please respect copyright.PENANAWnldecc73C
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只是在等待。147Please respect copyright.PENANAwoBIyjF5Zn
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人物開始晴朗起來了,總算是回魂了,街上的景物突然由黑白變成了彩色。而我,是灰色的我,充滿灰色的嘆息。這並不代表天空會就此明朗,這只是它瘋狂而無意識的冷笑——那是失意過度的人特有的笑聲。147Please respect copyright.PENANA6WHhvvjhOd
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算了,這樣也好,至少我不用負起責任、不用去害怕、不必去煩惱;這樣也好,她應該算是我的朋友。算了,這是我的命運,所以算了、算了、算了!147Please respect copyright.PENANASNHZeWBa2o
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那最後一個「算了」在我心裡用力嘶吼著、撕裂著,也激盪著。這心痛不是不平、不是嫉妒,是悔恨、是自責!147Please respect copyright.PENANAuBj0mhjtwC
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我的鼻頭冷了一下,抹一抹鼻子上的東西,才發現那東西在我臉上磨蹭著刺痛。147Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8Xoevp05X
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怎麼是雪呢?147Please respect copyright.PENANApAF6Ztd9Vh
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我怪罪似地仰天凝望,不悅換成了苦笑,心裡還是沉甸甸的。是啊,那是苦笑。我的夢會有完結的一天嗎?這是夢嗎?還是一個答覆?147Please respect copyright.PENANAotEGV3cLqH
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然後,他們也注意到了,紛紛抬頭看著天空。看板上的新聞也開始報導,平地的天空竟然下起了雪。而天上的雲,隨著下雪而開始減少,露出藍藍的缺口,若隱若現。另一片雲趕緊飄來,將缺口補上;不料缺口越來越多,那雲卻是越補越薄。147Please respect copyright.PENANAMZZ5fU9xoS
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為什麼越是想隱藏的東西,越是會被揭發出來呢?147Please respect copyright.PENANA2y3FGpNDcQ
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我開始奔跑,沿街喊著:「住手、住手,快點住手!」不要再下了、不要再下了!為什麼你們都不明白?我跑進了公園廣場,繼續喊著,筋疲力盡倒在地上。147Please respect copyright.PENANAiqVKqJS2I9
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「那不是雪、那不是雪、那不是雪……」我掙扎著再度站起,手開始向空中死命猛抓,要把所有的雪接住。雪只是越下越多,手裡能抓的永遠不夠。「快回去、快回去,不要下了!」為什麼你們都不明白,那不是雪,是血啊!是天空的鮮血!是天空撕裂處崩解滴下來的鮮血啊!我還在接著雪,一直到終於,藍藍的天上已沒了雲的蹤跡,我望著雪莫名其妙地哭起來了。147Please respect copyright.PENANAizjg6U6Lwu
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心裡響起悲傷的音樂,但我知道我不會難過太久,只是當下的我已分不清什麼才是我要的了。147Please respect copyright.PENANAtrGMs25qVh
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我們之間到底怎麼了?147Please respect copyright.PENANAdS0JHccfpo
心就像是被瓜分一半,147Please respect copyright.PENANAXvqd2jjrp0
在那未落雨的天空,147Please respect copyright.PENANAbhyAjKfqYa
我慢慢開始走到了盡頭。147Please respect copyright.PENANAn7fJrw6RPX
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到底我在想什麼?147Please respect copyright.PENANAiZO7otDlHj
徬徨不知該何去何從。147Please respect copyright.PENANA7BdK7XoBUO
當時間停止夢遊,147Please respect copyright.PENANAl4AD5b51Y2
我開始想恢復當初的自由。147Please respect copyright.PENANAnahNaoSS9Y
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算了,算了,147Please respect copyright.PENANAw3CsaEzlWj
不必再等候,147Please respect copyright.PENANAjOIkXVVUbD
這一次,我絕對不放過。147Please respect copyright.PENANA6jQZKvWPdL
這一次,我絕對不為你停留。147Please respect copyright.PENANAHuJr9EGMQz
算了,算了,147Please respect copyright.PENANApTMG6Y6XOM
不必再執著,147Please respect copyright.PENANA7Gv1WwQQVi
不必再感受寂寞,147Please respect copyright.PENANA1cTA6kAssE
心中只剩下一個還在流浪的名字。147Please respect copyright.PENANA0GdZCfrVPi
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我們之間走到了盡頭,147Please respect copyright.PENANADINjVcROEC
連個位子都沒有留給我,147Please respect copyright.PENANAhwIIH5nCoj
可是我還在掙扎著,147Please respect copyright.PENANApFPpfJlmHy
看你什麼時候回頭。147Please respect copyright.PENANAZQQs5sHA00
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原來夢,不曾消失,147Please respect copyright.PENANAz4Milo58r0
只是情景已經不同了。147Please respect copyright.PENANAVLIjjT5tU5
原來星,不曾殞落,147Please respect copyright.PENANATfYfzcgyMl
只是我們的眼睛一片朦朧。147Please respect copyright.PENANA5cRWdppKFr
原來雲,不曾難過,147Please respect copyright.PENANAan4xmhw5oT
只是我的心已倒在血泊之中。147Please respect copyright.PENANAQEXd5XXLXa
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今天的遊樂場很熱鬧,但我很安靜。靜靜的,沒有人發現。沒有人發現我的淚……147Please respect copyright.PENANAz2ouvHs1V3
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……滴在心裡的聲音。