【0】
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他,還是他?
自從重逢那天起,妳天天都在思考這問題,畢竟,魚與熊掌不可兼得,妳只能要一個。
都是兒時玩伴,一個總是對妳很體貼,但自從1、2年前起,時常忙於工作,相處的時間可說是從形影不離,變成了只在忙裡偷閒的瑣碎時間相處。不過,人生的每個重要時刻,他幾乎都沒缺席過。
而另一個相反,初戀,幾年前離鄉背井,最近突然連絡上妳,而見不得人的那些事,一發不可收拾,明明愛的不是他,但妳卻離不開他。
那麼,妳要的是什麼,而最後,又會成什麼樣子?
讓妳無法自拔的癮,還是妳現在的摯愛?
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【1】
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10年前,你們在熾熱的盛夏相遇,6年後,在凜冽的嚴冬分離。
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「你...你是真的要走了嗎...?」
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在家門前,妳拉住他的衣角,作為最後的留戀,遞了一包昨晚烤的餅乾。
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而他拖著的行李箱停了下來,妳不敢直視他的臉,就怕自己太留戀、開始無理取鬧。他稍稍蹲了下來,帶有薄繭的那雙手撫上髮絲、順至臉龐。還是忍不住淚意,眼角逐漸濕潤,那一滴滴的眷戀被他抹去。
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「笨小孩,妳哭起來很醜」
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「呀...李旻浩...」
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他不曾這麼做過,但那話早已聽了不知道數百遍,對你而言,他的一字一句都格外特別,因為喜歡。但妳從未提起,畢竟相處的時光大多都是三個人,和徐彰彬一起,不過這次除外,他要練社,而且完全沒有推託的地步。即使李旻浩是情敵,但同時也是玩伴,三人就是青梅竹馬啊,多少帶有點感情在,但成分是什麼只有本人自己心知肚明。
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有點錯縱複雜的,妳與他,他與妳。
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「等我回來吧」
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眼淚就是那麼的不爭氣,李旻浩好不容易給妳止住了卻再流了下來,他沒有任何的怨言,再次抹開了那行行的淚水,在你臉頰上給輕輕落下了一吻便頭也不回地離開了。
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那一吻,是如何的輕柔,也許妳對他的愛早在無意間傾洩而出,他知曉而不講明,反倒是為此覆上了一片紗。
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他對妳是怎麼想的?無從得知。
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【2】
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徐彰彬一練完社當然是馬上趕了回來,可只見妳坐在家門前的階梯上痛哭著,當然是為了李旻浩的離別哭,他的心著實揪了一下。自己深深愛著的女孩兒在為別的男孩哭泣,那他呢?
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曾幾何時妳有沒有看過他一眼?想也知道答案是什麼,妳總目不轉睛地看著李旻浩的一舉一動,而徐彰彬總是望著你倆,只想看著妳卻無法,只因妳的全世界是他。
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像夜深人靜之時,抬頭望的不僅是月,是月和金星,整片漆黑裡最閃亮的兩個存在,而自己就是在地球上,只能看著你倆在自己身上倒影的、一片漆黑的汪洋。
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現在的妳失去李旻浩,才終於望向那個總陪在妳身邊的徐彰彬身上。他拿出紙巾不是先擦自己額上的汗珠,而是妳眼角不止的淚。將妳擁入懷,輕拍妳後背。
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三人行最後還是成了兩人,對徐彰彬而言,國中最後一年就像是天堂一樣,畢竟少了李旻浩這個絆腳石,兩人相處的時光多了不少。
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讀書時妳總叮嚀著他可要認真點、要是高中不能同校那該怎麼辦是好?他也清楚這件事,畢竟,你們的成績就算再高也不及李旻浩,絕對是上不了他在的高中,但要是不認真,就錯失三年同校的美好光陰了。
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最後兩個月,徐彰彬和妳行影不離,生活只剩下了讀書和他。至於李旻浩?臨走前他曾經說過不要聯絡他、讓妳看看外面的世界,時機成熟了他自會來找妳。
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栽在書裡的妳忘了他,任誰都沒想過會這麼快,徐彰彬也不曾向妳提起他的任何事,要是就這樣想起李旻浩豈不是對他不利?人都是這麼自私的。
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但皇天不負苦心人,兩個半月後才公布的結果是,妳和徐彰彬都拿到了好成績,也進了同間高中,最驚喜的是妳倆在隔壁班。這麼好的結果絕對得辦個慶功宴犒賞過去那樣辛苦的自己。
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可說是慶功宴但好像也不是如此,大抵不過是一起大吃大喝、大玩特玩,把被禁錮在書裡的自己解放,順道為即將成為高中生的自己喝采。而在這年紀的少男少女,最愛的景點絕對莫過於遊樂園,果不其然,你們選擇在那裡度過這只屬於你們的一日。
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而剛好被分在隔壁班這回事,和接下來發生的事相比,根本是微不足道。夜裡,摩天輪被點亮,在那片炫彩奪目的景色下,妳被他突如其來的告白嚇得啞口無言。
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李旻浩敗給了時光,日久生情抵過了連個訊息都連絡不上的他,透過社交軟體,你們在摩天輪下的現時動態他才知曉,而回復了徐彰彬的。
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「要幸福」
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這三個字簡短,卻如鉛塊般的沉重落在徐彰彬心上。是,他也曾是個局外人。簡單地回了「你也是」便沒了下文,而你和李旻浩的聊天室還是那樣,沉在列表最底下,再也沒有浮上來過。
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李旻浩最終還是取消追蹤了妳和徐彰彬,這舉動是那樣的簡單粗暴,但不能不這麼做。他沒有那個勇氣看著自己最愛的女孩和自己曾經最好的朋友幸福,想當然,徐彰彬那三個字在他眼裡看來甚是諷刺。
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這些年不見金星,月兒像是醉了般在大海浮沉,豔陽的照耀下波光粼粼,是那樣的沉靜,卻一點也不無趣。
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【3】
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徐彰彬不意外地再次選擇了流音社,而妳也和他一起,作為主唱。
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想當然耳時光飛逝,瞬間就到了二年級的成發,這幾個月間妳看見了他認真創作的樣子,是如此的真摯,好像平時完全見不著像這樣的他,其中妳也為了和他的饒舌搭上點默契到他家練習過好幾次,那幾個晚上彷彿回到過去,上次像這樣充滿幹勁又熱血的時候,莫過於準備考試的你們。
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「徐彰彬,已經四點了,休息吧別弄了」
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在一旁戴著耳機、反反覆覆確認錄音內容的妳說著,沒有回應。別過頭一看才知道,他睡得特別熟,而這幾個月他黑眼圈特別重,肯定也是沒有好好睡覺。妳沒有像以前那樣輕聲喚醒他,走去他房間抓了棉被過來往他身上一蓋、拉了張板凳,移開桌面的鍵盤和滑鼠,悄聲無息地、也趴在一旁,凝望他沉睡的臉龐。
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明明不過17,難掩的憔悴卻好像偷偷的幫他加了十個年頭上去,妳心疼。
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手心的溫熱覆上他臉,泛著淚光、泣不成聲,他是那麼的辛苦而妳事到如今、一切都快結束了才發現。感情是需要陪伴,而妳卻不曾開口問起他需不需要,反倒是他總能夠合時宜的來到妳身邊:他像是蒼天賜與妳的禮物。
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「吶,怎麼哭了」
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他開口關心,而淚不止,妳在他懷裡盡情發洩,自責自己是只懂得接受他愛的笨蛋,總不發一語的承擔所有。
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「反正我偷走了妳的心,我們互不相欠了吧」
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「但.....但是.....我、我也........」
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還說不完,他馬上吻住了妳的唇,黏膩、溫熱,。是妳主動挽留他的溫度,雙手纏上他脖頸,與他擁吻,在那漆黑的夜、只有你們的他家、他工作室。但沒有甚麼進一步,也不行那麼做,不過是在他懷裡沉沉睡去。
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而到了成發當天,從一開始在台下的緊張到台上的心平氣和、下台的歡呼,妳始終望著徐彰彬,因為妳知道這是他一直一來想做的事,特別是與妳,妳記得他和妳說,在那一夜、他以為妳早就睡著的時候。
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又是一回慶功宴,但這回不再只有你倆,多了更多過去幾個月一同奮鬥的夥伴,可惜你們的年紀不能喝酒,要不肯定全都和瘋子一樣,說是會把店砸了也不是毫無可能。
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結束了精采的高二生活,正準備要像從前一樣開始發憤圖強時,徐彰彬卻收到了小有名氣的樂團發來的邀請,那個只有2人的3RACHA,說是尋尋覓覓終於找到了像徐彰彬這樣的人才、而明明隊名有3卻只有2人的理由把他給邀了進去,而徐彰彬卻漸漸的、成了妳生命中可有可無的存在。
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偶爾的一句「吃飯沒」,抑或「睡了沒」就已經很少見,更別求其他的了,反正又不是沒考過大考,少了他實體的陪伴罷了,現在總是視訊螢幕上、認真工作的他,有時還會被他錄音的時候嚇到。但,久而久之妳也漸漸習慣不再形影不離,而是鮮少見面、相對比較密切的的聊天室對話和視訊成了家常便飯。
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少了他的日子,漸漸變得無聊了起來,準備大考之時,妳本不以為意,可任誰都沒有想到,在妳考完、等待錄取通知時是怎樣的難熬、是怎樣的枯燥乏味。
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{第一篇\0816 am3.07}
【4】
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冰天雪地的寒假,才剛搬進和他合租的套房裡。這而離校不過五分鐘非常近,離徐彰彬工作室半小時,也不是太遠。
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又到了冬天,是你最喜歡的冬天,不過好像因為這樣大房子的只有你、和暖爐的嗡嗡聲與溫暖,又會發出聲音又有溫度,妳開始懷疑他也是人了,可好在不久後傳來了開門聲,真正的人,徐彰彬走了進來,頭上的毛帽還積了一小片雪。
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「辛苦了」
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妳悄悄踮起腳尖在他頰上留下一記,外頭下著雪,想必也是很冷吧?本想讓他趕快洗個熱水澡,但他今天好像有點反常,或是說比平常的他還主動。
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他放下包包後把妳一把抱起,看妳有些驚慌失措還輕笑了幾下,好幾天沒見,他嘴角揚起的角度也還是那樣的好看,妳想。可徐彰彬沒懷什麼好心思,把妳輕放在偌大的雙人床上、俯下身,貼近了過來看著妳。
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「你幹嘛...不是還沒洗澡嗎,怎、怎麼上來?」
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「想取點暖,外面好冷.....」
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「那我、我把暖爐開高一點」
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「啊.........」
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還來不及閃躲,他蹭了上來,抽下毛帽後,凌亂的髮絲散在妳肩上,而他又親又吻,在明顯的地方留下一個個印記,鮮紅、而發燙。眼神漸漸渙散,他不曾這麼做過,記憶中頂多是在情人節被男同學告白之時,他總把妳抓到樓梯間,吻到妳喘不過氣、上課鐘響為止,而妳也明白他占有慾很重這事,那這回又是怎麼一回事?
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「你今天......又怎麼了......」
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「我本來想把你介紹給燦哥認識,拿了我們的照片給他看」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAtvwg2qmcsH
「他說妳好漂亮,要不是妳和我在一起,他肯定把妳給搶來。」
374Please respect copyright.PENANARzTdO9MEAJ
374Please respect copyright.PENANADsa5yhUM80
374Please respect copyright.PENANAayhKJDT8Ip
猜對了一半。即使他的語氣帶點委屈、不是過往那般的帶點凶狠和侵略,妳仍招架不住,因為是徐彰彬。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA3gAw9C1kut
在寒冬的月夜下溫存,他奪去妳的夢、在妳的身體每一處翻騰,即使忍不住初次的疼痛、在他背上烙下幾道痕,卻還是毫無怨言。因為對象是妳、腦海裡是妳、心裡是妳,只要是妳,一切便無妨。而妳總是貪得無厭的奢求他的愛,此番亦是如此。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAB9KoAy5LVs
374Please respect copyright.PENANAgxwoAgvMEL
374Please respect copyright.PENANASULAO1ZOjX
像是看不見的羈絆牽動著你們彼此,儘管有時總像個孩子一樣對他無理取鬧,他也沒有任何怨言,反而是向自己道歉沒有那麼多的時間能夠陪伴。
374Please respect copyright.PENANALfYFvwlmVK
374Please respect copyright.PENANAn9e1amy4Xx
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-
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374Please respect copyright.PENANAKW2YIynoda
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而一個月後的這天,徐彰彬忙著公演,和他合租的套房裡只剩下妳獨自一人。妳盯著手機,等著徐彰彬給妳發條「要回去了」的消息,等到的卻恰好相反。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAYJS33667XE
前幾組藝人推遲,整個流程往後延了近兩小時,沒意外的,徐彰彬會去睡工作室、明天晚上才回來,畢竟場地離工作室更近,而工作一樣,不能停。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAYslvgYoTW0
那現在該做些什麼消磨時間?妳只不過才剛關上手機,躺在空空如也的床鋪上發呆,天花板上的電燈亮得可刺眼了。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAhFwBMX6x8D
374Please respect copyright.PENANAZgMffdK7Me
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嗞嗞—————。
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374Please respect copyright.PENANApF2X3P6mbo
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那兩聲劃破了一片寂靜,再抬起手機看見的是社交軟體的圖案。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAqBqKc6PD0B
你有兩則陌生訊息。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAMnB3dfylEw
374Please respect copyright.PENANAu29ZluXjwa
374Please respect copyright.PENANAwPHP1q6fqX
「好久不見了,有空嗎?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAl7kACqmRTP
「出來玩一會兒?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAIZR3ydnR6y
374Please respect copyright.PENANAc7N8KlamdC
374Please respect copyright.PENANAZToadxp2CK
對面那頭,傳訊息過來的是李旻浩準沒錯,三隻貓咪擠在一塊的頭貼、ID叫作_leesoondond_,貼文是他餵貓咪吃飯的影片,那雙指節嶙峋、卻不怎麼修長的手的確是他。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAmk4Hvbpex9
「去哪?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANA70IQQWG0zO
對著螢幕一陣敲敲打打,來來回回折騰了好一陣子才發出去的兩個字,也太搞笑,李旻浩劈裡啪啦的馬上回了好幾句。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA4FBFurPQub
「我家嗎」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAJkkvNXvjQ4
「我家貓咪會後空翻噢」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAenbnZZYQ4h
「…」
374Please respect copyright.PENANABQqw6mg1mx
「開玩笑的,呵」
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「所以來不?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAiqRZB8UU3V
他這樣一問妳也只有答應這條路能走,假如拒絕了,也許就錯失這個良機:能夠挽回過去時光的良機。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAGcoDg00iRp
你問了地址,沒有和徐彰彬說,暮冬的天氣還是有些冷,妳抓了包包、圍巾、大衣,隨意準備了一會兒就出門,攔了輛計程車,不到半小時就到了,甚至比徐彰彬工作室還近些,不過是反方向。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAKkxWcmplXx
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374Please respect copyright.PENANAPXTrsi2xUp
一開車門,一個人坐在大樓前階梯上點起一束紅光,接上那根菸,像煙花般絢麗似卻好像又不是那麼回事。點菸的男子抬頭一看,和妳對了上眼。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAE1MCloILAB
374Please respect copyright.PENANAomvBHg7HTe
374Please respect copyright.PENANAji4P5HLOK9
「哇啊,真快耶,看來很想我喔?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANASRaDBb5DQF
374Please respect copyright.PENANAXZjBbxVoCf
374Please respect copyright.PENANAl5ObtRock4
他食指中指間夾著那束光走近,用空著的右手摸了摸妳頭頂,把原先給梳好的、整齊的樣子給撓亂,而妳抬眼望向他。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA4mwxYfWMm1
374Please respect copyright.PENANAiey97bj14a
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「不想,都過多久了你才回來?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAapR9Yda7Gt
374Please respect copyright.PENANA1qgwQ8noRo
374Please respect copyright.PENANALfYdvkQOX2
口是心非,這大概是妳和他最相像的一點,四年是1460天、35000多小時,不想才有鬼,而妳也不得不承認,第一次和徐彰彬接吻的時候,腦海裡浮現的是李旻浩的臉。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAtC53Z9UAi8
但妳也不是不愛徐彰彬,妳很愛、很愛,他不外乎也是如此。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAQJmPwz3kSs
而李旻浩?他是妳心中那塊軟弱,妳過去總在他面前展露所有,即便好久不見,這份羈絆也沒有消失殆盡。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAo55hEq9Ew2
374Please respect copyright.PENANACXSr2CCYQY
374Please respect copyright.PENANArobMAqF8Ca
李旻浩,是個難以言喻的特別存在。
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374Please respect copyright.PENANA05B1hmZ782
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【5】
374Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8IED3zyYW
374Please respect copyright.PENANAY7sYHWyTGI
374Please respect copyright.PENANAwsNCs9Wrly
李旻浩像是早就預測到妳會來似的,一手的啤酒、烤腸,還有幾盤小菜,而他家說大不大,說小也不小,整個空間都是開放式,大概只有浴室是另外隔出來的。而妳才剛脫下鞋站在玄關,掌心傳來他的溫度,他把妳給帶到沙發上,又把貓咪給抱了過來。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA9d2yxcSChY
374Please respect copyright.PENANAPRVB3f2gf8
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「喏,他叫順兒,我抽根菸再進來,東西先吃吧」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAjorHdPcRr1
374Please respect copyright.PENANAn368OkE4mh
374Please respect copyright.PENANAwyzVQDwrix
說完,他走去陽台。而妳張望四周,他家真的挺整齊,可看上去,似乎還有別人和他同住。而妳手上抱著的順兒,聞起來也是香的,是李旻浩的味道。妳放下順兒,拿了啤酒,夾了烤腸和小菜,才吃得正香他就又出現,在你旁邊坐了下來。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAliC9umgnHK
妳仔細聞了聞,確實半點兒菸味都沒有,他是怎麼辦到的?
374Please respect copyright.PENANAQS6EW7iIS9
374Please respect copyright.PENANAFjafUQBN2r
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「為什麼突然約我出來,還約你家?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANArOvkASVWj3
374Please respect copyright.PENANAkLcWZ7FQqc
374Please respect copyright.PENANA9zDORevZWo
「只是想找個人喝酒,滑推薦看到妳,就傳訊息了」
374Please respect copyright.PENANASgmseyVlE7
「就這麼剛好囉,本來把妳跟徐彰彬都退追蹤了」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAZZPKnxENOI
374Please respect copyright.PENANAIidHIjIPSY
374Please respect copyright.PENANAqbw19ynbT2
妳不語,又想起徐彰彬,是呀,又幾天沒見了。到了第三年沒想到都是這樣,妳是愛他的、他也是,對於工作忙碌這件事,妳也不是小孩了,都懂的。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAcPLsHeZ5vn
眼角變得濕熱,妳開始懷疑自己,如果每次在徐彰彬出門前的挽留,在他眼裡都像無理取鬧的話,這可該怎麼辦?但妳心知肚明他是回不來的,就算他想回來也不行,愛情和麵包要兼顧實在很難。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAPmDariKNtO
好像每次喝醉酒了都在哭呀,小時候三人一起拿大人們買的啤酒偷喝,亦是如此。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAgnvmxg2Rpe
374Please respect copyright.PENANAiWlr4vScXV
374Please respect copyright.PENANAyAcGhxrtMw
李旻浩說完也只是繼續滑社交軟體,拍了張限時動態,拍到了妳放在桌上的手機,可他不以為意,打上了嘻嘻和一個愛心就發了出去,時間11點08分。而回過神來,他才發現妳靠著沙發椅背、死盯著天花板,而眼裡滿是淚。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAsRVrBD38gX
374Please respect copyright.PENANA0j6YLngiaF
374Please respect copyright.PENANA6wqCqoZisU
「妳在哭啥......?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANA2TKYZHEeww
374Please respect copyright.PENANA0UyON7r8Rq
有那麼一秒他想起了四年前抓著自己衣角、挽留自己的那個小女孩。但,那女孩現在長大了,最再自己旁邊,也是差不多的樣子,比起剛才,現在這個楚楚可憐的樣子,李旻浩更是喜歡。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAA78j2YNevT
374Please respect copyright.PENANAkhQ1kaAklC
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他還是像之前一樣,只是用大拇指抹去妳臉上的痕痕淚光。而妳對上他的眼,從眼底看見哭得亂七八糟的自己,而他還是喜歡碎碎念。
374Please respect copyright.PENANApV5Iuao8kT
不知是酒意還是本能,他就像是個旋渦一樣,一點、一滴,像要把你吞噬似的。一時鬼迷心竅,吻了上去,原本緊緊貼著罷了,可回過神來,妳早已與他交纏,是那樣的溫熱、心臟撲通撲通地,和徐彰彬接吻的感覺完全不一樣。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAr1DSlBBg6n
等等,徐彰彬?
374Please respect copyright.PENANABHVzktdnul
這樣像極了有夫之婦趁老公正忙時,和小男友在外頭偷腥。不不不,正是如此。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAATyjoMOs8Z
374Please respect copyright.PENANAfkeK3ywi9S
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妳推開他,把臉埋進自己拱起的膝蓋裡,慚愧的碎嘴自己的不是,才記得之前和徐彰彬發過誓,假如不愛了就明說、別拖著彼此的青春,那東西本就短得可憐。但令妳思考更久的是,妳還愛著徐彰彬,可妳一點也不排斥跟李旻浩近一步的接觸。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAYq2gSsdS77
爛透了,從現在開始恨自己來得及嗎?糟糕的人............。
374Please respect copyright.PENANALdT8td4DK2
374Please respect copyright.PENANAs9Z8Yz6l4B
374Please respect copyright.PENANAtLHXYwaI1U
「呀,起來」
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374Please respect copyright.PENANAf15elbutTx
374Please respect copyright.PENANA91qkbcpTeT
李旻浩大抵是聽見了自己在說些什麼,妳抬頭,而他慢慢把妳逼到沙發的角落,角度也變得越來越小:直至妳躺了下來,而他從上頭,撐著身子、俯視著妳。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAZdoz5a8z2H
374Please respect copyright.PENANAbPvLiwU2BN
374Please respect copyright.PENANAdSG5iNjR8u
「我們,將錯就錯吧」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7agTDZQ4u
374Please respect copyright.PENANAvl2E0LsAIm
374Please respect copyright.PENANAIol3GFZaq5
這次換他吻了上來,而妳沒有半點抗拒,享受著他給你的所有,黏膩,且溫暖,甚至有微微的菸草味。乾柴烈火就這樣燒了起來,他把妳橫抱起、上了床鋪。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA5piIDGEno5
輕柔的吻著妳全身,在他脫下他身上的的遮蔽物後,也一件件褪下妳的,急躁、又充分體現他的個性:他就是那樣的人。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAo4beMkzkHQ
解開背後的鐵鉤、舔舐又輕啃,點燃妳的慾火,陣陣酥麻遍佈全身。底下那片深不可測,他探入、時快時慢地一進一出,很快就招架不住,敗在他那雙手裡。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAw2q6Kj0npc
374Please respect copyright.PENANAkiGjAhXo5R
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「旻......套子......」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAf7bEJoOI7s
374Please respect copyright.PENANAfttjOVIdjA
374Please respect copyright.PENANAlcu8uEMGIA
「妳今天.…..應該可以吧?」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAs2QkDEeS4o
374Please respect copyright.PENANAiZba5vwnkj
374Please respect copyright.PENANAfZIkNDmYzq
妳輕輕頷首。而不得不說,李旻浩比徐彰彬的技巧更成熟,大概是因為經驗多了一些、年齡也大了一點,難不成這就是年上的魅力?妳想。
374Please respect copyright.PENANA0zgbUvHDAv
而妳確實也順著李旻浩的一字一句動作,像是他讓妳把腿張開。但他直接挺入,連酒都要醒了,不過他並沒有移動,只是看著妳、慢慢靠近、輕輕的穩,直到妳能夠習慣他的存在。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAx8eC6MhmAo
374Please respect copyright.PENANARvOiaq8qWx
而趁著唇舌交纏之際,他開始加快速度抽送,從幾句悶哼、到想藏都藏不住的呻吟,他把妳撞得支離破碎,眼神迷茫、還夾著幾珠淚水,而眼前的他笑得可燦爛了,順著頭頂撫上紅得通透的臉頰,妳只能任他擺布,除了望著他,緊抓他的手,甚麼都做不了。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAbZACekG0jW
374Please respect copyright.PENANA6W0sbUZZNi
374Please respect copyright.PENANAx7zRtKMtPH
「哭起來還真是可愛」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAtGM4ZcMQdH
374Please respect copyright.PENANA0Cb9pCOgAE
374Please respect copyright.PENANATKaYYqGfXc
「你明明...說過...很醜的...唔嗯...」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAx8GLLkPkN8
374Please respect copyright.PENANAuI4mVgFDAX
374Please respect copyright.PENANAGbkA9RM7M0
「那是之前,現在可不一樣」
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374Please respect copyright.PENANA4nCexS7XDD
374Please respect copyright.PENANAYNchBNIydy
一貫的惡趣味,無論何時,他都不會放過任何一個機會,但同時,他下半身從未減緩速度,他線條分明、精壯的手臂上多了幾道紅痕,他嘲笑妳像貓,不只背上要抓、手臂也不忘。但妳半個字都回答不了,跟著他的節奏,妳也是一刻都沒緩下。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAyqdC0JUuRg
其中停下的幾次,妳嚷嚷著不要了,可沒過幾秒他又繼續,下身的痙攣還未止又再起,緊縮的甬道,三番兩次,李旻浩還是繳械了,在妳體內深處留下,他的溫度。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAhOifLfwSne
374Please respect copyright.PENANApzNqL8uE1T
374Please respect copyright.PENANA8Hu2vbhXt6
「嗚...你出來...」
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直到妳哭喊著要他離開,他才退出來,要是再來個第二次,隔天妳大概是真的離不開床。而好險他也沒多要什麼,帶著累壞的妳進了浴室清理,幫妳隨便套件他自己的T袖,抱著妳,在深夜,安穩地睡去。
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但隔天也沒什麼特別的,最驚險的,大抵不過是下午,李旻浩才送妳到家十分鐘,徐彰彬就進門,拿了個隨身碟又準備離開,臨走前,他問的話真的差點嚇死妳自己,肯定是罪惡感在作祟。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAw8VfwNu3jQ
374Please respect copyright.PENANA9lv3JJqT9z
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【6】
374Please respect copyright.PENANAqEK3JI5YAq
374Please respect copyright.PENANAZiKTzxF3pu
374Please respect copyright.PENANAAEbyV8GTTH
「你昨天去找旻浩哥?」
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停下手邊原本的動作,你盯著他,而他一臉狐疑,加了句「只是問問」,妳才稍微放下心上的大石頭,裝作昨天什麼事都沒發生似的回答他。
374Please respect copyright.PENANAWglhal9cpI
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「對...對啊,我昨天在他家喝了酒,半夜自己搭車回來的」
374Please respect copyright.PENANAQXeiBFaWmX
「至於剛剛,是去便利商店」
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何必補充說明?妳當下只覺得自己是個白癡,而徐彰彬此時的表情像極了電視劇裡,擔心青春期叛逆女兒的慈父一般,他走近、那雙大臂環繞妳肩,輕輕來回撫摸妳的後腦勺,他提醒了妳一件事,如果他不說,妳可能一輩子也不知道。
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「旻浩哥跟他男朋友吵架,叫金昇玟,聽說是大學認識的,好像因為他喜歡開放式關係吧?」
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「燦哥告訴我跟韓的,那個叫金昇玟的跟燦哥很熟」
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「旻浩哥約妳也記得叫上我,好久沒見到他了。我晚點就回來,記得想我」
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臨走前不忘親妳一口,不是黏膩的熱吻,而是蜻蜓點水般的輕吻,他的吻和李旻浩的不同,就算一樣的令妳心跳加速,可好像還少了點什麼,也許因為他們兩不同人?這豈不是廢話。
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但妳為自己連這種也要比較的心態作嘔,八點檔的劇情在妳身上真實上演,妳很愛他,可是另外還有個他,一個是平淡無奇的小情小愛;一個是轟轟烈烈、見不得人的關係。
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一路的陪伴與久別重逢,妳不知道、也無法預測,妳們的未來。
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而妳為了釐清一切、想要掌控所有,又聯絡了李旻浩。好奇心驅使妳去發掘一切,你不知道的事情。「你有男朋友?」,簡短又直且問題的重點,妳只是想知道一切。
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「對,怎樣?我也喜歡男生所以要討厭我嗎?」
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「吵架很久了,昨天分了」
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「所以你才找到我?然後酒後亂性?」
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「笑死。我們不要聯絡了。」
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妳只是讓閃爍的螢幕再次暗了下來,沒有取消關注、也沒有封鎖,說真的是氣話,妳只是不滿他把妳當作“發洩”的對象。
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一點也不討厭李旻浩,一點也不,假如換作其他人做一樣的事那又不同了。李旻浩一直都是妳人生的例外,他怎麼對妳都可以,反過來看徐彰彬卻不盡然,難不成其實一點也不愛徐彰彬?怎麼可能,都在一起多久了。
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放下手機不過三小時,妳看著電視吃著餅乾,卻不停傳來震動的聲響。來電顯示是李旻浩,沒想到他還是記著妳的電話號碼、而他也一直沒換。
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電話那端的他讓妳下樓,說他在樓下等妳。但妳壓根不信,直到開窗看見他,靠在白色轎車上,一身黑,又點著菸,和妳對視那瞬間他立馬丟到地上、踩熄。
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他喊著妳名字,那音量的大小大概整棟樓都能聽見,而電話還沒掛,說了句住嘴你才下樓。
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一開樓下的大門妳就撞上他,撲通撲通,他的心跳聲,抱上妳的那瞬間,無比溫柔、且溫暖。
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「對不起餒,剛剛太兇了」
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「你是卡到嗎?」
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實在聽不慣他那語氣,聽著像是撒嬌卻有點戲謔的意味,妳狠瞪他那雙水汪汪的眼,彷彿承載著整片宇宙,像是黑洞般吸引,可妳回過神來,把正在大笑的他給推進一旁的小巷。要是徐彰彬正好回來就糟了,撞見這場面大概任誰都無法好好解釋。
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「怎麼樣,想我嗎?徐彰彬還沒回來對吧?」
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「呦,被男朋友發現的話......會怎樣呢?」
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「欸不是,你又是怎麼———」
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妳未曾提前這事,也許是社交軟體的貼文出賣了妳。他豎起食指輕輕覆上妳的唇,示意妳別再說話,眼神變得柔弱,看上去像隻楚楚可憐、無家可歸的流浪小兔,但下一秒他卻湊近妳耳邊。
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「我知道妳想我、說的也是氣話」
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「就偷偷來吧,不會有其他人知道的」
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【7】
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像這樣濃烈的、無人知曉的,你倆難以言喻的關係。無視那片汪洋,在漆黑的夜,金星和月又高掛在天空。
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妳雙手被他禁錮在頭的兩側,吻著妳,在一片寂靜,暗巷裡就像在另一個世界般,少了都市的熱鬧。
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急促、紊亂,他向下吻了更多,遍至頸間與鎖骨,季春的天氣不冷也不熱,下樓時妳只在細肩帶背心外加上件外套。不安份的手將那細柔布料拉上,一片深藍蕾絲在他眼前展露無疑。
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「穿這麼漂亮下來做什麼」
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他輕覆上妳胸前隆起,另手緩緩前進後背上的鐵扣,輕鬆被他解開。而這回是妳先主動,攬上他的肩、與他相擁,在這片美好夜色,吻著他柔軟的唇,著了迷般的無法自拔。
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可放在短褲後口袋的手機響了起來,他將其抽出,遞到妳眼前。
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是徐彰彬。
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「喂?怎麼在喘,妳沒事吧?」
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「我剛剛出門運動…1小時後回來…你先吃飯...」
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假如沒接電話,徐彰彬肯定會下來找人,要是真成了那樣就糟了,妳不想被他發現、也不想跟他分手,但妳又離不開李旻浩,這才是問題所在。
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電話剛掛,妳靠在牆上,心如亂麻,但現在的妳只想和李旻浩在一起。而他斜著頭看著妳,手篡上了外套拉鍊,拉起後,又幫妳戴上帽子。
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「去車上吧,還是妳想在這裡做?」
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妳搖了搖頭,而掌心傳來他的溫度,要是上了他的車,等等可沒辦法挺直腰桿走路,妳想。
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現在的妳更享受這段不單純的關係 ,李旻浩的一舉一動讓妳更沈浸在這片美好的世界裡,或快或慢,一次次的撞擊、與他落在妳身上的每個吻,還有在胸前的齒印,都讓妳深深著迷,大概是一輩子都逃不掉了。
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「後天一起吃飯吧,晚上」
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「只有吃飯,別想那麼多,徐彰彬在的話也帶上他」
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「噢還有,上去了趕快洗澡,自己清理可以吧…?」
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他碎碎念的個性依舊改不了,臨走前的叮嚀外,還附送了一個熱吻,卻讓妳更有點捨不得。
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但見不得人的關係,享受片刻的美好就已足夠,妳還是下了車,身上微濕的那件背心、酸軟的雙腿,說是去運動,妳相信徐彰彬不會起任何疑心的。
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一進門,妳看見的是累壞、躺在沙發上睡著的徐彰彬。假如問妳世界上最可愛的東西,如果不是李旻浩笑起來的樣子,那就是徐彰彬的睡顏,臉頰圓嘟嘟的,總讓人想咬個幾口。
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而妳是洗完澡了才把他搖醒,半睡半醒的他將妳擁入懷,手纏著妳髮尾、貼在妳肩上、嗅著妳香氣,幾個輕啄,但妳捧起他臉,直勾勾的看著他。
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「我累了…,而且這裡是沙發」
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「沙發又怎樣…既然妳累了,我們回床上吧。」
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他一把將妳抱起,回到了柔軟的床上,妳在他懷裡入眠,可想的不是他,夢見的人,也不是他。
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春天做的夢總是讓人難以啟齒,妳又夢見了他。人說日有所思夜有所夢,但妳不願承認罷了。
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李旻浩的圈套,一輩子也逃不出。
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