Cassey paced her room, heart beating furiously. What Tom had said... Was it true? Did he really mean it? Was he kidding with her like he'd always done? Were the tears and everything true? She groaned, irritated that she had no answers to the million questions in her head.
Her eyes landed on her phone. Should she..?
Yes, she should. Cassey picked up her phone and opened the dial pad. She hurriedly dialed the number, for she already remembered it by heart. Hands shaking she placed the phone on her ear.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
Four rings...
The call went to voice message. Tom was avoiding her, she understood. Cassey tried again.
"Hey, Tom this side. Sorry I'm busy right now... Can't pick up your call. Leave your message after the beep."
The beep came. Cassey took in a deep breath. If that's what he wanted that's what she'd do. "Tom," her voice was barely a whisper. "My sweet, idiot Tom. Why are you avoiding me? You know, we'll have this conversation sooner or later. Unless... Unless..." Her voice caught in her throat. The reality was harsh. "Unless, the disease is really severe. How could you not tell me before? You told me that you just found out but that's a lie, right? You knew it long time back. I always though you were hiding something from me... but something like this?" Tears were threatening to come out as her lower lip trembled.
"I though we were the best of friends, we always shared our secrets, right? Our first dates, relations, kisses, family problems... We knew everything about each other. But I guess that was just me and my wishful thinking. You always excelled better than me. You even excelled in keeping secrets. Wow, Tom, just... Wow."
Cassey's legs felt heavy. She fell on her bed, stomach churning with an indescribable feeling. Dread. Betrayal. Sorrow. Melancholy. Cassey continued with a heavy heart, "How long do you have, Tom?" she whispered, afraid that she'd lose it if she raised her voice. Years of playfulness and fun and innocence crashed upon her as she closed her eyes, tears flowing silently. Cassey had never thought something like this would come in her life. "How long... do we have, Tommy?"
She shut her phone forcefully. She couldn't speak any longer. The tears finally came out in all it's glory as Cassey cried.
Cried, remembering them as young five year olds meeting for the first time ever, smiling and giggling at each other. Cried, remembering them as eight years old when for the first time they snuck out of the house without their mommies and came back immediately when they got scared they might get lost. Cried, remembering them as thirteen years old when they had their first kiss together... Out of morbid curiosity as to how a kiss felt. Cried, remembering when they were seventeen and had simultaneously got their hearts broken but ended up laughing at their stupidity and the mere co incidence.
And cried, when, at twenty, her best friend gave her that shocking news which literally broke her hearts into a million shards.
"Cass..." Tom said, weary, looking straight into her eyes. "Cass, I'm going to be very frank here, like I've always been. What I'm gonna say maybe the most horrendous news of the day, but I'll say it anyway. Cassey... I have cancer. Cancer at its last and most crucial phase."
Cassey would never forget the look he'd given her. Eyes brimmed with tears and jaw tense but he'd given her a smile anyway. A smile saying Don't worry. I love you. As though her shock and tears were more important than his life.
Tom.
He had always prioritised her and her needs before anything else. Tom, her Tom.
Now she would repay him. Like the way Tom had always thought of her before anything else she would do the same. Cassey stood up and wiped her tears with a new found determination. Grabbing her coat and purse along with her phone she barged out of her room and out of the house.
Within ten minutes she was outside Tom's house. She imagined if something happened to him... How would the house look then? No! Cassey shook her head. Nothing would happen.
Getting out of the car she ran up to the porch. Without bothering to knock or ring the bell she walked in. "Tom!" Cassey called, heading towards his room. "Tom!"
The door of Tom's room opened before she could reach. Cassey suppressed a gasp as she took in Tom's appearance. One of the most handsome man Cassey had ever seen, now Tom looked like a ghostly person.
His earlier thick brown hair had thinned drastically and his sparkling green eyes now had a dull, God forbid, almost dead look. Even Tom's skin had become madly pale.
"Cassey?" Tom said in disbelief. He glanced at his room then back at her. "Cassey, you shouldn't be-"
"How could you, Tom!?" she cried. Her feelings were overflowing. The thought of him not being here pained her. Cassey stomped forward grabbing his collar. "I've always helped you, right? Since we were five I've been there for you, helping you. If you had just once said it-"
"If I had said it then what?" Tom asked gently, playing with her long hair like he'd always done. "You couldn't have helped me, Cass."
Cassey shook her head. "We could have treasured our time! Have fun, go for movies, picnics, sleepovers anything! We could have had memories to hold on to. Why did you have to suffer alone?"
Tom felt his gut tightening as he took in Cassey's tear strained face. He knew this would happen, obviously, then why did it hurt him so much?
He hugged her, closing his eyes. She sobbed on his chest dampening his shirt but that only made her tighten his hold on her. Oh God, he was so in love with her.
"I love you, Cass." Tom muttered, before he could stop himself. Cassey stiffened as she took in the meaning. Love..? As a friend or sister or... Something more. Strangely she wanted him to love him as a woman.
Slowly, she looked up meeting his familiar green eyes. Then as though on instinct she said, "I love you too, Tom." And that's when she realised. That was the reason she was having this strange gut feeling at the thought of Tom leaving her life. She loved him. She had always but was just too scared to admit.
Tom's pale face lit up as though he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
And yes he couldn't. All those years of loving her when he thought she just thought of him as a friend when they had mutual feelings. This hurt him also because his time was so limited. Such limited time to make up for the years he had spent loving her.
Now he could do what he'd always wanted to do. Tom leaned down and gently placed his lips on hers. They were still as he remembered from seven years back when they had kissed the first time. Soft, plump and delicious.
Cassey shivered at his soft and gentle touch. Her eyes fluttered close as he rubbed circles on his cheek. Oh God. This felt so good. She completely gave into his touch and wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up.
And the next thing she knew she was lying on his bed with him over her. Tom planted butterfly kisses all over her face and neck.
Tom wanted her. More than he had ever wanted to. Time was short. Too short. He was probably just a week away before the cancer completely took over him and then... Then he wouldn't be there.
Wouldn't be there to see her graduate college, starting a job, marrying... Tom's heart ached. Ached for the love he felt for her and how he'd miss out seeing her remaining life.
Before Cassey knew it, both Tom and her were shirtless, devouring each other's mouth with so much intensity it made her head spin.
"Make..." she panted. "Make love to me, Tom."
Tom stopped kissing and looked at her. His heart swelled as he saw his strong Cassey, now looking so vulnerable. Her warm brown hair spread across the pillow and her pale face had turned to a crimson color. But she also had the determined look which Tom loved.
"Are you sure, Cass?"
Cassey nodded, as she smiled shyly. "I want to lose it to you."
Tom had to admit he was more than a little shocked. She was still a virgin? That made him more excited as he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "It'll hurt."
Cassey bit her lip. Of course she knew. Her friends had told her enough of their first time. But she also wanted to keep a special memory. "I know." Cassey whispered back, wrapping her arms around his neck. "But please. Even if it is once, I want to. Please, Tom."
She didn't have to say twice.
Slowly, he entered her, gently. Cassey closed her eyes as she felt the first shot of pain. But, gradually the pain turned into pleasure as they moved against each other. "Tom," Cassey moaned as they moulded into one. "Tom!"
Tom couldn't stop. He was here. Cassey was here. Doing it. If God had given him a punishment he was now making up to it. Now Tom didn't care whether he lived or died, heck, he didn't care if the world ended right there.
Cassey, his long love, was here. He didn't need anything else.
Both of them were now covered in sweat and panting loudly. Cassey stared into Tom's eyes and saw the naked love in them. So open, so true, so sad. "Tom," Cassey touched his sweat clad face. "Tom, I want time to stop."
Tom smiled at her sadly. "Oh, Cassey, you've no idea how much I want it too. But," his voice dropped to a hush. "We both know it's impossible."
"Why, Tom?" The traitor tears came out yet again, blurring her sight. "Why can't we be happy? Why can't be happy together? Why did this happen? Why..." she cried yet again.
Again that drowning feeling came in Tom's gut. He didn't care that he was going to die. All he cared was that Cassey was beneath him, unable to control her tears.
"There are so many questions," Tom replied. "To which we don't have an answer too. These are a few of them, Cass." Tom looked straight into her teary eyes. "I love you, Cass. For the past ten years. I'm sorry I never had the guts to tell you that. I'm a coward. I... I regret so much not telling you. But I was scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of losing our friendship. I'm sorry."
Cassey shook her head. "There's no point and no need for apologizing. I love you too, but I never realized it. But now I have." she choked on her words. "We can still save you, Tom. I believe it."
Tom sighed and kissed her forehead. "No, Cass, you can't. No one can. The doctor has already confirmed it. Now there's no looking back." he smiled. "But I'm glad that before I died, I could share this moment with you. Though bittersweet. But that's we like right? Bittersweet movies, bittersweet drinks, bittersweet songs..."
Cassey choked a laugh between her tears and nodded. Tom grinned to finally see her smile. But the laugh quickly subsided as Cassey became serious again. "Can you make me a promise?" she asked.
"I don't think I have the time to keep a promise seeing that tomorrow I'm going to be admitted to the hospital but, shoot anyways." Tom joked.
"Promise me you'll come back. Whether in afterlife or whatever shit, but promise that you'll make your presence known. Even if it's once."
Tom stared at her for a long time before he laughed. A full laugh. A real laugh. "I've always done, whatever you've said. So," he nodded. "Promise. But," he added. "You also have to make me a promise."
"That is?" she croaked.
"Promise me, that when I'm gone you won't cry. No matter what. You've got to be the strong person you are." Tom brought out his pinky finger and grinned. "Pinky promise?"
Cassey looped in her finger, forcing a smile. "Pinky promise."
*****
Two years later. Tom's death anniversary.
Cassey stood in the graveyard alone. Everyone had left, the last ones being Tom's and her parents, Tom's sister and his best friend, Mark. She remembered the funeral like it had happened yesterday. Everyone had cried at the funeral, expect her. She had decided she'd keep her promise no matter what.
Everyone had expected her to be crying as well, but when she hadn't and kept a blank expression everyone gave her scorning looks. Some even whispered hateful things. But that didn't stop Cassey from keeping her promise to her best friend and love.
Now, as Cassey knelt down, still in her black mourning dress she smiled. Smiled at his grave. Smiled at him.
Thomas Alexander Martin491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhbrXajVCo
Born: 25th May, 1996 491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNliDtWXTT
Death: 12th December, 2016491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX7GLCjISD
Cause: Lung Cancer
R.I.P.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡex23LH094q
Rest in Peace
She touched his grave, forcing back the tears, just like she had done for the past two years. "Tommy," Cassey said, as though speaking to a child. "How're you? How does it feel to be dead for two whole years, huh, bad boy? Definitely not good, duh! You cant meet an awesome person like me anymore." She chuckled, tightening her cloak around her. "Hey, I'm graduating college tomorrow. Thank god it wasn't today or else I would've had to miss my graduation ceremony."
Cassey rubbed the grave softly. "Hey, Tom. I kept my promise for two freaking years. When will you huh?" Finally, she choked. Oh shit, she was about to cry. Quickly, she stood up and covered her eyes taking in deep breaths.
Suddenly, there was a whish of cold air and a strange yet familiar feeling engulfed her. Then the scent hit her. Oh God... Even if Cassey wanted she couldn't have forgotten this scent. She turned around swiftly expecting to see Tom standing there with a smile but all she could see was the wind blowing and the trees and leaves rustling.
"Tom?" Cassey mumbled. The wind blowed faster as though indicating something. Cassey's body felt light as she turned again and again looking for any sign of the brown hair and tall, lanky body of the boy she grew up with and loved.
"Tom?" she said it louder this time. "I know you're here Tom." Cassey became frantic, looking from side to side, her coat blowing to the sides. "Tom, say something, please! Tom!"
Then like a soft breeze, she felt someone kissing her cheek. Cassey turned around immediately. It might've been a delusion or maybe not. But she saw him. Cassey saw her Tom. He looked the same like he did on the day he died, in hospital's clothes.
Now a complete silhouette, barely visible, Tom smiled at her, the smile which she had seemingly forgotten. Even seeing pictures and dreams couldn't compare to the real smile.
I kept my promise, Cass, the silhouette seemed to say. I love you.
And before Cassey could even get to the fact that he was here, Tom disappeared in a whirl. The sudden appearance was too much for Cassey as she fell on her knees, her body suddenly heavy.
Her gaze fixed on the ground before reality crashed in. Tom came, like he had promised but Cassey couldn't even respond.
The truth was so harsh that the promise which she had kept for the past two years broke in a matter of two minutes.
Cassey cried.
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