When Gerry the spider moved in, I was having a really rough day.
First, I woke up to a text from my now ex girlfriend telling me she'd run off with my best friend. I wouldn't have minded, but my best friend had sworn to me that he'd never take my ex away from me. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2GUbu9tzo
But he had. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD2oSkBHEG
And I was flipping furious. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIYL1uUGPV
So I sent a furious text to them both to tell them exactly what I thought of them, and they could both go to hell because they deserved each other. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi3Qr9jeWR
Ten minutes later, I got a really confused text from my mum, and I groaned in frustration as I texted her back and explained what had happened. I then re-sent the text to make sure it got to the correct recipients this time.348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80n5c848lQ
My now ex-best friend had a few choice words of his own when he got my furious text, to which I told him to go screw himself with a cactus, or my ex girlfriend, since he'd been doing that behind my back for the last few months, as it turned out. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe6AgXXEu2
Naturally, after that, everything seemed to go from bad to worse. 348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeiuUwMbPf
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMgXLYd7Yh
Two hours after sending one last savage salvo to my two exes, I got a text from my boss telling me I was being laid off due to budget cuts. I didn't believe a word of it; the man had been my father-in-law in all but name, and I knew the real reason; my ex had gone crying to her daddy, telling him how "mean" I was being.
But I couldn't mouth off to the most influential supermarket magnate in almost all the United Kingdom. So I sent him a very polite text to thank him for letting me know, and that I wished him all the best in his future endeavours. I then texted my mum back to let her know of the updated goings on, and she promised to take care of my now former boss.
That wasn't going to help my rent situation, however. In what one would call the cruelest twist of fate, my former boss was also my landlord, and since I now wouldn't be able to make rent due to being "laid off", I knew he wouldn't even think twice before kicking me out. So, once I'd got off the phone to my mum to let her know I was moving back in, I began packing in anticipation of my almost-certain eviction.
So it was a really bad moment for a huntsman to suddenly run across the floor and up onto my couch, scurrying under a cushion in record speed before I could reach for the nearest newspaper. I was already having a bad day, so I was in a really foul mood as I scooped up my weapon and stalked over to the couch. But when I lifted the cushion, ready to give the intruder a sound thwack, I saw it holding up a £20 note, with a tinier note next to it saying, "Rent money."
I lowered my newspaper in stunned disbelief. For a moment, I wondered if I was seeing things, but after rubbing my eyes, the spider was still there, holding up his money and his note. Still disbelieving, I took the offering. "Hey, thanks," I said. "I was in a bit of a tight spot there. I owe you one."
Could the spider have smiled, he would have. Instead, he produced a second handwritten note from, well, somewhere, and I read it in amazement. "Just let me have the bugs," it said, and I smiled, feeling very warm inside all of a sudden. I couldn't have said why, but it seemed this little guy had just solved all my problems. "You've got yourself a deal," I said, holding out my hand. To my amazement, the spider "bro-fisted" me with one of its legs, before scurrying up the wall and into a corner. I had to smile again as I tucked the £20 note and the two smaller handwritten notes in my pocket.
My landlord wasn't going to find it as easy to evict me as he'd thought. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when I made rent at the end of this month.
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