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The rain had stopped by the time I got home, but the mood was frosty when I walked in, and I winced. My parents were meeting with George and Mary, but I didn't want to go into the lounge room, not when Jackson was likely to be there, and instead I went upstairs to focus on my homework.
The sun was just peeking through the late afternoon clouds by the time I was done, and, with no other options, I decided a run would be a good way to distance myself from some of the heartbreak stalking me. A stiff breeze had blown up, but when I shifted, it actually felt good in my fur, and I took off, running as fast as my paws could carry me. The woods soon enveloped me, but I avoided the lake where Jackson and I had kissed the day before, instead running out to the far end, where the fields stretched as far as the eye could see. Here, a larger lay sparkling under the afternoon sun, and I wasted no time, shifting and diving in, letting the water envelop me.
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I sank, letting the air go from my lungs, until my feet hit the muddy bottom, before pushing up, up, until my head broke the surface. I stayed above water long enough to take another deep breath before going under again, this time diving to the bottom. Little puffs of mud swirled up in murky clouds as I swam, but I didn't care too much, caring only for the sensation of the growing pressure in my lungs that warned me I was running out of air. But I delayed going to the surface for another breath, only doing so when the increasing contractions warned me I was seconds away from drowning. I almost wanted to drown, but I swam up anyway, and I spat out a mouthful of water when my head broke the water's surface, having run out of air seconds before.
The breeze had freshened, and I shivered as it hit my wet hair. But I didn't mind. At least out here, I wasn't hurting anyone, and I sighed, recalling the morning's fight with Jackson. Knowing that Elena had advoctated for our relationship did ease the guilt I'd felt that morning, but now new shame had taken its place, and as I began swimming for shore, I felt a pang of loneliness, harbinger of the devastation to come when Jackson and his family left for good. I didn't want him to go, but he'd all but said there was nothing that could be done to salvage our broken relationship, believing I didn't love him as much as he loved me. But there he was wrong. I loved him desperately, more than I realised, enough to give this one more try.
Even so, as I stepped on to dry land and shifted back to wolf form, fear nagged at me, and I set out for the house at a dead run, praying I wasn't too late, begging the fates to give me one last chance to prove Jackson that I did see him the way he saw me.126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQPoXOAmCj
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Mercifully, Jackson and Elena were still there, and once I'd changed into dry clothes, I hurried downstairs. Elena snagged me as I passed through the kitchen. "I'm not going to give you a bollocking," she said, "but Jackson told me about the ... conversation you two had this morning."126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKU25LIHq8
I winced. "I didn't know you pushed for him to come back," I admitted. "I'm an idiot, I know. But what about you and Saffron?"126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzvbPdFxei
"Jackson still cares for us, and he asked me if I wanted to stay," Elena said. "I told him he was an idiot for asking that; he already knows I'm willing to stay with him. In fact, I'm hoping the four of us can live together one day, without having to hide anything from anyone who might disapprove."126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPH7LerDtt
"I want that more than anything," I admitted. "But Jackson's said he's taking you and Saffron back to Reading."126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH10tmPKVfR
Elena sighed. "I talked him out of it, at least for tonight," she said. "I'm going back to the hotel with Mum and Dad, and your parents are meeting with another pack to facilitate the expansion. Jackson wanted to come, but I told him not to, because I want to see you get over all the hurdles you both seem to keep putting in the way of your happiness." She squeezed my hand. "Don't make a third mistake," she advised. "Jackson is close to the brink as it is; he's gone out hunting to clear his head, and if you let fears get the better of you again, even I won't be able to talk him out of whatever he decides to do." 126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0uGhUIshB
'She does have a point,' Chaser said, as Elena left, and I nodded. I didn't like getting slapped in the face with facts, but I had been acting like a fool - first worrying over getting busted by Elena, and then worrying about what she'd think if she found out I'd had sex with her mate the night before. If I let fear take hold of me one more time, then it really would be over, and I'd never see my brother again. 126Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnAiyDIY2n
And I didn't know if I'd have the strength to go through another agonising separation.
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