It felt like I spent an hour in the shower before I could get rid of the stomach-turning smell that hung over me from the dumpster. I think I had to wash my hair five or six times.
In school, when kids like Mark were harassing me and making me feel entirely alone and living in fear, I understood the reality of my life. I was at least liked, most hated, and most rejected kid. But, weirdly, I knew what to expect. I also knew that I could come home every day, and my mom would be there to pour on the—I might as well admit it—babying. I would have laid on the couch and sucked my thumb if she wouldn't have thought that I was completely crazy. And for the tough days, I had Max to cuddle up with.
Now, everything was confusing. Mark might have been rude about it, but he wasn't entirely wrong about getting rid of my stuffed animals. Especially since we had become friends, I felt like I was getting too old to have all of them on my bed. What thirteen-year-old cuddles up with a teddy bear?
I think Mark was extra nice to me because I didn't put up a big fight about it. I protested, of course, but I also dropped it pretty quickly. I was cool about it, so he was cool with me.
So, when I got out of the shower and put on clean clothes, I didn't put any stuffed animals back on my bed. Instead, I put all of them—including Max—up on the shelf in my closet, behind a bunch of junk. They were still close, but they weren't noticeable anymore.
I actually loved the posters Mark had given me, though I was still angry he'd ruined my horse poster. It was crumbled up on the bottom of the trash bag with the stuffed animals, but I tried not to think about it too much. There wasn't anything I could do about it now.
Despite everything, I did like how my room looked. I was starting to feel less like the weird kid and more like a typical teenager.
I started to feel bad about cutting our time short because of my worry about Max and thought up an excuse to call Mark.
"Hey, where did you get those posters you gave me?"
He told me he had a whole bunch of them in his closet, and I could take what I wanted.
"You could come now if you want."
It was already 4:30, but my mom wasn't home for a couple more hours, so I went right over. I thought about his weird rule about taking a shower before I came over, but since I'd already spent about an hour and a half total in the shower that day, I was pretty sure I was in the clear.
His parents were both at work, so it was just the two of us at his house. He took me upstairs to his room and opened the doors to the closet. He turned on the closet light and pointed toward the corner, where a bunch of rolled-up posters were leaning up against the wall.
"I can take anything?"
"I'm not using them."
"Nice."
I stepped in further to start looking at them.
That's when he started his joke.
He shut the double doors and turned off the light.
"Very funny."
I pushed at the doors, but he'd tied them together with something, so they would only swing out an inch or two. I could see him smiling in at me.
"Very funny. Let me out."
I hated being trapped in his dark closet and already felt my heart beating fast, but I didn't want to show him it bothered me.
He just looked at me and didn't say anything.
"Joke's over. Let me out."
"No, it's not."
"Seriously, Mark. This isn't funny. Why are you doing this?"
"It's an experiment."
"It's stupid. Let me out."
"No."
He stepped back from the closet, watching me with his arms folded.
I pushed against the doors, hoping to force them wide enough for me to squeeze through.
"I don't like this; come on."
"Nope."
"Let me out."
"Nope."
I figured he was trying to see if he could get me to react, so I kept taking deep breaths and concentrated on waiting him out. He couldn't keep me in there forever. His parents had to come home eventually.
I looked at my watch. It was just barely five o'clock. My mom wouldn't be home for an hour and a half. Maybe Mark's wouldn't be, either.
Now he sat down on his bed, looking at the closet.
"Are you just going to sit there? Why do you think this is funny? It's not!"
My voice cracked. Now he knew I was getting upset.
And he wasn't saying a word.
I pressed my face against the crack, pushing the doors as wide as I could manage, "At least tell me why you're doing this."
He got up from the bed and walked back to the closet.
I figured he was ready to let out.
Instead, he tightened whatever it was that tied the two doorknobs together so the doors couldn't open at all anymore. So now, all I had was a tiny sliver of light.
I'd had enough. With my fists, I pounded on the doors, "LET ME OUT!" I pounded again.
I couldn't see his face anymore, and he didn't say anything else. Instead, he turned off the light, and I heard him leave the room.
I pounded again and even threw my whole body against the doors, "LET ME OUT!"
Now I was feeling real panic.
"LET ME OUT!"
I threw my body against the doors again.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8dGKjkCFt
"LET ME OUT!"199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o5lAETqSz
Finally, he returned to his bedroom, turned on the light, and untied the door.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgKsXtLcGw
I shoved open the doors the first second I could and headed for the door. He blocked me.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbRmt6mqXi
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" I screamed.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXaCSya9KX
"Calm down."199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr5uIkAwqi
I tried to get past him, and he actually held me back.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6NgJrZhsS
"YOU'RE CRAZY! GET OUT OF MY WAY! YOU DON'T DO THAT TO SOMEONE!"199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7soKWrkLYV
I was almost crying. 199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc44pYgXceP
"I'm sorry, okay?" He was still blocking me, "It was meant to be a joke."199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1sCXUHLSG
"It wasn't to me!" I told him. His apology calmed me down a little bit.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQhXK0ExVQ
"I'm sorry," he repeated.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJjNY2N8mA
"Don't do it again!" I warned him.199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9i3EWIez0k
He put his hands down at his sides, "If you're mad, you can hit me, hard as you want, anywhere."
"I'm not going to hit you," I told him.
I wanted to, but I wasn't stupid. He was a foot taller and a lot stronger than me. Plus, I was starting to forgive him already.
"Just don't do it again," I repeated.
He pulled the posters out of the closet so I could look at them and choose what I wanted.
My hands were still shaking. I wondered if he noticed.
199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlIKYVk6iu
