It has been 1000 days since Arbella began to count days. They have become many... we have previously only counted with as many fingers as we have, since we've never had to use higher numbers, but with the counting of days we've had to create new systems. Since counting all the bones became a hassle, she started using different bones for different increments of time. She would use anim teeth for days, when ten days had passed she would use a bone instead of ten teeth. When ten "bones" had passed she used a jamn skull (since they had the smallest heads). And today, the skin was full of ten skulls. That would be 1000 days. It is a very long time. The old days feel so distant. Now Bansel is more than half my height. Ellei and Hast can both talk now, although still clumsily, while Dinna speaks perfectly. Filiny and Gatyk have had another child, a boy again, named Ikus. And Arbella is carrying again.
It is a morning as any other, and I walk out of the home, seeing Bansel sitting on top of the maze, with his legs slung over the other side.
"Be careful. You should not be up there." I say to him.
"I can protect myself." he says. He holds a bone blade in his hand. "If any jamn come I will cut them down from the sky."
"It is still not safe. Come down." I say.
"Why are you always so afraid? I am almost as big as you. I should hunt alone now." he says.
"I do not even hunt alone anymore. Did you forget? The anims in this world can kill you. You will be gone forever, like the ones that we kill."
"Do you even know that? None of us have ever died. Maybe we can not die." Bansel says.
"I do not want to find out." I say. "And why would that even be possible?"
"We are not the same as anims. We talk and think and build, and they just kill and eat and nothing else."
"Because we are different, does not mean we can not die. Now, I am serious, come down from the wall."
Bansel looks annoyed, but eventually comes back down. He's so big now, but every time I look at him I am reminded of how little he was, and I remember when he was injured by that anim. No, I will not permit him to risk it because of his foolish thoughts that he might be immortal.
"Why does it matter?" he says after a quiet moment.
"What?"
"If we die or not. Why do we live here, just to continue living? We only kill and eat too. There is nothing else here."39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBqpLFkows
I want to reprimand him for disregarding his life in such a way, but I understand what he says. For a moment I don't respond, then I say39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfNYMNSpvH
"You do not know. There is more today than there was when I came. And there may be more. Maybe one day we will all find a meaning." I hesitate. "And there is already one. I made you and your sisters and to raise and teach you well makes me want to live. When you are older, maybe you will do this yourself, and you will understand. And then you will also understand why I always protect you."
He doesn't say anything to this. He looks at Dinna who sits in the yard, stroking Avu's fur. I hear Ellei crying from inside the home, and go back inside to look at her, it seems she fell and her foot hurts, but it isn't injured... that ends this conversation.
The next few days pass as usual, but one day while I am attending to the small children, Arbella calls to me. "Armun!" she says. I turn to her. "Bansel is not here! He is gone!" she says. I hurry to the yard, looking around, but he is not there. I look inside the rooms of the home, then the roof, but no matter where I look he is not there, That boy... did he go out on his own? I pick up a blade and climb the maze, running over the walls and looking down at the gaps, trying to see him. But no matter how far I go, I cannot find him. "Bansel!!" I yell as loud as I can, having to fight off jamn that dive down at me. I continue for a long time, but he is nowhere... and the light is soon disappearing from the sky. I have to turn around.
I look back over the maze. I have gone so far... where am I? I start walking back where I came from, but I'm not sure this is the right way, I may have taken turns... the sky is now becoming dark. I cannot find my home.
Far in the distance, I see a light. I hurry towards it. But as I run, a jamn flies into me, it's sharp mouth digging into my arm. I stumble, falling off the wall and to the ground. My shoulder hurts a lot when I land on it, all while I wrestle the jamn and pry it off me. I manage to pin it down, slamming it into the ground until it no longer moves. My blood rushes with exertion, as I sit back again, lamenting my bad luck. I have to get back up onto the wall. But I don't have the materials to build stairs back up. It is so dark, and I haven't eaten and drank all day. What unluck, all while I haven't found Bansel, either. I sit up, my shoulder still in great pain, I cannot move my arm, and my other arm is also bleeding. I consume the jamn to at least satisfy my hunger, and take it's skin with me over my shoulder, picking up my blade and walking through the maze. It's dark, and I struggle to make out the shape of the walls. Somewhere in the distance, I spot a naia plant. I walk to it, picking some of the light stones to carry with me, tossing them onto the ground in front of me to gain some light further ahead. I spot three uams further down, and they come rushing for me. I ready my blade and run to meet them, cutting through the neck of one as it charges, but the other two leap onto me, attempting to bite my neck. I'm wearing a skin around my neck and it struggles to penetrate it though, which gives me a chance to stab the uams multiple times, until they bleed out. Their thin sharp limbs have still made cuts and scratches on my body, and I'm not in better shape than before. I skin the uams, continuing on my way, until I find a krilm puddle... I quickly drink it. I no longer have to worry about starving or thirsting, at least... I create a small shelter out of the anim skins and lie in it, waiting out the darkness. It is too dangerous to be out here, the light makes me a target, and if I don't have it I'll be walking in darkness.
I wait until morning, through a torturous night where I think about the bad things that could have happened to Bansel... considering also the possibility I might not make it back. But of course I will... it can't be so far away. I get up again, the sky has become colorful and I can see the maze again. Despite my aches, I continue on.
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