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「知道危險是什麼嗎？不自制的溫柔」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmy6r9JhOhO
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關上門，崔然竣無神的靠在門上，情緒其實還沒平復，不過身邊沒有人好像也就被關起開關了停止哭泣，已經很久沒這麼哭了。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP4PS6dCL0
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距離上次哭是因為她患了大病，倒也沒有這麼嚴重的哭著，哭到眼睛都覺得腫腫的，老實說，為了自己的事情而哭泣倒是第一次。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Evoad9xN5
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不是受限於性別，崔然竣知道男生也是可以有脆弱的時候，但這個目標是僅限於自己以外的男性，『我不能哭』是為了專心於其他事情而限制自己的情感抒發。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3js6P0iWJ
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被迫放棄夢想的人，是很難受的，有過經驗的，都能懂那種在心裡的悶痛，那是你花了很久時間用不同建材一步步堆砌出來的高塔，而夢想就是你在高塔頂端照亮你世界的那個星星，碰到星星的時候一切都值得。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpQ6giVgoN
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每個人的夢想都是一顆顆在夜空的星。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYBefyckEx
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最後匯集成銀河。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECum1sro4O
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好好的讀書，好好的培養能力，在課堂間填寫學習單裡，毫不猶豫的填上夢想，在同樣年紀時，別的孩子都在苦惱著要當警察或是醫生，崔然竣是第一個繳交學習單的，他是邊哼著小調邊走過去交的。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDNxcx7a6t
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硬要比較，崔然竣是更可憐的例子，他原本也只是普通的培養著，家人們也支持著甚至讚許，灌注這個小幼苗，直至金融風暴過後，大人的世界出現了變化，交頭接耳的時候變多了，他們常常看著一疊文件，眉頭深鎖，他們也常看著帳本喟嘆。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVooU44JRX
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「可以繼續實現夢想嗎！」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6B7WVGVeX
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「我能繼續完成夢想嗎？」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPWmsaEi62
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「憑什麼我不能繼續？」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhUW9J2raz
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「...」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJlyjwso9o
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「好，我會放棄夢想的。」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZYD5rKqx2
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『乖，懂事的孩子』143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oTwDOhe5h
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十五歲問了一次，十七歲問了一次，十九歲問了最後一次，挨打了。『你要繼續不懂事嗎？』『你沒資格完成你的夢想』，十九歲的少年不解，為什麼一記耳光後，他們要說出這種話，「既然沒辦法，就不要囂張著說要幫我完成。」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOChKh43uQ6
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明明有把課業維持在標準，甚至在標準之上，明明有把家務事分擔好，甚至是自動自發，沒有狐群狗黨，沒有談情說愛，一切情感壓抑都在為了夢想鋪陳，「到底憑什麼說我沒資格？」143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGjdRLl9OU
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那時年輕氣盛，或許是這份阻撓讓崔然竣覺得他必須對抗，身兼數職，每天返家，甚至還能夠把家務做好，而且得更好，然後課業也不輸給任何人，崔然竣就是這樣，越是覺得我不行，我就證明給你看，而且我能夠好。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHxb76wCkr
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於是在這場抗爭之中，真正的崔然竣不復存在。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7iXNPIkrv
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他清楚在他們眼中這不過是自己的本分，不會因為自己做的更好，曾經贊同的家人就會如前。破碎的事物要補救早就來不及。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGH33H0onR
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所以我就默默成為我想成為的人那就好，讓別人失望不是自己能夠控制的事情，所以不讓自己失望是最後的底線，所以，崔然竣已經很久沒跟家裡聯絡，從索性搬出家裡後。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrRa6tKUF2
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不過現實終究比什麼熱忱來的快而且殘忍，她生病了，「畢竟還是自己的媽媽」滿足了自己的夢想又怎麼樣？養育之恩還是在，生命在時間面前不過脆弱，耀眼敵不過悲歡離合。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xj5eL6j0W
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這世界是這樣的，你愈是懂事，越沒有人心疼。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzm2unYLRH
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這麼大量的情緒釋放，像開槍一樣，不是在子彈飛出的硫磺味嗆鼻，而是後座力過於猛烈，「好希望他在這，不用說話。」崔然竣想著，第一次這麼難過，也是第一次這麼希望有人陪他。希望兩個字裡藏著那穿著襯衫，笑開來有酒窩的那人名字。143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53El33JiFD
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