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That afternoon, Simon left, much to my relief. Of course, having James in my head wasn't much better, and I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
Mind you, I felt even worse when I found out why Simon had to go. Those packs James had been talking to over the last few weeks had other allies, all of whom had been undecided on whether to join his side or Doreah's. Doreah was apparently gaining quite a following, and I was both pleased and sad at the same time. Pleased that she was garnerning so much support, whilst also sad that I couldn't be there for her.
Simon, of course, had known all along I was hiding Doreah's location. He never said as much, but it was there in his eyes every time he looked at me. But I refused to give that one piece of information away. Doreah was, at the end of the day, still my sister. I was damned if I betrayed her.
So Simon was going and speaking to the fence-sitting packs in person, to try and sway them over to his side so he could bring an even larger force to the table when a new clash happened. And happen it would, I could feel it in my bones.
It was luck that the omegas had been given the afternoon off after doing an exceptionally good job at restorations and cleaning. It seemed Simon's threat had done the trick, and as I walked down to the pool where they'd gathered, I had to admit that it looked a lot better. But as I approached, all of them glared at me, before turning their backs and continuning their conversations. To them, I'd betrayed my old pack by accepting such a "cushy" position as Gamma of the pack, and I knew there was no point explaining why. They'd call me weak for rolling over, when I could've been with them, and once more I was hit with an overwhelming wave of loneliness that threatened to engulf me.
Sighing, I turned and walked to the other end of the pool, which was blessedly quiet, and shaded by some old oak trees which had previously littered the courtyard with branches and acorns. They'd now been trimmed, and the space had even been beautified by some banana lounges. Still, I could hear the sound of the party going on not too far away from me, and I bit my lip hard to try and contain the tears as I dropped my towel on one of the lounges, before diving into the pool.
The water engulfed me, blurring the sounds of the laughter and chatter, and all I could hear was its gurgle. Everything was peaceful and still down here, and I closed my eyes, allowing the water to flow over my body and through my hair. Patterns of dappled light and shade rippled across the bottom of the pool, and when I opened my eyes, I lost myself in their dazzling display.
Eventually, though, my lungs warned me I needed to come up for air, and I did so reluctantly, breathing hard as I breached the surface of the water. I'd swum a bit closer to the omegas than I realised, and my face flushed with heat as I met their angry glares. Rather than try to explain myself (which might have saved me further heartbreak) I dove under again, allowing the water to wash over me once more.
I twisted and turned along the bottom of the pool, taking pleasure in the way the world turned all around me, and I tipped my head back, allowing a few small bubbles to escape from my mouth. The sun glittered brightly overhead, and I lost myself in its shine, my eyes tracking the way the light rippled across my skin. I could just hear the party going on, but down here, at the bottom, it felt like I was in my own world, where no one could touch me, or harm me, or cause me pain. Down here, I was me. I wasn't an exile from my old friends, nor was I a reluctant Gamma. Here, under the water's gleaming surface, I was me, and I closed my eyes again, letting the water wash my pain away. Here, I was free, and no pain could ever, ever touch me. I was on my own, an exile from my old friends, and an interloper in my new pack, but I didn't have to be lonely anymore. 158Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt9kXBGlju
But I soon felt an impatient pull at my brain, and I winced as I opened my eyes, the world crashing in on me once more - and reminded by my aching lungs that I needed to breathe again. With an inward sigh, I swam up to the surface, hauled myself out of the water and hurriedly wrapped the towel around me. The party had broken up, and I shivered a little, unhappy once more that I'd missed my chance to talk to them. But remembering their cold stares, and the way they'd turned their backs on me, I wondered if I was wasting my time trying to make nice to them.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be friends with them again. But to them, I was firmly in Enemy Camp territory, and regardless of my own personal feelings on the matter, so far as they were concerned, I was not to be trusted.
I shivered again as I made my way back into the packhouse. It was now very clear to me that I was persona non grata so far as the omegas were concerned. But where in this godforsaken house could I turn to? So far, none of the pack proper had made any overtures to me, and even James suffered having me around because of Simon's say so. It stunk that the only pack member to pay attention to me was the one male who despised me almost as much as Simon did, and I muttered something rude under my breath as I started upstairs to dry off and get changed.
"Gamma Stephanie."
I turned, wincing when I saw James standing at the foot of the stairs. Aware, suddenly, of how much skin I was showing, I tightened the towel around my waist. James, as usual, didn't let his eyes wander, his gaze continuing to remain firmly on my face. That, in itself, was a blessing. "Yes, Beta James?" I asked.
"Where were you?" he demanded, a strong note of impatience in his voice.
"Swimming," I said firmly.
He raised an eyebrow. "Swimming," he said flatly. "Did I give you permission to go swimming, Gamma Stephanie?"
"No, you did not," I said.
We locked gazes for what seemed an eternity, before James grunted. "Don't do it again," he said, turning on his heel. "I have need of you, and you've a lot to catch up on. Go get changed."
I sighed as I hurried the rest of the way upstairs, giving myself a quick dry once I was in my room, before throwing some clothes on. I hesitated once, before eschewing shoes and hurrying back downstairs again in my bare feet. But as I made my way to the office where James had temporarily set up in Simon's absence, I let my mind wander back to my swim, and a small smile graced my lips. James could forbid me all he wanted, but I was not about to let him ride rougshod over me. With that comforting thought in mind, I headed inside, ready to do all that was required of me, whilst also letting the memory of my underwater world soothe my nerves. So long as I had that, I'd be okay.
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