"Cindy..." Ian managed to mumble in a small gap when Cindy gave him a break.
"Can we stop?" He then added when he next got a break from her assault.
Cindy didn't respond but kept trying to continue what she was doing.
"She won't listen." Ian thought and concluded that he had no choice.
He pushed and forced Cindy off him, leaving her confused.
"What is it, Baby?" Cindy complained in a sad tone.
"My friend arrived." Ian answered.
"Well, fuck him." Cindy said and attempted to force herself onto Ian again.
"No. Really. I should talk with him." Ian insisted and kept Cindy at bay.
"Ngh. Fine then. Planning to fuck him too?" Cindy said back and got off Ian's lap.
"Haha." Ian said sarcastically and got up from the floor with great struggle.
Once he got on his two feet, he hobbled and almost fell again, using other people as support and getting mean stares due to it. He kept his eyes to the door of the club and could no longer see his friend who had already gone outside while Ian was getting up.
"Wait up!" Ian would repeatedly shout to the direction of the door.
He pushed through all the people in the club and barged through the door and into the rainy street. The music of the club stayed on the inner side of the door while out on the street the only sound anyone could hear was the rain hitting the asphalt and cars moving somewhere in the distance. Ahead of him Ian saw a bus stop with a small roof and someone sitting under it. He had a guess who it was so he jogged towards it, stumbling along the way. He made it to the bus stop without slipping and falling, and met Lloyd at the bus stop sitting and sulking.
"What was that back there? Why'd you just fuck off right after coming?" Ian asked while catching his breath.
"I was late. Gig was cancelled." Lloyd answered.
"Damn. So this was a pointless trip then?"
"Seems so. Fucking everything about today went wrong."
"You'll get more down the line. Don't worry about that, mate."
"The band was pretty pissed at me though."
"And you think they'll kick you just for one slip up? Come on, mate. Why were you late anyway?"
"I left home later than I intended."
"Why did you do that? Did something get in the way or what?"
"Probably doesn't interest you."
"What's that supposed to mean, mate?"
"Just... Not feeling like talking about it."
"Suit yourself. Would be a bit of a wasted trip to just go straight back home now after coming all the way here."
"I'm not staying here another minute."
"Well. Have a nice night then. Sucks that it went like this." Ian wished.
Lloyd just sighed.
"So many things just suck." Lloyd stated and silence fell.
"You'll be good from here on out?" Ian asked.
"Probably. I have the ticket for the return trip as well."
"Alright. Good. I'm probably missed back inside so... enjoy your weekend. Maybe we can talk tomorrow." Ian wished.
"Yeah yeah, just go away already." Lloyd said back.
Ian didn't bother interpreting it but just left the bus stop and went back inside the club.
"Boo!" Was the fist word that Ian heard upon entering through the door when Cindy ambushed right around it.
"Fuck!" Was Ian's response to that.
Cindy giggled.
"This place is so shit. Want to go to the hotel?" Cindy asked.
"We have a hotel room?"
"Not yet, dummy. But we can get one. We can't really drive back home, now can we?"
"Probably not."
"So let's go look."
"Can't you just like... find one from the phone?"
"You think I didn't try? I couldn't get anything done, haha. Now let's go out there!" Cindy said, took Ian's hand and ran out the door with him.
"Do you even have the slightest idea where to find a hotel here?" Ian asked while being pulled as the cold rain poured on both of them.
"It's a big city. There's loads. And I have a general idea where one is. I think. Come on."
"Why is she like this?" Ian wondered while listening to Cindy's drunken giggling and being dragged.
"Come ooooooon. Keep up with me, Baby. I remember where to go from here because of the last time!" Cindy begged.
"The last time?"
"Story for a different time."
They ran past the same bus stop where Lloyd waited. Cindy giggled so loud while running that Lloyd turned around and saw her and Ian running past the stop. Ian gave him a salute when passing and then focused on the hand dragging him again.
"Hope the dude isn't jealous that I have someone and he doesn't." Ian thought but didn't think about it for too long.
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Ian opened his eyes and couldn't recognise the room he was in, nor could he remember how he ended up there. He looked around and saw that he was in a room much nicer than his own. This one even had curtains, a polished floor and a big bed with cleaned sheets. Another thing he saw while looking around was Cindy passed out on his lap in a way where they make cross shape on the bed that they were laying on.
"Thank fuck it's just her. And thank fuck I have my trousers on. What did we do last night? We left the club and then we went somewhere. We went to a pub, I think. I remember us leaning on the counter and chugging down pints while we were just looking at each other and she had a laughing fit every couple of minutes. But when did we come here? I assume it's a hotel. And I hope she's the one who paid for it. I don't even want to guess how much this room costs. It's nice though." Ian thought while laying there and looking around.
Ian reached his hand into his pocket and felt a slight panic when he couldn't find his phone there. Two seconds later he felt relief when he saw his phone on the nightstand next to him. He took it and checked whether he had gotten any new messages. He had not. He opened Lloyd's contact and saw that he still has been offline since Ian's last message to him. Ian sent him a new message anyway asking if he made it home with no trouble.
"Who are you texting there, Baby?" Cindy said while yawning and keeping her cheek on Ian's lap.
"The friend who was supposed to have that gig. Still appearing offline. I hope he made it home alright." Ian answered.
"I'm sure he did. He seemed like a smart dude."
"Did you even meet him?"
"No, but I'm sure anyway."
"Hmph. Anyway, did you book this room?"
"Yep."
"Couldn't find a more modest one?"
"Honestly, I didn't really care at that moment."
"Do you remember the process of us getting here?"
"Clear as day, Baby."
"I don't."
"Because you have a weak head."
"I guess. What day is it again?"
"Sunday, I think. But also, we're in the same town where the office is. We can get you the boxing license while we're here."
"What do I need to apply for it? And can't I just do it online?"
"You'll need to do a physical examination and all kinds of disease testing and what have you. You'll have to do a sparring round so they can see how fit you are for fighting."
"You've been doing research, haven't you?"
"A bit."
"I think I'm in pretty good shape and I shouldn't have any diseases either."
"Did you bring your ID?"
"Of course I did. I didn't think they'd let me in the club without it."
"They did you let into that one place where we got drunk."
"That was unexpected."
"Okay, so you have your identification. What else could you need? Let's just go then."
"Something tells me that I'll need more than just my ID. Like proof of prior experience."
"Weren't you part of some kind of a team? I'm sure they'll find your info in the database."
"I guess."
"Great. We'll get going when we're ready."
"And when will we be ready?"
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After a hefty breakfast and other things, Ian and Cindy had made it out of the hotel with all their belongings. It was a sunny noon in the city that was only familiar to one of them. After some amount of wandering, they found Cindy's car and they keys were still fortunately in the same pocket where Cindy left them. They got in the car feeling hungover but not caring about it. Cindy got on the wheel anyway and Ian read the instructions from the navigation app.
"Convenient that the commission's office is in the same city where your friend's gig was. Makes our day easier." Cindy commented after making it to the parking lot of the office after a quiet ride where all noise bothered her.
Ian had kept respectfully quiet, himself also not enjoying noises.
"Yeah." was the only comment he made and got out of the car.
He went in the office while Cindy waited in the car. Looking from outside, the office building was not very special looking and from the inside even less so. It was part of a larger building with many different companies operating in their own offices on different floors of the building. Ian found the office he was looking for and fortunately for him, it was open even on a Sunday. He went inside and took the first seat he could find. As soon as he sat on it, he closed his eyes and stopped paying attention to this surroundings.
Some time later he felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. He opened his eyes and saw an unknown gray haired man who then took his hand off Ian's shoulder.
"What might be your business here?" The man asked.
"Huh? Oh. Right. I uhh... The license. Yeah. The license. I need a boxing license." Ian explained.
The gray haired man looked unconvinced.
"You?" He said.
"Yeah. Me. Who else? So like... do I need like medical papers or something?" Ian asked.
"If you have any medical conditions, then you would need them."
"Well, I don't." Ian said.
The man still looked unconvinced.
"Get yourself into a basic medical exam and come back with the results." The man told Ian.
"That's it?"
"Well, not entirely, but it's the first step."
"Alright then. Thanks. I'll do that." Ian said and stood up.
He returned to the car where Cindy had her forehead on the steering wheel. Ian sat down on the passenger's seat and leaned his head on the neck rest.
"I need to get a medical exam, just like you told me." Ian said.
"I figured. I'll book a private." Cindy said back in her hungover voice.
"You don't need to do that."
"Eh. Waiting sucks."
"Do as you wish."
"Can you give me my phone, Baby?"
"Where is it?"
"In my pocket."
"Can't you take it yourself?"
"I don't want to."
"Fine." Ian said and dug the phone out of Cindy pocket.
He handed the phone to her. She took and started tapping into it.
"Done." Cindy said and stopped tapping.
"That was quick." Ian commented.
"I book visits more often than you think."
"Why?"
"Don't worry about that. Your visit is tomorrow."
"Don't tell me you gave them your own information. They'd be expecting you to show up instead of me."
"I know your personal information."
"You do?"
"Ha. Yeah. So I gave them yours."
"You sure it's the correct information?"
"I'm confident."
"Maybe I should have just booked it myself. Embarrassing to have you do everything for me."
"I don't mind it."
"Fair. Want to return home?"
"No. Driving sucks."
"Did you return the key to the hotel room?"
"I did."
"Well then."
"Mind if I take a nap here, Baby?" Cindy asked.
"Go ahead. I'll do the same." Ian answered.
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At three o'clock in the morning Ian woke up in the car that was now moving along a dim highway.
"What time is it?" Ian asked Cindy who was driving.
"The radio says it's 3 AM." Cindy answered.
" Damn. I slept all day. Why are we moving?"
"Your examination is at 5."
"What? Why so early?"
"It was the best available time."
"Really?"
"I'm telling the truth."
"Not like I'm tired anyway."
"Exactly."
And so at five in the morning at the parking lot of a medical centre, Ian got out of the car again and went to sit at the reception. Nobody else was there. Just an empty waiting area where the only sound was the ticking of the wall clock. There was a stack of magazines next to Ian. None of them seemed interesting. A few minutes later, his name was called, so he stood up. A doctor invited him to an office, so he entered the boring looking office and showed his ID. He was asked to sit down, and so he did.
"So you came here for a basic examination?" The doctor asked.
"That's right." Ian answered.
"In that case, let's start with your vision." The doctor said.
The doctor gave Ian a basic vision test, which he passed, and after that, the doctor gave Ian an eye patch.
"Now let's see how good your vision is with one eye. Look at the board with the eye patch on and tell me what letters you see." The doctor ordered.
Ian put the eye patch on his left eye and read all the progressively shrinking letters correctly. After that, he was asked to put the patch on his right eye, and he did exactly that. He was ordered to read all the progressively shrinking letters on a different board, it wasn't as easy.
"Why are they so blurry now? Can't see shit. Don't tell me this is the thing that costs me my dream." Ian thought in his head with great worry.
"Fuck it. Let's just guess them." He then thought and said out loud all his answers.
During the eye exam, the doctor had been writing on a note. After the eye exam, the doctor read the notes.
"With both eyes, you scored 55 out of 60. With your left eye, you scored 60 out of 60. But with your right eye, you only scored 4 out of 60. With these results, you're classified as visually impaired and can't work certain jobs or participate in most sports. Sorry to tell you."
"What? Can't I just wear glasses or something?" Ian bargained.
"I'm afraid a vision this bad can't be repaired with lenses." The doctor insisted.
"You can't be serious! Fuck!" Ian shouted and got up from his chair.
He kicked the chair, kicked the door and walked out of the office, kicking a rubbish bin along the way. He walked angrily out of the building and cursed everything in his mind and got back on the passenger seat and just stayed quiet and and raging inside.
"What's the matter, Baby? Did it not go well?" Cindy asked when she saw how angry Ian seemed.
"Apparently my vision isn't good enough. My right eye is fucking shit!" Ian answered.
"Oh. How bad?" Cindy asked with worry.
"I can barely make out anything with it!"
"And you only notice it now?"
"With both of my eyes I can see fine enough, but with just my right eye not so well. I had been noticing it a bit lately but I didn't think it was anything to worry about. Fuck."
"So how will this affect your dreams?"
"I don't think I'll get that license."
"Oh no. That sucks."
"So what do I do now? Honestly what the fuck do I do now?"
"I don't know, Baby. Maybe really put effort into your studies. You haven't completely fumbled it there yet, have you?" Cindy suggested.
Ian smashed his forehead on the dashboard and kept it there. He let out a deep sigh.
"Guess I could." He said.
Cindy leaned over and gave Ian a side hug. Both stayed quiet. It didn't comfort Ian one bit. The bitterness inside was intense, and bad ideas were flooding his mind.
"Tomorrow is a new start and whatever happens, I've got you." Cindy reassured but Ian didn't listen.
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Monday morning was a new day. Not necessarily a better one, but new. Too early to tell. Ian had gotten dressed in his uniform and gotten on the road after packing his rucksack with all the books and his lunch banana. As he was walking his way down the road leading to the town, he remembered one of the reasons he hates the university when he heard the sound of a familiar engine coming from behind. Just like usual, the car slowed down when it was right by Ian and inside William rolled the window down.
"Your girlfriend no longer giving you rides? Aww. Did she find a real man?" William snarkily taunted from inside the car.
"She doesn't ride me to places to save her energy for when she rides my..." Ian was saying back.
"Alright, I am not even letting you finish that one. You are disgusting. Speed up, driver." William interrupted with and then rolled his window up as the car sped up and drove away.
Ian was left there chuckling at his own joke alone as he continued his walk.
At the university building Ian had no memory where his class is, so he just followed the familiar people to where they were going. He sat down on a bench near the classroom and noticed that William's gang had nobody to bully.
"Lloyd is always here before I am but he's not here now. Did his trip home go safely after all?" Ian wondered when he couldn't see Lloyd near the class.
And it looked like Ian wasn't the only one who noticed Lloyd's absence, as William and his gang approached him and William sat next to him.
"Where is that little runt that you babysit? Did he finally have enough and quit because you couldn't protect the helpless bitch enough? How sad?" William said with a fist on his chin and a smirk on his mouth
"Whatever is going on with him is none of our business." Ian simply said back.
"Oh, you don't even care about him anymore? And I almost thought that on some level you might actually care about someone in this world." William said.
Ian had nothing to say back and just stood up to watch over William.
"If you're behind this, I will break your fucking face and make your bitches watch." Ian threatened.
William's gang got closer to Ian and tried to act menacing. William himself didn't look one bit worried.
"Are you implying that I would be behind this? I will not allow you to besmirch my honour this way. You ought to apologise for that." William said in an exaggerated voice.
Before Ian could do something that he would regret, the sound of the class' professor clearing his throat got the attention of everybody and so everybody behaved themselves. The professor unlocked the classroom door and students flooded in. William patted Ian's shoulder and gave him a smirk and then went into the classroom with the rest of them. Ian stayed outside the class for a little more and sent another message to Lloyd asking him if he's alright. After that, Ian also went into the classroom. He sat down where he always did and cleared his mind.
"My dreams went up in smoke. This is all I have now. Got to give it my best. This is what my future depends on now." Ian thought and paid attention all throughout the lesson, taking notes on everything important.
All throughout the day, he found it hard to read anything when using his right eye only. He kept testing if the vision on his eye had magically gotten better, but it hadn't. And all throughout the day he kept being bothered by the bright lights of the classrooms hurting his eye. After the last lesson, Ian hurried out of the bright hallways and went outside where the gray clouds covered the sun.
"How am I supposed to survive here when just being in the fucking building is just pure suffering? Why does everything feel like it wants to make my life harder? Fuck." Ian said to himself in an isolated spot in the university's parking lot.
He stood there for a moment, letting the wind blow in his face while thinking about his situation.
"I know one lonely dark place where my life doesn't suck." He then said and made his way to a certain direction after stuffing the jacket of his uniform into his rucksack.
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At Jacob's house, Ian stepped up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He waited and after two minutes, the door was opened by the resident of the house.
"You again. Came to train again for free in my garage?" Jacob asked grumpily.
"That's right." Ian answered like it was nothing.
"Fine. Just don't make too much noise. I'm a bit busy here." Jacob demanded.
Ian noticed that Jacob had a pill bottle and a rum bottle in his hands.
"Fine. I'll keep quiet. Just get the garage door open, would you?" Ian requested.
Jacob reached over to his coat rack and took his car keys from it. He pressed a button and made the garage door open. He then closed the front door and went back to doing what he was doing.
"Cheers." Ian said and went in the garage and then closed the garage door once inside.
The heavy bag who never harmed anybody got the privilege of getting absolutely violated by Ian's fists and even feet. Beating the sack was the only thing Ian wanted to think about for those 20 minutes that he assaulted it. He didn't want to think about the university, his future, his dreams, the people around him, or anything else. Just his bare knuckles getting bruised from the beating. After he had exhausted himself and was holding his palms on his knees while panting, thoughts came back to his head.
"This is what I want to do. But I can't because life sucks. All I can do is beat on this sack who doesn't fight back. That's not the real thing but what can I do?" Is what Ian thought.
He sat down on the bench where he lifts. One he started lifting, he also thought some more.
"Just because I can't fight sanctioned fights, doesn't mean I can't fight at the factory. I can make money there and I need to fight. I want to fight. Not fucking study and work some desk job that I'll hate. I'll fight at the factory until I'm undeniable." Ian thought while lifting.
He kept those thoughts constant all throughout his session, not once thinking about any people in his life. The first thing that reminded him that other people exist was when he heard loud and violent coughing coming from the house. He raised his head and looked into the direction where the sound came from. He put the weight down and left the garage, entering the house proper. In the living room Jacob was still coughing on his armchair with his bottles on a stand next to him.
"You alright, mate?" Ian asked with concern.
It took a while for Jacob to stop coughing but eventually he did.
"Fuck off, kid. I'm fine." Jacob said from his armchair and tossed a glass bottle at Ian who ducked.
"I don't think you're alright, mate." Ian said back.
Jacob coughed.
"You bloody think so? Do I bloody look fine? When was the last time I was bloody fine?" Jacob complained in his intoxicated voice.
Ian took the nearest chair he saw and put it closer to the armrest and then sat down on it.
"Maybe you'd be finer without all of that." Ian said and pointed at the bottle of pills on the nightstand.
"Mate, I need those. Without that poison I'll feel like dying. More so than usual. Doctors ordered me to take those to help with my pain, but now they don't work at all anymore. They just make the pain worse if I stop taking them. Fucking poison. Those bloody whitecoated wankers tricked me into getting hooked on this poison and it's too bloody late now." Jacob explained bitterly.
Ian listened and thought what to say for a bit.
"So you've tried quitting them?" He asked.
"Many many times, mate. And I always feel like killing myself to end the pain when I quit them. I'm stuck with them." Jacob answered.
Ian stayed quiet and listened. Jacob coughed.
"You don't want to be like me. Or become like me. Don't be like me, mate." Jacob said quietly.
"What do you mean by that?" Ian asked.
"The money, the glory, the thrill of the fight. All nice things. Not worth it, mate. Look at me now. Do I look like a world champion?" Jacob asked.
Ian stayed quiet for a bit.
"So you regret a lot?" Ian asked a stupid question.
"Mate, I regret everything. Don't be like me. That's all I can say myself."
"What do you mean by that? Like you?"
"I suppose I can't expect the younger generation to know me that well. Do you know what I was known for?"
"You just... won a lot?"
"Ha! I won a lot, that is true. But it's just how much I won. It's about how I won." Jacob said.
Ian stayed quiet and listened.
"I was the iron bloody ox. I would keep going no matter what. Nothing kept me down. I took some beatings by opponents who were much better than me, but I'd always get up from the canvas. That's what I was known for. Not once in my career, not even bloody once, I lost by knockout or TKO. I'd always get up and if I was outclassed, I'd lose by points. I had a hard head, see?" Jacob explained.
"Yeah, you told earlier. Sounds badass." Ian commented.
"That's one word for it. I don't really feel "badass" now."
"Did doctors ever tell you to stop fighting?"
"No, because I had ways of cheating the medical examinations. Once they caught me, they told me to stop fighting, and so I did. I had already made my money. I don't need to work a day in my life anymore. Happy life, haha. So happy."
"Fuck them doctors. You ignored them and went on to achieve greatness."
"I suppose if that's your takeaway from that."
"You know what, old man? You're an inspiration. Cheers." Ian said and stood up proudly.
Jacob looked at Ian like he couldn't understand what the young man was thinking, and then popped another pill. Ian walked out of the house full of confidence and knew exactly where he was going. He was going to the factory, and he wanted to get there quickly.
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