Another disclaimer: this is the worst part of the incident and the part that traumatized me. It's also gross (I won't be too detailed), violent, and, naturally, humiliating. So if you decide to read it, keep that in mind. Also, remember that if this still bothered me (like it did for a long time), I wouldn't write about it now. In other words, don't feel bad.
The smaller boy stepped aside, and the larger one grabbed my ankles and pulled me off the toilet with a jerk, banging my head on the bowl. He dragged me out of the stall and into the otherwise empty bathroom.
I was stunned by the blow to my head and the cruelty of what had happened. Remember, I still had my pants down—and my stomach was still insanely out of control. In other words, I was a shitty mess, and so was the floor. Only then they left me alone. To this day, I wonder what kind of messed up thinking two kids have that let them believe this was okay to do to someone, even someone they hated.
I was alone. I pulled up my pants, but the damage was done, and it would be impossible to return to class in my ruined clothes. So I got out of there, down the hall, and out of the building before the period was over, somehow (a miracle) got off campus without being seen, and ran home in my stained, gross clothes, where I took a shower for two hours.
I never told anyone, and the animals that did it to me never told anyone, but the trauma stuck. For years, if any kid confronted me for any reason, I couldn't bear to look them in the eye. They knew I was scared.
And I was.
A couple of final notes: First, feel free to ask me ANYTHING you want about this. For me, sharing this is strength.
Second, as I said before, this is in the past; otherwise, I wouldn't post it here. It took me years to understand and deal with it, but I'm okay now.
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