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"It is said that in the final moments of one's life, they will revisit and see the entirety of their life's events. You will experience everything again. It is also said that time slows down in one's final breaths. What if this moment is the point at which you return to the events of your life?"
You stand up and start pacing around the room, trying to make sense of it all. You can't shake the feeling that something is off, that this world is not quite right. You try to focus on the familiar things around you, the books on the shelves, the photo of your family on the desk, but they seem distant and hazy, as if seen through a veil.
You stop in front of the mirror and stare at your reflection, searching for some sign of familiarity, but the face looking back seems to be blurry. You run your fingers over your features, trying to anchor yourself in this reality, but the doubts linger.
You sit back down on the bed and bury your face in the book that you are reading, feeling a sense of despair wash over you. What if this is not a dream, but something far more sinister? What if this is not your life, but someone else's, and you are just an observer trapped in their memories? The thought makes you dizzy, and you lay back on the bed, feeling a wave of nausea wash over you.
You threw the book in your hand, feeling frustrated with the thoughts that it brought to your mind. It had been a few days since you and your brother were involved in a car accident. You had taken the car without permission and convinced your younger brother, Ardie, to come with you. Now, as you sat in your bedroom, you couldn't help but worry about whether Ardie would survive. If only you could switch places with him, you would do it in a heartbeat. The guilt weighed heavily on you as you thought about the consequences of your actions.
You tried calming yourself by focusing on your surroundings. The sound of the crickets outside filled your ears, a familiar and soothing noise. But as you listened more closely, the chirping began to sound like a ringing, a painful ringing that reminded you of the hospital. It was like small voices talking to you, reminding you of the constant beeping of machines and the fear of someone's impending death. You stood up, unable to take the noise any longer, and slammed the window shut to block out the sound. Why have you been thinking about death so much these past few days?
You stood up from your bedroom and declared, "Ardie won't die." You are trying to convince yourself that everything will be all right. You walked to the living room, hoping to distract yourself and relieve some of your anxieties. You sat on the sofa and turned on the television, trying to focus your attention on something other than your thoughts. But every so often, your mind would wander back to
Ardie and the guilt and fear would wash over you again. You couldn't shake the feeling that it was your fault, that you were the one who had made the wrong decision and caused the accident. You tried to push the thoughts away and focus on the television, but they kept creeping back.
You were the one driving the car that night, and you couldn't help but wonder if you had made a wrong turn or a mistake that led to the accident. You clenched your fists, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. You just wanted Ardie to be okay, and you couldn't bear the thought of losing your brother.
You knew it was your fault that Ardie was in the hospital, fighting for his life. You couldn't shake the image of his pale face, the beeping of the machines, the doctors and nurses rushing around. It was all your fault.
As you sat on your sofa, you heard the sound of a vehicle stopping outside your house. You rushed to the window to see who it was and saw your mother getting out of a taxi. You immediately turned off the TV and ran back to your bedroom, not wanting to face anyone right now.
You were overwhelmed with guilt and shame for causing the car accident that had landed your younger brother in the hospital. But as you heard the front door opening and your father's voice, you knew you couldn't hide forever. You braced yourself for their reactions, but the shock of hearing your brother's voice as well was almost too much to bear.
Despite the relief you should have felt knowing he was out of the hospital, you couldn't bring yourself to feel truly happy about it, not when it was your fault he had been there in the first place.
Then, a moment later, you heard something being dragged across the floor upstairs. You couldn't resist the urge to find out what was going on, so you stood up and tiptoed to the door, peering through the peephole. Your heart ached as you watched your father struggle to lift Ardie, while your mother pulled the wheelchair upstairs. You knew you should go help, but you couldn't bring yourself to face them, not yet.
You felt a weight on your chest as you watched the scene unfold. Guilt and shame washed over you as you realized that it was all your fault. If you had just listened to your father and stayed home, none of this would have happened. You made a rash decision to take the car out for a joyride, and now your brother was paying the price.
You sat in front of your bedroom door, hugging your knees and burying your face in your arms. You couldn't bear the thought of facing your family and seeing the disappointment and anger in their eyes. You knew you had made a grave mistake and you couldn't forgive yourself for it.
You couldn't hold in your frustration any longer and punched the door with all your might. You couldn't believe that you were the cause of your brother's injury and it was all because of your recklessness. Tears streamed down your face as you collapsed to the ground, feeling overwhelmed with guilt and shame. Just as you were about to succumb to your emotions, you heard your mother's voice calling your name softly. "It's time to stop all this and just rest. We are not blaming you," she said, her voice filled with love and concern.
You sat at the front door, listening as your parents entered your brother's room. You wanted to see him, but you were too ashamed of what you had done.
After a while, you heard your parents enter their own room, and you knew that this was the perfect opportunity to go and see Ardie and ask for forgiveness.
You gathered all of your courage and stood up, knowing that it would be even more shameful not to ask for forgiveness. If Ardie was going to curse you, beat you, or hate you, you deserved it. You had to accept whatever punishment he would give you.
You quietly walked to his room and gently turned the knob, opening the door to reveal Ardie lying in his bed, his small frame looking pitiful and weak, almost his entire body bound in plaster and a neck and leg brace. The sight of your sin was too much to bear, and you fell to your knees, sobbing uncontrollably.
Despite your guilt, you couldn't resist the urge to touch his face, tears streaming down your cheeks as you whispered your apologies. You couldn't even understand the words coming out of your mouth, your grief overwhelming you.
Suddenly, your brother woke up and let out a scream of terror. "Mom! Dad! Help! He's in here!" he called out, his voice filled with fear.
You froze, unsure of what to do. You knew you needed to explain yourself, to make your brother understand that you didn't mean for any of this to happen. But the words wouldn't come, and you stood there helplessly as your brother's cries for help echoed through the room.
"I'm so sorry, Ardie," you said, tears streaming down your face as you knelt beside your brother's bed. "I never meant for this to happen. It's all my fault, I should have never taken the car without permission."
Your parents rushed to your brother, watching the scene with heavy hearts.
"Ma, he's here," your brother said filled with terror.
"Son it is time for you to rest. We are not blaming you. Let your soul rest. We will be fine knowing that you are at peace on the other side,"
Realization struck you upon hearing your mother's words.
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