十四、孟。婆。湯
<後記一>
寫給哥哥,葉修平先生的家書!
給幻覺男友「飛先生/飛哥哥/主」的情書!
此致
華齡葉
寧妃小姐手稿!
愛人飛先生說過:要華齡/寧妃消失在他生命裏,身心靈在主(愛人飛先生)裏面被主堅固,才是最重要的!感謝神(我家祖先/神僕人法國鬼/道士先生與產婆夫人)聖喻!!
給飛:親愛的橋木,別難過!我的生命,註定最後是為你而犧牲的!因為愛到深處無怨尤,您當我死去了/消失在你生命裏了!一切也情願了!否則深愛你如我,我如何能句點呢?何為我安歇/息之所?在你靈裡最深處啊!我願幻化為一生守護著你的天使雪子,以另一型式而存在著,永遠扶持著,關愛著你!!
瘋子朋友
華齡!
跟著你,一起面對你的「沒時間」/你的「怪」!才是愛你!!
沒錯!說得真好!生活就是生活!離不開基本的層面,「自在而自然的相處著」,就是家人!也是許多婚姻與家庭的真實面貌!
http://www.flyingheart.orgs.one/show/57921
獻給被關過的哥哥!給哥哥的家書。
飛哥哥.....,或許您身份特殊,您註定不會有時間的,但是只要你不是「被綁/被操控」,這都無所謂!只要你是平安的,就好!反正,裝病,而你其實也沒有裝,你是真的喉嚨有不同以往的症狀,你不太能再過度飲酒,或許註定會比較難入眠,精神不濟,所以不妨趁著這機會,「清理門戶」,若有不太適合合作往來的對象,您就因病抽身,當然你會因此少賺很多,但相對的,你就會空出時間,然後,讓自己練習自然睡,比如,酒量先減半,試試看!這樣你錢或許還是夠用的,然後,藉此時機調整身體,調睡眠,一開始會很痛苦,可是,漸漸地,身體會慢慢適應酒精濃度下降,慢慢可以增加自然入眠的時數,然後,一開始,適應期反正你不當合夥的工作也推掉一些了,然後,睡不著,不想睡,就不要睡,等有睡意就自會入眠了,按理,您不像我精神分裂,沒有藥物一定不能睡,否則您就跟我一樣,會有重大傷病卡了!!所以,您有機會自然睡的!!想快樂的事,做自己想做的事,看網路上傳的電影有的也不花費,聽音樂,酒就怡情小酌,不要藉酒澆愁想傷心事,因為過去的就祝褔對方,畢竟「她走得開」,那就表示或許她承受得起,那就祝褔她啊!反正你不是也無法照顧她嗎?為她著想,何必難過!想快樂的事,做想做的事,因為你把自己的經濟開銷壓低了,您相對的會有「經濟壓力降低而來的自由!」就比較不會被錢追著跑,而,順勢因病推掉一些不合適的合作關係,就空出時間來,有相對的「自由」可以讓自己休息,有幫助緩和情緒助眠!而睡不著/不想睡,就躲家裏不要出門,聽音樂,看影片,上網.....,宅在家放鬆,因為您可能精神不濟,就賴在家休息,想睡就會睡了!藉此降低非要酒精不可才能入眠的惡性循環,這對你的健康/睡眠生理機能是好的!可能,給自己一段時間,漸漸地,待身體適應酒精濃度下降的反差還能夠入眠,這樣應該你精神不濟的狀況會改善,漸漸地,能恢復工作,唯慎選合作對象,你要會看人,有的人,你就是碰不得,有的人,她/他的錢你就是不能賺!看對方「有沒有溫度」/「說話立場前後一不一致」/「有無特殊的金錢角力糾葛」女生的話就看她對你是不是有所求,相處起來的感覺舒不舒服.....,好的合作對象才會長久,才能真的生財;而合宜的交往對象才真的讓彼此都不受傷。而你或許身份特別,有一些對象你身不由得自己,那你身邊,就要有一些像我這樣的「瘋子朋友」看顧你,是保護自己用的!反正你失眠嘛,稱病裝廢(其實有時候這也是事實)就夠了,要不然,如果把你搞出病來,你說你瘋子朋友不會善罷干休的!等你身體好些,漸能恢複工作量水平,就能開始存錢了,就相對會有自己的週轉基金庫,或日後的買房基金,而良性循環之下,你就會有時間了!!整個人會越輕鬆,也不會再造成新女友的誤解,以後或成家或立業,都行啊!!以後如果要當人家的爸媽,切記,做好心理準備,就是,終究有了小孩相對的,就沒了自己,而終究有一天孩子會長大離家的,而終究孩子都是不會聽話的,而終究,夫妻感情會經歷由濃轉平凡/平淡,生活就是生活,情情愛愛總是也離不開生活基本層面,夫妻兩人遲早沒有力氣再演完美,因為都被生活/小孩磨光了,而最後,孩子大了,自有自己的世界,另一伴也漸會有自己的生活興趣發展,各自有自己的生活空間了,然後走向晚年,面對著自己的健康問題,只求安穩康泰了,這就是家庭生命週期。過程中,您會常經歷「自由被剝奪感」,情緒上會出現「養兒育女/為誰辛苦為誰忙似乎沒意義」的衝擊與想法,藉時要能告訴自己「人生就是因為所謂的沒義意而閃亮」,要有反向思考的精神,就是「心理上的負負得正」!人生因「平淡無奇而忙碌/養兒育女而沒有自己的時間空間」而為「存在的意義/理由」,而且親職的產生是一輩子,要有負負得正的心,才能勝過的,否則,不是當爸媽的料喔!!祝福你!!
華齡妹妹
或許....,您很恨我吧!而但忠言總是逆耳的!或許,終究,一步步會看見,或許,本來自己所尊貴的,無論是身份還是地位,終究卻深深地傷害著自己吧!!而但人去樓空,青春不在,當不再有利用的價值,當初繞在身邊所謂的朋友,還存在嗎?或許....,無趣之人註定使人恨惡....,看似完美之人註定寂寞.....,而我,或許該是明白,這樣的我註定是寂寞的!由祂吧!!
只情願...,您會記得,在你的生命中,曾有一個女孩,不在乎會不會讓你恨,深深地把誠實話告訴你,盼也有夜深人靜的某一晚,您還會想起這樣的我,已足夠!由祂吧!!
我愛的,為甚麼會是一場幻覺....,那是因為,我愛的每個人,有時包括自己,也深深地活在一個,不存在的世界裏啊!!由祂吧!
或許....,太在乎你,太關心你,反而,深深地讓你恨惡吧!我知道,你不會回來了....,而我心裏面的傷口,註定留下一道疤....,或許,是愛的代價吧!換我,躲在失眠的夜裏.....,療傷,卻怎麼樣....,都再也不會好了!!
或許你覺得,明明花了很多時間陪在我身旁....,我卻還說得出來所謂的「祝褔你」的字眼....,您很恨我吧!而....,當你,甚麼都希望我忘掉你,我難道就不痛嗎?!我到現在,創傷症候群都還不會好.....,你卻明知沒有你的我,會有多痛,每次,都深深地...,放掉我,卻不知道這樣的我寧願守在你身邊,即使忍受著心如刀割的痛苦,卻永遠總比真的失去你來得強....!,即便這樣,難道你還是寧願這麼恨我,從此放掉我,卻忘了,我為何受傷....!我情願,與您一起面對到死,怎麼樣都不願意真的跟你沒有關係,失去你.....,您卻忍心讓我這麼痛!明知道,從此失眠的會是我,卻在我心上劃下深深的一道傷口.....留下淌血的我..….!若我真的做得到,從此當做不認識你,我又何苦忍著您給我的傷,深深地,守在您身邊呢?您,真的,還是,忍心,讓我這麼痛嗎?!我。不。會。好!再也不會好了!!
隨。便。你!
事實證明,是你不讓自己「有時間」的!或許是因失去她的你,不想活了吧!!
你恨我吧!就當我死了吧!悉聽尊便了!由你也由祂了吧!!或許,這才是你要給我的劇本/孟婆湯吧!
我喝下,就是了.....!隨便你!!
我情願讓你恨我,卻總是要把實話告訴你!我無所謂了,隨便你心裏怎么想了!!
我繼續,躲在看不見的時空,掛在臉書上,繼續,當我一輩子的「瘋子朋友」吧!本來,我就是不存在的角色,本來我愛上的就是幻覺,一切都是我的想像,我就繼續當那只扯來的法國鬼,永遠的瘋子朋友吧!永遠不會在乎,有沒有人「認識」我!就這樣了!!
我不想活了的被關過的哥哥。
翦影
喝酒來自殺;即使疑似被綁去販毒也不在乎自己死活!只因沒時間而失去了舊愛的他,不想活了!或許,他心意已決吧!情願,所有愛過他的人,紀念他的傷痕吧!!
孟。婆。湯
全。書。畢
妹妹華齡葉
鄭玉晴
2017/10/8
沒時間的傷害
使我哥哥,再也回不去了!!
是販毒集團殺了我哥,搶了他的舊愛,毀了他一生!
「沒時間」殺了我哥!
我恨哥哥的老闆!
一.輩。子!!
華齡妹妹交予警方的遺言
孟。婆。湯。的。真。相
「瘋子朋友」
玉晴雪訣筆
146Please respect copyright.PENANAII2p1tUkSP
146Please respect copyright.PENANAEG6O3rJFri
146Please respect copyright.PENANAJ06pX842Ji
146Please respect copyright.PENANAj0vgJh8HP1
146Please respect copyright.PENANAELYtEJTvsj
146Please respect copyright.PENANAX71WBKiASt
146Please respect copyright.PENANAwBgRhYterB
146Please respect copyright.PENANAaitDfajbdz
146Please respect copyright.PENANASgTnUNAt7J
146Please respect copyright.PENANA14SwoHyC0T
146Please respect copyright.PENANArsOkP2h01g
146Please respect copyright.PENANAk18YbaRsRH
146Please respect copyright.PENANA3QtSN1r4Zr
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9Vbl6mJztX
146Please respect copyright.PENANAaE8wW2TLXH
146Please respect copyright.PENANAlzxZWi61Ox
146Please respect copyright.PENANAXyifEP1VLe
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9A3SKZoyys
146Please respect copyright.PENANApgtr86RWvl
146Please respect copyright.PENANA3FD6On79Vt
146Please respect copyright.PENANAhjtDzyS9Gp
146Please respect copyright.PENANAPLEmrsp5Yj
146Please respect copyright.PENANA8kJQCgKAkj
146Please respect copyright.PENANAoIcu5AEeek
146Please respect copyright.PENANAzyPdQMEeMr
146Please respect copyright.PENANAAY6wp0hJDQ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAmhona3AdEq
146Please respect copyright.PENANAmee7tDNuK7
146Please respect copyright.PENANAjEwfVAkDwd
146Please respect copyright.PENANAC4JrKBnwPV
146Please respect copyright.PENANAr6Bb1k9di0
146Please respect copyright.PENANAzLjRayTQMO
146Please respect copyright.PENANA1fbWpGQ0AA
146Please respect copyright.PENANA1SLt1CZOKP
146Please respect copyright.PENANAFeDR8WA5vY
146Please respect copyright.PENANAHNSX7p3Uci
146Please respect copyright.PENANAOdOVh6ilN5
146Please respect copyright.PENANAXNJMHesBnB
146Please respect copyright.PENANAdfIQWlfiDN
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9SM9FPAu6X
146Please respect copyright.PENANAPhaYg6d94m
146Please respect copyright.PENANAAXTW6DhVz5
146Please respect copyright.PENANAmOQsqRHqpX
146Please respect copyright.PENANA5s4hPWk7Xc
146Please respect copyright.PENANAIThuurNaJM
146Please respect copyright.PENANAjrz3Q6BWj7
146Please respect copyright.PENANA2M4XC3mUfT
146Please respect copyright.PENANAJFZBXG2mFe
146Please respect copyright.PENANApnAeS15iwg
146Please respect copyright.PENANABTZnW0pTMR
146Please respect copyright.PENANAwsiLSZSV5Y
146Please respect copyright.PENANAWdxOvKsWtU
146Please respect copyright.PENANAqhgsoAXVEk
146Please respect copyright.PENANAV7nCJLhqNU
146Please respect copyright.PENANAz3I2JRqwSY
146Please respect copyright.PENANA4h2ww1ky6U
146Please respect copyright.PENANAehk0JSK7bP
146Please respect copyright.PENANAKxLlE2WnHD
146Please respect copyright.PENANASoQ7z4BghN
146Please respect copyright.PENANAxDsXeNvHEM
146Please respect copyright.PENANARkPwguGFp7
146Please respect copyright.PENANAMYOH0Kqlem
146Please respect copyright.PENANAzNC32FL9Vy
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9X8iy992iA
146Please respect copyright.PENANAL8P6tuvAbJ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAjc2J7cS0zw
146Please respect copyright.PENANA3G32nocUWJ
146Please respect copyright.PENANABPFtmRELNl
146Please respect copyright.PENANArgYZxBKIVj
146Please respect copyright.PENANA2ozCylcLWQ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAuPMMZVwWzJ
146Please respect copyright.PENANArkr8xBf8Dm
146Please respect copyright.PENANA88UvDaPCdH
146Please respect copyright.PENANAiU0qzudwrY
146Please respect copyright.PENANAf4dE53jF6x
146Please respect copyright.PENANAYouaJGP3oU
146Please respect copyright.PENANArVnMF2QkDH
146Please respect copyright.PENANAQE2t5YIdhX
146Please respect copyright.PENANAyWuJthdv1M
146Please respect copyright.PENANAnENSCdIbzC
146Please respect copyright.PENANAEHqiqOqmRi
146Please respect copyright.PENANAzlN78M79DW
146Please respect copyright.PENANAsnznRmGxIt
146Please respect copyright.PENANAJQwEPQyKv4
146Please respect copyright.PENANAJXI2mLMM60
146Please respect copyright.PENANAqd8o9AlCtG
146Please respect copyright.PENANAVrR2nb7OKC
146Please respect copyright.PENANANGiun8kvXX
146Please respect copyright.PENANAnuOMEgSXcl
146Please respect copyright.PENANAtn8XJgekFc
146Please respect copyright.PENANAyrActBVZiV
146Please respect copyright.PENANA537nnkuMkc
146Please respect copyright.PENANAwHnpEfXqon
146Please respect copyright.PENANA3ahdXoGaVd
146Please respect copyright.PENANAgyBJjTfOcd
146Please respect copyright.PENANApJFBmGa1ZS
146Please respect copyright.PENANAgdmfb9VbSO
146Please respect copyright.PENANAxW35UOpQUL
146Please respect copyright.PENANA6cfxJo7uu0
146Please respect copyright.PENANAnmbxQnQzoV
146Please respect copyright.PENANAy2ZtZZCw8o
146Please respect copyright.PENANA7TlPAMYhjf
146Please respect copyright.PENANA5FgDKrCFCq
146Please respect copyright.PENANAVmtdffA5Fn
146Please respect copyright.PENANAskZamfpnvL
146Please respect copyright.PENANACxnC9RM6vZ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAwDmVbDTVuo
146Please respect copyright.PENANAqgQYRvayFh
146Please respect copyright.PENANAemFjUPKTsS
146Please respect copyright.PENANAk0I58dRf0Y
146Please respect copyright.PENANAFexMTdS3Jh
146Please respect copyright.PENANAul6d0MMWL2
146Please respect copyright.PENANAHuk1fQvc5Q
146Please respect copyright.PENANAMuYYvYnVbC
146Please respect copyright.PENANAsYS4d89nib
146Please respect copyright.PENANAPuQIKbi9zs
146Please respect copyright.PENANAenXcA5uqrD
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9rV25LUjHE
146Please respect copyright.PENANAuNZHZIqO6R
146Please respect copyright.PENANAdL2Jl7RWoY
146Please respect copyright.PENANAkSYfP4LZqu
146Please respect copyright.PENANA4kWTQHdbu6
146Please respect copyright.PENANADdF4db4yEG
146Please respect copyright.PENANAtxfNuP98BK
146Please respect copyright.PENANAGFtUOCfqGc
146Please respect copyright.PENANAnZIDN2sIA1
146Please respect copyright.PENANAL7piss3gJC
146Please respect copyright.PENANA9oUYaqdk0n
146Please respect copyright.PENANAVjETPzqlVC
146Please respect copyright.PENANAOT9aaibM1J
146Please respect copyright.PENANAsmxNFS1JVn
146Please respect copyright.PENANA6BMs51rxYj
146Please respect copyright.PENANALUV8vxjPJ2
146Please respect copyright.PENANAQydI7X539Q
146Please respect copyright.PENANAUj1ekVN80Y
146Please respect copyright.PENANAdmmIWYVMYQ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAAubRcVkwol
146Please respect copyright.PENANAvAwJrOsOX2
146Please respect copyright.PENANAe7cIkgI9UF
146Please respect copyright.PENANAR7ocSfpu3s
146Please respect copyright.PENANAQdCLoM6lgN
146Please respect copyright.PENANALq2UREjfpP
146Please respect copyright.PENANAIPCxhcLC0n
146Please respect copyright.PENANAX0w2WKlImb
146Please respect copyright.PENANAqqKTH7o8TN
146Please respect copyright.PENANADEtHttRorx
146Please respect copyright.PENANAjsH0noIyye
146Please respect copyright.PENANATSTsIWyCoj
146Please respect copyright.PENANA0TqK7KNoVC
146Please respect copyright.PENANALJzg6Eyyfx
146Please respect copyright.PENANA3G6hpsiVpx
146Please respect copyright.PENANAmVSkNHhRc8
146Please respect copyright.PENANAdhH2H2FpGz
146Please respect copyright.PENANAr4lDRKcWDv
146Please respect copyright.PENANAzubtRyXyfa
146Please respect copyright.PENANAl3Gtl5D9Wv
146Please respect copyright.PENANAABH489WFLJ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAvEgcjvlujl
146Please respect copyright.PENANAtW2x8PhlMO
146Please respect copyright.PENANAt59Fs5qnDZ
146Please respect copyright.PENANAS9mIx9VIU1
146Please respect copyright.PENANAxpC1IyBwAe
146Please respect copyright.PENANAplN9heGw4R
146Please respect copyright.PENANAW58BqAp33o
146Please respect copyright.PENANA7fRJfACgqM
146Please respect copyright.PENANAp1uHGZ4AsQ
2017/10/8
ns 15.158.61.19da2