So Annie liked another boy. Mutt was everything I was not, so I could understand that Annie liked him a lot. When I thought about it, I could not see any reason why any girl would like me. I will also be honest that I had mixed feelings about Annies relationship with Mutt. I was of course jealous. At the same time, I was happy for Annie. She liked Mutt a lot and they were happy together. Mom told me not to worry as my time would come to find someone to love. She told me that I was still very young even to think about girls. Cameron never thought of girls. Maybe Mom was right. At the same time, Mutt was the same age as me, and he thought about Annie. When all was said and done, Annie was happy, and if she was happy, then I should be happy for her.
There was a choir at the school, so I decided to join it. I loved singing and it was about the only thing that I was good at. I loved this part of the school. I often stood next to Annie when we were singing. Once she told me that I had a good voice. I nearly fainted when I was told this. I was still so shy around Annie, that I stuttered that I also thought that she sang beautifully. This was true! When Annie did a solo in the choir, it was as if we were all in heaven. The choir became my favourite thing in the world. Besides Annie was there, it was a good way to get to know the other pupils. We had fun as we joked and talked with each other. It was also nice that we supported each other and praised each other.
Sarah was the director of the choir. I suppose that being an excellency had its advantages. It was a lot of work for her, and she asked me if I wanted to be a co-director. I do not know why she asked me to help her. Mom said it was because she could see my talent. I suspected it was Sarah's way to keep me occupied so I would not get into trouble. It was strange that she called me a co-director. I was supposed to suggest songs we would sing and help assign solos. However, Sarah had the last word in everything. She often disagreed with me. This was frustrating as I thought myself that I had some brilliant ideas. I think that Sarah was one of those girls who thought a boy could never have good ideas. However, I was just as stubborn as Sarah which meant we argued a lot. You win some and you lose some. At the end of the day, the choir was still a fun thing to participate in.
I still was obsessed with Annie. I accepted that she had a boyfriend, but it did not stop me from caring about her. Once, the priest at the school said something to Annie that nearly made her cry. Everyone was shocked that a priest would say something that would hurt another person. Everyone also noticed that it made Annie so sad. It was hard seeing someone you like being hurt in that way. I was also proud of everyone at the school that supported Annie and said some nice things to her. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I supported her. I was afraid to do this as what if I felt weak in my knees again and made a fool of myself? I found the courage to tell her that the priest was an idiot for saying such hurtful things. This was probably a sin to say something so bad about a priest, but it made Annie smile and say a polite “thank you”. I suppose this was worth the sin.
Because of the choir, I spent a lot of time with Sarah. She still gave me ticks and even told the teachers every time I did something wrong. She was bossy and very opinionated. This made it confusing why I even wanted to be around her. I am sure that she thought the same about me. She loved to remind me of all my shortcomings and she especially loved when she tattled on me. Despite all this, we spent a lot of time together. We would do some fun things together and end up laughing and having fun. We could also be very serious and confided in each other. We knew each other's secrets and deepest feelings. Without knowing it. Sarah was becoming my best friend in the world.
Being so young, I was confused. I liked being with Sarah and thought that under her hard exterior, she was a nice person. I thought maybe she wanted to have me as a boyfriend. When I asked her this, she got annoyed and said that the last thing that she wanted was a boyfriend, especially me. This became my new obsession. It was a challenge that I could not ignore. I started courting Sarah as they did in old Hollywood movies. Every time I did something, Sarah would get mad at me and tell me that she was not interested in boys. The more I tried, the more she said no.
Everyone at the school thought that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This was amusing as it was far from the truth. Sarah was not all interested. She just wanted me to be her good friend. I must admit, that I was unsure about my feelings towards her. I don’t think I fancied her the way that I liked Annie. The chase and trying to get Sarah to like me was fun. It was also funny that it annoyed her when I tried being romantic with her. It helped that her Dad did not like me. He threatened once that he had a shotgun. This did not stop me. Who does not like a good challenge?
Some time went by and the game of getting Sarah interested in me was getting old. Everyone still thought that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but this was not true. We were good friends. It was a love-hate relationship. She loved reminding the teachers when I broke a rule or got into trouble. I loved to annoy her.
Once when I visited her, we went for a walk. There was a cave close to her house. I wanted to explore the cave. Sarah kept on telling me that her mom and dad warned her not to go in the cave. This did not bother me. I explained that the parents said that because they knew that there was something good in the cave. It could be a gold mine. Sarah reluctantly followed me into the cave. We went deeper and deeper and she kept on complaining that we were lost. We argues when I told Sarah that we could find unicorns in the cage. Sarah did not believe that unicorns existed! She would not believe me that they did. This meant that I got annoyed and left Sarah and walked out of the cave.
Later that evening, Sarah's dad came and asked me if I knew where Sarah was as she did not come home. I did my duty as a good citizen and told her Dad that Sarah went into the cave. I forgot to tell him that I also was in the cave. We went to the cave and found Sarah sitting and crying thinking that her life was over. She wasted no time by telling her Dad that it was all my fault. Her Dad gave me a long speech about how a good friend should be. Mom was less forgiving. She grounded me for two weeks. This was torture. At least I had a picture of Annie that I could look at. As for Sarah, she did forgive me. In a way, she thought it was her fault for trusting a boy.
Sarah was not my girlfriend and at times she could be very strange. Once at a school party, Sarah saw me speaking with another girl called Lila. She was a cool girl and always said funny things. Lila knew how to have fun. She was the only girl in school that started to wear make-up. This got her into a lot of trouble. It did not bother me. It inspired me to start wearing mascara and eye shadow. What I did not understand was that Sarah was mad at me for speaking with Lila. I tried asking Sarah what the problem was, but she did not answer. Sometimes girls could be so hard to understand. I bet the wisest man in the world did not understand girls. Mom explained to me that she thought that Sarah was jealous that I was speaking with another girl. I do not even know if this was true. I doubt that Sarah even knew why she was mad.
It seemed as if I always got into trouble when I visited Sarah. Once we were walking around the town. We were laughing and having fun. This was until Sarah saw some chocolate bars in a shop window. She just stood there looking at them. I did not understand this. How fun can it be looking at chocolate? It's more fun to eat them. I was looking at a mail truck that was parked close by. Someone left the keys in it. I do not know what made me do it, but I sat in the truck and started the engine. Before I knew it, I was driving it through town hitting garbage cans and everything else I should not have hit. I could not control the truck. Sarah was running after me yelling to press down on the break. I did not even know where the break was. It ended up that I drove the truck into the river. I managed to avoid drowning and crawled out of the river. Sarah stood there rolling her eyes. I was a bit disappointed she did not say that she was happy that I didn’t drown.
Of course, Sarah told everyone that it was my fault. The police came and questioned me. It seemed as if everyone was more worried about the truck than the fact that I could have died. Mom was very disappointed and asked me why I could not be like Cameron. She told me that I probably would be sent to Juvie. I was grounded until further notice. This time, Mom took all my toys out of my bedroom. She left the picture of Annie. I wondered what Annie thought that I was now a criminal. This was the worse punishment that I could ever have. If Annie now thought I was evil, then I could not cope with that. I also knew that Annie would be happy that no one was hurt so there was some hope. I was lucky that there would be no court case and that I would not be sent to juvie. Mom persuaded everyone that I was being punished and she knew that deep down that I was a good boy.
I did get revenge on Sarah for telling everyone that it was me. I snuck into her house and put frogs in her bed. It was a shame that there was no camera that I could see her scream that night when she went to bed. Of course, I was blamed once again and grounded once again. Cameron was also mad at me because I used his frogs.
Mutt had to leave the school. He had to go back to the Indian reservation where his family was. I should have been happy as this meant that he could not be with Annie. This was not the case. I was not at all happy. I knew that it would make Annie so sad and this would be hard for me to see. I also liked Mutt. As I said, he was everything that I was not. He was very smart and never got in trouble. I also liked that he cared so much for Annie. He treated her like a princess and he was always there for her. This was true love and it was always nice to see how happy Annie was when she was with Mutt. Now she did not have this anymore. I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything would be OK. Annie still had friends at the school. Everyone liked her! I was sure that everyone at the school would help Annie. We all hoped that Mutt would come back one day.
I was not like Mutt. I was always getting into trouble. It was small things like talking when I should not have been talking or daydreaming during class. I also tried avoiding school chores like when we had to sweep the school. Everyone heard that I was nearly sent to the juvie. This meant that I was known as the school sissy that always got into trouble. There was only one girl that had more ticks than me. Her name was Heidi. It seemed as if every time she opened her mouth, she got a tick.
Annie was very sad after Mutt left the school. We all could understand this and everyone did their bit to support Annie. Annie did not say much and her eyes were always very red. I suspected that she cried a lot because Mutt was no longer there. This was hard to see. Annie was always a happy girl that was always friendly with others. She never got into trouble and was a model student. If someone was sad, she would always say something nice to cheer that person up. Now she was sad.
I did not know what to say to her. I did not know if she liked me or not. Maybe she thought that someday I would end up in juvie. I was also mad at myself. A part of me was thinking that now that Mutt was gone, I could ask Annie to be my girlfriend.
Was this selfish of me?
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