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續‧重蹈覆轍9Please respect copyright.PENANAWHIEERXeGl
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他和父親都愛上了此生最大的錯誤。一如血脈相承的詛咒,在掙扎邊陲活著。分家的孩子承受詛咒,保護著宗家的孩子,牽隙他們的是枷鎖、是怨懟,是戀留。9Please respect copyright.PENANALm2jGO2wmx
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於是父親離去的那天背影看來多麼蕭瑟、滄桑,亦像是放下許久壓抑的灑脫自在。9Please respect copyright.PENANAer6FgGEVgi
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太陽和月亮的距離近的咫尺,卻很遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAN8gJj9soUL
自始自終誰也無法追逐到誰。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3Lg03sALeG
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院子扦插的曇花是父親於他出生那日栽植的。9Please respect copyright.PENANASFhkPYULNM
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聽母親溫柔的敘語,那是父親送給他的禮物,那是寧次一生唯一一次收到來自父親的禮物。曇花是種珍稀的花,難以繁殖,而且總是在夜嵐刮來星斗時嬌羞的露出絕俗的妍態,稍稍長大懂事後,他常在曇花的季節理徹夜守著含苞的低垂美人,期待花開。天真的等候著那日來臨。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1Uq01yV30y
原來自己也曾有過天真。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1YSOrJ8Lxp
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忘了哪個人問他事了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAB53bgwihGW
但那人的問題卻讓他一時愕然。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgUumbMwCpY
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寧次,你有喜歡的花嗎……?9Please respect copyright.PENANA5m5Cg23fnG
……問這種娘娘腔的問題,幹麻?9Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZHid6GGLk
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或許是那人的問題導致十歲的日向寧次驀然回首囊昔,期待花開的自己。被當年天真的自己愕然。雖然如今的自己很不屑當年懵懂年幼的他,可存在他內心的那種曖昧的情感又是什麼?他一時語塞,半晌回不了魂。9Please respect copyright.PENANADYKDkiFQwH
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然後,那一天,他翹開練習,回到人去樓空的家,凝視著庭院擺闔的曇花。好久沒看見花開了,父親命絕的那夜,曇花一夜綻開一夜盡落,彷彿用此輓歌。而他自那起也沒再注視曇花,因為,會想起沉淪往事,曾經璀璨的童年,父親和母親的笑顏。9Please respect copyright.PENANAr8W6kmd5K8
讓他痛苦的無以複加的曾經。9Please respect copyright.PENANAOk0ahc426Z
他靜靜地望著夜暮低垂,月亮升起在天空之中。贏贏曇花隨之活躍,縱然轉眼凋謝,卻仍想綻放此生最美之姿,好讓人惦記著她擁有過的曾經燦爛。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5nwQJaziK
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寧次,看見月下美人,你腦海閃逝過的人是誰呢?9Please respect copyright.PENANApOeJbuM75M
父親安在的年歲曾品酒問著他,那是他們一家三口癡等曇花美麗的涼夜。他想,亦許父親是喝醉了,要不他怎會忽然看見父親蒙上霧氣的白眼呢?父親總不讓自己顯露出軟弱一面的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZU4iWAOPAJ
他悶悶不應。9Please respect copyright.PENANAamOsjelxwl
父親舉起酒杯,喃喃自語。旋即,向庭院洒酒。然後,他朝著母親和他,淡淡、悲哀的勾起一抹弧度,那時,母親可能掩面流涕罷,而他卻楞楞的不解父親怪異行徑。曇花緩緩睜開她美麗眸采。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzaf1suiTTQ
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隱約記得,似乎應了父親一句。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3LggjYmPn8
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那,父親您呢?看見曇花,你想到的人是誰?9Please respect copyright.PENANACINX7HYkLV
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……9Please respect copyright.PENANAzx3XpOPRwh
他忘了父親說了什麼,以及母親的神色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzxqcVBdpUN
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但是啊,父親,每每當他一見曇花時,宗家繼承人的容顏便會佔據他腦海,天真無邪的內向笑靨,令他不討厭。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMKOfn98FZg
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他想,他犯錯了。也許是前輩子,也許在很久很久以前,便犯錯了。所以,神詛咒了他,讓他在圓弧中跑著,向著沒有終點的盡處。9Please respect copyright.PENANAfXv4ZBroh3
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讓他遠望卻觸不及的絕望。9Please respect copyright.PENANAcT0VYAkkqG
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隱隱約約的意識中,朦朧的對話跳躍。9Please respect copyright.PENANAelMpQVgPId
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……放棄吧,連我也無能為力。女人沉吟,無奈的感覺充溢。那是五代火影的冷言,他識得。放棄……?腦海一瞬呆滯。許久纔緩慢回憶起來,啊,對了,他中了音忍的毒標,忍不住揚起自嘲的笑紋。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAoQ8y6Wxy2
……火影大人,您是開玩笑的吧?男人拼命壓抑激動,抖顫的問。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJH0HfGO3Wo
我像是開玩笑嗎?女人的嗓音難得認真,一板一眼,不容忽視的嚴威。折服於火影的言詞,男人嚍嘴。9Please respect copyright.PENANANF8Rh4zi8X
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雖然聽得到週遭紛雜的聲音,他卻無法睜開眼睛。黑的像朔月時,整個木葉村只有微弱的火光閃爍時那樣。9Please respect copyright.PENANA4nxRO39Xkj
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房門開闔聲音休止。世界安靜地像要吞噬他,寂寥的駭人。 9Please respect copyright.PENANAUQj6SNtKmN
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無法拯救了。毒素在血管蔓延,就算鋼手大人沒把脈,他也知道,那毒無法解開,他十分清楚,比起任何人。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzm8ktqwlVX
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是嗎,終於也該抽身離去了。分家的孩子存在的目的,終祇為某人活著罷了。悲哀卻只能承認事實。靜止空間中,迴盪著女人與男人的對白,清晰的不容辦勃。也難怪,方才他在夢中彷彿望見父親和母親在橋的一端,拿著彼岸花,紅艷的劃破烏夜,他們的面容沉靜慘白。卻都難過地向他微笑,那種無能為力的苦容。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzO8jbmQy2j
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適才不懂的現在全了悟。總是看透現實面的他,總是冷靜分析透闢事件真相的他,總是強忍的一切激烈情感的他,無論怎樣總是的他,卻依然潸潸落淚,因為他還是孩子,還是無法獨自承受一切的孩子,還是無法放下連鎖的孩子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgMpz5MsddP
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他想,他根本不像父親吧。迎接死亡的那份恐懼,父親肯定是微笑的,不向他們而向著另一人,在破曉時分迷離虛幻的夢境中,對著那人淡淡、淒惻的展露笑顏。9Please respect copyright.PENANAVZOXZLZ8ad
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低沉而抑仰的破碎泣音,自喉嚨掙扎現聲。9Please respect copyright.PENANATh6PnYxW7Q
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盛夏溽暑,正是月下美人綻放美麗的時節。9Please respect copyright.PENANAuaPk8KrM0a
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春櫻繁落交替更迭氣節的空隙,父親領他前去和將與他往後生涯有所纏繞的宗家繼承人會面。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvaw1DBnW1t
尚未和她見面前,他曾兀自揣測宗家的孩子長相,他以為她該是那種驕傲的居高臨下,帶著鄙夷神色的人──直到他和她見面為止,那些奇夢幻想才全盤推翻。9Please respect copyright.PENANA7FpwxT62oA
羞赧地扯著父親和服下擺,內向的紅了臉,有些緊張的探出小頭顱和寧次眼神相對,卻又每每紅了耳根縮回父親的背後,可是後來又會怯生生的偷偷瞄向他,之後又對上他的眼眸而緊張的縮回去,讓他覺得莞爾。那是寧次對雛田的初次印象,她是個害羞內向的小小女孩,不僅如此,尚有點怯懦。然則,那雙和他略仿的珍珠眸子折射著異樣光彩,那種,像星辰閃爍的燦奪,像漆夜裡微渺的吊燈閃爍,像打入黑暗中的曙光,閃著讓人忍不住驚嘆的光澤。9Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZXBT87BAf
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落英幾許,父親沒說什麼,他僅是定定的望向前方,不發一語,就那樣久久的長長的凝視前方。9Please respect copyright.PENANA80ZZbbOAum
他覺得空氣中有異樣的情愫竄流,卻又說不上什麼。9Please respect copyright.PENANAT4NaevuBRO
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見父親獨自陷入沉思沒有理會自己的意思,他望向瑟縮在宗家身側的小女孩,似乎注意到他打量的目光,她向寧次露出笑靨,在她終於不緊張後,她對他淺淺的笑了。他忽然想起家裡的月下美人,綻放時羸弱卻耀眼奪目的妍姿,就像方才雛田唇畔牽起的漣漪。雖然稱不上美,但他的心卻充溢著她的笑顏,那種──就算死亦甘之如飴讓他誓言守護一輩子的笑容。9Please respect copyright.PENANA6RZhxpegAn
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於是,自然而然的,他跟著那渲染開來的氣氛,淺淺的漾笑。9Please respect copyright.PENANASQ73UD7vhx
那時腦海閃過一種信念,一生一世都要守著她的笑容。9Please respect copyright.PENANAYeW7PIcmd0
只是當時還是孩子的他不懂,不懂那堅定的意念何來? 9Please respect copyright.PENANAPHxq0wOXjK
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多年以後,他纔曉得那就是,所謂的,一見鍾情。9Please respect copyright.PENANAXva1BXckl0
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日向寧次再次睜開眸子時已過大半夜,華燈懸上許久,柔和的銀光清柔灑落,星斗明滅不已。萬籟俱寂,平素喧嘩吵鬧的木葉村,此時卻寂寥的乏聲可聞。口乾舌燥,他纏滿繃帶的手背覆蓋雙眸,月光亮的刺眼,扎的他忍不住掉淚,銀光在黑暗中閃逝。9Please respect copyright.PENANAp8pxEcORZy
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常聞言,人死之前,過往雲煙就會像跑馬燈出現,是故才夢回當年和她見面時的情景嗎?亦許是吧,他睜著眼,眼角的淚還未乾,凝望著腥紅燦爛的望月,他闔目。9Please respect copyright.PENANAoYmI7dApp3
對了,那時她總是甜甜的向著自己笑著,那種像糖粉灑落滿身甜的化不開的香味,是他對她笑窩的印象。9Please respect copyright.PENANAGGZsmIaTth
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……總是縈繞著甜味,讓他多年後常靜靜的盼望著,月下美人的綻放。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJJPVrvqmQ2
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可是啊,已經來不及了,好多好多他曾想一件一件和她述說分享的事情都已來不及說出口了,已經,來不及了。9Please respect copyright.PENANA2CKzojIzTX
無力的讓他頓愕,卻將一切鬆手,如果,命中注定如此,那麼他所能做的僅僅只有放手了。9Please respect copyright.PENANANcY2MicTfH
放手,然後衷心祈禱她能夠幸福,他摯愛的妹妹。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtGsb5FP6h8
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夏蟬搖曳著熱浪似的風聲,高分貝的鳴叫,整個木葉村陷入有史以來最為難熬的夏日,小男孩眼緊追著黃浪似的向陽花在令人炫目的日光下依風擺盪,然後,風襲來熱意。遠方塵埃漫天,似是有人奔跑卻一不注意跌地所揚起的灰塵。他定睛瞧了瞧來人,爾後,他冷漠的幾乎從來不曾燦爛的展開笑容的臉上隱約出現弧度。9Please respect copyright.PENANA8A3BVoIdoF
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夢境迅速轉換。9Please respect copyright.PENANAN1K9veDNiW
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雛田的笑容似白雪糖粉灑落,甜膩的卻不讓他噁心。那以後,她常怯生生地拉著自己的袖擺,用著像她個性的軟語,低低、甜甜的喚著他,寧次哥哥。每次聽聞她如此軟語,他總會想好好抱緊她,聆聽她微弱的呼吸聲,感受她微涼但餘熱尚存的體溫。他甚至想過,就算死亦無所謂,只要她能夠一直對自己微笑,一直不變的用軟軟甜甜的嗓音叫他,寧次哥哥。即使跳下死的深淵,他亦甘之如飴。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvRCdZcmqda
那年夏天,他留下很多回憶。向陽花波浪似的前後顛仆枝葉,而妹妹的笑顏駐留在那片陽光似的花海,燦奪滿目。9Please respect copyright.PENANAUE2FqXe5zj
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他挽著雛田的手臂,他想給她一個禮物,可以讓人留下深刻殘像的禮物。於是那天,他瞞著宗家掌門,偷偷地帶雛田往著自家方向跑著,雛田的短髮在暮靄中染了顏色,像瞬間記憶般的黃昏在她髮稍駐足,他依稀記得那瑰麗色系,似乎自那以後,他便沒再見過像那天一樣的夕幕。9Please respect copyright.PENANAhMO9pBe2kJ
無法再見到的,那是他多年後纔領悟的道理。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3SX31C0JV2
他們,並不會一直都是孩子的,有一天,他們也會長大也會闊別的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvOrApQk18S
他不願懂也不想懂,他不想離開笑意盎然的童年。9Please respect copyright.PENANAOGIr7q5tJR
說不定,一直沒長大的是他。因為他,一直耽溺在過往,不曾夢醒。9Please respect copyright.PENANABECP1u3Pnw
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猝然嚇醒,一眨眼一閉眼,原本暗的可怖的天幕漸漸魚肚白,日向寧次驚劇地大口喘氣,面容蒼白的映襯他的白眸。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbgJ6pCaZw2
血液在體內逆流,奔騰的毒素正侵蝕著他身體的每處,連同骨髓腐蝕。所以,已經沒有時間了,他已經沒有時間了。 9Please respect copyright.PENANAFdFRpeKUzi
來不及說出口了吧。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFqNM32xMT7
來不及說出,我愛妳,這簡單的三個字。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAtAn5YjAFk
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他還有以後嗎?曾經他如此問著過往的天真,孩子冷漠的不言,他還有以後嗎?孩子僅是凝睇他,無言的以唇語回應。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZduA5qftjp
他忽然覺得自己仍然一樣天真的令人鄙夷,他一直以為有以後,所以他錯過了時機,因為他一直愚昧的相信以後,就像今天做不完的事情總留給明天完成,然後明天完成不了的事情留到後天,如此不斷循環重複,可笑的讓人流淚。9Please respect copyright.PENANA94eq87CudB
老是常想,以後再告訴她好了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAy4iURM0d0N
如今卻驀然警覺,他和她之間,還有以後可言嗎?還有嗎?他還能活到那時嗎?還能嗎?恐懼和不安襲來,他徬徨,他迷惘,他不禁扶案痛哭,他們無法共有以後了吧,他亦無法對她道,我愛妳、我愛妳、我愛妳,我一直都很愛妳,雛田。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtS4BrsWZh0
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人啊,往往在生死一瞬間懊悔不已,悔恨著自己還有好多事情尚未付諸行動、實踐,明明一直有機會說清楚,卻選擇沉默以對。9Please respect copyright.PENANATaZvj4IZhK
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沉默的讓人日後情何以堪。9Please respect copyright.PENANARqH4lMT6xh
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溫暖的感覺透過指尖傳遞於掌心流竄全身神經脈路,誰用盡全力緊握著他的手?腦海迷迷糊湖的渾沌不清,整個頭痛的無法思緒,他緊閉著眼,想撐開凝望來者何人時發見自己竟連睜眼的氣力也一點一點的流失了,透過眼皮的世界混和著紅白黑,三種元素纏繞著腦自打轉,刺痛又詭異的顏色幾乎讓他瞬間欲放棄張目,可是那點點滴滴滲透的溫煦感覺卻給了他足夠氣力,他猛地張眼,映入漸漸清晰視野的人,是那位擁有著一頭比擬藍天的短髮與一雙白雲眸子的少女。9Please respect copyright.PENANAwaG0AA4HZY
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原本就已纖白的小臉更形蒼白,微涼的小手因緊握著他掌心而不斷泌汗,她欲哭的白眸瞅著他,似寬心或者什麼的,淚滾落,像夏日午後常不意出現的雷陣雨,來勢洶洶的傾洩。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1iU97WvoEA
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她哽咽的無法言語,霧氣蒙上她眼,使他也感到那淚的酸楚,讓他心悸的苦楚。9Please respect copyright.PENANAD80skxK6e9
雛田不停地用衣擺拭去淚漬,熱淚仍盈眶。她垂首低嚶,身子因哭泣而不止的顫抖,雛田緊擰著自己的裙擺,似要藉此讓激動不已的心平復般的壓抑劇抖。9Please respect copyright.PENANAlkNGnJz2os
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破碎而斷續的話語連串併出。9Please respect copyright.PENANAcUuNZZWM48
「對不起……對不起……真的很對不起……都是我害你的……如果我能夠再強一點就好了……那麼寧次哥哥你就不會身中異毒了……全部都是我害的……對不起……」她每說一句對不起,頭就垂的更低,壓抑的悲傷也躦出漏洞。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvwTZZrLc15
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讓寧次每次看的心就碎一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANArSPgGvxtP3
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想起身擁抱她,安慰她別再哭了,好不好?雛田,我只想瞧瞧妳的笑顏,縱然是艱難的扯出笑弧,但也足夠了。可他甚至連起身也無法如願以償,遑論安慰她呢?9Please respect copyright.PENANAuQhzlJ6p7B
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忽然沒有聲音。寧次困惑的瞥向雛田的位置,她扶案熟睡,呼吸仍舊如往年般淡淡的如隨時飄逝而去的魂魄般無聲無息,應是哭累了。他頓時失笑,然而笑聲尚且來不及溢出就被迫抑止。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgcmQlmUww0
不想笑了。他身心俱疲,他只能乏力地等候死亡到來。9Please respect copyright.PENANAIPtt0nkrzq
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窗外一抹白雲悠悠飄蕩,夏季的風迎面充滿暖意,讓人慵懶的無意思想,眨眨眼,覺得很睏,很累。之後,他陷入熟睡。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMfSoorZ5EO
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回憶裡的雛田老是面露笑容。那種給人心暖暖的純粹笑臉,那種讓他就算拋棄一切也想要守護的笑容。9Please respect copyright.PENANA7nZsgPt2mn
曾幾何時,全走樣了?現實裡的雛田畏懼著他,常常害怕的瑟著身子,只要他稍微靠近她一小步,她就害怕的退後一大步。亦不再對他展露當年的笑靨了,取而代之的紙是無盡的恐懼退縮,對他莫名敬畏。9Please respect copyright.PENANAdzgpa6GKN8
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往往使他忍不住皺眉,每見她一次就凝眉,到最後,久養成息,自然而然的,他眼神便變的此般凶神惡煞。9Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZTNiuXsmj
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眼神驅退了雛田,好一陣子他幾乎沒再和雛田碰頭他也沒那意思和她見面──反正雛田見著他還是會閃躲的,又何必去硬和她見面?9Please respect copyright.PENANAZbSxK6DGZX
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後來雛田還是靦腆的朝他如花的笑著,那是誤會冰釋後的很久以後,澎湃的情感如浪潮湧進,淹沒了理智,以及本分。9Please respect copyright.PENANAPsuZhTQnzM
他想,那就是所謂的幸福吧。9Please respect copyright.PENANAbKNamw9zMV
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某天,他陡地害怕起來,那種幸福的像山雨欲來風滿樓的前兆。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxzoMYZZZ6c
有什麼要不見了。那個什麼對他來講是很重要的東西,重要到讓他用生命換取也不在乎的重要。9Please respect copyright.PENANA7rISkG7oEK
那種異樣的情愫出現後沒幾日,雛田被襲擊帶走了。才曉得,是什麼了,是雛田啊,對他來說更甚於生命的人。明明很久以前就懂了,卻遺忘了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAsUvQQBMivj
所以,神懲罰他──不該忘卻記憶。9Please respect copyright.PENANALN55VseEKK
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能見到嗎?還見得到嗎?院裡綻放滿叢的曇花。他還能見到嗎?ns 15.158.61.36da2