Chapter#2: 'S552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ApnahhBRB
He is on the bed and, with just a little cut on his right hand. Looks around and finds someone in the room.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kksSWy9t4
Recognizes Eric from his golden watch. He seems to be asleep but he is not. He is right in front of his eyes, on a chair, and he sure is dead. Smothered with a blanket.
A moment later, after he is sure this can’t be a dream, loses his train of thoughts.
Eell: “No. I didn’t. No I’m sure it wasn’t you. It wasn’t you. How is this even possible?”
Tries to break the chain. It doesn’t happen.
Eell: “No. [widens his eyes] This shit is not happening.”
Peeps out from the window and doesn’t find anyone. Grabs the bag of laundry and takes off shirt.
Eell: “... [breathing heavily] ... Now...”
Stares at Eric’s watch. Closes his eyes.
Eell: “Huh... What did I do wrong?”
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Starts the engine and turns on. Eric’s car care, It’s just in front of the hospital. and It doesn’t look logical, when he looks at the night sky and thinks about about it.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngZivjCIwQ
[Jess Eavesdrops is playing] and he doesn’t like it. Or maybe he does.
The Outer World, It’s as unbelievable as his dreams are.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzI2xTjToD
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[It’s still playing]
Finds Elizabeth’s picture. The frame looks old. Tries to read the tiny words on the picture. A date, about one year ago, A signature of Eric and a really short message: "we love you forever". Puts it back. The room is a mess, though It’s empty.
Eell: “Huh... Bullshit.” Tries to laugh but he can’t.
Sits on the cough and grabs his hair.
After some minutes, makes a decision. Suddenly runs to the window and jumps out of it.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6MXzSeXoO
Yells descending from the heavens of pleasure : “Enough!”
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UNKNOWN_VOICE: “It would be really nice If everything could be solved by death.”
Feels a maddening pain in his right arm. And Screams out of pain.
Eell: “... [takes a breath] ... Maybe It’s all because of, that time when I didn’t swim with those idiot kids at the beach...And I, just called them Idiots without a reason. Huh.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OhGBgbhRk
Like his fingers are on fire, but they’re not.
Eell: “Who knows... Maybe It works... And Maybe Not.”
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Eell: “Do I enjoy watching people dying before me?”
REAL_Eell: “I Prefer the shit I watch to have minimum level of any kind of emotions, cause I wanna experience them myself, in the Outer world. Maybe I, you know, unintentionally have a really unhealthy level of unknown emotions, because of the huge impact of- [stops] No... YOU DO NOT ENTERTAIN ME. DISAPPEAR.”
Eell: “But I am not the imaginary one, you are.”
REAL_Eell: “What kind of real world are you living in that you don’t even know what happened, what’s happening and what they all supposed to be?”
Eell: “The Outer World, doesn’t work like that. There are possibilities. Likely scenes and unlikely ones. And the hell is this... I’m dreaming. Why am I feeling this pain then?”
REAL_Eell: “You’re really disappointing me. I am dreaming; and I’m the one who is controlling this. But I’m not telling you we’re in a dream. Outer world? It doesn’t change, I suppose. As long as it’s just Me and...”
Eell: “Who are you?”
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AN_UNFAMILIAR_FACE_LOOKING_THROUGH_HIS_EYES: “Leonard Shelby. But even pretending to be dead, doesn’t help the situation. They just found Linda’s head, No time for playing around.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHx0Eiv42Q
Tries to get out of the bin. His right arm hurts like hell. Seems nobody noticed that he was in that bin. The guy is staring at him. Looks at his shape again.
Eell: “Excuse me. Who are you?”
Gets up. Sniffs his sleeves. Smells like shit.
Leonard_Shelby: “How many times are you going to ask the same thing?”
Eell: “Wait.. what do you mean by that?... Can’t remember any [YELLS] ...Leonard!”
Leonard_Shelby: “Hey! Are you crazy? Call me L, you stupid fuck.”
Eell: “No. This shit is not funny anymore. I’m out. Even If I’m not the real one I die and Me awakes.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7R1wB0bQST
He can see a truck coming. Waits for the truck and jumps on the street.
Dies.
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RAW_E: “You know. It happens. Sometimes, you didn’t do anything wrong, the thing that might hurt them, but they don’t think like you do. You have the choice not to care. Maybe you don’t want to make them happy. The thing is when It’s done, it can’t be undone. And they will fuck you up. They’ll legitimately fuck you over. Maybe you don’t like them, maybe you don’t want intimacy. You wanna but ′just can’t′ break the chain. Maybe they can’t be reasonable when it comes to you. You need to coexist as other creatures do. however, they’re gonna do as they wish and you need to hear their nonsense, they need to throw their rocks on somebody, right? it’s fucking impossible to fill your mind with shit forever. I wanted to say something about some ′logical′ stuff... not like ”Your mom loves you more than anything in the world“... well... just can’t remember it already.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUGbVrinpJ
Eell: “Nothing more? Cause now I need to wake up.”
RAW_E: “But I Think you can’t. You’re dead, buddy.”
Eell: “Cut the shit. I need to wake up.”
RAW_E: “I’m admiring you. Why aren’t you listening? you did something just, eh, really incredible. You died without involving any physical elements.”
Eell: “I need to change the plan. Sometimes I don’t really know I enjoy doing it or not.”
RAW_E: “Don’t you wanna accept you’re dead and have a little fun with us? Some raw material here we have, that make you busy for a while.”
Eell: “I’m not fucking dead. And this is fucking me over the most. I can’t see L, here.”
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UNKNOWN_FEMALE_VOICE: “Never do that again. Promise me...”
Eell: “What is this?”
All he can see is a very close face of a young girl.
UNKNOWN_FEMALE: “Thank God... [stops sobbing] Can you hear me?”
Eell: “People drink alcohol. That shit ain’t edible. [laughs uncontrollably] ... Yeah, I know...”
UNKNOWN_FEMALE: “Oh dear, I’ve been ...”
Eell: “How’s my Linda?”
Linda: “Did you try It?”
Eell: “Actually, I tried so many times... It fucking did hurt, and I... enjoyed it, as long as I can deny it all, which is frustrating... cause she was real...”
Linda: “... I-I love you. You know that.”
Looks somewhere else. And whispers: “It doesn’t matter. they’re all the same.”
Yawns with a bored expression.
Eell: “You don’t, do you? You do it just because I made you to be sweet. You don’t exist.”
Linda: “I can’t get it, honey. What are you talking about? Eell was so worried...”
Eell: “I don’t want ′LOVE′... It was so real...Uh...Why am I yelling at you... It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
There is an empty plate, and just a knife, on the floor.
She smiles and whispers in a calm voice : “Happy birthday, honey. [sighs] we’re both 50 now.”
OLD_Eell: “And none of them is you! ... [grabs the knife] Just... WHERE ARE YOU?"
Stabs her five times in the right eye. She collapses on the floor.
Feels sad. And then angry; again. Gets out of that room and walks down the stairs. The room was empty. Runs down the stairs and he is thinking about how good it feels to meet someone dear to him out there. Six years old Eell is playing a card game. Gets close to him, looks at his little head and Shouts: ”FUCK! [Stabs him three times in the neck , with all power] Fuck! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck!!!... Fuck... Fuck, huh?"
OLD_Eell: “When nobody is around me I feel less lonely... maybe It’s... about the Fucking words! Don’t wanna fucking use ’em anymore! Oh... ”
Takes out the knife. Tastes the blood. It’s not sweet.
OLD_Eell: “Well, At least I know where in the fun-map I am. Killed the second annoying bitch, and now it’s time to fucking kill the last one. Hope he didn’t kill himself already.”
Cuts his own throat and collapses on little Eell’s body.
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Leonard_Shelby: “You can’t sexually love your sister, It’s fuckin’ sick.”
They’re in a sport car driving down a highway at night. Looks at Leonard’s face with a big big Smile while he is raging with anger, and a twisted feeling of extreme sadness.
Eell: “Have you ever thought about dying in a highway at night, L?”
L turns his face towards him.
L: “It’s not the time for joking around, I’m talking to you, and seriously... [Calms down and smiles] Thought You just call Elizabeth like that.”
Eell: “It bothers you? how about ‘Leon’?”
The car shook. Leon glares at him with disgust.
Leon: “Are you listening to me?... [clams down again] Guess No.”
Looks at his emotionless face.
Eell: ”Just ′Leonard′, then?”
Leonard takes off his Glasses.
Leonard: “You’re enjoying playing around, huh? Maybe I should try it too.”
Eell: “Finally you made your mind. [laughs hysterically] And you, die. [stops laughing and cries, the tears come out of nowhere] I’m not a monster, And even if I am, Don’t I have the right to live?... [Smiles]"
He didn’t bat an eyelid.
Leonard: “There is one last thing I need to do, before dying, and It’s not accepting your sick excuses. It’s fucking...”
And shoots Eell in the head, Twice.
Leonard: “...erasing your existence from the world.”
Everything seemed to be a frozen memory. There was an old river under the bridge. He could see it and he knew what he was gonna do.
Stopped the car and opened the door to push the body out. Took another look at his unrecognizable face and Growled: “You really did a good job.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHnkdDuROk
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Eell: “That’s just fantastic. I love not knowing enough!”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCokT77LP8
They are in the same car and the same road, at the same time.
Leonard: “What do you mean by ‘THAT’?”
Leans in to hear his answer. and holds his hat to keep it flying away in the wind.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzK05zHTvIY
Eell: “Loving my sister sexually, I just learned It’s ′fucking sick′. Huh.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0TqsaQdQa
Leonard: “What...? [chuckles in disbelief] ...”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBapJ0DCIyc
Eell: ” [Puts his smile back on]... I, really like that expression of yours. You know, I always get excited about my first interaction with people I just met. Excited about knowing them, I mean discovering them, no manipulative intentions. But I’m not experiencing any excitement right now. [whispers] Cause I know what a shitty little brother you are.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm58gfsgYA4
Leonard: ” [tries not to get confused, closes his eyes for a moment]... Wait, wait, wait... what are you talking about? I’m not getting any of this.”
Eell: “You don’t need to. As long as nobody’s gonna die because of you, anymore.”
Leonard: “I can’t understand yet. What’s the matter, E?”
He has a 9mm pistol in his pocket. Puts his finger on the trigger and gives Eell a questioning look.
Eell: “A really weak choice of words.”
Jumps out of the car after driving it toward the river. Then runs after it to watch it falling off the bridge. A big explosion occurs, which makes him smile. Hears someone yelling ′fuck!′. And asks himself: "Fuck?"
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Leonard: “We’re here to mess with some minds. lovely, ain’t it?”
They are at it, again.
Bites his ear and yells: “Damn straight, L!”
The next moment, finds himself in Linda’s hug.
Linda_AS_A_SISTER: “I’m here for you.”
So warm. Forgets it all for a moment. Her hug gets tighter.
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: “I’m always here for you. I thought I had a beautiful time, before you came, I don’t know if I can ever come back from this... In this static space. I don’t know. But If you are the only one in the world It’s enough.”
He just can’t handle this roller coaster anymore. The knowledge of his existence breaks into pieces inside his mortal self.
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: “I won’t be able to lie again, to me, or anyone else.”
Kisses him on the lips. and stares him in the eyes.
Eell: “They were the most beautiful lies I’ve ever heard.”
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: “It’s gonna be even more beautiful. And I’m not lying.”
Puts her face on his.
Eell: “I’ll never be enough and you’ll regret so much about, this.”
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: “I don’t care anymore.”
Eell: “You will.”
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: “No, I won’t.”
Eell: ” I was there.”
Linda_NOT_AS_A_SISTER: ”I’ll change the world again."
He can’t hold back anymore. Stares into her shining eyes.
Eell: “Are you, real?”
Linda: “No.”
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Leonard: “We can do this forever. I really like it.”
Eell: “What, do you want from me?”
Leonard: “Leave, my, sister, alone!”
Eell: “but she’s NOT real!”
And gives Leo a surprised look.
Leonard: “What the FUCK are you talking about... Just because you can’t forget about he-”
Doesn’t care. interrupts him and yells in a very loud voice: “I hate beautiful things! Though I’m not devil!... Anyway, What is devilish about being the poor devil? Forget about your memories and you’ll see you’re neither sane nor beautiful anymore.”
Leonard: “You’re not making any sense... ”
Eell: “You need to be mindful of the details to have a real fiction.”
Leonard: “You think this is a fucking game? It’s how it ends.”
Eell: “And the ending is gonna be really tragic.”
Looks at the colorful trees on the road that caress the eyes like how a mother does.
Eell: “What’s the point of being beautiful, cute or lovely? Why does it even matter? Ugly things are way more human If you ask me. they have the same right to be loved. Nah?”
Linda: “They do.”
The room is so dark. And they’re on the bed. Lying against the window. The moonlight is shining. And they’re watching it, locking their hands.
Eell: “How?”
Linda: “Our love is ugly, they say. That’s how.”
Eell: “I feel scared.”
Linda: “You can put your head on my lap and comfort yourself with the emptiness of the moment.”
Eell: “I feel terrified...”
Linda: “No need to be terrified. You’ll be with me for ever and ever. And I’ll be with you... [stares at his terrified eyes] ...for ever... and ever... and It’s not a story. ”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjg2CXxRW9x
Eell: “How can you take me out of my dream? Who are you?... How is this even possible?”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19HkFl2hAF
Linda grabs his head and talks to him in a hysterical voice: “Their words look like a death-dish full of POISONS, judging all the time, nice and easy, deadlier than my desire to physically kill someone. How can they just laugh and throw those words? ′Evil′? What? does it even exist? Why do they try to kill what they don’t understand, to make it look like them? Fighting is acceptable but It’s more like stabbing someone in the middle of a nightdream... [lowers her voice and backs to normal] Enough of this Chit-chat. you need to sleep, dear.”
Feels really unsure. And thinks to himself watching the sky: “Have I seen this moon before?”
Eell: “...who are you?” And chuckles, trying to figure out who she really is.
Linda: “bored of the the common stupidity?”
His core of existence is starting to liquefy.
Eell: “the word ′stupidity′ is offensive. Choose a polite one with the same meaning, like Alexandria’s Genesis. heh-ha.”
Looks at her pupils to make sure about that. And he knows why.
Linda: “How about ′dreaming the same′? You know cause, dreams are personal realities. That would be hella hell.”
Eell: “Are you real?”
Linda: ” [gets nervous] I don’t wanna be real. [calms down] I want to be your dream, when you’re awake.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkv76L4Kuk
Everything gets blurry. Closes his wet eyes. Opens them hoping she’s still there. and the next moment she shines again.
Eell: “Do I... [lowers his voice] love you?”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgSEhwYQTW
Linda: “And you can never get enough of me, you always say to me.”
It’s like he’s remembering a long, long, story. But he knows it’s not remembering.
Eell: “Yes. I can’t. I can never get enough of you. And I need to stay awake to see you. I’ll never sleep again. I’ll never dream again.”
Rests his head on her chest. And remembers a shocking memory, that kind of bitter pill you can painfully swallow.
Linda: “But we can sleep, together, and dream together. Dreaming each other. I’m here for you, forever.”
He’s not sure about what’s happening. But it’s too wonderful to be stably true.
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Kid: “Mom, what does it mean to be beautiful?”
He is resting his face on his mother’s shoulder.
NOT_SO_HAPPY_Mom: “Eell, There is, no beautiful thing. Just some less deformed creatures who put a high price on themselves hoping to sell and they, do.”
Young_Eell: “Mrs.Len was saying you’re not beautiful, and you look like a pig. Pigs are not beautiful?”
Presses her burning cigarette on his neck, with a hysterical expression.
Mom: “Shut your shithol-”
The boy screams in pain and tries to escape from her. She pulls him back by the hair and slaps him in the face. Then starts beating him. If he remembers right, for about five minutes.
He yells begging and apologizing her. and Eell is watching them, overflowing with the promised emptiness and holding his breath.
Mom_WHILE_BEATING_HIM_LIKE_CRAZY: “DON’T! [kicks him in the face] CALL! YOUR! [kicks him in the face again..] MOTHER! [kicks him in the face again...] A! [kicks him in the face for the last time] PIG!”
Young_Eell: “S-Sor-[pants]-ry. I’m [pants] sorry. [gulps] I’m... sorry.”
Mom: “You’re SORRY? then come here. Come here you little fuck.”
Pulls his face between her legs.
Mom: “You know what to do.”
Eell is watching and shuddering with a dead look on his face like he is ready to, just, die, like he’s screaming inside.
Mom: “Yeah, suck on that like your FUCKING life depends on it!”
Can’t stand anymore, closes his eyes and burst out crying in a trembling voice: “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...”
The scene stops, the woman screaming out her orgasm and the kid still there under her skirt.
Spits on her face. And shudders like a naked tree.
Eell: “You know! I’ll kill you someday, [stares at her face, eyes wide open] you fuckin’ piece of SICK shit!”
And spits on her another time, and, slowly sits like a water stream falling form the heaven hoping to have a chance to ascend from this filth, just one more time.
His eyelids meet each other and he feels a soft hand gently caressing them.
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His eyes are closed. Grabs the soft hand and kisses it. Has no more tears and his eyes are getting warm. What is this feeling of redemption? Like he is born again.
Eell: “The human brain is the most powerful and complex thing in the universe. That’s why I’ll suffer. Cruel. I’ll suffer...”
Seems_To_be_Linda: “You’re gonna just enjoy... [looks nervous] forever. I give it to you. Open your eyes, dear. Let me see the light and shininess again. I’m here for you. Look at me [whispers in his ear] my darling...”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdYXBglCCE
His eyes are melting like they’re burning in hell. Finally pries his sticky lashes apart.
“It’s Linda. She’s real.” Thinks to himself.
Linda: “Rise and... [panics for a moment] What are these...”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinrfp6oCUr
Eell: “I can’t cry. I can’t, cry...”
And puts his hands on her cheeks, barely a touch, more like trying to feel their heat.
Linda: “I’ll cry, for you.”
Hugs him and cries, for him, without any hesitation.
Linda: ” [tearing up] What was your dream about?”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5rQbY8IaF
Eell: “That one again. I didn’t have that dream for ten years.”
Linda: ” The woman who gave me birth?”
After a minute, Eell holds her head in his hands. she looks like a blossom now. drowns in her existence.
[He can hear Francis Lai’s Love Story playing in his mind]
She tells him, whimpering: “Fuck me. Fuck me hard and just think that bitch has never existed. We’re here now, Nobody’s here. It was all, the past, to this moment. I am, the PRESENT.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXhM5thODq
Eell: “Fuck?”
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Seems It’s night again. and opens his eyes. the first thing he can see and wants to see, is Linda’s face. They’re nose to nose in that almost dark place.
Linda: “Are you looking for the light...? I’ll give you mine. I’ll be everything for you, I’ll do everything for you, more than your dreams, I’m gonna be your dream...”
Eell_GETTING_CRAZY: “I’ll get crazy...”
Linda: “Get crazy for me. Love me in a nonsense way.”
Eell: “It never makes enough sense.”
Linda: “Just made it easier then. [and gives him a you’re mine look] Just feel happy... [She can see a teardrop on his cheek] Cause I do.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dTJjwjiyX
Eell: “Maybe cause there is no love... just biological bullshit...interacting with memories and experiences... And this is too good to be real... what happened to my dead body?”
Linda: “...Oh [Sighs, gives him a tired smile and hugs him, puts her chin on his shoulder] You came to my house and told me you have no one, that Elizabeth died last year, that you have no one, told me that you feel empty, you can’t even be scared, and you have no one [her eyes get all wet again] that I’m the only person you have and you have, no, one... I didn’t believe in that... I was here for you... [her voice starts shaking] and I looked at your eyes that were so sickly out of this world and I fell for you, I could see my place in your eyes... out of this world and Just how I was, where I was... And I told you I’m always here for you... And I am. So unreal and really real... ”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfSMVQVBH2
And he gazes into space with a suffering look, holding her like there’s no tomorrow.
Eell: “I never believed in things like love and shit until the day I saw her... we met, and after the moment she laughed I started to feel a strange thing, and after, that she told me I’m a strange thing, and then she left. she said that because she thought all I did was nonsense. and I met you, and I had that feeling again, and I knew It means the result could be the same.”
Linda pressed her nose to his shirt, closing her eyes and resting her face on his shoulder.
Linda_WHISPERING_IN_HIS_EARS: “But I’m not a human, I’m an angel. Your, angel.”
Eell: “Always thought I can’t have people.”
Linda: “You can have me. I want you to have me. I want you to stay with me ’till the day I die.”
Eell: “Wish I... No. I don’t have any wish...”
And holds her tighter, more intimate than how a mother hugs her child or a brother hugs his sister, more intimate than how humans who are in love do.
Eell: “IS IT MY FAULT THAT I ENJOY PEOPLE’S SUFFERING SO MUCH?”
She feels a deep deep black hole sucking all the light out of her heart.
Linda: “I do too. It’s not your fault. It’s not a... fault...”
Eell: “Can I say that I l...”
Interrupts him.
Linda: ”I love you. "
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THE_PERSON_WHO_TOLD_EELL_”I_LOVE_YOU”: “Breathe the air I breathe.”
Eell: “Why is that?”
THE_PERSON_WHO_TOLD_EELL_”I_LOVE_YOU”: “Guess it’s the day... [insanely jumps out of his bed, she weakly grabs his shirt] No. Just breath the same, air I breath, today.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cJ7GQja38
Eell: “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Just here, [his nose gets red] all the day. talk to me.”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9xEVlKI1i
Her eyelids get heavy.
Eell: “No, no no no no no, no. Talk to me, Talk to me! Ther- [her eyelids get heavier] Linda?... L?”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F2yaLkj9K
Her lips are moving.
Hugs her head and gets close to his mouth to hear what she is saying. And she is saying, in a barely audible voice: “let me feel, your breathing, that you’re alive.”
Can’t process things the way he used to do.
L: “... [hardly chuckles] I was trying to pick some good words, but, just understood there is no ′good′...”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9rdE1WMZD
L:“I love y- [pants] y-”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2eAQMgvMh
She’s not moving anymore.
Eell: ” [stares in disbelief] Just like that?...”552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRcCrRKnI5
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