Dear Alan,
Our baby girl woke up crying for you last night. All I could do was scoop her up in my arms and sing until she cried herself to sleep. She tries so hard not to cry over you, but you know how little ones don't understand death. It broke my heart, honestly, to see her crying her eyes out, and hear her calling for you. All the kids miss their daddy.
You should see Dylan's son. He and Krytal say that that baby will know me as his grandmother, since i was the closest he had to a mother. Lord, that makes me feel old, and I know if you were here, you would "find" a grey hair to confirm that I am getting old. You would love Hunter, hes such a sweet little baby.
Brian still plays your old guitar. In fact, he's going to play it in church tonight. And, Lacey's going to sing your favorite song. She's so much like you. I swear when I look at her, I see your gentle, unbiased love. And Brian is the spitting image of you, but we always knew he would be.
I used your coffee cup this morning, you know the one you would never let anyone drink out of other than yourself. Lacey's wearing on of your t-shirts, even though its way too long on her. I know if you were here, we would be headed for the morning service, but we decided to attend the evening service instead. The kids have stopped attending Sunday School. They say its not the same without you there.
Lacey opened a "Sunday School" of her own after church, to read the bible and talk about stuff with her friends. They're thinking of making into into a neighborhood club and calling it Kids for Christ, which I think is adorable.
For the first time, i managed to sleep through the night without reaching for you. Your is coming over today, so that brings back a few painful memories from the best nights of my life. I could go on and on and on, telling you all the little things, but I don't have time to, and I know you'd understand.
Me, i'm doing ok. I'm going by day to day, and though some days its harder than others, and money is really tight, we will get by. I'll cut this letter short,because right now I can think clear enough to go about my day. Sometimes just talking to you helps a lot.
Love you.
Sandra.
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