I used to have a place, a happiness sprinkled with an undying love..
Faded to dust, and riddled with dismay and salty drops of rain.
Every glistening spectacle was a smile I once gave,
Now fostered without needing me.
Words tangled in a numbing poison, only to never reach a destination.
A life spent doing everything I was told to do..
I satiated their appetites, but I guess people get bored….
Buried under layers of broken glass, from pieces left behind.
Drowning in an endless amount of a thick, scarlet red substance…
My mind pondering if I were the one who should be guilty…
Was it my fault? Was it theirs? Am I truly a good person? Or a deceptive one?
A life built on words spoken by doctors, and betrayed by the closest people…
What is real? From friends, to therapists, to teachers… I can only look back…
Why look forward, when there was nothing to see? “An unpredictable future”
This life is as dramatic as any story plot that involves a mystery and discovery.
My shriveled up heart, beating with a boiling hatred and regret.
A memory supposed to be blocked, that can’t even be wiped clean.
Words never mattered, neither did the truth. As long as it could be twisted it was good.
Writings twisted into a song, sing me to sleep with a death-laced lullaby.
It can’t be sung, by a voice unheard… A voice like mine that can’t be noticed.
A heart that gave every shred of hope to someone else, giving courage that didn’t fit me.
A self-esteem so low, that my heart ignored me automatically!
Love yourself, oh love yourself!!! Words so sickening they brought disgust to me.
A little unglued and unhinged, every piece of glass sharper than before, smaller too!
Falling fast like rain, it can’t be avoided and will rip through your cover..
They fear a monster they made… They fear something they encouraged.
They blame you constantly, they say if you hadn’t done something it’d be fine.
But…
If you pay close attention… One can only TAKE so much, but one can always GIVE more.
If you give them too much they hate it, but give too little they’ll say you don’t care~!
A little Goldilocks, they are only happy when they get exactly what they want, when they want it.
A lil’ cupcake, as sweet as butterscotch! A lil’ princess who has a royalty preference!
A lil’ hot cake, drizzled in an artificial sweet! A lil’ honey bunch, there but last choice...
ns 15.158.61.54da2
