x
Now, I wouldn’t say everything had gone back to normal after that. Due to my muscle atrophy, I was barely of any use to anyone at first. My muscles weren’t all that bad. With a little exercise, doing things became easier and eventually, I was soon back to normal. For a good day or two, though, I was back and forth between my bed and the couch. During that time Scott, Elysif, and I brainstormed ideas on how to catch my masked torturer and the Changeling, but came up with nothing.
Sela pretty much kept every moment of my sleep to themself. Constantly bothering me and asking me crazy philosophical questions. On top of all that, the constant nagging about me being a broken-minded husk of whom I once was pissed me off to no end. Sela would always say that if it wasn’t for them then I would be having panic attacks every few minutes. I ignored it, but it got me thinking. Why haven’t I broken down yet? After all that trauma you would think I would be going insane, but I mostly feel fine…
Anyways, time continued on peacefully for a while, and as I talked with everyone who entered the apartment, I realized that I was truly home. There was nowhere else on earth that I could give that name during any period of my life. This was all I needed. Of course, as I thought this, realization struck.
“You want to what?!” Elysif asked in bewilderment. She had made it a habit of coming upstairs to talk whenever she wasn’t busy working on one of the many potions Scott had been requesting of her recently. I didn’t dislike it. In fact, I enjoyed having her come and talk, but she also liked to appear at the worst possible times.
“I want to go forward in time and ask future versions of yourselves where the murder occurred or at least if there was one. If not, then I’ll repeat the process until I can come up with something,” I explained. I figured that if I could figure out how to properly time travel at will, then I could ask the future Elysif and Scott anything I wanted.
“That sounds easy enough. It might be truly our best bet,” Scott said, looking up from the desk. He had been continuing to study the maps of the city whenever he wasn’t patrolling or sleeping. It had started to feel like an obsession.
“Well, it’s not that easy. I still don’t entirely understand how to travel through certain increments in time. I deduced that when I escaped before, I only traveled an hour ahead at most. To add to that, when I did travel, I had no control over the activation. Last time my watch got destroyed and that triggered it. I don’t know whether I have to destroy another watch, or if I can just do it on command now,” I explained, sadly.
“Well, can’t you ask your power… er, the time god, Sela?” Elysif asked, as she wasn’t sure if she remembered Sela’s title correctly. Though she wasn’t entirely focused on our discussion, but rather, on some documents Mama Louise had sent to us. Including a list of eyewitness accounts claiming to have seen a masked individual, but all of the accounts were scattered across London.
“Yes, but Sela isn’t exactly the poster child of helpfulness. It’s more like a mosquito bite, you know it’s there, and you want it gone, but all it ever does is itch,” I said with a sassy but truthful tone.
“So you’ll just be shooting in the dark until you figure it out?” Scott asked. With that, he shook his head and returned to looking over the maps.
“Pretty much,” I shrugged from the couch.
“Why don’t you try thinking about what caused the activation?” Elysif offered. By this point, she had set down the document in frustration and was now taking her mind off of it with our conversation.
“I would rather not,” I stated firmly. Reliving that nightmare in any capacity was not something I ever wanted to do. Strangely, I couldn’t recall a lot of it. It almost felt blurred.
“No, I meant the watch getting shattered. If that’s the catalyst, then maybe you should mentally recreate that?” Elysif elaborated.
“I’ll try but I don’t know how it’s gonna work,” I said, closing my eyes. Picturing my watch as it was cut in two by the cleaver, I felt strangely light so I opened my eyes. Nothing had happened.
Maybe I need to be desperate in order for it to work? I thought about being tortured, the knife being raised up before being slammed down on one of my body parts. The imagery started to make me feel dizzy, like I was experiencing a flash of light, and I was terrified. My mind shifted for a second. A similar sensation to that of decomposing into dust came over me so I opened my eyes to see that the room was different. No, it wasn’t different. Scott and Elysif had changed places. That was all. “Did it work?”
“Well... yes, and no,” Scott said with a curious and slightly uncomfortable look. He just continued to drink like always, but it seemed like he didn’t want to bother with saying anything.
“You disappeared for about a minute, then… came back,” Elysif said with a similar look. However, she seemed more intrigued than anything.
“Well, I think I know how to activate it now,” I said with an unenthusiastic smile.
“It’s a start,” Scott replied.
I wanted to ask Sela how to get the timing right, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I couldn’t trust that child-like god. This was all a game to them. Toying with my life and making me suffer for some kind of twisted pleasure. I knew nothing about how any of this worked, and I couldn’t trust the information that I would be given. For now, I would try doing it without Sela. If I become desperate enough, then maybe I’ll consider asking.
I guess Sela realized what I was thinking, because that night, just like the past several nights, I was in the Realm of Stars. I mean, I guess that was normal at this point, but this time, there was an ominous door standing behind Sela. The door itself was completely flat, and bore an equally flat ocean-blue colour for all but the door knob. For some reason, the normally steady deity seemed livelier today. Since I had nothing better to do, I sat down in front of Sela cautiously.
“So, what do you want? You wouldn’t bring me here unless you wanted to tell me something or you were bored. Lately it’s been the latter,” I asked with a friendly nature.
“What about when I brought you here while you were being tortured?” Sela asked with a disheartened look. Each of the being's bodily expressions showed that Sela expected me to respond a certain way, so I gave them the answer they expected.
“I would like to think you were showing a little mercy to me,” I replied with a smug but thankful smile. Amused but disappointed, Sela chuckled over my response, not sadistically like normal, but like a friend enjoying themselves. I could not get a read on Sela at all.
“That’s entirely up to your train of thought. Anyways, why I brought you here is because I usually know what you are thinking and I’m gonna tell you that it is 100% possible,” Sela said with a signature look of superiority.
“Really?” I asked, as I didn’t believe that at all, or else they would know what I really think of all this. I still didn’t entirely trust Sela, and I always felt like I was on the receiving end of their absolutely bullshit divine punishment.
“Of course, but you don’t have much time, so I’ll tell you how to pick a destination and time,” Sela stated firmly. Did this being really know what I was thinking? If so, then why does it ask me questions? Is it just that Sela hears my conversations, or do they read my mind? It didn’t make sense at all.
“It would have been so much easier if you had told me how to do this in the first place. Perhaps, when I first arrived in this time period.” Although I was not trying to instigate anything, my tone made it sound like I was.
“But where’s the fun in that? If I did that, you wouldn’t have met the other main characters,” Sela said with a smug and devilish smile.
“Is this really just a story to you?”
“Yep, all humans have worth and use. Each of them is unique despite being the same in almost every aspect outside of personality. It’s why I enjoy giving my power to humans. It’s interesting to see what they do with it when given the opportunity,” Sela said as if it were some kind of ancient Greek philosopher.
“That makes sense, but sounds like you’re just trying to have fun,” I replied. Although I was at peace and happy with my current life, part of me wished that I had never received this power.
“Believe what you want, though you cannot judge me. Don’t you agree that things are more interesting when the unexpected happens?” Sela asked with a self righteous look.
“I guess.”
“Now, about your ability. You can easily travel to any period so long as you have the time and place pictured clearly in your head. If you don’t have that clear picture of where you want to go, then you’ll go to the correct time, but will be somewhere completely random. If you don’t know what time you want to go to, then you’ll just teleport to wherever you were picturing.”
“Is it that simple?” I asked, bewildered by its simplicity. Had I known that it would have been this easy, then I would have done it sooner.
“Of course not!” Sela snapped. My reply seemed to only infuriate the petite powerhouse of a time god.
“Huh?”
“You will be able to travel through time, but it will eventually break you,” Sela explained.
“Then why give me this power in the first place if it was just going to hurt me?” I asked, confused and frankly annoyed.
“The ability itself isn’t what is going to break you. You will break because you aren’t complete or whole,” Sela explained further whilst holding up some overly designed pie charts labeled with my name and missing a chunk.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked. Sela’s entire body sagged in defeat, dropping the graphs onto the reflective pool beneath us. The depressed deity let out a sigh before lifting its head and pinching the bridge of its nose as if it had a headache.
“Did you really think you were just… alright? Especially after getting tortured like that for three weeks straight? When you were being tortured, your mind split off different parts of yourself like copies; but now, all that you are now is an incomplete husk, devoid of any positive driving force. Your friends have already realized that you could be putting on an act, that you may actually be in a lot of pain despite looking so at ease. You yourself haven’t noticed it yet, because you're that far gone,” Sela said in a way that sounded kind. However, the child-like being's face wore a sadistic and entertained smile.
“Are you saying that I’m a fake? That who I am now is not the real me?” I asked angrily before standing up.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Your mind is split up into different parts. At this point, the only things keeping you sane right now are your intact mind's current need for revenge, and myself. If you were to satisfy that desire for revenge, then you would have nothing else to live for.” Sela paused for a moment as I took in this information. I didn’t know what to say as I wanted to deny it, but I could feel that Sela wasn’t lying. Noticing this, Sela spoke up again. “However, if you had the other parts of your psyche, then you could go on. You may even purge yourself of your past suffering,” Sela explained as if it were some demented game.
“How do I get them back?” I asked with a desperate look.
“Go through the door behind me and you’ll see. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice it when you came here,” Sela said, gesturing at the door behind it. Not knowing what else to do, I reluctantly walked past Sela, up to the bare door, and turned the knob. It opened up to reveal a small dark room. Gazing inside, the door slammed shut behind me. I should have been expecting that, though. Especially since this was Sela’s domain.
From the dark recesses of the room, a light began to glow from the ceiling. It was faint at first, but slowly, it illuminated the room to reveal that I was in a cell. Turning around, I saw Sela on the other side of the cell door talking to another version, or a copy, of myself. The cell itself was completely bare. It had no bed nor chairs, and the walls were a depressing grey. Through the door, Sela and the other version of myself disappeared, before Sela reappeared in the cell with me.
”Let me out, Sela. this isn’t funny,” I stated, unhappy with being trapped by any means.
“I don’t have the key. He does,” Sela said, before pointing at a small man who I had not noticed in the cell before now. He wore a mask similar to the masked figure that tortured me. But unlike that monster, this person was balled up in the corner, hugging his knees. Tears were flowing from the eye holes in the mask, dripping to the floor every few seconds. To add to that, this small man was mumbling something to himself rapidly like a madman.
“Don’t fuck with me, Sela!” I yelled, grabbing Sela’s chiton collar, and lifting the being towards the cell door. “You need to let me out, now!” I was seething. I didn’t want to be trapped again. What did Sela think that was going to accomplish?
Sela smirked at my attempt, and the next thing I knew, I was flung back against the cell wall. The masked person in the corner didn’t even take notice of me and kept mumbling nonsense. “You can get out when you get the keys from him. Until then, one of the other parts of your psyche will take over for a bit. He’s the cold, rational part of you, so he’ll make a perfect stand-in for when you’re awake.”
“You bastard,” I said to Sela through gritted teeth as they disappeared. Looking over at the broken down man in the corner, I sighed and sat across from him. What was I going to do now?
***
Lou’s more logical self woke up to the sound of fearful screams ringing in his ear. It wasn’t until a moment later that he realized; the screams were his own. Gathering himself, he got up from the bed and hobbled into the living room with a bit of a pained limp. It was still dark outside, so he assumed it was early in the morning. It made him feel glad, less to explain and more time to consider his options. Sitting down on the couch, he picked up a bottle of rum from the floor beside it. He delicately pulled the cork with a pop, lifting it up to his lips, he figured it would help with the pain for the time being. Just as he was about to taste the spiced liquor, a hand from above grabbed his wrist, stopping him from taking a swig. The hand squeezed his wrist to the point that, had he been a normal person, he would have been crying for mercy.
“What do you think you’re doing?” the owner of the hand asked with a stern but worried voice. Lou tilted his head back to see that it was Scott, giving him an angry and partially exhausted look.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked before drinking your booze,” Lou said apologetically. Although he wasn’t entirely sure how his emotions would play into this conversation, he figured that the best way to avoid an issue was to just apologize. At least, it seemed like the easiest way to deal with the issue.
“That’s not what I care about. You were about to drown whatever feelings you were having in liquor. You can’t do that,” Scott replied. Although, anyone who knew him would call him a hypocrite for saying that. Lou just sat there confused as he was only trying to deal with some physical pain.
“Why not? You do it,” Lou replied with a melancholy tone. Scott’s free hand clenched into a fist before hitting Lou in the cheek, sending him to the floor. The bottle he was holding fell with him, pouring its contents onto the floorboards.
“I drink because my body can’t regulate itself without it. Maybe, when I started drinking, I used my sadness as an excuse. But now, my body is the only reason I continue drinking. Now, let me tell you, what you’re bottling up can’t be solved by drinking it away. The more you bottle it up, the more likely you are to lose your sanity,” Scott said empathetically. He truly seemed to care and wanted to help, even though he knew he had no right to speak.
“I’m perfectly fine, I just needed a drink,” Lou stated as he got back up and returned to the couch. Being the logical part of Lou’s psyche, he was desperately trying to give himself some semblance of feeling other than pain for the time being. If that meant drinking, so be it.
“No, you aren’t. You put on an act yesterday for me and Elysif. Whether it was to make us less worried or to make yourself feel better, it doesn’t matter. No person, after being tortured for as long as you were, would be okay. Right now, your emotions feel distant, when before, you seemed happy and well off,” Scott said with a worried look. He truly looked to be appealing to Lou’s trauma, but as he was, Lou could not relate to nor understand his appeals.
“So what? I’m dealing with it just fine as I am,” Lou said, hoping that response would discourage Scott from continuing. After doing so, he picked the bottle of rum back up and drank some of the contents.
“No, you aren’t. You’re just trying to cover it up with rum. Eventually, you will be unable to keep the cap on the emotions that you’ve bottled up. When that happens, you may lose your sanity, or worse, your humanity. I’ve been there, so I speak from experience. Don’t just bottle it up,” Scott pleaded with the same manner that he usually spoke.
“I’m sorry. You’re wasting your breath on me. I am nothing more than a splinter of Lou Barrett, a small piece of his psyche. When he returns, then you can say that to him,” Lou replied honestly. He knew that Scott would not understand the situation if he didn’t explain it as straightforwardly as possible.
“What?” Scott asked with a befuddled shake of his head. He was starting to believe that Lou had actually lost it. Scott didn’t want to think about that possibility but he was still capable of accepting it.
“Lou Barrett is currently trapped in a cage of his own making and Sela, the time god, has asked me to take over while he regains the missing parts of our psyche. I am nothing more than his logical thinking. I don’t have emotions and I can’t relate to what you’re saying. So wait to tell him that, until he’s actually able to hear it,” Lou explained. Though, his explanation was a bit difficult to understand, so Scott nodded slowly as he wrapped his head around it. Part of him felt as if Lou had absolutely lost his mind.
“I see, do what you want then. Just don’t get yourself or any of us killed,” Scott said, before meandering back to his room.
“Are you going to tell this to Elysif?” Lou asked. Explaining this to Elysif, though, would be a lot more challenging. Not because she wouldn’t understand, but because it would make everything way more complicated than it already was. Scott, upon hearing this, stood still, refusing to look back.
“I don’t know yet,” Scott said with a sigh.
“I feel as if Lou would want as few people to know that he isn’t okay, so please, don’t tell her for his sake,” Lou requested.
“I can’t promise that,” he responded before continuing to his room.
“Of course you can’t. You know it’s logical, but you have emotions that say otherwise,” Lou said to himself before laying back on the couch and taking another swig from the bottle. “I think this cheek might be bruised,” he thought to himself. Though it quickly healed over, as if he had never been hit.
ns 15.158.61.23da2
