81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFZoGLbFQy
The water was very blue and still as I sat in the shallow end, listening to the other students as they did their lessons. Coach Jess had set me up to do some static apnea, and as I sat there, I felt nothing but complete calm. I had no idea how long I'd been underwater for, but I wasn't focusing on that. Down here, below the surface, I had no worries - no feuding parents, no abuse, no name-calling, nothing. It was just me and the underwater world, and no one could take that from me.
It wasn't long before the first contractions started coming, but I focused on keeping calm and not letting my slowly depleting air worry me. Coach Jess had told me not to push myself, and to come up for air when it grew harder to hold my breath. A few more contractions came before I took her advice and stood, breathing deeply to flush the excess carbond dioxide from my system. "2.12," Coach Jess told me. "That was pretty impressive. How'd you manage to stay under for so long?"
"Just keeping my mind off everything else but being underwater," I admitted. "I wasn't worried about air, or lack thereof."
Coach Jess cracked her trademark lopsided smile which never failed to make me a bit weak in the knees. "That's very impressive," she said. "You could become a freediver if you really put your mind to it."
"I'd like that," I said. To be honest, I'd often fantasized about becoming a freediver, going deep underwater on a single breath and seeing how far down I could dive. I wasn't interested about records, to be sure - it was more the idea of being deep under the surface with just the water for company that appealed to me. "Is there any way I can learn?" I asked.
"Not from me," Coach Jess admitted. "But I can put you in touch with someone who can. Hell, I'd pay for your lessons myself if I could."
I nodded. Coach Jess, like all my teachers, would go above and beyond. But my parents were as jealous of me as Dad was of Mum, and neither would ever let me get away from them, even if it meant locking me away forever and never letting me see the light of day. They'd threatened to do so many times when I was growing up, but only now were they starting to show signs of actually doing it. It was why I checked the mailbox anxiously that afternoon when I got home, only to find nothing there yet again. Of course, any letters addressed to me would have already been opened, and when I entered the house, I felt the simmering temper like the prelude to an almighty thunderstorm.
I soon discovered the source when I entered the kitchen, and Mum's eyes narrowed as she flung an opened letter at me. "A scholarship," she said flatly. "You've got a scholarship. Why?"
I took a deep breath as I read the letter, noting that I had, as I'd hoped, been accepted to Oxford University to study literature, and a place on their swim team. I knew Coach Jess had pulled some strings to get it done despite knowing what the fallout was going to be, and I thanked her silently, while simultaneously cursing my parents for being so damned jealous and clingy. "I guess I got some good grades," I said.
Mum rolled her eyes. "You're not taking it," she said.
"Why?" I demanded, finally losing a bit of my temper.
"You're taking that tone with me?" Mum warned. "I can still beat you into the middle of next week, and I know how to hurt you in ways no one can see, especially that whore you call your swim coach! How often have you ..."
"Stop!" I yelled, glaring at her. Her eyes widened, but I refused to be cowed this time as I ploughed over her. "I haven't even gone near Coach Jess, and even I know better than to get involved with my swim coach! She'd never work in this town again if it came out she was sleeping with her student!"
Mum opened her mouth, but I rode right over her. "And you can't stop me from taking this scholarship!" I added, waving the letter at her. "It's been paid in full, and I'll wager Principal Smiths has already written to the dean of Oxford to make sure it happens! And do you want to know why? It's because I'm good at literature, and I can swim rings around most of my peers. I earned every last blood pence of this, and if you think you can smother me into submission like you did when I was a child, you can damn well forget about it! If I have to hitch a ride to Oxford, I damn well will, and if I have to walk, I'll fucking walk! Do I make myself clear?"
Dead silence fell as I let the last words leave my lips, but I wasn't backing down, and Mum stared at me as if she'd never seen me before. It was probably because I'd never stood up to her so vehemently, and the shock of it showed as she took a deep breath. "You're lucky your father isn't here," she warned, but the heat had left her voice and her eyes. "I only wanted what was best..."
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up," I told her, spitting the words out. "You wanted me to stay with you forever and be your little boy. You wanted to turn me into a replacement husband, and possibly try and fuck me to have another son to fuck up like the way you tried to fuck me up. Guess what? It's not happening. Go find another boy toy. I'm through. The minute school finishes, I'm getting the fuck out of here and moving to Oxford. Oh, and my friends do give two shits about me, just for the record."
Mum opened her mouth again, but I glared at her with all the fury I could muster, and she wisely refrained from further comment. Instead, she left the kitchen, and moments later, I heard her bedroom door slam with enough force to rattle the walls. I wanted to run up and apologise to her, but the feel of the letter still tightly clutched in my hand reminded me of just what I'd won by finally blowing my stack after so many years. I folded it up and put it in my bag before going upstairs. I did stop outside Mum's room long enough to take my phone out and delete the tracking app, and when I heard her swear, I smiled thinly as I went into my room and shut the door behind. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have been able to uninstall the app, but Dominic had shown me how to get around the controls Mum had used to ensure I couldn't remove it, and I felt a strange, but thrilling sense of accomplishment.
The one downside was the fact my parents would now probably pull out all stops to prevent me from leaving. But I had the power back in my hands, and it was time to take full advantage of this brief lull.
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