I believed that death in a way would hold romantic and intimate settings with skies of our passionate desires. Now I see that the skies here are vast void with no meaning other than just the unobtainable remainder of life. I couldn’t seem to grasp the reason why I believe that school was essential to my story of death. Perhaps it was because it was on those grand marble steps I had evoked emotion within my love and painted the whole scene a glorious and triumphant red. I remember looking up and finding that hands were stretching across the sky.
My bike would serve as my transportation if I could find it then maybe I would-, no it was an idiotic thought no matter what I had done, I would not fnd my love in this world of purgatory, not by own works. Even then I wish that she lives a long life and lives a life of joy rather than one I could not bear with my own eyes.
I would encounter her riding her bike on some mornings and our conversation would ast briefly but within that short amount of time she would smile at me. Not the same lonely one she gave to those people she called friends that would bring me sorrow but this was a genuine one that brought me joy. Her cheeks, the calla in the sun at full bloom and her eyes, elegantly serene. Her locks of brown hair that couldn't be contained under her helmet each time I found myself tempted to reach out and caress it between my fingers.
Our meetings would become shorter by seconds every single time and what used to be a stable conversation dwindled down to moments. Still no matter how short our exchange, I could still manage to evoke laughter within her and that was the only thing that made the next day worth suffering through. Yet he would usher her away and with that draining the joy that had set my skies ablaze with serene.
This was of course one of the many reasons I came to resent him, he had provided an overwhelming plethora of reasons to become sallow in his presence. To conceal my only love far as heaven to s from hell is what I would have said in life as the whole universe existed in between. However now in my current state I've learned that line is thin in comparison to how far thy hands are from thy love in the realm of living.
"Good mornin', Lune." The fact she called me by name alone of those mornings left me overwhelmed and flustered. She knew who I was, she knew my name, the static within me pressed against my face and for once my cheeks and my world were colored in rose.
"Good morning, Sattame." This was when it was easy to talk to her, when she wasn't wrapped up and engulfed within a tossing sea it was impossible to reach her, but then the waters were still and she would hear every word. No outside force dictating our communication, this was a realm of safety.
"You seem to be in a good mood today, everythin' is workin' out today?" She was able to identify my emotions too. That morning too I was in a particularly good mood as she had stayed, mostly with excitement for the fact that I knew exactly what my Achilles' shield of the day would be the moment I laid eyes on her.
"How could you tell?" I asked, my breath was close to staggering and I couldn't wipe the grin from my face and I didn't feel the slightest bit delirious.
" Well you called me by name which happens so rarely I sometimes believe you have forgotten my name." Which for the sake of those listening I must establish that that is something I'd never do. "Also you said good mornin' instead of 'oh hey' which normally makes it sound like something is wrong." Did I really make it that obvious whenever I was upset, over did she study me so closely she knew the difference, after all this would happen every morning. My head rushed with thoughts that were vapid and null as they never reached the real world. They were lost eternally now.
"I wouldn't say I'm particularly happy, there's just nothing to be upset about"
"I honestly wish I could say the same, may I steal some of those good vibes?" I couldn't understand what she meant by that, afterall I never believed in auras but I always imagined that if I did have one mine would be so faint not even a person sitting next to me would feel it.
"I would if I knew how to." For some reason that made her laugh.
" Me too bro, me too." It didn't matter why she laughed, I loved it, the noise that erupted from her mouth, the slight pulsation of her body. If I reached out I could easily trace my fingers down her neck, from her chin to her clavicle.
"Sattame! You left the bus stop without me?" So here comes the bane of my existence, the one whose hate for me is without an end reaching to any extent to ensure I suffer. Ever since we were assigned the same playgroup in preschool he has emitted nothing but suffering upon my miserable and sorrowful life. A sadist as such was naturally drawn to my misfortune from the moment we met and continued to torture me my whole life.
It was hard to tell whether he was actually friends with Sattame or was trying to keep me away from her to induce more suffering upon my life or a decent mix of both. Either way he served as the obstreperous block between me and my serene-eyed angel of mercy. "Sorry I need to go catch up with my cousin, I'll see you later." Hearing his voice was my immediate indication that this conversation had to be cut short much to my misfortune.
"Oh I see." She turned her face away from me for a brief moment before looking back up again. "Family's very important. Have a nice day." If only I could have a nice day, but at that time there were too many obstacles separating me from my only joy in life.
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