Ch 3. The Hardy Party
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For the last couple of hours, not many people were given attention. But... We got some, at least! It is better than none! Of course, as expected, they are still depressed. But they are interested in our plan and goals. And Joey was doing a drawing advertisement of a “Share our Happiness” entertainment sign and picture we drew. Kayla, Mako, and Marco did a music and signing, rapping advertisement. The people looked a little positive. But not positive enough. We had a reasonable conversation with every helping word we could tell them. They understood. And with that, more positive feelings rose from 15 to 45%! They also supported us and let other people know. Things are getting in progress!
We were so relieved that we had a party at my Guardian Mother's house. Sort of. My Guardian Mom (Enetty) ordered Domino's pizza for dinner. She was also talking to her friend Benji about the great news. She was also proud of our hard work and of what we were doing. My biological mom (Melinda) and her wife, my stepmom (Karen), (I'll call her Special K cause her first letter starts with K) were here too. I was talking to them about the great news, too. “Gabe, that's so relieving to hear about!” my bio mom said. “It has been good that you're coming up with such an amazing job to help everybody in need!” my stepmom added. Now that I think about helping people with sadness to gladness, helping EVERYBODY is going to be a tough job. But if it is worth getting my friends and family, and including everyone, back to their happy lives. Then It will be a goal. I am determined to achieve it for the sake of our lord. Jesus Crist. That's right. You heard me. I said the lord's name in vain. I have a right to. Cause he's always happy whenever we are happy together or in any way we are. So I want to make the world back to a happy, beautiful place just like he wants the world to be like that! He’s always pleased for us to be that way.
Meanwhile, my guardian Mother is talking with one of her friends, "Benji" who may talk about him always giving my Guardian Mother a massage. And he's good at it too. My guardian Mother is a hard-working mother who has been taking care of all 5 of me, Mako, and 3 of my every day naughty siblings. Benji usually comes around to hang out with my guardian mom a lot. He enjoys checking in to make sure she's ok and safe. And completely and calmly relaxed. One of my siblings, Munashae, my youngest brother, or should I say, “Oh brother”, keeps asking people if there's more food to eat. Like what I secretly do. Yet, we're both always still hungry.
My other younger brother Simba's asking for more pizza, too. Not that he's hungry like my other brother and me. My youngest sister Shamiso does her funny girly dance moves every once in a while, while eating her food getting off her chair and repeatedly dancing again. It's funny how she does it. She's just like Mako. I guess she looks up to her and us. So do my brothers. I look up to everybody I know around here. Now that I think about it, I suddenly feel less positive.“I'm hoping our hard work plan will succeed for all of us,” I told my Bio and step-moms. “I know it's not like we stay happy forever. It's like we stay happy every once in a while forever. However, if that doesn't work at all, how will God help us now?” I asked with fear.
My moms gave me a cheerful smile. “Gabe, God may not always help us with things that we're not able to handle, control, or even understand. But as long as we have faith, whether we bring back our happy, joyful lives or not. We still have our happy joyful memories,” my bio mom concluded. “That's right,” my stepmom Special K added. “Our past is always part of us”. “Yeah if we don't FORGET the past,” I also added in an anxious tone. Another down part is not only do we have good memories, but we also have bad ones too. “Yes, that's true,” Special K agreed. “We'll be okay, love,” my bio mom commented. I felt a little better at the moment. “Of course”. I replied to them.
#
Later on, we heard a knock on the door. It was Mako's best friend Maria who came. She didn't look good, though. She looked very upset. Mako looked concerned about Maria's facial expression. She could tell something was wrong. Or something happened. “Are you okay?” Mako asked. Maria looked terrified, like something she had just seen was just so horrifying. She barely shook her head. “Some of our friends fought each other. Physically!” she responded in an almost shaky voice. Mako looked shocked. “What?!” she snapped. She didn't mean to snap at her in my opinion. She's just hearing the complete, unexpected response. As we all heard her shout, things aren't looking too good.
We were all frozen and confused by her tone of voice. Even the kids stopped their mischief. “Why are you shouting, Mako?” My guardian's mom asked. Mako ignored her question by asking a new question from her. “What happened? What the heck is going on?”. “I, I... I don't know,” Maria replied. “It, it just...It just happened suddenly so fast. There was just too much going on all at once. They were arguing about some kind of place where all the fun happens until then violence appeared straight out of nowhere.” She sobs with unwanted tears. Unless they were tears of joy. No. They weren't like happy, relieved tears at all. “Something happened,” I thought to myself. Nobody liked where this was going at all. I wanted no more negativity to rise. So I had to put a stop to this.
“Um, Maria, whatever happened, I'm very sorry. Why don't you join us for our Cele-” “No, Gabe, stop!” Mako interrupted me right at the moment when I was trying to cool them off. “You have no right to tell us what to do! Leave us be.”. “Hey! I was just trying to help! We just got into our happy place,” I said back. “Happy place?!” she shouted. Uh oh. I think I made her mad now. But why?
“You think after what I just heard and saw from Maria, we just automatically think about something happy?!”. Marco now had to step in. “Yo, chill, there's no need for that.” “NO! You don't tell me to chill. I ain't chilling from nothing from whatever happened with her just now?”. Now things have just gone wrong. “Makombereho”. My guardian's mom called Mako in an unhappy tone. If you're going to bring all of that now, bring it somewhere else. “Yeah, wouldn't want any more chaos of this, “Joey agreed.” Hold on, Who. Are. You. Calling. Chaos? Keep your damn dirty nose out of this! “Mako angrily talked back. She's getting even more furious than ever. But Joey, I wouldn't want to make him mad either. Especially telling something like that. Joey now had his dark evil look on his face, like you should not have called him that.
“Joey, she didn't mean it. She's just upset. “.” You know dang well I'm more than upset. Don't you read our faces? “Mako talked back again with even more anger. Marco had to pause me, except I still wanted to convince her.” Gabe, just don't-“,” Actually I do. “I summoned with anger.” I can tell, things aren't going as we wanted to be. But since we're in a position where all we don't want to have at all for right now, is no anger, sadness, no negativity at all. We are supposed to work on ourselves to bring joy back to existence! We can feel nothing that's not what we're not supposed to feel! “. Now it's silence. But not for over 2 seconds.” What do you mean we're not allowed to feel what we can and can't feel? “Kayla asked suspiciously. Everyone looked at me. I don't even know if that's what I meant. Either way, I mean it, I don't think there's a difference.
“I, I, don't know at this point,” I responded. “Can you blame me for thinking about that?”. “YES!”. Of course, I heard Mako reply, but most of the whole group did though. I think I said something I should not have said to them. But in the end. It doesn't matter, anyway. “We're already suffering from what we're all trying to avoid. Yet we still are!”. “That doesn't mean we can't feel anything for ourselves, Gabe!” my guardian mom lectured. “Exactly!” Benji added. Don't make this as difficult as it has to be! “WHY NOT?! “.” Excuse me? “My guardian mom yelled after I shouted at her. Now everyone is looking depressed than ever. Including me, of course.” NO. Excuse me! I do not excuse you. I'm not gonna let us suffer this anymore! If we give up now, it's over! The more the darkness takes over us, the worse it'll be for the rest of our lives! “Which is what we're all feeling right now!” Joey screamed. “Well, what do you think we've all been doing? Huh?”
Everything and everyone is collapsing with an extreme manifest! The kids are screaming with tears of fear. My other moms looked completely anxious about what was happening, while the rest were yelling at me and as I was yelling at them. And as for the rest of the other people are looking at us like we're baffling. “What is wrong with you people? Do you want to get better or not?!”. “Gabe! Shut up!” “Gabe! Stop it right now!”, “You better quit!”, “just let it go!”. So many voices calling out that it's stuck repeatedly in my head. And now, I'm about to say something I'm going to regret saying out of all my anger. “I don't get all of your points at all! What in good tarnation do you all not understand? If we’re gonna suffer this endless nightmare! Then so somebody Kill me now for existence just like y’all!”....... There. I said it. Out of nowhere. The wrong words I was trying to say just got impatient and just fired, anyway.
It's all eternal silence again. No interruptions this time. All our faces are just shocked. Even for me, I was expecting to say something out of anger. “.....”. I didn't know what to say next. Until. “Look at us. Full of depression. Endless of sadness-”, “Don't you start that again,” Special K warned me before I say anything else. I was going to say something, anyway. “That's... That’s what I thought. What... what exactly brought us to this manifest?” I threw my pencil that I was holding and then ran out of the house. Leaving everyone in full silence still. “Y’all live your own emotions. I’ll find my own.” As I left. Those were my last words for the party.
And I asked a good unknown question indeed. Whatever happened to our happy lives? I couldn't forgive myself at all after those words. But all I know now is, “Only god knows what'll happen next. Though. Where in the world happened to our inner peace, and our lives most of all?” I anxiously wondered while walking out of the complex of my neighborhood. But I know whenever I'm down with any emotions, or I'm not enable to talk to anyone I can talk to, I know one place that will keep me calm. And that place would be the last place that would cheer me up. Let's at least hope it still will be peaceful.
Not only did I lose my positives, but I think I just lost everyone. And myself. And like I said way before. We can experience these sorts of feelings, as emotions. It can put us down in the dumps. But now, what now? What person or thing can get us back to our standing tall feet? No one knows for sure this time. It just hurts me so much, that whenever I try to help, they may say I’m not helping enough, I’m not saying the right words to say, and especially what I did just now out of my unwanted emotion; anger, which is what caused this to happen somehow it got out of control, I guess I just don’t tend to make things better by doing and showing I’m trying to make things better, I just tend to make things worse. Way worse indeed. “We need help,” I prayed to myself.
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