A/N: I am going a completely different way with this now. I've been trying to keep it cheerful, but as someone personally affected by depression, I thought I should address it. As it's a taboo subject and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, I figured I should warn you lovely people that this is a touchy subject. This is my personal interpretation and I don't want anyone to be offended by my personal take on such a matter. Thank you all!
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, depression, sensitive topics.
Depression is a dark room, curled up in a ball, unable to move. It looks like a person faking a smile, never letting it reach their eyes. It's the way a person's shoulders sag whenever they feel like a burden on others. It's slightly red and puffy eyes that are hidden behind concealer or sunglasses. It's scars that are exposed when sleeves slide away from wrists.
Depression doesn't always sound like a gut wrenching sobbing. It can sound like a reassurance of "I'm fine" and "I can handle this." It can sound like stifling silence, the inability to get any words out.
The smell of sharp, metallic blood being rinsed down the sink so no one sees it is a constant reminder. It smells of cleaning products that remove the stains that the people have to hide from everyone else, and of hospitals and sterilization.
Depression tastes like bile rising in my throat, that I fight to swallow down. It tastes of salt, of tears. It tastes of the bitterness of a dry, sticky mouth, unable to form words and unable to beg for help.
It feels like a weight on my chest and shoulders, or a hand squeezing my lungs. The way nails bite into palms, reassuring me that I'm not completely numb to everything. When hands shake and are unable to grip anything without showing trembling fingertips, the cold fingers of aching emptiness are always there.
A/N: I promised myself that I wouldn't go too far, but it looks like I ended up turning this into a very bad time and I cried a little to be honest... Anyway, I shall try to find a happier emotion next time since this was a bit of a downer. Anyway, I hope you lovelies enjoyed this or felt that I wrote something with depth and meaning. My main goal in life is to always try to help people. If you feel this way, self harm, or are suicidal, please seek help! I don't know who you are personally, but you matter, and people do care. My grandfather worked at a hospital ward that handled suicides for two years, and every time they lost someone, it would affect them, even though they didn't personally know the person. Just having to watch someone with their whole life ahead of them give up can break a complete stranger's heart.
If you need help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
This subject is incredibly important to me, and on the 16th of September I actually had to go through the anniversary of the death of one of my best friends, so the topic has been weighing heavily on my mind this week. Anyway, it's an incredibly important matter that should be spoken about, so I hope that depression can be viewed as a less taboo subject in the coming years.
-EnnaStark
ns 15.158.61.11da2
