The revolutionaries did not want me to stay with my older sister or momma. They did not like that people were proclaiming me as the new King of France and when momma knelt in front of me and said I was the new king, that was too much for the revolutionaries. They told momma that I would no longer be with her.
Momma clenched on to me and begged them to let her continue to be my mother. The guards had his orders and told momma to let go of me. I was 8 years old and the recent imprisonment and the execution of my father were too much for me. Now my momma was being taken away. I started crying and begging momma that I could stay with her. The tug of war continued over an hour. In the end, one of the guards put a gun to my head and told momma he would kill me if she did not let me go.
Momma stopped fighting and she gave me a hug telling me to remember my catholic faith and that she loved me.
I was dragged away from momma. I was crying at the top of my lungs and shouting that I did not want to go. Momma stood bravely holding on to my sister's hand. My sister would also be taken away from her. I never felt so sad that I did at the moment. The guards were also laughing because they said that I was crying like a girl. I was taken to a cell below where I met my new guardians.
There were an older man and woman. The man's name was Antoine Simon. They had peasants tattered clothes on them and wore the red, white and blue ribbon. The man was half-shaved and he was so dirty and smelled of alcohol. His wife looked a bit tidier, but her hair looked like it should get a good brushing. I stood there just looking at the two that were supposed to take care of me. I bowed slightly and said hello.
This made the man laugh and ask the guards if they were not supposed to come with a boy. He thought I was a girl. He took me by the ear which made me scream and showed me a small bed in the corner of the cell. He told me that I would sleep here.
I threw myself on the bed and refused to get up. Mr. Simon just slapped me all over my body and hit me in my ribs asking me did I have permission to lay down. I was not going to move. I was in pain from the slaps and punches, but far worse than this was the state of my mind. I could not help myself. I just started crying and crying. Mr. Simon was annoyed and mad. His wife told him to leave me there. When I was hungry I would get up.
As I laid there, I heard my two guardians talk with the men from the government. They were told that I was to be a productive republican, that supported the new Republic. My Royal blood had to be cleaned out of me. It was the guardian's job in helping me to understand my new position and status in the new Republic of France.
I was 8 years old and since my father was executed, I felt like my life was changed forever. Momma knelt down and proclaimed me as the new king of France. We heard that most of Europe also recognized me as the new king. I heard some rumors that Austra and Prussia were now attacking France to restore the monarchy.
This made me think that I was moved to make sure I was a supporter of the Republic. This did not stop me from crying for two days. I missed my momma and my sister. I missed my father that was in heaven. I wanted things to be the way they always were. I did not want to be the king of France. I just wanted to be with my family. Now I was in this dark and smelly cell with a man and a woman that I did not know. They would poke me once in a while and ask if I was finished crying and feeling sorry for myself. I would just cry on.
After two days there was nothing left in me. I was hungry. I slowly got up and went to the woman and asked her if I could get some food. She smiled and gave me some dry bread and some water. Her husband came and threw the water off the table and told me I could learn how to drink beer. I tasted it and it was disgusting, which made him laugh. He slapped me across the face and told me I had to learn to like it.
After breakfast, he threw some clothes on the bed and told me to change. I picked them up and looked at him without saying a word. He laughed nearly dropping his bear telling me that if I looked like a girl and acted like one, I could be one. I thought about refusing to put a dress on, but I knew that he would only hit me or worse. So I took off the clothes that showed I was a prince or even a king. Then I put this white dress that went just below my knees. It had lace around the neck and the arms. The woman looked in shock and said I looked so much like a girl. She put a red bonnet on me and told me that I now looked like a Republican.
I was then told to start cleaning the cell. I never cleaned anything before in my life, so I did not have a clue what to do. The woman was nice enough to show me how to scrub floors and wash things down. I used all day washing the cell down, although I could not see a difference, as the smoke from Mr. Simons pipe and the limited light made the cell look more than a cave.
Even when I cleaned, I would not have time to rest. Mr. Simon sat in the chair and would demand me to get him what he needed. I did not like him. He did not know how to read and didn't seem very smart. He sang songs that were rude and not proper and the man swore a lot. If he thought that I was slow, he would punch me and laugh if the pain made me cry. He would only call me Capet, saying that Louis made me sound like a king. After a while, I even forgot that my name was Louis.
If I was close by the window, I could hear my mother cry as she was just above us. This made me feel very sad. If I asked Mr. Simon if I could see my mom or sister, he would laugh and hit me as he told me that I was a bastard. My father was not the real king. My mom was a whore that slept with a Swedish baron and many others. He would tell me that I had to know the truth and that mom was a whore and I was a bastard. He would hit me until I admitted that I was a bastard.
He got mad one day after I was let out in the garden. The guards were humiliating me and teasing me that I was dressed as a girl. They were asking if I was a princess or just a sissy. I did not respond and just continued to pick flowers. I told Mrs. Simon that they would make the cell look better. This made her smile and say that I even thought like a girl. She did not notice that I dropped some outside momma's cell as we went back to our own cell.
Mrs. Simon was a nice enough woman. She would help wash me every day and brush my hair. She loved putting it in pigtails. She told me about her life. She was married to Mr. Simon. He was nice in his younger days, but every time he tried to do a job he failed at it. He tried owning his own business but that also failed. Now the revolution was all that he thought about. It was him that offered to be my guardian. He wanted me to be a strong republican and be loyal to a Republican France.
Mr. Simon could be nice and at times, he made me laugh. Mostly I was afraid of him. I was afraid especially if he was drunk. Once he started hitting me and throwing me around in the cell. When I was on the ground, he started kicking me. The pain was so much that I thought that I would die. I begged him to stop. He just laughed and continued hitting me. After this, I would look at the new bruises on my body. There more and more of them every day.
Once when he wanted me to drink beer, I said no in a very polite way. He asked me was I not good enough for a beer. After he beat me up, he told me that I would be executed like my dad. He said that I still thought that I was the new king of France. I did not deserve the red Revolution bonnet on me. After this, I could not sleep well, as I dreamt of the guillotine. I would wake up and sweat.
One day, a teenager came up to deliver food. He had this strange look on his face. When he was asked why he was staring, he answered that he thought the Dauphin was here. Mr. Simon laughed and told the boy that I was a boy that liked wearing dresses. I felt so humiliated and especially when Mr. Simon asked if this was not true. I did not dare to say no so I admitted that I liked being a girl. The boy was shocked.
The fact is I did not mind wearing the dress. I didn't like that it was not clean like it once was. However, I did not mind being a girl. I know Mrs. Simon liked paying attention to me and doing nice things like brushing my hair. She often said that I made a better girl than a boy.
A part of Mr. Simons's ambition was to make a republican and a normal French boy... I mean person. He would teach me the nasty songs, that were rude and even pornographic. He would teach me songs that teased the royal family and the aristocracy and of course he taught me songs that praised the new Republic. I loved singing but did not always understand what the songs mean especially pornographic ones. When he told me what they meant, I felt weak and sick. I never asked him again in explaining the songs, but that did not stop him from telling me.
He also wanted me to swear. He explained that only kings and queens did not swear, so he taught me all the words that he thought I should know. At first, I did not want to swear as I was certain that momma could hear everything above us. If I did not swear, he would start hitting me again. Swearing became a part of my normal language.
One thing that he loved was making me drink so much beer that I got drunk. Then I would sing the filthy songs and swear as bad as everyone else. Mr. Simon was sure that this was a sign that I was no longer a Royal. Getting drunk was as bad as being hit. I would be so sick afterward and my head would be in pain. On top of that, I would have so much guilt because I was sure that momma could hear me when I was drunk.
This went on. I was now nearly10 and still stuck in the cell. I never was allowed to see my sister or my momma. I was stuck in this cell with two people. I admit that I also changed. I was now a republican. I started believing the stories about momma and everything she has done wrong. I believed that a king was not good for France. I was even proud of my red revolution bonnet. On top of all this, I no longer considered myself a boy, I swore a lot and did not mind the taste of beer. This meant that I was drunk a lot.
I did not pray to God either. I was mad at him for so many things.
I tried my best to make Mr. Simon happy. I was still afraid of him when he was drunk. I had some bruises on my body and some scars. I had swollen legs or arms at times. There was no place to hide when he was mad.
I remember once that I was standing beside the window. Mr. Simon was drunk and could hardly stand up. I could hear momma crying above and wanted so much to go up and give her a hug. Mr. Simon picked up a broomstick. He raised the broomstick. He was going to hit me again. I don't know why I said it, but I shouted: “When will that bitch of a whore die?”
Mr. Simon started laughing. He wanted to drink beer with me. He was so proud that I finally said something like that. I smiled, but deep inside me, I was crying and so mad at myself. What if momma heard me? Would she think that I didn't love her anymore? What sort of person have I become. I was now living as a girl that now got drunk a lot and had a foul mouth. Did momma hear me when I sang those nasty songs?
It was shortly after this that Mr. Simon was drunk and beat me up until he gave me a black eye. After he finished, he fell asleep on the chair while Mrs. Simon did the best she could ease the pain her husband inflicted on me. I asked her when I could see momma or my sister. She did not get a chance to answer as Mr. Simon woke up and was mad that I even asked the question. Once again I was being punched and thrown about. I was crying so hard that it just made him hit me more. In the end, he asked me if I was the king, what revenge would do against him? I looked up at him and remembered my father's last words. “I would forgive you”
Things changed after that. It was like he respected me more. He would still hit me and demand that I sang the nasty songs. However, a nicer side came from him. He did not call me bastard as much and he even told me what was happening in France. He even gave me presents such as games and cards. One day he gave me a toy canary as a present. I had this toy beside my bed.
Two men from the government came to check up on me. They were happy that my answers supported the Republic and I admitted that I did not want to be the king and France should have no monarchy. The two men were shocked that I was dressed like a girl and they demanded that I would be treated as a boy. So I got some boy's clothes to wear.
I asked them if I could see momma and my sister. They told me that this was not possible at this time. Years later, I found out that France was at war, and the European armies wanted to save the monarchy. The government wanted to tell the world that I was now a republican. The only problem they had was my momma.
I lived in a confusing world. I knew that European countries considered me as the king of France and many French people thought I was the king. I was only 9 years and I did not understand all this politics. I just wanted to be with my family and not be beaten up all the time. I did not realize that I was a symbol of the monarchy. People were not interested in me as a person, they were interested in me as a symbol. This is why the government was insistent that I would be a republican.
Up to now, he had beaten me so my body was covered with black and blue marks. Sometimes my arms and legs were swollen. There were even times when I could not walk as I sprained my ankle during a beating. As time went by, Mr. Simon also began to see me less than a symbol that he hated. He could see that I was a republican and was even proud of wearing the red republican bonnet. I was shocked one day when he called me “son”. It was like he decided that he wanted to adopt me.
I knew that his wife always had a soft side for me. She comforted me when I was beaten up or humiliated. She always wanted a daughter, and when I was forced to wear girl dresses, she would treat me like her daughter. So overall things were going better for me.
Despite that Mr. Simon liked me, he still could be a tyrant when he was drunk. Once, he was speaking with the guards and drinking. When they were all drunk, Mr. Simon demanded that I sing one of the filthy songs. The songs people would sing in some bar. Songs that were nearly pornographic and that had many swear words. I refused to sing it because I was standing beside the window and could hear momma crying. I did not want her to hear me sing such songs. Mr. Simon demanded that I sang the song. I still refused. This resulted in the worse beating in my life. He took a cane and hit me all over my body with it. I quickly collapsed to the ground and tried to curl up in a ball. This did not stop him. He kept on hitting me. The pain was unbearable and I had no voice to beg him to stop.
I thought he was killing me. Everything went black.
When I woke up, I could not move a bone and I had pains all over me. Mrs. Simon was sitting beside me rubbing my forehead with a wet cloth. She was telling me that I should learn to do everything her husband wanted and especially when he was drunk. I looked up to her and couldn't say a word. I spent my 10th birthday in pain on my cot,
A few days later, some men from the government came by. Mr. Simon warned me to tell them the truth. They asked me lots of questions about what life was like as a Dauphin. I told them the truth. Then they started asking me about momma. They wanted me to say that she had a lot of dresses and jewelry and wanted to know if she talked a lot about Austria. I told them the truth. Momma did have lots of dresses and she talked a lot about when she was a princess in Austria.
Then he placed some paper before me and told me that I was a good republican, especially if I signed this. I read it and read something about momma wanted Austria to invade France. The letter said I was also a bastard because momma was unfaithful. Finally, it said that momma abused me. I did not know what the word incest even made and I understood very little about what they wanted me to sign under. They told me I would be a good republican and it would help momma. I signed it.
No one ever told me that this letter was used in my mother's court case. No one told me that the main accusation was from her son. They said that she molested me, which was not true. I signed something I did not understand. No one told me that momma was executed. I still thought she was alive but did not understand why I could no longer hear her when I stood by the window. Maybe it is good that they never told me that Momma was dead. It would be some time before I was told that she was executed.
Things were not going well for France. The European armies were now attacking the border and having some success. This worried the government as for many people, I still was a symbol of the monarchy.
So shortly after my 10th birthday, the guards came into our cell and told my guardians that I was being removed to a new cell. Mrs. Simon started crying and begging them not to do this.
However, I was lead to a new cell. It had nothing in it but a mattress. The window was covered so it was totally dark inside. I was pushed in and the heavy door was closed.
Everything was dark and I was alone in this dark cell. The living nightmare of my life had just started.
To be continued629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKj9wYV3ts
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