I called out to her.
She turned, hearing me despite all of the city noise which encircled us. God, it was like looking at a ghost. I hadn’t seen her in ages.
She was draped in a long tan pea coat and, when she turned at the sound of her name, I could make out her favorite white dress. It was once our favorite white dress, back when we use to share clothing. Back when we were…together.
She looked so lovely in it. Where was she planning to go?
But it somehow seemed different, as if it had metamorphosed. It looked older and more mature than what it was five or six years ago. Back then, it looked like a dress a teenage girl wore. Now, it looks like a dress a woman wears. It’s funny how a maturity changes a simple dress throughout the years. Though, I’m sure it would still look like a dress a naïve teenager wore if put on me.
And then I had a look at her face. It wasn’t the face of the same girl I had dated once upon a time. No, this was a mature young lady, wise beyond her years. If you put us side by side I’m sure she’d look as tall and captivating as the Empire State building where I’d be the silly intern, ogling at its grandeur.
She looked around, her golden eyes searching.
“Jasmine…!” I called again, raising my arm above my head and waving it around. I was just desperate for her to talk to me. She had taken everything and left all those years back, without even the faintest whisper of goodbye…
It was my fault though. I had broken her heart. I had always hurt her when she least deserved it.
Time heals all wounds, and the only thing I could only hope for was another chance at being her friend.
But when our eyes locked, it was like the whole world had suddenly frozen over. I felt as though I was naked on these busy streets. I felt as though I were easily susceptible to wounds, as if I had just mysteriously contracted hemophilia and that the tiniest of cuts could mean the end for me. Surely she had to have carried some sort of grudge and surely that fear was what was weighing down in my stomach.
Yet her expression had nothing but surprise. It held no threat in her eyes, just disbelief and maybe a hint—a tiny glimmer—of delight at my presence. The sinking feeling in my gut lightened, and I realized it was just my heart climbing back to its rightful place in my chest. I was so happy I had found her. I was so happy at the thought of seeing her, hearing her, feeling her smile.
And once again, I took the short-lived moment for granted…
There was the long held, deep beep of a horn, the high pitched screeching of breaks, but it was too late.
Her gaze was ripped from mine, turning toward the thunderous honking just in time to watch her life flash before her eyes…
The honking stopped, only to be replaced with screams.
I dropped my arm and it went limp at my side, my eyes growing wide as I fell to my knees. That sinking lump in my chest continued to climb, making its way up and out of my throat, forcing me to slump forward and cough it out from between my lips. The heavy lump revealed itself to be my breakfast, escaping my body from the same way it went in only about an hour ago.
As I stayed there, kneeling in my own vomit, suited men and woman rushing frantically towards her, I couldn’t help but look at the quivering hand that had waved her down. I wanted to cut it off my body, hoping that it would somehow disassociate me from the disaster that it had just unintentionally committed.
I dared looking back up to where she stood last, to where I had seen her last. It was as if someone had blown up a red paint filled balloon.
I stared back to the floor, silent tears mixing in with the vomit, the world beginning to spin. I had always hurt her when she least deserved it…
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