REWARD!!!
Catch this pile of garbage or YesLay him and we will give you everything you want.
Name: Nobody knows and nobody cares.
Alias: NoLay's. You know the weirdo you see on the TV who just keeps laughing. Yeah, that.
Description: No idea! But if anyone can tell me what's under those robes he wears, it is an extra kiss for you.
(Please contact Simon a-random-fangirl-having-one-of-those-common-last-names for the latter reward)
((Simon says Pictures required))
(((Kill Simon while you are at it, will you?)))
Gender: If you still don't know this, then do not attempt to try to find this man. We will not be held responsible for your acts of stupidity.
Crimes this sicko committed: To stress the urgency to do away with this person, we have listed his crimes below and tried to keep it PG. (Heavy stress upon tried)
-Combining No with Lay's. (Seriously, no and Lay's do not go together.) ((YesLay him!))
-Constantly making puns about his name and cracking up.
-Burning a book. (Death to the criminal!!! Death!!! Torture!!! Death!!!)
-Stealing an exam-appearing student's coffee stash. (Now that's just pure evil!!!)
-Forcing people to paper-cut themselves. (Nothing more needs to be said on this.)
-Saying that the movie was better than the book.
-Not hating the-sickening-toad Umbitch. I mean... Umbridge. (Die!!!! Baseball bats galore.)
If found please drag this annoying dirtbag into any of the tall official buildings you see nearby and dump him there. Do not forget to tie him up with a extra thin rope before you dump him. The criminal has proven to be rather good at escaping at previous many cases.
Please collect your reward from the big official government building. We at the Wanted Poster Creating Department will award your contributions in purging the world of evil by granting you a great sum of money which will not last long and an amazing title that everyone is going to forget in a few months.
Toodles,
The Government that doesn't care and the people that have the suckiest job in the world.
I am obviously crazy right now. I really can't believe this is almost 400 words. The full blame for this goes to caffeine and my weird brain.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
