陸瞪了她一眼。
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「不會吧?……被我說中了?」
她睜大眼睛,一臉不可思議。短暫的靜止直到陸啜一口咖啡,她才開口:
「說實話,我覺得你很怪耶,明明喜歡人家…… 為什麼淨作些他不喜歡的事呢?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAA8Wzn2E3nc
「誰喜歡他?」
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陸成逵放下咖啡杯,同時有些瓷器碰撞的聲音。
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激動?603Please respect copyright.PENANA4dfUm6nSz5
她一臉笑意,603Please respect copyright.PENANAewa22PUz3a
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「你應該知道許育典很單純,不丟直球…… 繼續這樣下去,他只會越來越討厭你。」
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甫說完,陸成逵立刻回話,
「那就討厭啊!反正我又不……」
603Please respect copyright.PENANANxbzt0RcmD
好端端一個完整的句子,硬是被分成兩半,一句豪邁說出,另一句還在嘴裡咀嚼,大概嚼食出甜味了,
「……喜歡他。」
* * *
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就這樣,又過了幾天。603Please respect copyright.PENANAY2o1mE91HR
許育典總是選擇性的記憶和遺忘,也許他並沒有注意,那些他曾經歷過的痛苦,讓他難過落淚的事,那段膠卷早已破爛,比近視千度的人拿下眼鏡還要模糊,總覺得記憶常不明究理地消失,甚至不確定是否曾發生。
他偶爾會頭痛,那不只是洗頭 不馬上吹乾的後果,它會蝕掉許部分的記憶,好的抑或是不好的,像是「等價交換」,它覺得夠了,痛舒解了,記憶亦不復存在。
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許育典臥在沙發,看著電視。不久,桌面傳來陣陣樂音,603Please respect copyright.PENANAMmuj67ZW12
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「I love you know that don’t you ? I love you ……」
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許育典很清楚自己的手機在響,但,有那麼一會兒,他想多聽聽這首歌,也不知道為什麼。603Please respect copyright.PENANAm07pXkTNju
(當初是為了什麼選這首歌當鈴聲?)603Please respect copyright.PENANAEDylKAolyp
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「喂?」603Please respect copyright.PENANA7fDGbVvjRh
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「小育,明天可以出來嗎?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAhAuPbXEe4D
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即使看到了來電顯示,即使知道是時安培,即使不那麼想接,還是決定違背「原本自我」,選擇接聽。603Please respect copyright.PENANARrWx2oBqEI
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「嗯 ,可能…… 」603Please respect copyright.PENANAscZlJ3nFUi
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許育典遲疑了,他不想去,不想出去,不為什麼。603Please respect copyright.PENANAlTsVAuAAsc
「我有很重要的事要跟你說。」603Please respect copyright.PENANA9K6MwmAyPe
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「……不能現在說嗎?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAXbjGOvuFiR
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「我想見了面再……」她話還沒說完,就被「嘟嘟──」聲打斷,603Please respect copyright.PENANARJscmEyyUs
「等等,我有插撥。」603Please respect copyright.PENANAT6qJeC3I5N
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「請問是許育典先生嗎?」(女聲)603Please respect copyright.PENANAPvDyQKjhA3
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「嗯。」603Please respect copyright.PENANASJuwIpcjFm
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「你之前訂的『爆○王』第二集到了喔,請問是今天來拿嗎?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAv4vex2YKU7
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終於到了!他大大地吐出一口氣。
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「……明天可以嗎?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAakxLarFczD
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「當然可以,請記得將訂購聯一併帶來。」(微笑聲)603Please respect copyright.PENANAgXJZuAxQuH
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接著來的不就是些客套話,咕噥一聲就給帶過。
他深呼吸,接著說:
「喂?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAUR1Q1eOZgQ
「明天可以嗎?」她小心翼翼問著。603Please respect copyright.PENANAOzYbz7Lw52
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「我明天有事。」
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許育典總是這樣,不想去就不想去,儘管大方地講出來呀!
但是他做不到,他無法明確拒絕別人。
只得隨便找個理由,擴大它,讓自己不至於感到罪惡。603Please respect copyright.PENANA9Pk9nYrhCt
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「那後天可以嗎?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAYZkZHtdSHE
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是怎樣?
天要塌啦?
還是獵人第 27 集出了?
到底是有什麼重要的事非當面跟他說不可?
他在心裡嘆了口氣,
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「約在哪?」603Please respect copyright.PENANAhbqgk1G9kM
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「我去店裡找你。」603Please respect copyright.PENANAMUgyegD0mD
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「等……」
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還來不及回話,對方已掛斷。
話沒說完對方就掛斷,這種感覺很不好受,但許育典懶得回撥,便將手機隨手一扔。不用猜就知道他正在後悔,並痛恨自己的言不由衷。
為什麼總是在做讓自己後悔的事?為什麼不能好好地、誠實地面對自己?603Please respect copyright.PENANAbUIHnhqPNu
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不知道,他從很久以前就不知道了。