-Red Lily Whites and Start Black Nights-
Good intentions, I like to think I have them. I am human after all, born broken, but I try to be good. There wasn't ever a person on this planet who was born wanting to be bad. No, I believe people eventually break the cycle of self-actualization and become victim to a monster we do not know.
Yin and Yang, Yang and Yin, one side dark, the other light; but have you ever stopped to ponder the fact that in the white there is a speck of black, and in the black there is a speck of white? This, then, proves the point that there is good, or white, in everything. This also proves, however, that there is brokenness inside all as well.
This also brings me to question; when did we learn to fear darkness. Why do we fear it? Is it the darkness itself, or the absence of presence we are all born to seek out with passion. Are we born afraid of the dark, or do we learn to fear it? If we do grow to fear the darkness, then it isn't the darkness that is evil, but the fear itself that drives us to madness. Anxiety stems from fear, war stems from fear, hate stems from fear.
Yin and Yang. Yang and Yin.
You may wonder why I think these things. Why I wonder and wonder and wonder. My father killed a man, my mother left me with my grandparents. I used to hate them, wish for their misfortune, but eventually I grew tired of hate. Empty. Instead, I focused on my studies, forgot about them, didn't even care- or so I thought. Days grew into years and I became a Criminal Profiler, I had to figure out why someone committed the crime and how. Throughout my college years, I found things, I wondered things, I learned things.
My father was not born a killer, only succumbed to the beast inside. My mother was not born an abandoner, only grew to feel the lack of love. After all, we cannot give what we have not yet received; how can we love, if we haven't learned to receive it?
There was a case that started my thinking, my rabbit trail of ideas and epiphanies. His name was Fox Cooper, a man who had raped and killed 7 woman and 2 men. His idea on life wasn't black and white, in fact he lived in the gray areas that no one with the right mind would ever dare enter. Every kill, he'd lie their bodies down, lax and cold, folded hands and crossed legs. Every time the body was found, it was dark outside, past 12:00 am. And on every victim's forehead, there was a white lily, dipped in blood.
It took us weeks to finally capture him, and when we did, he admitted it. Right away. No struggle, not running, nothing. He got in the back of the police car and was taken to prison where he'd soon die. I talked to him, as it was a part of my job, to see why he had killed and raped all his victims.
"Fox," I had said, "The lily on the forehead, the victim always found at night; what does it mean to you?" Normally, you are not strait forward with these kinds of people, you have to manipulate an answer out of them, but Fox was a strait-forward guy for whatever reason.
"Lily whites... Black Nights..." he looked to me, without emotion. "Yin has white, don't you know, Mr. Matheson?"
I'm taken aback by that, Yin was the dark side of the two. "No, Yin is the darker side, Fox."
"Yes-yes, but Yin has white, don't you know?" he insisted.
And he was right. The Yin had a white dot.
"And Yang has black."
I nod, "It does."
He pulls the picture that I had set down in front of him, the red seeped lily-white petal. He runs his thumb across the image, his eyes unfocused. "Everyone has black, everyone has white, don't you know, Mr. Matheson?"
And it was then that I realized it.
All monsters can be marvels, and all marvels can be monsters.
"Don't you know, Mr. Matheson?"
-LovelySheree
ns 15.158.61.51da2
