After the (slightly awkward) breakfast, we sat down on the couch. It was still raining brimstone and hellfire outside. I briefly entertained the idea of asking for her to stay another night, but that would probably be too much. I thought that she’d want to go home to her partner.
I just realized I hadn’t even thought about that at all. Had she called her partner at home? Why didn’t he… no. She said she was a lesbian… oh my goddess, I must make her feel awkward as fuck. What if her partner thinks she’s cheating? With me?! I’ll have to explain it to them as soon as possible. But why didn’t they call her more? Or better yet, why didn’t they come and get her? Maybe they didn’t have a car…
It didn’t occur to me that she might be single. Like, surely a woman with her looks was not single! She could just pick and choose anybody with that body. I didn’t know anything about lesbian dating, but I thought she’d just ask someone out and they’d say yes. I mean, I would. Oh, my goddess... I would! I just realized it then. I totally would date her if she asked! Why?! I had no idea, but I was one hundred percent sure I’d say ‘yes’, if she asked.
I blinked and stopped spacing out, and noticed she was looking at me with a wide grin and barely suppressed laughter. I raised my eyebrow at her. “What?” I asked.
“Your face is something else,” she said and giggled. “Your face displays your feelings like a high-def TV screen. You would be the world’s worst poker player,” she said and smiled warmly.
“What were you thinking? You were thinking about something that made you almost panic, and then embarrassed, and then confused, right? What went through that pretty head of yours?”
She said it so casually, but my mind grabbed onto it like it was a bottle of water given to a thirsty man. Pretty. I’ve been called that before. But somehow, from her mouth, it sounded different. I felt my ears heating up again and a blush creep onto my cheeks. I tried to look at her and smile, but everything came out as an awkward grin. I opened my mouth to speak, but she shook her head.
“Maybe it’s time I go,” she said. My heart sank so fast I almost gasped. She raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m clearly making you nervous and anxious. I thank you for letting me stay the night, but—” she started to say.
“No!” I blurted out, louder than I had planned. I felt my whole face flush redder than it had ever been. “I mean…," I muttered out, “You’re not. You’re not making me feel… bad. Nervous, yes," I said and chuckled nervously, “but not in a bad way. I’m not sure! I’m sorry I’m not used to this. I don’t… I don’t know, okay? I have no idea what I’m thinking, what or why I’m feeling. I have no idea why my body acts the way it doe-”
Alright, now I knew it was possible to become even redder. I did NOT want to say that aloud. I should not have said it. I should not have said that aloud. I dropped my gaze downwards and felt my whole face burn and my ears practically steamed. “Sorry…," I muttered, barely audibly.
I saw her raise her hand to her face and heard her suppress a giggle. She turned toward me and put her hand on my shoulder. It felt soft and warm, I relaxed slightly even from just that. I heard her take a deep breath.
“Darling…you’re doing nothing wrong,” she said assuringly. She grabbed my chin gently and lifted it up so my gaze met hers.
I felt my heart beat so loudly, I thought she could easily hear it.
Being here, her hand on my chin, her looking directly at my eyes. I did not know I wanted anything like that, I didn’t even know it was a thing that one could want. But now I knew I wanted more of it. My whole body wanted her to keep holding onto my chin and looking at me. My lips parted involuntarily.
She smiled at me. “It’s all natural. You'll figure it out in time. I only wish—no, nothing. It’s not my place to say anything like that. Just take your time and figure yourself out,” she said.
I was intrigued by her sentence left unfinished, but I couldn’t figure out what she meant by that. But I knew what she meant about the rest. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me. Why did I feel what I felt, why did my body act like it did? I’ll call a doctor, and —
“What would you say if we just stayed inside today? I’ll be here with you the whole day, and I’ll go home in the evening?” she offered.
Somehow, that made me feel very happy. “It sounds great!” I exclaimed. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, because she grinned at me again. “I mean, if you don’t mind…” I said. “I have some food in the fridge, we can eat that for lunch and if the weather calms at all, we can order a pizza for dinner…” I suggested. “I have playing cards, Netflix, books - or we can just talk. I’m really okay with everything as long as it’s with you,” I said, and then realized what I said and blushed again.
She laughed gently at me and touched my cheek. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, darling,” she said and smiled. “That sounds like a very good plan, I’m game for anything,” she said and stood up. She offered her hand to me.
I grabbed it and she pulled me up. She didn’t let go and pulled me close, though. I was only inches from her face. My heart started beating fast. Her lips were so close to mine. I don’t know why I thought about that, but it was almost all I could think of.
“See, there is nothing wrong with you," she whispered gently. “It’s only natural. You are just being you,” she said and let go of my hand. She put her hand on my shoulder, turned me gently, and looked me in my eyes. “Remember my offer, Jo,” she said. “Once you are ready, remember my offer. I’ll wait,” she said. Letting go of my shoulder she turned around.
I just stood there, trying to catch my breath. What offer? What was she talking about? Wait for what? I was so confused. I was almost ready to drop back on the couch again when she turned around. Her cheeks were faintly red, and she was smiling widely.
“Netflix first?” she asked.
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We watched some kind of drama that Kat recommended. It was actually quite good; I was engaged, and I enjoyed watching it. But I have to admit that while we watched it, I snuck a couple of glances at her. At least on one occasion, she was looking at me when I glanced at her, so we were both doing it. We smiled awkwardly and continued to watch it.
Afterward, we took a bathroom break, had a small bowl of salad for a snack, and decided to play a couple of card games. Outside, it looked like it was calming down. Kat might have a good shot at getting home today. The thought of that conflicted within me in ways I never thought I’d experience. On one hand, it was great that she could go home and change into her own clothes and sleep in her own bed. Be content at home. But on the other hand, a part of me really didn’t want her to go. I couldn’t explain that part even to myself, so I tried to ignore it.
I wasn’t that successful with it, and the thought of her leaving and me getting down because of that kept bothering me the whole day. But being with her, even in silence, was so relaxing and… right, for lack of a better word, that the thoughts didn’t bother me that much.
After the salad, we settled down at the kitchen table and decided to play a game of cards. Kat suggested upping the game a bit, and voted for the loser having to answer one question from the winner. I was rather confident in my abilities in our chosen game, so I agreed. Kat shuffled the deck and dealt the cards. We started making small talk whilst playing.
"So, how long have you lived here?" she asked.
I wondered if she meant the apartment or the town itself. I decided to just answer both. This wasn't a prize question, anyway. "Five years in this apartment, all my life in this town. I was actually born lakeside, but moved here when I went to college," I said.
Most people move cities and perhaps thousands of miles for college, I moved slightly less than ten miles. I didn't have a bike or a car back then, and I still don't have a car or even a license. It was just easier for me to live here, and the rent was not bad. After I graduated, I just kept living here as it was really close to work too.
“Oh, I thought you weren’t local,” she said, surprised. “Well, if that was your first time in a bar yesterday, it’s not like we would’ve bumped into each other, anyway. I was born here too, in the third district actually. I moved lakeside when I was a teen. I went to the Lakeside High, actually,” she said and smiled.
“Hey, I went there too. I wonder if we saw each other there and didn’t just know it,” I said. I wondered what kind of person the Young Kat had been. Cheerleader, probably a nuisance to teachers or an actual delinquent. Really popular, the kind of ‘out-of-your-reach class’ for everyone, save the school Wonderboy or someone like that. 39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11cDzcvLTu
“I doubt it. I didn’t really shine out, or talk to anyone during school. Besides, I’m enough older than you that I probably graduated before you even entered the first grade,” she said, and smiled a sad smile.
I had forgotten the fact that she was a bit older. Damn. Well, in my defense, she really didn’t look that old when you got to look at her more closely.
“If you’d see my school pictures, you wouldn’t recognize me in the least. I used to have really short hair, no boobs to even mention, and I looked more like a thin pole with a brush on the end than an actual female human being,” she said and grinned.
I tried to imagine Kat as a teen without her shape, hair, and beauty. It was so far from what she was now that I couldn’t, so I just said, “I’d like to see them at some point.”
She looked at me and blinked twice. “Them what?” she asked.
“Your school photos," I said. I didn’t know why, but I really wanted to know more about her. She intrigued me so much my head was almost spinning. I wanted to know all about her and seeing her school photos sounded like a great time.
She looked at me and her eyes softened, and she smiled at me so widely I didn’t know what I had done.
“Of course," she said with such happiness, I thought she’d accidentally squeal. I still had no idea what was going on, and I was the other person here. It kind of bothered me, but then I noticed I could win the match and made my move.
She looked surprised, but not disappointed. She collected the cards and handed them to me.
“You deal now. You’re my lucky star so I’ll be sure to win next round,” she said. “For now, ask away.” She leaned her head on her hands and fluttered her eyelashes at me.
My heart jumped, and I had to swallow hard. I almost dropped the cards. I took a deep breath and begun shuffling the deck. I was thinking about what would I ask her when I realized I was already asking her something. “When, and how, did you realize you were a lesbian?," I asked.
I almost slapped my hand on my mouth, but the deck of cards stopped me. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want to know that, or that it wasn’t something I really wanted to know about her, but I thought it would not be my place to ask. But apparently my mouth ran away from my brain and asked by its lonesome. Well, what’s done is done. I looked at her and she almost purred. She looked at me with her eyes half-closed, her lips in a wide smile.
“So that’s where we’re going…," she said, and grinned. “Very well. Deal, and I’ll talk,” she said.
I shuffled the deck.
Kat leaned back and closed her eyes. “Back in high school…," she started. “I think it was in the first year when everybody and their mothers talked about guys. Only about guys. Never really anything else. Guys and the occasional makeup and fitness chat. Mostly guys and sex. I was really interested in the sex part, but I could never summon any interest in guys. I wondered what it was that I did wrong,” she said and sighed.
“Spoilers: there was nothing wrong with me, I was just gay.” She smiled. “It took me almost all of that year and hours of doubting myself. I even thought that my idea of sex was wrong somehow because I had just done it myself. But even my own fingers sounded better than a… meat sausage. Eww.”
She stuck her tongue out of her mouth and grimaced. “But then we had a swimming class and.. well, there was a girl two graders higher from me. Let’s call her Stacy. Stacy had an adult body compared to the rest of us. She had matured way earlier than us and looked like she was twenty, but we were all like fifteen.
The swimming trip was common for all the classes, so the third years were there with us, including Stacy. We went to put our swimsuits on, but I had forgotten mine in my bag, so I went to fetch it. As I returned, they had all already dressed up and were up to their necks in the lake, playing. All except Stacy. She was just undressing as I entered.
I was entranced, I just kept staring at her. She undressed slowly and picked up her swimsuit from the floor. As she bent down I almost fainted, my heart beat so fast and my breathing was so quick I thought I was having a heart attack! She turned around and saw me,” Kat said.
She grinned at me, pointed at the deck, and said, “Deal, Jo. It was me watching Stacy, not you.” She laughed, and I blushed like crazy once again and started dealing the cards.
“Anyway, yeah. She turned around and smiled at me. She put her hand to her lips, licked her fingertip, and touched her nipple with it. She winked at me and walked right to me, her boobs in front of my eyes, without anything on her. She bent down so her face was right in front of me and whispered, ‘Hello there baby gay. I’m sorry, but I’m already taken. But it’s great to see your sexuality awaken. I hope you’ll find a great girlfriend in the future.’ She grinned at me, stepped back, and sat down on the bench. ‘Here. Have a gift, only for you’, she said and spread her legs, then slid her finger between her lips and slipped it in. She moaned hard as she pushed it into her. She closed her eyes and moved her finger in and out in silence for a few seconds.
“I could do nothing but stare. She opened her eyes, licked her finger clean, and winked at me. She put on her swimming suit and walked out. I stood in the empty dressing room for about half an hour, not able to move or do anything. Then I went home and masturbated until I couldn’t stand anymore. And, well, that’s that. Breathe, Jo,” she said, and laughed that bright laugh of hers.
I drew a deep breath and tried to steady my breathing. My heart was beating hard and my breathing was quick. I knew what was happening with my body, but I wasn’t going to check it now. Either Kat was a master in storytelling, or my imagination was running on overdrive. Either way, what an image!
I found myself wishing I’d have seen it too, and it caught me by surprise. Why would I want to see that too? Why…
I dealt the cards and we played the match in silence, her glancing at me occasionally and grinning, me trying to keep my heart and breathing in shape. What was happening to me? I didn’t understand it, but a small bell somewhere deep inside me went “oh”. As my concentration was shot, Kat won the round with ease. I gathered the cards and offered the deck to her. “Ask away," I said.
She put the deck of cards on the table and stood up. She walked to my side and held her hand out to me. I grabbed it and she pulled me up. “If you’ll let me, I’ll ask my question later. I’d first like to watch another flick with you if that’s okay,” she said, then grinned. “It’ll give you time to get your breathing in order, anyway,” she said, laughed, and led me by my hand to the couch again.
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The movie ended, and I have to say I should have expected that from her, but I didn’t. I didn’t know what I would have expected from the movie if I had known beforehand, but not this for sure. It was a really, really good flick. It was called “Imagine Me & You” and it was about a bride that finds a new love just as she’s about to get married. The catch is that this new love is another woman… and none of it was nasty or wrong. It was cute and happy and awesome. And at seemed so… right. Like a puzzle piece was put into the right place, I felt something click inside me. I cried when they got each other in the end.
I had a strange feeling that Kat watched me the whole movie, but I couldn’t be sure. I was too invested in it to actually notice anything. I leaned backward on the couch and closed my eyes. I heard Kat turn towards me.
“So what did you think about the movie?," she asked with a strange tenseness in her voice.
I flashed my eyes open and looked at her. She was looking at me like a small child expecting her parent to comment on her first drawing. It was a strange image, and I chuckled at the mental picture of that.
“I liked it,” I said truthfully. “To be fair, I didn’t expect it to be a movie like this, and when I realized what it was, I expected something else. Not… not for it to be this cute and wholesome,” I said.
She smiled at me and touched my arm. “See, it’s just being human. There’s nothing wrong with love, regardless of sex or gender,” she said.
I was sure I was supposed to understand the deeper meaning in her sentence, but it flew right over me.
The weather had calmed considerably, and it was almost nice outside. A bit windy, but no rain or hail anymore. Kat rose up and stretched. She looked at me with a weird expression.
“Say…," she said. “I know we planned out this whole day, but I think we can change the plan as we go. The weather seems nice enough so that I could go home earlier today… now wait, lemme finish,” she said. “I’ll go home and change, and then, depending on your answer, I’ll come back and we can eat the pizza for dinner and maybe something else, or I can stay home and years from now we’ll think of this as the day we met that one person when it stormed, but that was it,” she said, and walked to the front door.
I followed her to the door. I understood nothing, but it made me very sad when she said she wouldn’t come back. I really wanted to see her school photos and learn where she lived and what she liked and—
“Jo,” she said as she put on her shoes. She grabbed my chin again gently and turned my face toward her and looked straight into my eyes. “When did you realize, Jo?," she asked gently.
I stared into her eyes, and things clicked inside my head; feelings connected, reactions followed reason. Her eyes kept gently looking into mine as my eyes welled up, then a tear ran down my cheek. She wiped it gently away with her finger.
“Now…” I said quietly, and pressed myself against her. She wrapped her arms around my back and patted it gently. “I realized now,” I said.
She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me gently away. She looked straight into my eyes again. “Go rest on the couch, Jo," she said quietly. “Take a shower and calm down. I’ll go home and change, and I’ll grab us a pizza or two when I come back, ok?," she said.
I bit my lip and nodded at her. I didn’t trust my voice enough to answer.
She smiled gently at me again. “That’s a good girl," she said. “I promise I’ll be back, darling. You have no idea how happy your answer made me. I—," she said and let it drop. She took a deep breath. “I’ll be back, Jo. I promise I’ll stay as long as you want me," she said and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. Then she waved at me and walked out of my door.
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