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It was the first day of kindergarten and Rena was nervous. Sure she had gone to preschool so it wasn’t like she wasn’t accustomed to being away from her mama, but there was something different about it being “big kid” school. She was holding on tightly to her mother’s hand waiting for the bus. She felt a squeeze and looked up.
“It’s ok ReRe. You will do fine. You are my smart little girl. Mama is so proud of you. If you get scared just remember our little saying.”
Rena smiles back at her mom and chirps “A smile a day keeps the troubles away.”
Her mother smiles back “That’s right ReRe.”
The bus arrived and Rena was off to school. Her mother watched the bus drive off and a tear escaped her. Her daughter was growing up so fast and so beautifully. She wanted to watch it all, but life was simply unfair.
~1 month later~
Rena was called up to the office. She wasn’t sure why she’d need to go up there but she skipped her way down the halls, but as she walked in the atmosphere was dark. She looked at the teachers and staff when the counselor came up to her asking her to step into her office.
They stepped inside and she asked her to sit on the couch. She sat beside her and looked down towards Rena.
“Miss Serena, we called you into the office because your mother has been taken into the hospital.”
Rena just stared at the lady. She of course knows what hospitals are and why people would be taken there but she didn’t understand why her mother would have been taken there.
“W-why?” she stuttered out nervously.
“We are not sure but we have been asked to bring you to the hospital. We just wanted to prepare you and let you know that we are here for you as your teachers.”
The counselor and the principal drove Rena to the Hospital and a nurse took her inside. She guided Rena to a room where she saw her mother in a bed with tubes and machines hooked up. Rena just stared in shock, not knowing what to think. Her mind had gone blank.
Her mother turned to her and smiled, “ReRe, come here. It’s ok.”
Rena wasted no time in running up to her mother but slowed down to gently hug her since she didn’t understand what was wrong. She sat back down in a chair and continued to hold her mothers hand as her mother drifted into a light sleep.
Rena just stared at her mother sleeping so softly. She didn’t realize her subconscious was memorizing her mother’s features. Her face, her hair, her eyes, she would never forget.
Suddenly, the door opened and a woman walked in. A woman Rena had never seen before. She had a frown on her face as she stood at the end of the bed. Rena felt her mother sir as she slowly woke up.
The doctor and the head nurse came in soon after.
“Ah Mrs. Reyes I presume?” the doctor asked the woman.
She turned and gave a very annoyed “Yes.”
“Thank you for coming in. We would like to talk to you about your daughter’s condition.” He continued.
“Well, spit it out already.” She growled back.
The doctor was a little taken aback by her response but continued anyway. ” She has been diagnosed with cervical cancer. It has reached stage four and unfortunately there is not much we can do. The survival–” he was cut off.
“I’m well aware of the survival rate. Her grandmother passed away from the same. We always had her checked and she showed no signs, when could it have possibly escalated to this stage?” the woman asked, a slight sadness in her voice but her face remained strained.
“It’s hard to say really, however, they’re are cases of it showing up after pregnancy or childbirth. The two are not linked per say but it might have been dormant until the pregnancy.”
The woman turned her gaze towards Rena and glared. Rena didn’t understand what was happening. Who was this woman?
She felt her mother squeeze her hand causing the little one to turn towards her mother.
“Come here ReRe. I need to tell you something.” The little Rena climbed on the bed and leaned in so her mother could whisper in her ear.
“You saved me, little one. You really were mommy’s little angel. You might not understand it now but you will when you are older. Mommy is going to be going to a place where I won’t be sick anymore but I won’t be able to see you for a long time. Don’t be scared sweetheart.” she said as she wiped little Rena’s tears. “Grammie will take care of you. So go be a good girl for mommy ok?”
Little Rena nodded her head and her mother placed a soft, weak kiss on her forehead. “Remember, mommy loves you and I’m so very proud of you.”
~1 month later~
It was cold, dreary, and the rain was relentless. Everyone was dressed in black, surrounding a spot in the ground. A long wooden box was hovering over the earth. Many words had been said but Rena heard none of them. She was numb. Everything that had been said to her or around her in the last few days had been muffled. She stared at the wooden box as it was lowered into the ground. People were crying. Who even were these people? Rena had never seen any of them before. What right did they have to cry? She thought as she looked around but she has not cried a single tear since the doctors delivered the news.
She glanced up at the woman she learned was her grandmother. Her mother told her she would be living with her from now on. The woman didn’t even cry. She just stared at the casket. Once it was lowered, everyone took their turn to drop a rose on the casket. They were all black. Rena’s grandmother had decided they would all be black. To symbolize the end, the loss, the mourning.
Rena, however, had asked someone for a blue rose. She didn’t like all of the black. Her mother was bright and cheerful, she didn’t deserve all the gloom. Soon it was Rena’s turn and she stepped up to drop her blue colored rose. As she raised her hand she heard her grandmother’s voice.
“What are you doing, you insolent child! The roses are to be black! Where did you get that?” she growled. Rena just looked up at her with a blank face.
One of the assistants spoke softly “I gave her the flower Miss, she asked me for a blue one. I see no issues in–”
“There is an issue because I specifically instructed them to be all black. This is a funeral. A time of mourning my lost child.”
“Ma’am blue is often used to symbol–”
“I don’t care! Don’t let her drop–”
Rena released the flower and it gracefully floated down, resting on top of the mound of black. ”Blue was mama’s favorite color.” Rena said simply before she marched off, leaving everyone speechless. A single tear slipped down her cheek.
She had chosen blue because it was her mothers favorite color and the color of her eyes. She didn’t know what they symbolize when placed over a loved one’s caskets.
Blue roses symbolize tranquility and peace, offering a sense of calm and serenity.
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