Lingering in the area, Sionn looked up at the night sky. Even though he hadn’t gotten the chance to see her, had only heard her voice, he was convinced he was right. The woman who’d swung an iron poker at his head had been the same one who’d saved his life. Walking softly, listening to the quiet sounds of dirt beneath his feet, Sionn tried to think instead of what had happened after. Her act of kindness had spurred his own. In truth, his family would likely never agree, loving as they were, that leaving had been kind. Still, he’d left, and he wasn’t weighing them down anymore.
Stopping, Sionn realized he’d come to the edge of the town. In front of him was a grand field, some farms carved into the hills. He’d wandered from town to town, following the edge of the forest. Turning around, he looked out across the expanse of the town. Faintly, just behind the last row of buildings, Sionn could see the shadow that was his home. Had been once, he reminded himself.
He’d often wondered, in the months that had passed since he’d first left the trees, why he’d never let them out of his sight. It was any number of reasons, all mixed and muddled together inside his head until he couldn’t piece them apart. Maybe the reason was he didn’t want to fully leave his family behind, wanted that safety net of discarding his human form and returning to his parents den. Perhaps it was something more altruistic, like wanting to be nearby if they needed his help. It might have nothing to do with his family, might only be the fear of the unknown that lay the way of the fields.
It might be the haunting memory of eyes filled with stifled loneliness. Rubbing the back of his neck, Sionn willed away the sudden tension growing there. That memory was in equal parts his happiest and most shameful moment, and he found himself hesitating to recall it. Prematurely, Sionn felt the bite of winter on the late summer wind. It wasn’t an outlandish possibility to consider, that he might’ve lingered in the towns along the forest to try and find her. She’d called him friend, even as a fox. That connection had still pulsed within him even as he believed he’d never see her again. Now that he had, was he going to merely let this chance pass him by?
The impulsive decision to try and see her again had made so much sense when he was leaving her room. To let the chance to truly know her slip through his fingers seemed a shame. Why keep this humanoid form, if he was going to squander the possibilities it presented? Realizing he’d paced back to the inn, Sionn ducked into some shadows, and glanced towards her window. The light was still off, or had been dimmed again. It was possible, even, that she’d spooked and left. If he sought her out, though, would it be for her or himself? Lowering his gaze, Sionn leaned against the building behind him.
“Are you lonely too, my friend?”
Despite his efforts not to recall them, her words echoed back into his mind. In truth, he’d believed himself lonely then, had come to realize he could grow more lonely yet. Pressing his hands into the grit of the stone, Sionn closed his eyes. It’d be for him, but not him alone. He had to believe. She’d called him her friend, and he was going to prove she’d been right. He’d failed as a fox, let down his family. He wouldn’t— couldn’t— simply let this pass by. He had to at least try.
Beyond the mountains to the east, the sky began to lighten with the precursor to dawn. Sionn crossed the narrow street, pulling himself onto a brick fence. It marked a border around the building that faced the front of the inn, and if she hadn’t left yet, he’d be able to see her from his perch. To keep himself awake and soothe frazzled nerves, Sionn swished his tail against the wall behind him. After a moment he began to tap the heel of his boot against the wall in a rhythm that matched, enjoying the soft thunk. His gaze remained riveted on the inn. He might have to find someplace less noticeable to wait soon. Once the sun had fully risen, the villagers would wake, and it would be a lot harder to explain his presence.
As the soft light of dawn began to spread over the town, Sionn spotted a hooded figure bursting out of the inn. Initially he ignored them, convinced that his friend wouldn’t rush, but his curiosity took over. Following them with his gaze, Sionn straightened when their stride settled, his ears perking up. He knew that gait, had snuck back to watch it as she walked through the snow once long ago. Throwing himself off the wall with a smile, Sionn landed deftly on his feet. Quickly, he rushed up to her, nearly overcome by his enthusiasm now that he’d made his decision. Unbidden, his exclamation burst forth.
“Hey-oh! I almost didn’t recognize you!”
She jerked to a stop, swinging around to face him, and Sionn was able to see the full force of that very face. Though it startled him a moment, that the colors were different than what he’d seen through his fox eyes, one glance at her enchanting features and Sionn knew he hadn’t made a mistake. He found himself wanting to stare into the depths of her eyes, admire the shades that he’d been unable to see before. The colors were always a hard adjustment between his forms, nearly as difficult as learning to walk on two legs. Wearing shoes had been a struggle too, until the first time he’d stepped on something. Realizing his mind was drifting, and that she was staring at him rather blankly, Sionn’s mouth opened, babbling out an excuse. No doubt, he’d gone and done something strange again.
“Sorry about this, it’s just, I mean, I had to go in a rush last night— but what I did was really rude, right? And- and after all, considering how rude I accidentally was, I figured it was more than the right thing to do to track you down to apologize! Though, I guess I should also apologize for hanging around to waylay you.”
“I- you- what?”
While she still appeared a little shocked, Sionn found his grin growing. He couldn’t believe he’d truly managed to find her, and entirely by accident.
“I hung around the inn, so I could see you again!” Except, as she continued to stare at him, she didn’t seem happy. Growing confused, Sionn listened to her halting response.
“I thought- wasn’t it obvious that- … why?” She’d lifted her hands, as if to communicate with them, but dropped them in the end.
“Why?” Sionn could only repeat her question, unable to comprehend why she’d even have to ask.
“Did you seek me out?”
Sionn felt his smile twitch, but struggled to keep it in place. He felt like the world around him had crashed to pieces, just for a moment. Of course. He repeated it, for extra measure. Of course! She won’t recognize you. It was such a stupid thing to expect, that she might offer forth the same instant friendship she’d given him once. Stupider still to expect that she might do so because she recognized him. Why would he even want her to, she’d seen him at his worst. This is a blessing. A blessing! Holding his expression firmly in place, even as he internally monologued, Sionn almost didn’t notice when she began to speak again.
“Nevermind, I need to head out. Apology accepted, I suppose. Just… Just dont-”
No! He’d never find her again, quick!
“Can I come with you?”
Attempting to project a casual veneer, like he’d seen some humans do, Sionn folded his hands behind his head. He forced his lips to form a half grin. He strained to remember what he’d overheard a gaggle of men say early on, when he was learning to mimic humans. Something about full grins showing too much enthusiasm? What’s wrong with enthusiasm? Nonetheless, Sionn didn’t want to risk overwhelming her, so he maintained the mildly aloof bearing.
“No, I’m going into the woods to hunt. Alone.”
The harsh words cracked his calm facade, and Sionn dropped his arms. Her voice had done something at the end, though. The last word, ‘alone’ had been different. It was enough to offer him hope, and crush him inside all at once. She was still lonely. Getting desperate, Sionn exaggerated his meager abilities.
“That’s good then! See, cause I’m-”
Sionn found the words dying on his lips as she shot him a warning look. Except, it didn’t seem like she was warning him not to cross her. There was no heat in her gaze, no rage. She was glancing around them, at the humans beginning to mill about the town. With a start, Sionn understood she was advising him to be cautious. Even just speaking of what you are is a sin? For not the first time, Sionn wondered if joining human society had been the right decision. As he looked back at her, though, Sionn knew he’d do anything to be near this woman, to be able to help her as she had helped him. Perhaps he hadn’t always consciously realized it, but every moment he’d spent on two legs he’d hoped his path would lead back to hers. He wasn’t going to squander this opportunity.
Leaning forward and lowering his voice, Sionn continued onwards like she’d never interrupted, lifting his hand as if to shield his mouth from the view of the townsfolk.
“As I was saying, I’m a fox. I can help you in the woods.”
Too late, Sionn realized he’d spoken too bluntly, forgotten to amend the truth into a close lie. Still, her befuddled expression was better than a swift denial, and he decided to press his luck.
“I have good night vision as well, so I could-” The swift start of panic in her eyes reminded him of their meeting the night before, and he attempted to retract his statement. “Ah- Well, it’s passable. Better than yours, at the least. I can help guide you through the forest!”
Sionn watched, hopeful, as she glanced up at the sky. For a moment, half a moment, Sionn considered delaying her until she said yes. Shame instantly washed over him that he’d even considered such a thing. That wasn’t the way to friendship, not in any way that would be for her. His bright grin dimming down to a weak smile, Sionn rubbed at the back of his head, averting his gaze.
“Forgive me, I’m sorry, I’m delaying you-”
“Only if you can keep up,” She interrupted him, and Sionn lifted his gaze, hardly able to believe he was hearing correctly. “If you fall behind, or scare off the herds, I’m leaving you behind.”
Sionn opened his mouth to respond, even though he hadn’t the faintest idea what he’d say, but she’d already turned around. At first she just stood, facing the direction she’d originally been walking, but then she seemed to straighten her shoulders, walking quickly along the path. Shaking off his expression of shock, Sionn quickly caught up to her. He adjusted his stride so he hung one step behind her, and tried to do his best to keep quiet. Despite his apprehension at possibly showing off his lackluster fox skills, Sionn’s skin burned with sheer giddiness. He couldn’t believe that just when he’d given up, she’d agreed.
He said nothing as the dirt roads of the village faded away, watching as they approached the thin spattering of trees that formed the beginning of the forest. According to some gossip he’d overheard, villagers had been trying to push back the border for a long time, but they were always defeated by the stubborn growth of the forest. Thinking once again of the forest that had been his home, Sionn stifled a sigh, and happily strolled after… after... Huh.
“I’m Sionn, what’s your name?” It seemed senseless that he didn’t know her name, that she didn’t know his.
“What?” She’d spoken softly, without looking back at him.
“We’re not in the forest proper, but we’re far enough from the village that no one should be around,” It was possible, after all, that she was merely private with her name. Stepping ahead of her, and turning to face her and walk backwards, Sionn continued. “Surely we aren’t to call each other ‘you’, right? So what’s your name?”
When she visibly hesitated, Sionn began to nervously nibble at the inside of his cheek. He knew that the humans used names, and even his family picked out names, no matter how rarely they were used. Since they didn’t speak with scents and gestures like foxes did, humans had to. So then, that meant she was hesitating because she didn’t want to tell him. He wanted to know her, with a gnawing need that surprised him. He wanted to know her name, her dreams, he wanted to know all about the shadows hidden in her pale green eyes, but it wasn’t merely that. He wanted her to want to share it. Forcing a casual shrug, resigned to not knowing, Sionn swung back around. He faced the forest, so she couldn’t see his expression as he spoke.
“No worries, I guess since I’m not supposed to speak, I don’t actually need your name. Just thought it’d be nice to know.” Sionn hoped his tone came off as nonchalant as he’d intended. He was struggling against the urge to look back at her face, see if she was relieved, if he’d done the right thing, when she spoke. Her voice was soft, the tone almost shy.
“You may call me Elona.”
Sionn wasn’t sure where the self control it took not to dance came from, but he managed it. She’d told him. He accepted not knowing, but she’d told him. He knew her name, and it was as lovely and delicate as her scent.
“Well then,” He came to a stop again, and swiveled on his heel to face her, not bothering to hide his triumphant grin. “It’s a pleasure, Elona.”
For half a heartbeat, Elona only stared wide-eyed at him, her mouth forming a small ‘o’ of surprise. Her hand lifted to cover her mouth, the dark brown leather of her glove a contrast to her pale complexion. Then, so softly he almost missed it, she chuckled. Sionn’s ears rose up, and he leaned forward, hoping to catch more of the sound. It was his turn to look surprised.
“O-oh, I’m sorry,” Her mirth was subsiding, but her lips still had a gentle smile when she lowered her hand. “It’s just, that was quite possibly the most formal greeting I’ve received.”
“And?” Sionn’s tail shifted behind him, twitching from side to side in his joy. While he managed to suppress, though not entirely conceal, the glee from his features or his posture, it seemed that damnable appendage was determined to give him away.
“And we’re in a forest.” He merely blinked, and she continued, “It’s quite a silly place for pleasantries.”
“The forest can be the most pleasant of places.” Despite saying it with confidence in his happy memories, Sionn found his gaze drifting to her bow. His stomach sank, and the lightness of the mood seemed to sink with it. “Though, I suppose it’s not always.”
“No,” She agreed, and Sionn was surprised to note regret in her tone. “No, it can be quite the ruthless place.”
Elona averted her gaze from his, and resumed her pace, stepping around him. Sionn remained riveted in place for a moment, turning to watch as she moved. The shadows had returned to her eyes, and Sionn was kicking himself. Learning to speak had been easy; learning when to keep quiet was still something of a struggle. Forcing his feet into movement, Sionn trailed behind her. Despite his admonishing himself for not stifling his words earlier, Sionn couldn’t help the question that slipped out into the tense air between them.
“Do you… Do you think of yourself as ruthless?”
The silence stretched between them for quite some time, but Sionn didn’t press the issue. As they moved into the forest, the trees instead pressed in around them, and the undergrowth grew thicker. Unsure if he should take hope in the silence, that she hadn’t turned him away yet, Sionn followed. Ahead of him, Elona moved deftly through the terrain. She stepped over fallen trees, through the underbrush of bushes that sought to trip her, keeping her steps still enough that the leaves and twigs along the ground didn’t so much as whisper of her presence. When the branches of the trees began to grab at her cloak, she merely reached for the hem and wrapped its length around her neck and shoulders. Sionn couldn’t help but admire the quick thinking, and the way the blended shades of green moved with her. She almost appeared to be part of the forest herself.
After a while, perhaps an hour or two of simple silence, Elona drew to a stop, and shifted to face him. The intensely thoughtful expression on her face was almost alarming as she silently looked him up and down. Unable to do much else, Sionn simply stared back, waiting. His heart beat a quick rhythm, his blood rushing through his ears and echoing. Is she going to tell me to leave? He’d been keeping up, was his question earlier that offensive? He couldn’t even recall exactly what he’d said, couldn’t prepare an explanation.
“You’re drawing too much notice.” Elona’s voice was hushed, but her tone was still notably irked.
Sionn wasn’t sure what she meant, and opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but froze. If drawing notice was the problem, speaking wouldn’t do him any favors. Closing his mouth helplessly, Sionn lowered his gaze from hers, and looked at himself. It had been difficult procuring human clothes, and for a while he had gotten by by wearing laundry filched from someone's drying line, but he was proud of his current vestments.
Earning coin had been difficult, but even the most stingy humans seemed to enjoy hearing a sweet voice. He’d earned the money for the simple set of brownish red breeches and matching vest. The white undershirt had been surprisingly expensive for something without sleeves, but he’d earned the money for that too. The boots had been a kind gift from a man he’d run into, their black leather faded deeply. They went up to his knees, and were loose around his toes, but fit nicely otherwise. The belt tied around his waist was too long, and the extra leather trailed down his stomach and over his leg, but he was fond of the effect. When his forearms had seemed bare compared to the black fur he was accustomed too, he’d crossed some leather straps around them. He thought he looked nice, very human-like. So what was wrong? Raising his eyes back up to her, Sionn tilted his head in confusion. He knew it might lead to her washing her hands of him, declaring him too much trouble, but he couldn’t think of what else to do.
She didn’t speak, instead merely gaped at him a moment, before shaking her head. Sionn flinched when she reached for him, no matter how strongly he believed he’d never come to harm at her hands. Reflexively, he screwed his eyes shut against whatever might be coming. Instead of blows, or shoves, or even just nothing at all, Sionn felt gentle tugs on the top of his vest. Slowly, Sionn opened his eyes, and glanced down. He’d left the laces at the top open, showing off a flash of white from the undershirt, but Elona was drawing them tight. His heart felt as if it might burst each time her fingers brushed against him, no matter how many layers were separating him from her touch. Clothing had seemed such a bothersome human habit, and Sionn occasionally found himself resenting the need for it, but now Sionn was grateful to whoever had thought up the idea.
As she pulled the laces, adjusting them to further hide the white, Sionn noticed her fingers were trembling. He wondered if he frightened her. She seemed so strong, so capable, but he was a beast. His fox ears and tail were proof of that, and if his nature might prove otherwise, well, she hadn’t gotten the chance to know that yet. The brave woman who walked into the woods with her head held high had shadows in her eyes, and he was loathe to draw them out again. His instincts screamed out at him to comfort her, his hands twitching with the desire to take hers, to soothe her. Instead he willed himself to remain still. 755Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wDpdw65Fy
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