When we came home, it was so strange. It did not seem like home. It was more like a distant memory. I felt like I was a guest. This was strange as I lived here all my life and was only at the boot camp for the summer.
I went into my room and sat on a beanbag. I remembered what I was like before I went to the camp. I remember it was fun listening to music and going to the mall to hang with friends. I did not want to stay at home and listening to Mom's bickering. I sat on the beanbag thinking about this girl.
That girl was gone.
I definitely did not want to go back to the camp. I didn’t like the place. My body was punished in every possible way. I closed my eyes and remembered what the general made me do. He starved me, got others to beat me up and locked me in a cage. I started swaying back and forth at remembering what he did to me. It was one thing that he tried to destroy my body. It was another thing that he tried to destroy my mind. I was thinking that even Satan was nicer.
I did not like General Cody. Not only was he mean to me, but he was also mean to Harry. He sacked the only member of staff that cared for the children at camp. General Cody also punished Noah.
I started thinking about Noah and started crying as I swayed back and forth.
Mom heard my cry and came in and sat next to me and hugged me.
“The boot camp must have been hard,” she said, “What happened? How could it be so bad that it has you in tears? Did they make you work hard? What happened?”
I looked in her face but said nothing. She hugged me tighter and said she had no choice but to send me to the camp, as I was on the wrong path. Then she went on about how much she loved me and she was glad the camp could help me. This confused me. How did she think it helped me?
Mom told me that we can try to be happy now. She told me I did not need to wear diapers at home. I smiled as I took them off.
That was as far as I smiled. I felt sick when mom gave me a hug and it was just a punishment looking at her. How did she expect me to love her and trust her when she sent me to that camp. She only asked after I came home if bad things happened. She did not ask this before she put me in this camp. How did this lady expect love and respect?
If I told mom what happened there, she would tell the general and I would be locked in that cage for life!
The camp changed me!
I did not go to the mall like I used to. I did not get cheeky when my mom said something. If she asked for help to do the dishes or some housework, then I did it. It helped pass time when I was like a maid working around the house. The house never looked so clean or tidy. Mom didn’t mind at first. She thought it was nice having someone to help her. She would speak and try to start a conversation. I would just say yes or no. I did not want Mom to know I hated her. She would just send me back to camp.
Mom noticed that I was not who I once was. She noticed I only said yes or no. She noticed I didn’t want to go out. She was worried. She didn’t know if it was because of camp and asked herself why I was always swaying back and forth on my bed mumbling and crying. Maybe she wanted her old daughter back, the way I was. The only time mom would really get mad at me was when she noticed that I wet myself. I wet myself all the time, and I simply could not control my bladder. This was humiliating. Mom was mad because of it and I was mad at myself.
Mom tried being nice. She told me to come out to the backyard and showed me a small garden patch. She told me it was mine and I could make my own garden there. I gave her a hug and started crying. Maybe there was hope!
At school, things were different as well. My friends seemed suddenly so childish. All they talked about was the mall and the boys. When they talked about what the first kiss would be like, I had nothing to say. They would complain about teachers and homework. They were like little children that did not understand how evil some people could be and they did not understand what torture was. After a few days, they thought I was no longer fun and this meant I was alone at school.
I loved gardening. I planted some flowers as well as some vegetables. It was like I was mother Earth that made things grow. It is very strange when you toil over some dirt and in time you see life grow from it. It added to the beauty of the world. Of course, at the moment, my plot was just dirt. But after a week of toil, I knew there were seeds in the ground and this was the start of new life.
I did not know if I was happy or not. I was so afraid. I was afraid mom would send me back to the camp. This meant I did everything she said and just answered yes or no. I did not want to have a conversation with my mom. She would say to me that I seemed so sad and ask did I miss the camp. When she said this, I would get anxiety and try and even be more obedient.
I constantly wet myself, even at school! This made people shun me more.
One day, Mom came to me and sat on the side of my bed, “You have not been the same since you came home. You wet yourself and constantly sway back and forth like you no longer want to be alive. You do what I tell you, but we do not talk. I have this feeling that you do not love me. I have this feeling the camp did not fix you right? Did I bring you home too early?”
I gave mom a hug and wanted to tell her that I wanted to be home. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to make me a little girl again and not worry about the General. I wanted to be able to love life again and not worry. I told mom that I just was worried about my bladder. I told her I was being teased at school for wetting. I could not believe I heard me tell mom that I needed to wear pull-ups. I asked mom if we could see a doctor.
Mom sighed and said she did not think I needed a doctor. This was the mom I hated. One that could not deal with the problems I had. She thought the problems would just disappear.
So I started wearing pull-ups, but I could not get the fear out of my head. Just as bad as the fear was the hatred I had for mom.
I could deal with the fear. I just smiled more and tried to make mom happy. I asked her did she want to help me in my garden, but mom said she had to go out as she had to meet someone at the cafe. I joked and asked was it a date. Mom smiled and said she would be back in a few hours. I told her I would garden and then watch some TV.
When mom went, I started getting rid of the few weeds and watered my little patch. I was speaking with the plants, telling them how beautiful they were. I was the mother of my plants, and they would learn how much I loved them and would protect them from everything.
My cell phone rang.
“Help! Help me. Come and save me… Being Sold!”
It was Noah! In a way, I was happy that he was still alive. Then I got some anxiety as I realized that he was in trouble. He needed my help to save him!
I decided that I needed the help of the police. So I rang the police and asked to speak with a policeman. I then started telling him everything. I talked about the camp and how General Cody wanted to break us. I told about all the punishments that I had to endure and the humiliation. I begged the police to close the place and find Noah as well as arrest the general.
I could not wait for an answer. Mom was home. She asked was there a friend on the telephone? I just shrugged my shoulder.
The phone rang and mom was speaking on it for several minutes. I heard her apologize and say that I had a vivid imagination. She promised she would deal with it. I calculated that it was the police, wanting to more about my phone call. I didn't wait to find out anything more, I ran to my bedroom and locked it.
Mom was outside calling me a liar and the camp did not finish its job. I was still a self-centered girl who lied and wanted all the attention. She demanded that I opened the door or she would send me back to camp.
I could not pretend anymore. I told mom that I hated her and said that everything I said about the camp. Mom stood there for an hour telling me she did not believe me and why could I not just be normal? I sat on my bed and swayed back and forth, even when it went quiet. I fell asleep crying and afraid.
The next day there was a knock at the door. It was a man's voice. I said I was not coming out. Then the man informed me I can do this the hard way or the easy way.
I chose to stay in my bed.
Then there were some noises as they were picking the lock on my door. The door opened and two men came in. I could see mom standing behind her.
”Heidi,” one man said, ”We are here to take you to RAD. This time it is serious. Your mother has given us full custody of you. There is one thing for certain, you are coming. Now get up and let's go to the car”
I screamed and shouted that I did not want to go. I kicked when they came close to me and punched as much as I could while calling every them every name in the book. Mom asked them do they not see what she has to deal with? This made me stop as I was so confused. I told them to take mom, as she needed the camp more.
In the end, they had me restrained. They put handcuffs on me and said that it was normal.
I cried as I realized that I was going back to RAD.
The end
There will be a sequel... Hell at Bootcamp II
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