Luck wasn't on my side after all.
The next day, Missy packed Stew into the back box of her scooter to head into town and post up found posters she had scribbled out the night before. Bartie even helped by digging out an old instant camera from behind his counter to snap a quick photo and attach it to the sheet of paper promptly stuck in the window.
With no missing posters up, it looked unlikely that anyone was actively looking for Stew. The more her words of her mother played on my mind, the more I was convinced she was abandoned.
Every store in town had it's own makeshift poster in the window, and every store got to marvel over the newest temporary member of Missy's little family.
Where there were greeting and gifts for me, there was one more for Stew. She lapped up the attention and wasn't afraid to show how excited it made her to be so doted over. She was so much like an excited puppy that it was embarrassing.
Of course, everyone loved her name too. Soup and Stew. It prompted giggles and muses that it suited her somehow.
I felt myself being pushed further aside now that there was something smaller and cuter in the picture now. First she stole my peace, then she stole my name.
Stew was too similar to Soup. Missy kept with her whimsical theme, but she had to remind herself that the kid wasn't going to be living with us forever. Someone would come forward after seeing the posters and little Stew would be back home.
Each passing train would catch her attention, as if her mother would be waiiting at the station for her, but that never came. Every train was just a further reminder for the kid that she was alone.
Someone would come for her, I was sure of it.
One day turned to two. Stew tore up the leaves that had been blown from the garden, and yanked a strip of fabric from Missy's purple coat she was pinning to her mannequin.
Day three came with no news either. Stew watched each train forlornly from the front verandah. She didn't even perk up when Missy fed her in her breaks from sewing. I sat silently beside the kid and watched the world pass with her. She slept on the end of Missy's bed that night for comfort, whimpering in her sleep.
Four days made Stew sink into denial. She was as convinced her mother was going to come for her as I was. Every train rushing by added salt into her wound. She took to ripping up the wildflowers in the ruined field and circling the house like she was trying to familiarise herself with her surroundings.
Who knew what for. If she was leaving, why would she want to remember this little place?
Five days bought with it the sound of an old white ute breaking it's way up the hill towards the leaning fence.
The barking of a single brown and white Border Collie chained to the back had me keeping Stew safely beside me on the veranda. I wasn't going to be responsible if she was mauled by it so soon after recovering from her first ailment.
The owner of the ute was the older gentleman we had passed in the vet. He greeted Missy with a wave and gestered to the old wooden dog kennel in the tray. Now that his working Collie was getting older, it was retiring to a warm place on a soft bed. However, it would be perfect for Missy's two pets.
There were teeth marks around the arched entrance and splits in the timber at the sides, but Missy saw its worth and refused to take such a generous offer for free.
She denied it again and again as he laughed and insisted she take it. When he started sliding it from the tray, Missy had no choice but to accept the gift and help carry it into the yard.
With it placed near the gate, Missy was still adamant on compensating the man for his trouble. Rushing back inside, she returned with the biggest bowl she had of her vegetable soup; the only thing of value she had to offer.
Now the positions were turned, he tried to deny her politely as she pressed it into his hands. Without a fight, he caved and graciously took the meal back to the cute and shooed the curious dog from it.
We watched him leave back along the field that his tyres cut a new path through. The car rocked as it drove onwards with the dog barking enthusiastically the whole way.
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We didn't touch the kennel until the next day. Missy threw on a tan coat and dug up an old can of paint that was a nice light yellow smudge on her clothes.
Used once to patch spots before it had discoloured with age, Missy had left it in the darkest corner of the bottom cupboard alongside the brush. With a little dusting, the can was taken outside so Missy could tap the brush clean and get started on beautifying the kennel.
Stew and I left the verandah to inspect it as Missy worked. She hummed as she painted each thick stroke on and laughed when Stew bent down to sniff at the lid that daubed her nose.
Quickly heading inside for a cloth and snapping on the radio on her way, Missy returned to wipe Stew's nose clean, thinking as she looked at the mark.
"Stew, you are a genius!" Missy gasped before grabbing and kissing the top of her head.
When Missy darted inside again, Stew looked to me in confusion.
"I am?"
Even I had no clue what Missy meant and just shrugged.
"She'll love it!" she cradled the jacket she had been steadily working on for the vet assistant "I thought there was just something that was missing from it."
Missing? Missy had done more than enough. The fabric all matched, each seam was carefully stitched, and she even added in deep pockets on both sides.
When Missy returned and kneeled beside us, she smoothed out the fabric of one of the pockets with a smile.
"Now, we do this...."
She pressed Stew's hand into the paint lid then stamped it carefully into the fabric with flourish.
"You too, Soup."
I moved around Stew to do the same and press my hand opposite hers as I was instructed. It was so much bigger than hers and almost took up the whole pocket by itself.
"Perfect" Missy grinned at the glistening paint we all looked at "now she'll know it's from all of us. Isn't it beautiful?"
"I like it" Stew smiled, her tail starting to flop again.
"It was better without the paint" I replied to the blissfully ignorant Missy who scuffed both our heads.
"I'm glad you both think so too."
She placed down the drying fabric on the verandah so she could return to the side of the kennel she painted, humming happily to the music.
Stew watched her with a smile that I could tell held sadness behind it. Even when she fooled around near Missy, it was to distract herself, not the other way around.
She was still dejected about nobody coming for her. Even if she had perked up a bit, it was still obvious her mind wandered beyond the fence around the home.
We knew Stew was only meant to be a temporary patch in this household.
But, Missy's smile was so much wider because of her. There was something about the kid's antics that made her laugh just that little bit harder and delve back into her childish side.
"Stew!" Missy squealed out.
The kid was leaning up against Missy with hands smeared in paint that stained her nice brown coat.
I went to drag Stew off her until I saw Missy was laughing. She swiped Stew with the brush cheekily, squealing again when Stew retaliated by jumping onto the paint lid and launching herself at Missy again.
They laughed and cried out, abandoning the painting to try and dodge each other instead.
"Soup!" Missy stood behind me "save me!"
Stew hesitated when she faced me. I saw her smile drop when she noticed I wasn't sharing their game.
With a smirk, I sidestepped so that Stew had full access to Missy who gasped at my betrayal.
"You missed a spot on the back" I jerked my head to Missy's coat that turned as she ran off again.
Stew's smile returned and she gave chase. They weaved around the kennel and out into the field to try and dodge each other while I retreated safely beside the drying coat to watch them.
It looked like a nice distraction for them both.
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When they both had enough of thier paint fight, both girls staggered through the gate in giggles and came up to where I waited.
Missy saw the dried jacket beside me and gasped, touching her smeared face in realisation.
"Oh! I've got to get that in before the vets close!" she realised "thanks for looking after it for me, Soup!"
Missy darted for the kitchen to scrub her face with a cloth, running for the bathroom where she could check and quickly run a brush through her painted hair.
Instead of trying to tackle the painted parts, she threw her hair up into a messy ponytail and skidded into her room where the sounds of paper were heard.
"I've got no time!" she cried out at the clock she checked, snatching up her helmet, before racing for the verandah to flop herself down beside me.
Missy put the helmet on, leaving the straps dangling as she carefully place the jacket into the paper she smoothed so she could fold it over and secure it with twine.
Pulling out a marker, Missy flipped over the parcel.
"With love; Soup, Stew, and Missy" she muttered as she wrote it with flourish "it's done!"
Missy raced for the stairs, clutching her parcel in excited exasperation.
"Helmet!" I called out to her at the gate.
"Oh" she exhaled as she snapped it in place and tightened it, waving "thanks Soup!"
We watched Missy stumble into view with her scooter she jumped onto and kicked to life. Warbling the horn once, she waved again before speeding off through the fields for town.
I gazed at Stew's paint smeared face, hands, and body that sat simply beside me.
"You need a bath."
She picked up her light yellow hands to turn them over and give a small smile.
"Mama might actually like it better like this" Stew almost whispered, only pausing to watch the approaching train speed past with a horn of greeting to us "she might be on that one..."
"Oh."
She never gave up on someone who had long ago for her.
I wasn't going to stop her if her heart was set on the train her little eyes never left.
When they did, they glimpsed to me briefly; guiltily.
She had been waiting for this opportunity. With Missy gone, there was nothing stopping her now.
"Goodbye, Soup."
Stew slid down the stairs and around the open gate to bolt through the crushed grass for the tracks her little body sprinted alongside.
I did nothing as I watched her grow smaller and smaller until she was swallowed up into nothingness.
The wind brushed against me as I remained on the verandah. Stew's painted prints were smudged beside me, down into their disappearance into the grass.
My eyes danced over the unfinished kennel the tracks ran past to spot something on the side.
Leaving my post, I slowly rounded on it to see Missy had planted a two handprints of her own above where Soup had been stamping along near the bottom. It liked like a border of flowers with each stem Missy had stroked beneath the prints. Her two; one above the other, we're splayed so they looked like a flower themselves.
The only one missing from the picture was mine.
With the paint can still left out, I dipped my hand carefully against the surface. Yellow paint dribbled to the kennel I pushed my hand against beside Missy's. I kept it there for a moment before peeling and placing it upside-down like she had done.
As the paint dripped down the wood, I sat there, wondering if I should have done more to stop Stew from chasing the train.
The picture looked like one that a family would make. It made me smile seeing it finally complete.
Stew had her own family. This is what I wanted from the start.
But, if it was, why did I feel so.... lost?
Stew added something to us. She made Missy happier in other ways that I couldn't. She enjoyed that little bit of chaos in her life that couldn't come from simple bowls of soup overlooking the wildflowers.
And when Missy got back, she would see it was quiet again; just how I had wished it.
She would blame herself, just like I was trying not to do.
Without Stew, it was too quiet.
The wind flicked through the grass and creaked at the fence. The calls of distant birds flashed through the sky they glided through. Leaves bristled from the broken garden out the back as a rabbit took it's opportunity to ravage it.
I missed the sound of her stupid tail beating the ground like a dog, or her breathless giggles zipping around the field with Missy's.
The bowls wouldn't scrape across the floor so comically, neither would Missy have to wake to soothe Stew's whining.
But, with every tired awakening, Missy found solace in her sewing. She snorted at how Stew ate so savagely apart from us, and really relished in running in a field only once longingly gazed at. The beating of the tail pulled lighthearted jokes from Missy that even made me hold back laughter.
Where would that be now?
"Damn it."
Trudging out the gate, I hesitated.
Then, I ran.
I followed the trackside into town where Stew would have gone. Sprinting over the broken grass and flowers, I felt the burn through my body that had been dull for so long now. The sun warmed the air and beat down on my body flying over the debris.
It really was freeing to run like this. Maybe one day, I could really let loose with little Stew at my side. Missy would race us in her scooter. We would win, of course.
The thought made me smile. Stew still had so much to learn. She'd only continue to be a sad shell of a creature if she kept following these tracks.
I bolted up towards the station where I saw Bartie sitting opposite of at his corner store with his usual newspaper. I slowed when I saw him give a little grin and shake of his head as he pointed towards the overpass Stew would have taken.
Checking the tracks carefully, I sped on with determination over the very spot both me and Missy were forced to leap for safety.
It really was a long way down to the grassy hill below. I was amazed we had come out of it so unscathed.
Stew wasn't down there either. Scanning the trees and fields, I continued to run along the tracks.
Rocks flicked and old wooden boards groaned under my weight thundering over them. As soon as the long grass pushed up again on the other side of the dangerous pass, I took to it instead and followed the path already cut into it.
Stew couldn’t be much further. We were already several kilometres in leaving the town behind us for good.
Then, I found her.
Up ahead, shuffling in the distance along the tracks, was Stew. The paint along her was cracked under the heat of the sun. She hung her head as she dawdled in the direction she was going to follow as far as her body would allow again.
"You know, it's dangerous to walk on the tracks!" I called out to her.
Her little face turned and waited for me to catch up before trudging on again with me beside her.
"How long are you going to go?" I jerked my head to the distance.
She shrugged.
"As far as I can go" her eyes glistened up at me.
I checked the empty track behind us and saw how much further we were getting at this steady pace.
We'd be long gone even before night fell.
Stew wouldn't make it far. She'd last maybe a day or two before she collapsed again. She just didn't have the energy to haul herself cross-country like this.
I could see how malnourished she still was as she walked beside me. She was just skin and bone, running on determination alone.
"Are you following me?" she spoke up when I kept by her side.
"I don't even know where we are going."
"Me either" Stew admitted "but Mama goes this way. She'll be up there somewhere."
We kept going in silence. I checked behind us again.
"Will she recognise you?" I started as I glanced over her cracked body "I don't think even I know who you are."
Stew smiled weakly and snorted.
"Don't be silly" she chuckled back "Mama will like me better this way."
"Because you don't look like you?"
Stew paused for a moment then forced herself to keep going.
"Stew" I rounded to her front to block her way "look. You don't need to hide it."
I could see trails from where tears had dried down her cheeks. Her red eyes looked away from mine when I picked up a coated hand in my dried one. The paint flaked when I brushed it off to reveal the darkness underneath.
She slipped her hand from mine and moved around me to keep walking.
"Mama will be waiting for me."
I didn't follow her. I stayed on the tracks, watching Stew continue on alone.
"Well...." I began "....you're going the wrong way."
Stew stopped again and turned in confusion.
I smiled to her and jerked my head behind me.
"Mama is back that way."
Tears spilled from her eyes as she remained glued on the spot. She took a small step towards me, then stared longingly behind her at the way she had been going.
"She'll worry if you aren't back for dinner."
I felt my own tears rolling silently down my face. Stew's trembled and splattered onto the tracks she sprinted over to throw herself at me, sobbing.
"Hey, hey" I tried to laugh "you can cry when you have something to be sad about."
Stew pulled her face up from me, sniffling as I held her face in my hands and wiped her eyes with my thumbs.
"Now, how about we get off the tracks before we turn into a Soup and Stew for real?"
Stew snorted at my joke and leapt into the long grass beside me, her tail flicking as we turned back to follow the tracks home.
"Will Mama be OK with having me there?" her voice piped up uncertainly.
"She already loves you more than you know" I replied fondly.
"And you too?"
I smirked, shoving Stew with my shoulder to make her stagger and laugh.
"Mama's heart is big enough for the two of us."
"Forever and ever?" Stew grinned up at me, her tail flicking in delight again.
I grinned back at it, nodding.
"Forever and ever."
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