Chapter 6: All in the past
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After all, what is that?....I think it was a long day. As usual, I woke up at 6 a.m., went to work, and nothing changed, but a series of things happened. Like a sequence of events in one day like five years ago. The road in front of the building was deserted because it was already past 2 am. Black cement material and white lines show that this is a road only for cars. That path is tempting me to just cross over. The darkness and emptiness of the night give me a hallucination from time to time. Everything stops. The feeling of the moment frozen in that instant is as cool as the night air.
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"You must be very tired."
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A voice called out to wake me up to reality. The boy was also waiting for the manager's car to bring me in front of the building. I came to my senses and blurted Not really to him, I'm not exactly tired either.
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"You said you were a delivery man, didn't you?"
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I nodded.
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"Woah, but you don't look like a delivery man at all. Because you can be seen any way as a person with a strong personality, me and the manager thought you were in a gang but wanted to reform the law like that, hahaha….Um, are you really a gangster?"
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"No."
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"Of course…"
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"I do something else like that....Just kidding."
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When the boy who was frozen in fear as if he was about to run away realized it was a joke, his face lit up in an instant.
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"Y-you….Wa…I didn't expect it. Hahaha…you…you know how to joke. Why? Do you suddenly feel that we are closer?"
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Can you pretend I'm not joking? I asked the question while thinking.
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"By the way, how old are you? I think you are older than me."
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"26."
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"I know that. I'm 21 years old, and in my second year in theater and cinema. Ah, what is your name?"
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He shouted as if he was blaming himself for almost forgetting the most important thing, but a resounding noise swallowed his hearing loss.
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Brrr!!!
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The sound of a nearby car engine was so loud that I thought I could tilt the earth's axis. A sports car shot out from the basement parking lot of the building. Obviously it's not the manager's car we're waiting for. It was a luxury car, and it drove past us roughly. When the noise of the car faded away, leaving behind a haze of dust, a small grumbling sound came from next to it.
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"It's Yoohan hyung's car."
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He turned his head to look in the direction the car had disappeared, then shrugged at me.
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"Yoohan hyung is quite a car junkie. If he can drive a good car, he's more proud than being able to become like the artists he aims to be. He bought that foreign car when he transferred to this company. The funny thing is that the price of that car is exactly the same as the amount he cheated from the manager. Tsk...The more I think about it, the angrier I get."
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He glanced at the end of the empty street where the car had lost its shadow. I also followed and asked.
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"Who is that?"
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"Yes?"
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"Who is the artist he is aiming for?"
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He tilted his head and listed several names. Most of them seem to be quite famous, because even I am somewhat familiar with these names. Immediately there was an explanation that supported my thinking.
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"They are all top leading actors. They are also under Dream. Yoohan hyung's forte is to look exactly like those people. The funny thing is that not only in dramas but also on TV shows, he tries to put on the same facial expression and tone of voice that is who he really is. So tired, who can do it? I can't believe he even has to act everyday. "
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He suddenly shook his head and asked again.
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"Ah, name! You must tell me your name. My name is Lee Hansoo."
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"......"
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"......"
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" Uh, name...."
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" Lee Yoohan."
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"Ah….Huh?...So, Yoohan hyung's name…"
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He frantically pointed at the disappearing car.
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"You have the same name....Oh no, that's just Yoohan hyung's stage name….Um, but didn't you say you two knew each other before?"
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I wasn't sure how to respond, but fortunately, at that moment an old car that looked like it belonged to the manager ran up to us.
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Brr.
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The manager stopped the car with the sound of an old engine, excitedly lowered the car door and waved to us.
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"Come on, you guys get in the car."
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"Manager!"
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Hansoo ran to the side of the car door, looked at me and shivered and cried out.
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"Do you know what? His name...is Lee Yoohan."
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"Huh, really? Nice name…but."
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The uncle stiffened at the boy's words, then calmed down with an expression as if he were thinking whilst looking at me.
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"Well, it's just a name, you can use a stage name….Um, you're older than Hansoo right? So Hansoo should call you hyung."
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Seeing that the uncle was trying to change the atmosphere and talking in a bright tone, Hansoo also answered briskly.
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"Oh yes...Can I call you hyung?"
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"No..."
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"Huh?"
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"I don't like...Don't call me hyung."
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I flatly refused and went to open the back door of the car. I could feel the two of them looking this way, but I purposely got in the car to avoid eye contact. After a long while, I closed my eyes as the car started to shift. Sleepiness came as if wanting to end a long day. Because it's a big entertainment company, a lot of people come to be artists. The acting academy side also sends applications every month. But sent so many that it was impossible to meet all of them one by one. There are many other managers who like to go casting like me.
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Since the person in charge can't always go to the casting people like you, they hold interviews about 2-3 times a month. This interview itself is only held for those who already have a profile picture, so passing this round is considered to have passed a door. Of course, the interview was so brutal that most of it failed.
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"But Yoohan….Hmm, it's really cool that you're going to do a one-on-one interview without planning it in advance! Actually, I don't even know what the end is. Well, of course I would have informed him that he had been cast by me , but I did not expect him to contact me so suddenly. Why do I feel so stressed? Maybe they trust my eyes to open the interview like that...Or are they testing me..."
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The manager worried for a long time and then begged me to come practice for the interview after work. If that's the case then we'll have to meet again at 12 o'clock at night, but that shouldn't be a problem. I only slept for 3 hours and went back to work, but I didn't feel sleepy or tired until the delivery was done. I'm not too worried about tomorrow's interview. But this morning's conversation with the factory manager kept stuck in my head.
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"You quit your job?"
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"Yes."
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I replied and he immediately complained.
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"Ahhh…no more…."
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The surprising thing is that he was more worried about the new hire problem than getting me to stay. Don't people usually want to hold people first? He stopped rubbing his head and let out a long sigh while I was still thinking.
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"But you still have to stay until someone new? Huh?"
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I nodded and asked unconsciously.
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"Why don't you hold me?"
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He hesitated, then gave me an answer I didn't expect.
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"You look like you will leave at any moment."
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"......."
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{"..."}
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"Yoohan, although you never mentioned it before, how should I....You work too hard. In more than 3 years of working here. No leave, don't mind working during the holidays, had to rush delivery from the start with other staff. Well, sometimes there are people like you because they also need money, but you are a little different."
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"What's the difference ?"
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When I asked, he mumbled, "That..." and scratched his head.
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"Like this job is just one of my goals. And at some point, I think you'll leave as if nothing ever happened. Don't tell me you're worried, okay? If you don't go, I will send you away too."
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He smiled and pretended to be joking and then asked more.
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"Do you have another job?"
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"Yes....There's something I want to do
I will do well in anything."
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He smiled and praised me, then pushed me to work.
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After work, I met the manager again in the middle of the night. I understood why the words of the school workshop still linger in my mind. The language he used confused me to the point of being a little uncomfortable. What I wanted to do I didn't have time for so I couldn't do it. We all met only at night. The manager, after greeting me with a smile, took me down to the basement of the building. I was led to a small empty room in a suite that looked like it was used for dance practice. Even though it was night, there were still many people in the practice rooms, the lights were bright and the music was played softly. When I entered the practice room with a mirror wall on the front, the uncle led me to the mirror.
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"It's an interview tomorrow, so you can't practice acting for a few hours, but at least you can't be too awkward."
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When I stared at him as if in need of an explanation, he noticed.....said something about the interview.
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"I was only observed a few times, first they would ask the contestants questions in turn. If they answered incorrectly or caught any errors, they would be kicked out immediately. In interviews, usually the contestants often show off their special skills, these guys have been preparing for the interview for months so just asking a few questions well, it depends on who is in charge. Me? I can't express my feelings immediately after just a few words."
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The uncle stopped talking and lowered his voice with a quiet look in his eyes.
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"There are many people who want to become such an artist. Everyone has to prepare for a long time and put in a lot of effort....So it's best for you to give up on becoming a celebrity easily....Even if you have luck and talent, you must never relax. If you don't work hard, you will lose everything one day."
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"I understand. I will end it right before the moment I lose all that luck and talent."
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"End...You mean you'll leave when you're done with your revenge?"
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"Yes."
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"......."
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"Manager...Let me make it clear again. I am intending to take revenge. That is my aim. So if you don't like it, turn around and leave immediately."
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I hope he will understand the meaning of these words. He lowered his eyes and looked at his hands with an awkward look .
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"Yes. But I also need a few things. Like you said, I still have to earn money for the children's education. Actually, today I got fired from my management position."
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As expected, the uncle still didn't say anything. He smiled and patted my hand to tell me not to worry because he thought I was confused.
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"So you do whatever you want.....Go
Alright, let's try harder. You don't know. If you put in the effort, maybe your goal will turn into acting."
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While smiling, he suddenly asked .
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"Do you want to do anything other than acting?"
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"I have nothing to do, but my goal is to be an actor."
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"Really? Yoohan...Is it because Myeongshin is an actor?"
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Nodding. I asked something that I was curious about. The drama Myeongshin is aiming for next year. When I said the title, the manager answered the date.
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"It was a grand project. The original is already a bestseller, the movie version released last year was also very successful. So if the drama is also shown, the popularity will be guaranteed. But what about that drama?"
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"I think Myeongshin is aiming for the main role of that drama."
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His expression slightly distorted my words.
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"He's still not qualified to take on that role. Myeongshin almost always plays light idol dramas, his image doesn't match. Come to think of it…his mood has been unstable lately...what kind, is it because of this?"
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The uncle tilted his head and mumbled a little and asked.
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"And how do you know this?"
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I walked away instead of answering.
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"He is hitting on director Yoon of this company because he thinks he will be the sponsor for the movie. Does it have anything to do with it?"
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"Y….Yoo…Director Yoon?!!!!!"
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The uncle panicked, his eyes wide, looking like a cartoon character. It seemed that the uncle was really scared so I held my breath for a moment and asked if it was really Director Yoon. He nodded.
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"Oh man...No matter how fast he wants to enter the entertainment industry, he has to dodge the person he needs to dodge. Why is it Director Yoon..."
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The uncle shook his head and said in a sorrowful tone.
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"If he is caught, even if he is a top star, Director Yoon can easily drag that person's head into the water, he is not afraid of anything."
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He still couldn't hide his sadness and worries, constantly saying that he would be ruined by fame no matter what. Maybe there's still a little bit of affection left. He sighed and looked back at me.
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"I'm sure there are many reasons why he wants director Yoon to become a sponsor. Once he grasps the true power of the company, won't he receive the full support of the entire company? I also heard that this place is one of the few entertainment companies that can put pressure on broadcasters, and can even participate in the editing process for dramas."
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He shook his head.
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"No, can't be taken lightly. He's extremely capable, looking at making a lot of profit in just a few years working at an American film investment company, I see the possibility. His box office strategy was excellent. Even after I moved here, the artists still changed a lot, but the first month was still terrible. Once contacted through sponsors, they are not under absolute pressure so they can still maintain it to the present. Anyway, if not supported by the company, actors are just puppets. Myeongshin is also pursuing his goal, but….Well, if it's the lead role of that drama, it's probably due to copyright issues."
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"Copyright?"
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"Our company owns the drama rights to that work. So it's only natural that Dream wants to take on the whole movie's roles, including the main character. We're just at the standard stage. If you want to take revenge on a role like Myeongshin, he'll just laugh and listen, but if you….also want Director Yoon to be your sponsor, I would strongly oppose it."
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"....I'm not planning on having him as my sponsor. Though it's true I need him…So what do I do now?"
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When I changed the subject, the uncle brought me closer to the mirror with a refreshed look on his face. forcing me to take a closer look at my face .
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"Now let's practice for the interview. Answer the question I put to you and see how your expression changes. You should know what your face looks like, right?"
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When the uncle spoke, I stared at myself in the mirror. A somewhat emaciated and emotionless face. The lips were a little swollen and scaly. It was the first clear view of myself in many years. It looked so strange, like I was looking at someone other than me.
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"If we had had more time, we could have prepared some special skills for the interview, but today. You should also try to master some simple lines first."
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Lines, does that mean acting? At my questioning gaze, he shrugged.
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"Of course you'll be worried because you've never acted before. But it'll be fine. If you can't read the lines, just show your true self. Anyway, it's better to prepare in advance. Well, even if it's just reading simple lines, it's a bit difficult... "
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"I tried reading lines."
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"Huh? What are you talking about?"
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The uncle stared at me as I corrected my words.
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"I used to read the lines."
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I never thought that living with Myeongshin in the past would be as useful as it is now.
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Why not? He's someone who wants to be an actor, and I'm just helping him memorize lines with a bored expression and read lines to the other person.
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At first, I just thought of it as a Korean book to read. However, he became more energetic and talkative during rehearsals, and he began to get frustrated with my nonchalant attitude.
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"Hey, read it with some emotion. If you're acting, you should act as happy as the person in this script!"
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"What is it? Are you shy? Haha…a famous name as thick as you are saying that now, funny chair. Turns out there's also something you can't do…"
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I was touched by his provocations and so deliberately read the lines in a more ridiculous way. The more I read, the more interesting I found it. Gradually, from a boring and annoying activity, it became a part of everyday life. We laughed at each other and eventually turned it into a joke.
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Those are memories long ago and now faded , the script the manager gave me helped me read some lines.
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At least I don't feel shy anymore. Leaving behind my uncle's surprised expression, I didn't go home early in the morning, but went straight to the internet shop. I put in the CD I received from the manager and put on my headphones.
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I asked Mr. Choi to show me the recordings of the actors he took on. He inserted the disk And the CD played automatically, a figure appeared on the screen. A boy whispered sweet words with a gentle smile. I chose a scene from the CD and watched it over and over again until dawn.
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When I left the net shop, I felt like I was Myeongshin in that drama.
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