I tapped my fingers on my laptop’s keys, waiting for information that needed to be written down. I wasn’t exactly one for note-taking but figured in college it would become more important. I also wasn’t one for studying but had been working on that as well. I had been working hard to keep up with my homework since I really hated doing it but wanted to keep my grades up. Somehow back in high school, I had passed my math classes without ever turning in the homework and by quizzes and tests alone.
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My phone buzzed with a notification, dragging my attention away from the lecture as I pulled it out of my pocket to check it. It was another message from the sugar daddy website. Skeptically, I opened the message, followed by the profile. The man was attractive, looking to be in his forties or fifties. He had dark hair and a peppered gray beard, and slightly tanned skin. I opened the message once again and read over it this time.
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“Hello, Malia. My name is Arthur. I found your profile and thought you were exceedingly beautiful.” I smiled slightly at the compliment. “So I had to message you. I hope you are doing well today.”
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I quickly wrote a message back without another thought. The other men I had chatted with seemed to have only one thing in mind, going as far as telling me how much they’d pay for certain sex acts, but Arthur seemed to be taking it slower than that, at least.
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“Hi, Arthur. My day has been fine so far! I’m a college student, so I’m in classes right now, but saw your message and had to respond. I find you really attractive too. :)”
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He responded almost immediately, scolding me for texting during class but saying he was flattered that I was doing it. We proceeded to chat through the rest of my classes, getting to know one another somewhat. I wasn’t used to messaging people, but I admittedly enjoyed it with him. I still felt weird about going into a relationship with the only motives being money, but I suppose, if we were to go farther, he’d know what he was getting into, and I wouldn’t be doing it under a false pretense.
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Eventually, it was lunchtime, and I had to meet up with Chani. I told her that I had come out to Alice, and she wanted to talk about it, so we agreed to meet up. Not saying that we don’t usually hang out most days anyway.
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I spotted Chani already sitting down at a table, her, currently red, hair standing out from most of the other students.
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“Hey.” I smiled at her as I took a seat.
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“Hey, girly. How are you doing?”
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“Alright.” I shrugged. “Bit down about how Alice responded.”
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“Tell me about it, Mal.” She tilted her head to the side sympathetically.
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“Well, I told her, and she was really…blasé about it, I guess.” I shook my head, sighing.
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“It’s probably because she’s straight and has no idea what it’s like to be queer, Mali.” Chani pointed out what I had already felt.
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I nodded weakly. “I know. She thinks it’s just no big deal.”
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“Even though it took a lot of courage to come out to her.” Chani finished my thought.
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“Yeah.”
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“Well, what’re you going to do now? She didn’t tell you that she is too, right? So, do you think you still have a chance?”
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“No, I guess not.” I slumped over.
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“I think you should move on. Even if it’s not with me.”
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“It’s not going ot be easy. I’ve had a crush on her since middle school.”
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“I know.” Chani nodded knowingly. “But I think it’ll really help you.”
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“Well…I have been messaging a guy from this website, as of today, that is.”
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“Which website?”
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“Alice…convinced me to join a sugar daddy website.” I spoke quietly.
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“Good for you.” Chani shrugged with a smile. “Might as well do that rather than get a job.” She laughed. “If I liked dick, I’d totally do it.”
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“You can also meet women.”
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“Might try it for myself then.” I smiled slightly at her comment. “Anyways, if you’re going with the moving on choice, want to go out on a date?”
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“Can I…get back to you on it?”
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“Course, Mal. No rush.” She smiled at me widely. She really was stunning. I just wasn’t sure if I could move on from Alice so easily.
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“You dressed yet?” Alice walked into our dorm room while putting in a hoop earring, both hands to her ear. She didn’t even wait for my answer before coming in.
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“Nearly” I bounced up and down, trying to get my fishnets pulled up all the way.
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“Your makeup’s not even done.” She pouted. “You’re not ready at all.”
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“Just toss on some thick eyeliner and black lipstick and I’ll be fine.” I shrugged, walking over to my bed to pick up the skirt I intended to wear.
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“Let me do it for you!” She smiled over at me widely.
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“Sure.” I smiled back at her. I always loved it when she did my makeup. She would give me so much attention during that time, always trying to pick out what best compliments me, making sure to give me the best primers and setting sprays from her collection. Even if it’d end up looking differently from how I’d do it myself, I always thought it was fun.
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“Yay!” She cheered as I slipped my shirt on. “Sit down!”
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I bounced my knee as Alice, and I drove around looking for a parking space. The street was packed with cars already, and we were early. I was nervous as hell. Parties surely aren’t my thing, but Alice had wanted me to come with her to be her wingman. Thankfully Chani said she would go if I did, so I would have someone to hang out with when Alice inevitably ditched me for some quarterback.
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“Finally.” Alice pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off before facing me. “Ready?”
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“As I’ll ever be.” I nodded slowly, watching as she got out of the car before following suit.
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Alice grabbed the liquor out of the backseat before we started walking towards the party. I couldn’t help as my eyes lingered on her. She looked amazing. Her slightly tanned skin glittered in the street lights, encased in her tight latex dress. She always looked good, but tonight she looked like a fucking treat. I just knew the treat was for someone else.
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We got into the party without trouble. The house was large and nice, nicer than any house I had been in before, though Alice’s house was the nicest one I had been in and though she was rich, living out in the middle of nowhere meant they had a ranch instead of a mansion like this.
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It didn’t take long for Alice to start socializing. I slipped away to grab us some beers but returned to find her nowhere to be seen. She had ditched me barely ten minutes into the party, not even texting me. I sighed and took a seat on one of the couches. I imagined this house was someone’s parent’s but had no idea who had hosted the party. I only even knew of the party because of Alice and all of her dubious contacts.
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I watched the room, watched people laugh, talk, dance. I felt out of place, more than usual. I didn’t fit in and never really did. I always felt like Alice had taken pity on me when we were kids, which is why she let me stick around. Not that it made me feel any better. Sure, I’m glad we’re still friends, but I don’t want to just feel like a convenience, like a friend only when she’s not busy with some guy.
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I sighed, looking down at the drinks sadly. I shouldn’t be here.
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“Hey.” I looked up to see a smiling Chani. She was dressed in full black as usual but showing a bit more skin. She looked amazing.
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“Hi.” I smiled slightly.
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“Why’re you still on the couch by yourself?”
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“Alice ditched me.” I shrugged. “Guess she found someone else to hang out with when I went to get the drinks.” I held them up slightly.
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“I’ll take one.” Chani smiled at me softly, taking a seat next to me. She took a drink out of my hand before taking a sip. “Thanks.”
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“No problem. Did you just get here?”
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“Yeah. Took forever to find a place to park.”
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“Us too.” I nodded.
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“So…” She trailed off, seeming more nervous than her usual self. “Did you think over the date?”
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“Not really.” I admitted. “What did you have in mind, though?”
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“I thought we could do something fun. Like urban exploring. I know a few places I haven’t been yet.”
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“Sounds…like fun.” I smiled. “Doesn’t have the be a date, though.”
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“True, but it could be.” She shrugged.
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“I’ll go with you, and we can decide if it was a date or not afterward.”
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“Fair enough.” Chani smiled, before grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “Let’s go find something to do. Can’t spend the whole party hiding away.”
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We walked through the party, looking for anyone we recognized. Eventually, we stumbled upon Chani’s roommate and boyfriend hanging out with a handful of people. Chani’s roommate, Nicole, instantly lit up as she saw Chani, getting up and hugging her. Chani awkwardly patted her back until she backed up.
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“We’re about to play truth or dare, you have to play!”
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“I don’t know.” Chani looked back at me. I shrugged, not really caring either way. “Sure.”
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We found our spots around the circle and settled in. The first few guys did dares, which mostly consisted of chugging a beer or taking a shot, but when it came to Chani and she said dare, Nicole’s boyfriend told her to kiss one of the guys.
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“Dean…” Nicole nudged him and then lowered her voice. “She’s gay.”
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“Oh. okay.” He smirked. “Then kiss her instead.” He pointed a finger at me.
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Chani looked over at me cautiously. She moved in closer and spoke. “We don’t have to, Mali.”
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“You were dared…” I cracked a smile, causing her to smile too.
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Chani tenderly leaned in and placed a hand on my cheek. Her dark brown eyes locked with mine. I could feel her breath on my face, gently and almost tickling. So close I could breathe her perfume in. It took what felt like forever for her to press her lips against mine. But when her lips finally met mine, there was a spark as if she had shocked me on my lip, electric.
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“With tongue!” Dean yelled.
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Chani slipped her tongue into my open mouth, tilting her head to the side slightly. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment, savoring her minty saliva.
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“Damn!” Dean and the other guys cheered as we split.
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There were goosebumps on my skin as a result of the kiss. Of my first perfect kiss. Not an awkward peck with a pubescent boy who didn’t know how to even kiss, but a real kiss.
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Chani’s eyes never left mine as she pulled back, a smile on her face. “I hope it’ll be a date.”
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I smiled slightly. “It might have to be.”
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