◽SENSELESS◽
◽THIRD PERSON'S POV◽
"Shut up," his cold, hard stare bore into her. He had never been this stern, even during her most condescending moments. She knew she was crossing a line but had reached a point of no return, determined to secure the only thing that guaranteed her life and future.
"You can't make me, Mr A," she said, her chest heaving. "Your father wouldn’t be so hard on you if you just agreed to screw your morals. If you don’t like the idea of me being a surrogate, then just fuck me, Mr A. Its a no strings attached." She knew that digging into his pain was her best tactic.
He took deliberate steps toward her, and she moved back. She wasn’t one to scare easily, but she had never seen this side of him before.
"Why do such foul words come from such a beautiful mouth?" he asked, his eyes locked onto hers. She felt her resolve weaken under his gaze. She always stood her ground when necessary, but having him this close clouded her judgment. She felt she might say something regrettable if she wasn't careful.
"Fine, surrogacy it is," he finally said, she exhaled a sigh of relief and smiling in triumph. "See? It wasn’t so hard, was it?" She placed her hand on his chest, trying to create space between them, but he wouldn’t move, continuing to look down at her.
He took her hand gently, lifting it off his chest. "You may think you've won, but I know the games you are playing."
◽◽◽◽
"Your partner is quite healthy, Mr. Angelini, and we might not need an egg donor. Her health is excellent," the doctor said, reviewing the test results.
Marco was torn. He knew Marian could be unpredictable and didn’t want a future complication. But he also realized that going through with this plan might be the only way to shield her from his father's interference. Over time, he had grown used to her presence
"If you’re ready, we can proceed to the next steps," the doctor continued. "We’ll start by synchronizing the surrogate's cycle with hers through medication. Once that's complete, we'll retrieve her eggs and fertilize them with your sperm in a lab. After a few days, we'll transfer the embryo to the Marian's uterus."
Marco nodded, taking it all in. Despite his reservations, he was determined to make this work. "Let’s schedule the earliest appointment possible," he said.
Marian wasn’t trembling, but her mind was racing. Could she really go through with this? Did it make sense?
Sensing her hesitation, Marco placed his hand reassuringly on hers.
She took a deep breath and decided almost immediately. This was the only way to ensure her life didn’t come to a standstill.
They scheduled the procedure for two weeks later.
As the buildings blurred past the car window on their way home, she hated having to wait two more weeks before she could fully embrace her decision.
The outside world felt so different, especially after the last time she had stepped out. The house seemed more stifling now.
"Are you hungry?" Marco asked, breaking the silence that enveloped the car.
"Yeah, a little," she replied, though she wasn't in the mood for conversation. It felt like a classic case of Stockholm syndrome.
Why did she find him so appealing when she should be planning his demise for disrupting her life?
"Can we stop at Providence? I’m craving seafood," she said, waiting for a response. After all, if she was going to carry his baby just for the little price of completing her finals, the least he could do was cater to her food cravings.
Looking at him was a mistake. He was so attractive that it was hard to stay upset. Especially with him leaning back, making a turn with only one of his hand on the wheel
She bit her lip and turned away, feeling her cheeks warm up. How could she not fall for him when he was so incredibly hot?
He pulled up right in front of Providence, acting as though he didn’t care at all.
She didn’t realize she was smiling until he pointed it out, causing her to grimace. He didn’t need to call her out like that.
He ordered food to go and even carried it to the car, making her smile despite herself.
Once home, he set the food on the table and suggested she took a shower before eating. Too tired to argue or fuss as she normally would, she obliged. After showering, she returned to find he wasn’t there. She noticed he hadn't ordered for himself, so she had ordered extra for him.
Is he pretending not to notice, or does he really not see that the food could feed three people?
She went upstairs again. He hadn’t brought up the incident when he got drugged or reprimanded her for not following orders, so she figured it was safe to find him now.
She walked up the stairs slowly, pondering her choice to step into potential danger. Every little noise made her jump, and she nearly turned back until she found herself in front of his office. She knocked once, twice—no response.
At least she tried. She was about to leave when the door opened, revealing him in grey sweatpants and nothing else.
Was he trying to be her undoing? Everyone knew teenagers found hot guys appealing, especially the ones in grey sweatpants. "Where are your clothes?" she blurted out, unable to stop herself, trying to push away the thoughts that raced through her mind, she diverted her gaze from the obvious print gracing the pants.
Touching him would likely lead to trouble, but she couldn’t deny the pull she felt. She knew she was hunting for her demise but she wouldn't deny she would die happy if he did so much as touched her
He didn’t answer her question, possibly because she was supposed to stay downstairs. She had never seen him in casual attire before. "Um, I wanted to ask if you’d join me for dinner. I ordered for both of us." Suddenly, she felt shy.
She knew she was still a teenager with raging hormones, wanting to be close to every attractive thing she saw. But why was she acting like an animal in heat?
He looked at her for a moment while she studied the tiles, which seemed more beautiful and interesting than usual.
"Don't say no; I can't finish all the food alone," she pressed, even though he didn’t seem interested. She could just leave it in the fridge or eat with BJ later.
Deciding to listen to her sensible side, she went back downstairs, still unsure of his intentions.
He descended the stairs, one hand in his pocket, hair still wet from his shower, drops of water trailing down his chest
Marian blinked once, twice, he still didn't disappear "he isn't a figment of my imagination after all" she murmured
Marian sighed, rolling her eyes, as he ate his food without speaking to her. "I know about table manners and all, but the tension in here is thick enough to break a diamond," she remarked. He still said nothing.
“Do you see me as just some annoying teenager?” she asked. Surprisingly He nodded, confirming her suspicion. What a jerk, Marian thought.
“You’re interesting too,” Marco eventually said after a prolonged silence.
“I know I am,” Marian shot back. “But you probably mean that as an insult, and I’ll still take it, since you barely talk to me anyway.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she took a bite of the crab. “This is amazing,” she exclaimed with a moan of satisfaction. “I just had a foodgasm.” Marco rolled his eyes in response.
They spent the rest of the day making small talk. Marian did most of the chatting, but it was still the longest conversation they’d ever had.
◽◽◽◽
Finally, the day had come for Marian to face the consequences of her impulsive decision. She gripped the hem of her dress, trying to calm herself with every reassuring thought she could muster, though none seemed to come. Nothing good had happened in her life recently, and this moment felt no different.
“If you can’t go on, we can stop,” Marco offered, his voice unexpectedly soothing. For once, it felt like someone actually cared she was making the wrong decision.
A faint smile crossed her face as she momentarily escaped into one of her daydreams. The nurses and doctor had been kind, and their calm demeanor gave her a small sense of comfort. There was no reason to worry, she told herself. It was just nine months. This was the only thing she could think of that might give her life some stability.
The process of inserting the fertilized egg into the surrogate had been quick and clinical, almost too easy for something that could change so many lives. Yet, for Marian, it was a glimmer of hope in her life that had been anything but certain.
To Mr. Angelini Senior, her life was merely a fragile rope he could sever whenever he pleased.
Marian had to go and study more about how surrogacy worked after the doctor had told her the success rate for women her age was about 60 to 70 percent, giving her anxiety tendencies, she was more worried about the 30 to 40 percent chance of failure
She learned that after the embryo transfer, a blood test was usually conducted about 10-14 days later to measure the levels of hCG, a hormone produced during pregnancy. This test is the first indication of whether the embryo has successfully implanted and if the surrogate was pregnant.
After going in for her test two weeks later, she found herself anxiously waiting for updates. Each phone call from the clinic made her heart race, a mix of hope and fear swirling in her chest. She tried not to let her imagination run wild, she desperately tried to get negative thoughts out of her head but that was who she was.
Then, one afternoon, the call came. The doctor’s voice was gentle but serious, a tone Marian had come to recognize as the prelude to bad news.
"Miss Marian," he began, "I’m afraid the implantation wasn’t successful." The words hit her like a slow-moving wave, the full weight of them sinking in over several seconds. She pressed her lips together, nodding even though no one could see her.
“I see,” she finally whispered, her voice almost too soft to hear. There was a tightness in her throat, a lump she couldn’t swallow down. She had prepared herself for this possibility, told herself over and over not to get her hopes up, but now that it was real, it still hurt.
The doctor continued speaking, explaining the next steps they could take, the other options still available to her. Marian listened, but the words blurred together, lost in the haze of her disappointment. She thanked him, hung up the phone, and sat in the quiet of her room.
She wasn’t one for dramatic outbursts or tears, but the sadness was there, creeping into her like a chill. It was a soft, steady ache, the kind she had felt too many times before. Marian let out a small, resigned sigh. She had thought she had her life guaranteed.
A sad smile played on her lips as she told herself that this was just another twist in the unpredictable journey that was her life.
Immediately she had started brainstorming for something else because that was all she knew how to do.
Think.
◽◽◽◽
Marian hadn’t expected Marco to be so upset. Marco had been so against the surrogacy that she didn’t think he’d be this disheartened when it failed.
She decided to indulge her self in a glass of wine. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, Mr. Angelini. I’m sure it will succeed next time,” she said, attempting to mollify him
She took a sip of the wine, feeling its strong effects immediately since she was quite sensitive to alcohol.
“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Marco slurred, already well into his second bottle, staring blankly. His detached demeanor was unsettling.
“I don’t like seeing you like this,” Marian admitted. Unsure how to console him, she adjusted her chair to face him but nearly toppled over. Marco caught her and pulled her close, until she was enveloped in his embrace. “You know, Marian, you’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice laced with the influence of alcohol; she was feeling tipsy herself.
Opting for another glass of wine wasn’t a smart choice. That’s why she usually stuck to fruit punch when going out with friends.
“Can I kiss you?” Marian asked, captivated by his gaze. She was curious about what his lips would tasted like. Despite everything, she hadn’t had much time to think about him romantically; the way he acted like nothing was ever going to happen between them overshadowed such musing
Being so close to him was all the encouragement she needed. Marco seemed to be waiting for her to say it, and he immediately kissed her.
........
Marian stirred awake, noticing an arm wrapped around her. Her head ached, but it wasn't the only part of her that was in pain. As the grip around her waist tightened, she quickly opened her eyes.
She sat up in a hurry, confirming that she was naked, She screamed, waking the man beside her. Quickly, she stood up, wrapping the sheet around herself. Marco lay naked in the bed, with a red spot marking where she had just gotten up.
“Oh my God,” Marian said as she realized what had happened. She was unsure of what to do next and glanced over at Marco, who was just starting to understand the situation himself.
“Oh my God,” they both exclaimed simultaneously. Marco looked at the spot on the bed, oblivious to the fact that he was still naked, and asked, “You were a virgin?”
“No shit, Sherlock,” Marian muttered. Marco quickly stood up and rushed toward her. “I’m so sorry, I have no idea what came over me. I usually don’t drink this much or blackout like this. I don’t even remember what happened last night.
Marian sighed, knowing it was her fault for having alcohol when she knew she was a lightweight.
She knew she had caused what happened. Marian couldn't blame Marco, knowing he was already wasted before she drank the wine.And he didn’t come on to her; she had initiated everything.“It is not your fault,” she rationalized. It was painful that she had just lost her virginity as if it meant nothing, but there was nothing to do now
There was no use crying over spilled milk. She wrapped the blanket around her tighter, afraid of how quickly her life was moving in the wrong direction.“I feel so guilty.” Marian closed her eyes, just noticing that Marco was void of clothes. “Yeah, maybe a little less guilty if you wore something.” He realized it too.
He wasn’t a stranger to being naked in front of a woman, but for Marian’s comfort, who still had her eyes shut, he walked to his closet to get some pant. While he did that, Marian waddled out, wrapped in his covers, to the guest room, praying she wouldn't encounter any staff on her way.
"Who bleeds in this day and age," she muttered as she walked down the stairs
Later, Marian greeted Marco with a cheerful “Good morning!” pretending as if nothing had happened. Normally, she faced her problems head-on, but this time, she was too afraid to confront it.“I’m sorry,” Marco said, surprising her. Was she in a different realm where he wasn’t the cold mafia boss she knew?
“For what?” she asked.“For doing that to you,” he replied, finding it difficult to touch the subject. Sure, Marian was a blunt woman who spoke her mind. Countless times, she had told Marco to 'fuck her' if it meant ensuring her survival, but he also knew she never meant it. It was a way of guaranteeing that her life wouldn’t be taken.
“Yeah, other than not remembering what it felt like and still feeling fucking sore, what else are you sorry for?” she said, trying to lighten the mood. “It is not your fault. You were wasted, and I thought it was a good idea to drink too. I didn’t expect this ending, but it has happened. Let’s just forget it.” Marco always wondered how a young woman like her could be this smart.
“I’m still responsible for my actions,” he said.“Of course, you had this big dick energy. I just didn’t expect it to be that big,” she replied. Yeah, she was back to her usual self, which was worse for Marco. He knew that was her coping mechanism—turning a trauma into some sort of sick joke.
She could remember when she made a joke about her parent's death "I'm sorry," Marian announced "for what," she cleared her throat "for making you have sex with me."
He mimicked her action not expecting that, he finished his coffee standing up to go "I'll ask the house keeper to get you some drugs, and you are free of all work till next week" by work he was referring to how Marian insisted she did something around the house, she didn't want to be a freeloader
Marian smiles "wow, we should do this more often" she didn't realize how that sounded until she said it out loud
"I'm sorry" Marco shook his head, finding no humor
"Grumpy pants" she muttered, she proceeded to cut the ingredients she was cutting, humming whatever tone came to her mind
She gasped when Marco talked, it wasn't the voice it was the proximity that caused her reaction.
"When did you get so close?" She heaved a deep breath out of nervousness
Despite her usual playful demeanor, she had developed a deep-seated trauma after discovering her parents’ bodies. She was now more cautious, unable to sleep without a light on, and was easily startled by the smallest of things. She now hated being alone and always sought the company of others.
“I thought I told you not to work?” he said, creating a bit of distance between them.“I’m not really working; I’m just cooking,” she replied, but he didn’t wait for any more arguments. He simply picked her up and placed her on a chair, leaving her there.
She was stunned.
Unable to find any words, and stared blankly into the distance, trying to process what had just happened.“I’ll cook,” he said gruffly.“You don’t have to!” Marian objected.“Fine, I'll just wait for the cook,” Marian compromised, only to be met with silence
Marco continued to chop the carrots, tuning Marian out.
◽◽◽◽
“I still don’t see why I can’t do it at my former school,” Marian protested, once again meeting Marco’s deaf ear.
As she sat in the passenger seat of the car, she realized that arguing wouldn’t change his mind. Marco leaned closer, causing Marian to shrink into her seat. She almost whimpered, expecting the worst, but then he reached out to help her with her seatbelt.
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, astonished by the fact that she still feared Marco despite all their time together.They didn’t speak until they reached the exam venue. Marco had already told Marian where he would be waiting since she couldn’t bring her phone into the exam hall.
He was reluctant to leave her alone, but Marian’s dreams and aspirations had been in place long before she met him. Fifteen minutes before the exam, Marian felt queasy, likely from nerves. Her hands trembled, and a wave of nausea washed over her, but missing the SAT wasn’t an option.
The test only happened once a year, and she couldn’t predict what her life would be like in the next two weeks.
Marian took the Lexapro BJ had given her, then hurried to the end of the line, standing at the farthest end.
Taking deep breaths to calm herself, Marian prepared to face the challenge ahead.
As she entered the exam hall, her heart fluttered in her chest. The room buzzed with nervous energy as students settled into their seats.
She clutched her pencil tightly, trying to channel her anxiety into focus. She had studied for months, but the pressure of the SAT was immense. The weight of her dreams rested on this test, and the familiar whisper of doubt crept in. What if I’m not ready? What if I can’t do this? Marian shook her head, forcing herself to focus. "You've got this" she told herself, sitting down and trying to block out the noise of the bustling room and her racing thoughts.
The proctor began distributing the test papers, and Marian took a deep breath, feeling the paper’s weight in her hands. She glanced around, noticing the determined faces of her fellow students. Everyone’s in the same boat, she thought, taking comfort in the shared experience the test’s rhythm.
The Lexapro had taken the edge off her anxiety, allowing her to think clearly and strategically. Focus on what you know, she reminded herself, ignoring the nagging thoughts of doubt.
She knew her life depended on this so she treated each question like a puzzle. and she treated it like a game she intended to win.
She noticed had thirty minutes left so she went through her work.
Satisfied, she put down her pencil and leaned back, taking a moment to breathe. Marian glanced around, seeing exhaustion and relief etched on her peers' faces. She felt the same way.
As the students filed out of the exam hall, Marian spotted Marco waiting outside. He stood by the entrance, his eyes scanning the crowd until they landed on her. His worried look shifted to a soft smile, a rare sight
"How did it go?" Marco asked, Marian shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. "I don't know." Marco chuckled "why was I expecting that answer?" They walked towards the car together.
She felt a sense of accomplishment, she didn't know what was in store of her but at least she fought for what she wanted and even if it was in a twisted way, she
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ns 15.158.61.51da2
