I'm sorry.
I'm so, so, so, so, sorry Selene.
God, I'm sorry.
I ran. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I ran. There's nothing that could be done! I wouldn't have been able to save her! I was careless and now I am paying the price.
Vespertine had been keeping an eye on Doctor Saros. I imagine one of his many little pawns tipped him off that we were speaking. So he made his move. He had barged in, thrown Saros into the gravitational pull of Astrophel and before we knew it, the crescent moon began forming on her head. I don't know what happened afterward. When I saw him turn to me, his green eyes boring into my being, I panicked.
I knew I was next. So I ran.
Thank the heavens I always keep my journal on my person. I was always too paranoid to leave it unattended. It's all I have now. I am currently writing this on the train. I fear that the academy has already been informed of my desertion and have begun hunting me.
I know better than to think I can hide from them.
Selene thought she could stay under their radar and look what happened to her? Just like her, I know the temptation to talk, to drown someone else in my nightmares will eventually consume me. I don't have the strength to make it as long as she did.
So I am pouring the last of my heart into this ink. May the dregs of the man you once knew be enough to jog your memory and may this reach you before they reach me.
My friend,
My brother,
Kayne. I beg of you. Please don't let them get this journal!
. . . . . ╰──╮ꕥ╭──╯ . . . . .
Several Years ago, unnamed city: ⚜Spring Horizons Orphanage⚜
A boy a few inches shorter than me shuffled through the halls. The white walls and buzzing fluorescent lights made my head throb with each step. He had been bugging me all day to come with him outside. All of my excuses seemed to fall on deaf ears.
“I’m too tired.”
“It’s too late.”
“We have to get up early tomorrow for roll call.”
Nothing deterred him in the slightest. If anything he seemed even more determined to get out. The only problem with that is that we would very likely be thrown in solitary confinement for even thinking of attempting to leave the institution. We had been here since we were children. If I had parents, I couldn’t tell you who they were. My earliest memories were at Spring Horizons after all. A facility for “less fortunate children.”
The misfortune we were struck with varied. Some were orphaned or simply abandoned at the doorsteps, others had illnesses that regular hospitals didn’t have the resources to treat. Regardless, nobody was allowed to leave until we came of age. If you asked anyone in the area, they would tell you that the place functioned like a sort of rehabilitation center.
Whenever a kid came “of age” they were whisked away to a loving and most likely affluent family looking to put on a show of being the merciful saviors of a pitiful child that they could then use as nothing more than a servant. But the instructors were always sure to tell us otherwise.
“We’re teaching you the skills you need in order to be upstanding members of society!”
“You were brought here so we could help you be the best of the best!”
“If you follow our teachings then when you finally receive a family to sponsor you, you’ll be able to fit right in to high society!”
“You wouldn’t want to disrespect our efforts by leaving early would you?”
Some of us had a sneaking suspicion that these “adoptions” weren’t really adoptions at all. We’ve seen one too many kids end up in confinement as punishment for trying to leave the institution. They’d be taken in the dead of night and thrown into the small shed hidden within the overgrown weeds of the courtyard. The vines would wrap around the shed, trapping you inside. It didn’t matter how many times you broke off a stem or cut through the brush, by the next morning, it would be overgrown again.
The kids who got thrown in there would be gone for days, some wouldn’t come back at all. The ones that did however, were…off.
I remember seeing one of the younger girls curled against the bathroom door once. Her hands were turning a sickening shade of green and she was hunched over a puddle of bile and leaves. The staff scooped her up and took her away before anyone else saw. She never came back after that though. When her friend’s started to ask about her, all they were told was that she had a bad reaction to her medication and had to be moved to somewhere “better equipped” to treat her. Everyone knew that asking further would likely result in a little trip to the shed, so we would settle into uneasy ignorance.
But I suppose it’s only human nature to crave what we can’t have.
The boy and I were turning 18 soon. I kept telling him that we would be let out soon, we just had to wait a bit longer, but I think he knew just as well as I did that we weren’t going to get out of here unscathed. Perhaps it was a last ditch effort to see what it was like outside before we were forced to confront our inevitable fates. Despite my hesitation, the more he persisted, the less I was able to deny my own curiosity.
I remember the first time I met him like it was yesterday. He was just coming out of treatment for his illness and saw me having dinner by myself. For someone so sickly, he was rather chipper. He had skipped right up to me and insisted on eating together. It didn’t take long for me to learn that his seemingly boundless energy was a brief occurrence that only ever lasted for a few hours following his treatments. Most of the time he was lethargic and withdrawn. I suppose his knack for getting into trouble was a result of always being cooped up or bedridden.
I remember all the nights I would spend at his bedside, keeping him company so he wouldn’t feel so alone in his treatment room. The big laminated file above his bed was always an eyesore though. It frustrated me to no end, seeing as I couldn’t read most of what was on it and despite what they’d have you believe, it’s not like anyone bothered to teach us anything useful in here to begin with.
I was, however, able to pick up bits and pieces using what little reading skills I had managed to teach myself.
Kayne ██████████
Blood Type: A
Condition: ██████ ██ ████ ████ █ █████ and excessive ████ ████████ likely as a result of a hereditary condition.
The only thing I knew of Kayne other than his condition was that his father was some big shot who donated huge sums of money to Spring Horizons just to have Kayne treated here. He was rarely around though. Hardly even visited these past several years. So I doubt Kayne knew much more than I did about the man.
Regardless, here I was in the dead of night, stalking through the halls with him. Kayne was only a couple months younger than me but always acted like he was the one in charge. Though I suppose arguing with him was often more trouble than it was worth, so maybe it wasn’t too far a stretch that he was indeed the one in charge.
“Do you even know where we’re going?” I whispered.
He looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. “Of course I do! One of the girls is getting adopted today. We just have to follow them out. The guards will be too occupied trying to make sure she doesn’t run. Just trust me ok!”
We made it to the entrance, where the headmaster stood with one of the girls who just turned 18. She was being escorted to the courtyard. Kayne’s fingers dug into my wrist slightly harder than he probably realized as he pulled me forward.
“Follow me!” He whispered eagerly.
The place may have been severely overgrown with foliage but it at least made for easy cover. We ducked behind the tall grass and snuck through to a corner of the courtyard, where the guards stopped with the girl. I felt Kayne flinch next to me when a man with bright green eyes and specks of graying hair made his way over to them.
“This is the latest one,” said one of the guards.
The man looked her over and nodded. “She’ll do. Administer the dose.”
Another guard stepped around the man and held a syringe to the girl’s arm. She whimpered and looked at the other guards with a pleading desperation brimming in her eyes, but no one moved to stop what was happening.
“What is that?” I wondered aloud. “It’s too far for me to see.”
Kayne had a blank expression. “Medicine.”
“Huh? How can you tell?”
Kayne remained silent and unmoving as we watched. The girl seemed to freeze up when she was injected with whatever “medicine” was in the syringe but soon afterwards was thrashing about.
“HELP! PLEASE! IT HURTS!” The girl’s face twisted in pain as she wailed in agony. A disturbing mess of mossy greens and blood came flooding from her mouth, causing her to lurch forward and fall to her knees. Within seconds she was writhing on the ground until her screams became softer and softer. Soon, not even distraught whimpers pushed themselves from her lungs and she laid there motionless.
The green eyed man frowned. “I guess having the same blood type isn’t enough for the cure to be compatible…okay. I’ve got the answer I came for. Put her with the rest of them.”
The guards wasted no time in dragging her limp body into the shed. Kayne and I remained hidden until we saw the green eyed man walk away. Once the guards followed him out Kayne made a B line for the shed.
“Wait! What are you doing?” I called as I ran after him.
“I want to see! I have to see!”
“We shouldn’t go in there! Let’s just go back! What if we get caught? They might do worse to us?”
Ignoring me, Kayne pulled the shed door open. He abruptly stumbled back, causing me to run into him. As soon as I approached the door I was hit by an eye watering stench. The girl’s body was haphazardly tossed aside in a corner. She was covered in a thin layer of moss but then again, so was the majority of the shed. Finger like tendrils of vines stuck out of the foliage that littered the floor.
Kayne’s expression was unreadable as he stomped through the shed. He picked up the girl’s broken glasses and sighed. “It’s a shame she couldn’t handle the medicine…” I heard him mumble.
“Have you seen enough yet? We have to-”
Hurried footsteps cut me off and before I knew it, I was being yanked out of the shed.
“WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU’RE DOING?” The guard’s finger nails sank into my shoulder as he held me in place.
Another guard pulled Kayne out, throwing him to the ground next to me before coming to discuss what they should do with us.
“I can’t get in trouble…nonono…he’ll be disappointed in me!” I heard Kayne whisper.
I nudged him gently. “Who?”
Kayne looked at me with utter panic in his eyes. “If I don’t behave, he’ll stop giving me the medicine! I won’t get better! I’ll be stuck here forever! I don’t want to be abandoned Vic!”
“Slow down! Tell me who you’re talking about!”
Kayne was reduced to a sobbing mess beside me. He wouldn't respond to anything I said. His rosy cheeks began to pale again. The way they would right before he was forced into a week or so of bedridden agony. Looking up at the guards, I could tell that they had just about finished talking. I took one last look at Kayne before plucking up the courage to speak to the guard.
Whatever punishment awaited us, Kayne wouldn’t be able to handle it. I knew what I had to do.
“I’m sorry…” The guard’s silent glares were enough to make me feel like the whole world was caving in on me. “I wanted to explore outside. It’s our last few days here. I just wanted to remember what our home for the past 8 years was like.”
“You know that leaving the facility is strictly prohibited.” The base in the guard’s voice rumbled through my head.
“I know but…I just...well…I got curious but…I was scared of coming out alone so I asked Kayne to come with me. He was trying to get me to come back inside but I wouldn’t listen. I’m so, so, sorry! I didn’t mean any harm!”
“You know the rules kid. Get up,” the guard ordered.
The guards pulled me to my feet and away from Kayne. I strained my neck to one side, trying to see what they were going to do to him. Kayne, who was now looking at me with utter relief, was escorted back inside the building. I on the other hand was taken back out into the courtyard, where a sack was forced over my head.
“Wait! What are you doing?” I gasped out in a panic.
Neither of the guards answered me. I fumbled my way into a car. The sound of the door slamming shut and people getting in was all I could pick up on. The guards who got into the car with me whispered to each other while they drove. I stilled, holding my breath as if it would let me hear their conversation better.
“What about the other kid? Are you sure its ok to leave him alone?”
“Do you even know who that kid is? He’s not someone we can punish carelessly. The kid in the back already gave us a confession. That’s all we need.”
Were they talking about Kayne? What did they mean by that? By the time the questions had reached a boiling point in my mind, their whispers faded into the sound of the car’s engine. I couldn’t tell you how long it took for them to let me out. For all I know, they could have been driving in circles for hours just to confuse me. When my stomach was burning with hunger and my head spun with dizziness under the bag, I finally felt the car come to a stop.
I flinched when I felt hands grab at my arms and drag me out of the car. When the bag was pulled off of my head I sucked in a breath of fresh air like I had been starved of it. My eyes burned under the light of the sun. Through squinted eyes I could make out a looming structure in front of me.
Tall, stone walls enclosed an imposing building littered with windows sealed with iron bars and armed guards around every corner. I knew that I had at least made sure that Kayne was spared whatever punishment awaited me and that was the thought that carried me through the front doors of the Wasteland Citadel.
ns 15.158.61.5da2
