Our little group was Kieran, Justin, and me. Sometimes Declan considered himself part of the group, but that was only when he was being teased or bullied. Otherwise, he was with friends that waved with their hands just as much as he did. I was treated just as bad as I was since I was the first day. The difference now was that I had someone's shoulder to cry on.
Brother Francis was certain that I was regressing when I wet the bed. He thought I felt safe if I was a baby. I definitely hated sleeping at school. I snored and I snored loud enough for 10 people. I do not know why people think that snoring should be something to be ashamed of. I mean, you cannot help if you snore when you sleep. Some nice boys tried giving me advice like blowing my nose and even using a clothespeg. That did not help. The rest of the boys just teased me.
There were even problems at the time in our little group. During our last year at the school, Justin was no longer part of it. This happened once when we were playing a game of chess. I was never good at chess. I did not have the patience to wait for the other person to move. Some chess players sit and think about every possible move and this can take a long time. Justin was one of these people. I found out that Justin was also a bad loser. Somehow I was winning the game, knocking all his chess pieces out... one by one.
Justin got frustrated and mad and picked up the chessboard and threw it on the floor. Then he picked up his chair and threw it at me, missing me by a few inches. I shouted that he was totally insane and ran out of the room.
Kieran happened to be there that weekend. He stayed some weekends when he wanted peace to study. He found me sitting on the ground shaking in fear. I told him what happened and he suggested that we go for a walk.
The walk was about Justin when we walked. Kieran thought I should forgive him and at the same time be careful. I was not in shock or anything. I felt like I lost a good friend. I knew that Justin was not like others. I never imagined that he would want to hurt a friend. The only answer I could think of was that he lost control and did not think. If this happened, then he was far more dangerous.
Kieran and I went down by the docks and saw a ship from the Middle East. We looked at the ship and could see no one on it. I needed to forget about Justin so I told Kieran that we should explore the ship. Kieran was very reluctant and told me that we would get kidnapped and be slaves someplace in the Middle East.
Before I knew it, we were on the ship. It was a huge ship and we did not see anyone. The ship was not that interesting. It had one narrow hall after another one. Kieran was very worried, as he thought the ship would start to move or we would be kidnapped. He also wondered if we would get lost. The adventure was cut short when we heard someone ask who we were. I don't think we ever ran so fast out of the ship.
We were laughing as we came back to school. We really felt like we were just some part of a huge adventure or a James Bond film.
This was cut short when Justin tried to speak with us. He was all smiles and it was as if nothing ever happened. I lost my temper with him and told him that he was supposed to be a friend. Friends do not throw chairs at each other. The strange thing was that Justin could not see what he did wrong. His view was that we just had a small disagreement and I should get over it.
I did not get over it. It took me several weeks to speak with him again. I did forgive him, but I did not forget. We were not close friends.
It seems like the whole school heard about Justin's outbreak. This did not matter. I was still bullied. The headmaster even called me in his office and wanted me to tell what Justin did. The headmaster spent a lot of energy on trying to expel Justin. This was the second time that he tried to do it with my help. I denied everything and said what people were saying was just rumors. I did not want Justin expelled because I was bitter or wanted revenge!
It was shortly after this that Brother Aiden came where Kieran, Declan, and I were talking. There were a few months left of school. I dreaded every time that he wanted to speak with me. He would just remind me how I let the school down by not being in the choir or musical. I wondered what he wanted now. The musical was done.
He apologized to me and told me that he was unjust with me in the past few years. He heard why I did not want to sing or be in the musical. Brother Francis must have told him that I was beaten up and the others did not want me there. The apology came very late, but at least Brother Aiden could see what he has done was wrong. I forgave him.
It was not like that everyone that tortured me during the last two years suddenly apologized. I was still called a princess and everyone thought that I was gay.
The little group of Kieran, Declan, (Justin) and I was known as the misfits. Everyone thought we were friends with each other because we could not find other friends. There was an element of truth with this. This did not mean we were not genuine friends. We were happy misfits and we did not consider each other as weird or different.
I must correct myself. Declan was a complainer and did not like me. I did not like him either. However, we tried to be civil with each other because of Kieran. It also helped when another boy called Robin joined our little group. He was not teased or anything. He was a quiet boy that had no need to be popular.
I was now in the headmaster's bad books. I did not help him to expel Justin and I told him that I did not want to join the religious order. I decided that I wanted to be a Franciscan monk. The religious order at the school did nothing to help me in the few years that I was there. Only Brother Francis helped me, and it seemed like the others turned a blind eye. I read a book on Saint Francis. This saint had a heart and through his poverty and humility, could come closer to God and be happy. I wanted to follow his example.
We were now starting to do our final exams. I no longer visited Brother Francis before bed as I stopped wetting the bed. This made me happy and showed me that there was always hope. I did not stop snoring though.
One day Garret came to where Kieran and I were studying. This was a surprise. He was the boy that I met when I first came to school. He made it no secret that he did not want to be associated with me. He told me he needed my help in English. I do not know why I thought he would apologize. It should have come as no shock that he just wanted my help. I reminded him about the time that I nearly chased him after school thinking he was my friend, only to be told that he did not want to be seen with me. In those two years, Garret never spoke with me unless he wanted to bully me. I should have helped him and forgave him, but I looked him in the eye and reminded him he should be careful not to be seen with me. He got no help from me.
It soon was time to leave school. Brother Francis gave me a hug and told me that I survived. He told me never to lose my friendship with God and always think of others.
“You have been teased and bullied,” he reminded me, “You have been humiliated and hurt. You had faith in God and he has shown you there is always hope. In your life, you will always meet misfits and people that our society tramples on. This experience at our school may give you empathy and help these people see the light!”
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