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"One change prepares another"
- Nicolas Machiavel
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8h35 -
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Sitting on the sofa, Cassie asks me tons of questions. I look at her and tell myself that she's much more than a friend. She's a landmark, a horizon, a light and a secret door to my emotions. She helps me through the hard times, she's the only one who can make me laugh and reassure me. She doesn't judge me, accepts everything about me and is always there. I'm like a plant that she nurtures with great care, the treasure of her little garden. She's like a star, lighting up my dark night, knowing my whole story. I thank her mentally and tell her everything, from the neighbor's entrance in the elevator, spending more time than I expected telling her about certain moments. Notably the one where he came close to my lips and my hand automatically crushed against his cheek.
- Xio, you know, it's only a kiss. From what you tell me, this guy's pretty good-looking and he's obviously attracted to you. she tells me.
- Well, it's not just a kiss, it would be my first! And why would he be interested in me? He doesn't even know me! There's got to be something behind it...
- You're a mysterious, dark and attractive woman. Not everyone who wants to get close to you has ulterior motives. she adds, looking up.
She's probably right, but I guess I put up barriers to protect those who want to get to know me. To get close to me is to head straight for the gates of Hell. So kissing someone I don't know seems impossible, but I feel something inside me starting to change, to wake up, to growl, since I met him, and it scares me.
- Cass, I've been feeling things. I announced as she choked on her saliva.
- What kind of things? she wonders.
- Shivers, my heart raced and I had hot flashes when he approached me. It was unpleasant. I added, startled by the memory.
She begins to hold my gaze intently, and I can even pick up the waves of her boiling brain. A smile spreads across her face and grows all the way to her ears.
- Yes, thank goodness it's about time! This guy intrigues me, I want to meet him! she exclaims.
- The way he looks at me... It's as if he already knows me. I mumbled.
- Did he tell you his name?
- Ian.
- Ian, "God is gracious. she says, raising her arms to the sky. That's what his name means. I love him more and more!
Cassie loves everything to do with numerology, first-name symbolism, astrology and spirituality. She even has a dictionary of first-name meanings at home.
- Here's a challenge for you: learn to let yourself go, even if you don't want anything to do with him. All encounters are fortuitous, this one has to be.
- You're playing psychiatrist, Cassie.
- I've been your shrink forever. she says proudly.
- Yeah, and it doesn't work very well. I corrected her, laughing.
- Because you never listen and only do what you want! So don't change the subject. she growls. What else with him?
- He showed me the tattoo on his back.
- He took his clothes off in the elevator? Oh my god, that gives me fantasies! she exclaims, rubbing her hands together. What kind of tattoo is it?
- A woman trapped in a suspended birdcage above a stormy sea. She wears sores all over her body, her gaze empty. Her reflection distorts in the water, and a dragon moves towards her as the sun sets. Incidentally, he has thick scars on his back. He probably wanted to hide them by getting a tattoo.
- Or show them off by creating a work of art like this! she commented.
- I asked him for the tattooist's contact details.
- Ah yes, I can see the type, well detailed and dark. It must have been very beautiful, if that's why you asked. You've been looking for a tattoo artist worthy of marking your body for so many years.
- He wouldn't give me his contact. I had to tell him I'd do something for him in return.
- Imagine if he asked you to sleep with him? She winks at me.
- Not even in dreams! I hasten to rectify.
- I don't think he meant it in your sense of beauty. He could decide on something wacky! She mimed the sign of an explosion above her head.
- My guess is he'll ask me out for a drink. If that's it, I can accept it. I said.
- But... What happened to my associable friend?
- I'll take what I want from him and ciao. I concluded, pretending to throw something in the air.
- You always say that at the beginning. You'd better not hide anything from me if you see him again! she threatens me with her little finger.
Cassie leaves for the shower and I take the opportunity to call my mother back. She's been trying to reach me for a while now. I don't want her to start panicking, it's not good for her if I make her worse. I press her contact and bring the phone up to my ear as I head out onto the terrace.
- Hello?
- Mom, are you all right? I stammered in a low voice.
Being on the phone with her always brings back bad memories.
- Sweetheart! What do you use your phone for? she fires into the receiver.
- I know, I know.
- It's not the beginning of the month, but I felt the need to give you a little pull. Has anything happened in the last two days?
- No, I haven't. Nothing really. I lied calmly.
- Strange... I've got the Judgment backwards. You've got a lot of work to do on yourself if you want to move into the future. Let go and don't live in the past. You tend to go round in circles without finding a way out or solutions to your problems. Don't stay locked into a life of routine and beliefs that you can't get out of and can no longer understand, because past elements are chasing you and your mistakes are preventing you from seeing beyond the end of your nose. Everything has become mechanized, Xiona. What if you took the time to ask yourself what's essential?
She recites her monologue in one go, and I can hear her take a deep breath before continuing.
- Then, with the Chariot card upside down, I see a quick, unexpected encounter, but you have to let your guard down, be more flexible and less aggressive. If you do meet someone, I think it will be during the night and that person must have tattoos, as the man drawn on the card shows me. An imposing, courageous man. This indicates that sometimes you have to let things go and that you don't always have to control everything. One of the best pieces of advice would be to remain open to new experiences and, above all, to let go of your inner spontaneity. This will open the door to the possibility of re-aligning yourself spiritually. Careful, if you take the car, I see a mechanical problem, something could break down.
She's really starting to disturb me. Is she spying on me? These tricks are just coincidences, she's just trying to put ideas into my head. You can associate anything and everything with what she's saying.
- Here's a summary of what's going to happen to you soon if you follow the advice in the cards: the Wheel of Fortune is right side up, everything changes, it's the law of impermanence! little children? You're about to enter a phase of renewal, so get yourself all dolled up and get out of the house for a while. I assure you, you won't regret it. The changes will be positive, but if you don't let go, your old demon will take over again. In the end, everything happens at the right time, in the right place. Fate brings you something or someone, perhaps a woman or a man, a simple friendship or a sentimental crush? My intuition tells me it's a man. Who knows, maybe I could have grandchildren?
- Er...? I stammer as I undo one of my braids and relax my now wavy hair. I stop, an unexpected encounter at night, an elevator breakdown, a tattooed man, getting beautiful. It can't be true, tell me it isn't.
- You're entitled not to believe in the magic of cards, but I feel that something is moving for you right now. Have a little faith.
She hangs up without letting me answer. I'm used to it, we never get into big dialogues, except for the prints she makes for me. Well, I'm more the one who listens to her, she tends to spout a lot of inertia when she gets down to it. Still, I'm glad I got her on the phone. Her voice sounded a little more energetic than normal.
I finish undoing my braids and stand on the terrace for a while, letting the sun's rays warm me up. Cassie soon emerges from her shower. She joins me outside, just a towel tied around her little body. I tell her what my mother told me with her cards. Cass gloats and talks me into seeing Ian again.
- By the way, what kind of hairstyle is that? It really suits you! Is there a reason behind this change?
I grab a wavy lock of hair and twist my finger around it.
- No reason.
- What are your plans for today? she asks.
- Nothing, sofa.
- Oh, no, you don't! I have to buy new dresses for a date on Friday night. I was thinking you could come shopping with me and change your wardrobe a bit.
- I don't need to buy new clothes, Cass.
- But I do! Come on, take a walk, lunch's on me.
- Hmmm... Chinese dumplings?
- Sold! She's already looking forward to the day between us, I'm not.
We go back inside, Cassie puts on her clothes from the night before and moans, she hadn't planned to sleep at my place, so she didn't have anything clean to wear. I offer her several of my outfits but nothing makes her dream, after all, there's a difference between her pink sequined clothes and mine.
- See, you need a good makeover. She laughs, looking at the mess she's just made in the bedroom, the few clothes I own now littering the floor.
What am I getting myself into? Please save me.
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