澄澈的白光透進窗簾,王芝蘭伸手放在頭髮上,緩緩張開眼,只見王父和王母坐到身側,王父拍了拍坐得太久而酸軟的腰骨,看見的女兒甦醒急不及待走出門外叫喊護士,王母叫停:「按聆叫醫生就可以了!快看她現在怎樣」。54Please respect copyright.PENANAtryE2cd74o
54Please respect copyright.PENANAhSfifGQjVK
王芝蘭摸著肚子,傳來饑腸轆轆的咕咕聲,飢餓得全身乏力,王母見狀便走到座椅的放置的袋中翻找,隨後遞上一盒飯,王芝蘭什麼都沒說,看見食物就逼不及待進食。54Please respect copyright.PENANA0aWJ5Vq2h2
54Please respect copyright.PENANAGgDtZ79S5O
王父回到病房坐到椅子上,拿起水擰開瓶蓋喝水恢復神智,王母埋頭他耳邊輕語商量一些事,只待王芝蘭完食後他們才開口說話。54Please respect copyright.PENANA0ymNpAU0pN
54Please respect copyright.PENANA3UYWg0UZGz
王父:「你在路邊淋雨昏迷倒地,報紙檔老闆聽到聲音發現你,幫你call白車。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAgRy7eu4QPq
54Please respect copyright.PENANAY6TwyL5w21
王芝蘭神智還是有些許迷糊,只記得看到雜誌後精神受到巨大衝擊,身體承受不住就眼前一眼睡去,未回應什麼,王母也開聲說道:「你不舒服就休息幾日別上學,我們不逼你。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA89e4oQ4mNJ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAiVBLPe1vxf
王芝蘭眨了眨眼,低頭看向床榻:「我現在什麼地方都不應該去。」 54Please respect copyright.PENANAUxVSyNBqcY
54Please respect copyright.PENANAQPRXFqiCCf
話畢,醫生轉即走進病房,對幾人打招呼,幫王芝蘭做些簡單檢查,再說明當時她被送進醫院的情況,昏迷指數13屬於輕微腦震盪,需要留院觀察三天。54Please respect copyright.PENANAbrXQuSmMBa
54Please respect copyright.PENANAQLcIioUAtG
王父招待醫生離開病房,王母的右手放到王芝蘭額頭量體溫,微涼的溫度傳到手指,說道:「沒發燒。」54Please respect copyright.PENANADnrbTyCuO6
54Please respect copyright.PENANAXojbkI0rUd
王父回來後說道:「那日沒陪你上庭,只是不想你有更大的壓力。」54Please respect copyright.PENANArz9rhJnY2w
54Please respect copyright.PENANAozkcMGFJmD
王芝蘭眼神只有平靜:「你們陪不陪我,所有人都覺得錯的是我。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAYsCsqDZFKK
54Please respect copyright.PENANAXeUuypsQt9
王母:「那就由他們說去吧!最重要的是法官怎麼判。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAdEcz30Yvva
54Please respect copyright.PENANAfJpvpcvJfS
王父看了眼手錶,轉即問道:「你什麼時候覆診,這次我們陪你去。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA3kCSD9gbDH
54Please respect copyright.PENANAt5gvrmCLrH
王芝蘭對於突如其來的關心,雖然感到不可思議,心裡還有些彆扭地反覆拉扯著,可目前的情形別無他法拒絕,只能答應他們。54Please respect copyright.PENANAbypiMWtXR3
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「下星期三」54Please respect copyright.PENANA1xaKJqKdvO
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「還有,媒體報導干擾案件進行,對我造成輿論壓力,能不能控告。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA3iI3B03HOd
54Please respect copyright.PENANAq6y2aoAOOl
王芝蘭心中掙扎一番,終於鼓起勇氣說出最著緊的事情,願意和父母坦誠說出這個想法,王父和王母亦願意正視這件事,一家人商量對策,力求最合理的解決方法。54Please respect copyright.PENANAK1mWR4Pgp9
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——54Please respect copyright.PENANAbIDb5JSaUt
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常康醫院精神科54Please respect copyright.PENANAL6LXjzCEES
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王芝蘭在父母陪同下走進精神科門診,等待期間,王母感嘆兩年前女兒確診躁鬱症的時候,不斷覆診和吃精神科藥物,現在又來到這熟悉的地方,王父則走動觀看牆上關於精神健康的海報和宣傳冊。54Please respect copyright.PENANAzIVWWZ7yXu
54Please respect copyright.PENANA6zzwd9rKbh
躁鬱症,又稱雙相情感障礙,躁狂和抑鬱同時出現的心理障礙,躁期發作的表現為情緒高漲、精力旺盛,鬱期發作的表現為情緒低落、失去動力,病患會經歷嚴重情緒波動,維持至少數週或數月。分為四類型,分別是雙相情感障礙一型、雙相情感障礙二型、急速循環、循環性情緒病。每一百個人之中,有一個人會患上此病,發病年齡多數於青年時期或之後。54Please respect copyright.PENANAAVv6Dn2yJZ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAlDaAZy88Vp
處方藥物主要為鋰劑,作為情緒穩定劑,需要服用三個月或以上才能發揮作用,患者亦有機會服用多種藥物進行治療。54Please respect copyright.PENANAuHQgRI4HmE
54Please respect copyright.PENANAeJ0957ZdCK
家人及朋友可以做的事,就是嘗試耐心理解患者。54Please respect copyright.PENANAF9rO9wdgyo
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「王芝蘭」54Please respect copyright.PENANAvBUhOz2gQp
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聽聞護士叫號後,王芝蘭離開走廊椅子走進房間,王父回到椅子坐下等待。54Please respect copyright.PENANAIqUfr1dm4V
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經過一個月再來覆診,醫生也許知道這陣子她所經歷的事,難道還要一遍又一遍覆述嗎?54Please respect copyright.PENANAoQUwuLeWS8
54Please respect copyright.PENANA2wsk3JO8ZK
心中難免有著忐忑不安,敲門進去房間後,只見黎醫生衣裝整齊,雙手搭在桌上,左邊是一疊文件。54Please respect copyright.PENANAwSF7tZaWrI
54Please respect copyright.PENANAPgfbHgaW0Y
見到王芝蘭的身影,黎醫生再次拿出病歷表:「很久不見,你最近的情緒怎樣?」54Please respect copyright.PENANA1gfPVeMNe1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAChO9wUqEB6
從預備DSE期間患上躁鬱症,直至今年再次確診,一直是黎醫生負責王芝蘭的個案,每一次覆診都會循例問及近況、服用藥物後的狀況、情緒有沒有得到改善。54Please respect copyright.PENANAv6sYMBstrd
54Please respect copyright.PENANAvjBeI3JQMQ
這次問及情緒狀況時,王芝蘭本想故作冷靜,可是每當談及已發生的事,一遍遍回想並親自說出這些難堪,心中仍不免掀起波濤洶湧的委屈,背對醫生掩面而泣,不斷深呼吸冷靜下來,再說出埋藏卻不能表達的憤怒。54Please respect copyright.PENANADdpSp5b0rr
54Please respect copyright.PENANActbPhkce9H
黎醫生予以理解,沒有像外界一般判斷王芝蘭,亦沒有甩任何臉色,只說及釐清問題的根源就可以解決問題。54Please respect copyright.PENANAhQV0gT52qO
54Please respect copyright.PENANAtQLCSsJLce
對於王芝蘭目前狀況,需要先繼續吃藥,若沒法根治要再考慮心理治療。54Please respect copyright.PENANAdSfmijBnxD
54Please respect copyright.PENANAtJj9BI3dpr
這些年重複在痛苦中沉淪和掙扎,生活安穩時看似能將一切視為雲淡風輕,實則上隱形的傷口卻不時再次被撕裂滲血,成長大概就是不斷將自己狠狠撕裂再重新拼湊的過程,唯有嘗過死的苦,方能珍惜生的甜。54Please respect copyright.PENANAkWsfj5Vg8b
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJrJy2MkSrH
父母並不怎麼關心和理解自己的時候,或許希望得到來自外界的寬慰,其實醫生也只是把治病視為職責,並不十分真正了解患者的人生遭遇,予以醫治靈魂的關心。王芝蘭終於明白到,最重要的不是被他人所理解,而是誠實面對自己的心,願意表達心底最深處最壓抑的感受。54Please respect copyright.PENANA3AbvQDA9t2
54Please respect copyright.PENANAg2gcALQnEs
離開醫院時,有種莫名的衝動在心裡浮現,很想重新整理生命裡發生過的一切,不論是快樂的或是痛苦的,這些事情塑造了現在的我,只有坦誠面對才能消除對自我和世界的怨恨,重塑全新的自我。54Please respect copyright.PENANAoPOS3IZpBm
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——54Please respect copyright.PENANAfsRcPGT7yX
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到家後,王父和王母各自忙碌,一個在房間裡整理文件,一個處理食材預備煮晚餐。他們難得為了自己而平靜下來,這樣挺好的,起碼不再為雞毛蒜皮的事爭吵個喋喋不休。54Please respect copyright.PENANAfAC9MMEZKn
54Please respect copyright.PENANAS900KaC89J
看著母親疲憊的模樣,王芝蘭腦海裡忽然浮現了目睹她和父親爭吵的場景,每次都為了自己的前途爭論。對了,她本來擁有碩士學位的高學歷,結婚生孩子後只可以屈就小小蝸居做家庭主婦,所以拿出整付副心血將自己培養成才。54Please respect copyright.PENANA8UuT15fA1y
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是的,父母為了養育孩子成人,讓他們有傑出的成就和前途付出不少心血,甚至對子女的期望就是讓他們達成自身沒有完成的夢想,王芝蘭接受了這個現實,又似是看透這些世間的無奈再也無力責備。54Please respect copyright.PENANAOnJYTDog7v
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJQ3pi5wC8g
不久後王母烹煮好晚餐,三人盛飯後各自專心進食,看著電視機播放的新聞透視,平日的王芝蘭總是率先飽餐後放下飯碗回房間休息,這次竟然放慢了進食速度。54Please respect copyright.PENANAMzlBlRT1Ng
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完食後,王芝蘭說道:「爸、媽,辛苦你們抽空時間陪我覆診。」54Please respect copyright.PENANANke7iSvpwq
54Please respect copyright.PENANAGooi4bu9DE
王父和王母面面相覷,對於女兒難得和他們這樣說而驚訝,王父問道:「不辛苦,醫生說什麼了」54Please respect copyright.PENANACCvPLRDeGf
54Please respect copyright.PENANAbfNyWPkjyJ
「只是聽我的狀況後,叫我繼續定時服藥。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAEYNgAu2jUP
54Please respect copyright.PENANA1Gpcqpj0AG
王母:「這醫生會不會不夠專業,你想轉醫生嗎?」54Please respect copyright.PENANANGevXNgZxz
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkFVny3v8Aa
「不用了,有時候靠人不如靠自己。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAE2KcKFxmIa
54Please respect copyright.PENANAWa4VGu6PXX
王芝蘭也沒料到一時情急竟把心底話說出口,再補充說:「在我患病的時間,看著你們一直照顧我,很感謝你們,我會努力面對接下來的事,過好將來的生活,希望你們可以安心。」54Please respect copyright.PENANACzjX2ZaRqv
54Please respect copyright.PENANA6P52S0F79Z
王母見狀也就點了點頭:「你開心就好。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAWpiDLN2BQn
54Please respect copyright.PENANAW9srZji8k8
王父拍了拍王芝蘭的肩膀,收拾桌子後洗碗去。54Please respect copyright.PENANAxFSp2GHT5t
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王芝蘭回到房間,真是難得地可以和父母和平溝通,不禁鬆了一口氣。54Please respect copyright.PENANArnzSNX6fDr
54Please respect copyright.PENANADpJ8jXoMjx
坐在電腦桌前,拿出螢幕有些許裂痕的手機,想著看來是時候要換新的螢幕貼,按號後撥通電話:「鄧律師,我想和你商量一件事。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAtrcVT5fdbb
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54Please respect copyright.PENANAPfbQnGpE3Q