I follow the Queen through the hallways, twisting and turning. She stops at every door, every walkway, to tell me what they are. Her favourite room. The library. The sun bathing room. The visitors' dining room. Her bedroom. She tells me many more, but they leave me just as they come. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatBkBDugoa
We continue walking, side by side in silence. I look miserably underdressed compared to the Queen, with her flowing, silver gown that sparkles as the light hits it. She doesn't sport a crown or tiara, just her hair that wraps itself around her head. Her black locks are decorated with pearls. Disgusting. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kB9HBJPeH
"Tell me," the Queen suddenly says, bringing me back to reality, "what is your name?"917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6sFFsfcQ5
I swallow. She doesn't know my name, yet she shows me her palace. She didn't know any of our names, yet she killed them without a single thought. I worry at my lip. I should tell her. It's not that hard, right? It's just my name. It's nothing. Until now. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdC4lpxvg7f
"Cecelia," I say, barely audible. It's like a part of me has been wrenched out of my soul and given up for everyone to see. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E5RNuHFUu
She hmms. "Such a lovely name for someone like you." Rage blurs my vision. Someone like me? Is she saying I'm weak? Needy? I'm strong. I kept my family alive for years. I slaved away for Mama. I bite my cheek, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. To her, I am nothing. I am just a worker, someone who she needs but doesn't want.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINsFpMFrlL
"Mine's Absinthe, but I'm sure you already knew that," the Queen says. She smiles at me, flashing me those pearly white teeth. I nod.
We walk for about a hundred metres, Absinthe pointing out more rooms. My head swirls with how many she has. Four libraries that I know about, two she doesn't use as her tutor used them when she was a princess. Full of books meant for study. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXwWwOameb
She has eight tea rooms, the one near her throne room her favourite as it casts the most light. The others are used when she wishes to do nothing or to decide laws and count taxes. She tells me of her many bedrooms, but how she only sleeps in one. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfke2ynNU5
"When I wed, I will have to change bedrooms for the nights when we decide to have heirs," she says. A guard coughs behind me. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyVXGhS16
I turn to her. She has many bedrooms, but sleeps in one and has the others for when she's required to have sex with the man she marries? Heat boils through me. I want to watch her die in a thousand ways and even then it will not be enough. "Why won't you sleep with your husband?"
Her eyes slide to me. "Because love cannot be forced and I will not love him."
"You could grow to love him. There have been many arranged marriages-"
"It will not be arranged, nor will I grow to love him. I may grow to care for him and maybe respect him, but I won't love him." She continues walking and I realise we've stopped. I follow her, flanking her side. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04RYir1iph
We stop at another door for her to tell me it's her painting room. I can't imagine Absinthe with her arms covered in paints, the metallic smell of it reeking from her as she makes pictures on precious, white paper. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMT7Q4tr76
"You paint?" I ask. What a stupid, stupid question, I think. Of course she paints. She just told me. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1SzB74OY8
Her face twists into a smirk. "Yes. Would you like to see?"
No. I don't want to see what she enjoys. I don't want to know what she likes doing in her spare time. I don't want to become closer with her or have to pretend to have a friendship. It would kill me, slowly suffocating me until I can't breathe and she will be my murderer.
"Yes," I say. The word sticks in my throat. I force a smile and let it hurt my cheeks as she opens the door. I will never forgive myself for what I see. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAa7NLj5Cb
Rows and rows of paintings, drawings and sketches line the walls and desks, the reek of paint filling my nose. It's not the smell that gets to me. It's what they've created. Creatures in pools of blood, their mouth gaping open as if they're screaming, the whites of their eyes showing as they try to reach out and grasp for a scrap of land. One painting has hands clawering the creature down, it's claws digging into its sides. The sketches are horrifying, though. Bursting eyes, half man, half spiders, not fully drawn, but swirls of pencils that make up these things. They stare at me, as if calling to me to help them. Save them from the constant torment. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWVQ5kMvkT
"What do you think?" she asks. I hear the smile on her. She reminds me of a child showing their parent a drawing they did of their family dancing in the sunshine. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gnWP2RUQ5
"They're...amazing," I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I try to find the right word. But I mean it. They scare me, but they're amazing. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CDhT12ZJm
"I'm glad," she says, barely audible, like it wasn't meant for my ears. "Come, we should leave."917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0FoY3RoLt
I nod and follow her out.
We walk down the hallways again, in silence this time. The pictures still haunt my vision. Another thing to haunt me from today. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA1wocvyN2
"Oh, lovely," I hear the Queen say, hearing the smile form on her lips. I raise my head. A woman stands before us, her body covered in a black cloak. It's like midnight. Dark, unforgiving. I can't see the woman's face, her hood covering it, only the outline of her body. If I were a male, I would say she were mouth watering. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRm7M6RL9o
Absinthe is the one who walks up to the woman, her arms outstretched. They whisper to each other, their voices hushed. I strain to listen, but I can't catch a word they're saying. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHPwMySmna
Their voices startle me when they call my name. I walk over to them, the Queen and this woman standing next to each other, their arms wrapped around the other's waist.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fa5Zb2apG
"This is my messenger, Cecelia," she says. Absinthe and the woman both flash me a smile. I return theirs with a scowl. The Queen laughs, the sound erupting from her. How she can be laughing and smiling after what happened today, I don't know. "Come, have tea with us." She motions to the strange woman. She follows, flanked by me.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWJElEpdc9
I start to look around as we walk now that the Queen talks to her messenger in hushed voices. I notice paintings lining the walls of landscapes, fruit and people. Lords, ladies, kings, queens, princes and princesses. Completely different of the ones Absinthe prefers. I shudder at the thought of them. All of the paintings of people here are stern, all rigid. I see no one in a painting smile. They stare at us as if they hate us. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQMM8VFioG
Guards. Guards I didn't notice before walk around, their masks covering their faces. Guns, swords, pistols, knives and I'm sure hidden daggers decorate them, clinking as they move. The light bounces off the gold. I wonder if it's real gold, like in the throne room.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPycvTqyJp
I want to stab every person who lives in this palace. I want to watch them die like they watched us die. They let people I loved starve until their bodies couldn't take it anymore. They let families break apart because a daughter was selling her body to help her family. They let young girls, younger than me, be married off to someone who could afford some land and a house. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxblP5B1YE
We arrive back at the tea room. It's a small room compared to others in this palace. It could fit my home easily into it. Again, those red flags line the walls, imprinted with the gold. Guards stand at each corner, each holding a spear in their hands. A window overlooks the gardens, the sun beaming through it, casting a beautiful array of colours over the tiny table. I find it strange Absinthe prefers this tea room the most. I'd imagine her to like the dark, gloomy ones from before. She's a strange, strange woman.
I notice the wine's gone.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP9t6usofi
With a snap of Absinthe's fingers, a servant that I didn't see comes racing out and places a teapot and cups onto the table. White with pink florals. Again, this confuses me. She paints horrid creatures but still enjoys flowers. I don't think I will ever understand her.
I want to touch the china. I've only ever seen things like these through a window at a shop. Tina begged me to look at it and wouldn't stop pouting until I said yes. I couldn't say no, though. The little happiness that we have is barely nothing. Though I wasn't able to sell my pelt to someone who would pay a good enough price for it, I was happy Tina was smiling. Little things like rainbows, floral china and tiny paintings of blooming trees seem to make her happy. It brings joy to her dismal life. And that brings joy to me. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjQbTpN5fw
The cookies arrive. Beautifully decorated with different arrays of icing, from blues to pinks to oranges. The Queen let's herself eat one before motioning for us to try one. The woman picks at hers. I break mine apart, watching the crumbs fall onto the glass table. A cup of tea sits before me. I pick it up, the brown liquid wobbling as my hands shakes. I take in a breath and let the cool air calm me down as it flows through my lungs and back out again. I do it over and over again until the shaking lessens.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEAu0t9SC1
I sip the tea, letting the warmth of it flow through my body. I like it. I imagine Harold sitting next to me, a smile on his face as he would watch me eat so delicately. "You're not a lady" is what he would say. I would punch his arm and then return his smile. We are like children, him and I. Suddenly my chest tightens, a sharp pain digging into my heart. I miss my family and Harold. I miss Arthur. My hand tightens around the cup. I imagine tiny little cracks to splinter up and shatter it. Like my heart is now, splintering with tiny cracks, the Queen the destroyer. It's just a matter of time before my heart shatters. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fVLtsNU2A
We sit in silence, the only noise our sipping. The Queen glances at the woman, a smirk twisted onto her face. They seem to share an internal joke, something I cannot be a part of. Instead I take another cookie and let it crumble before me. They don't seem to notice, anyway. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9nUcRDFrx
"This is my new bodyguard," Absinthe says, drawing me from my daydream. She motions towards me, her elegant hands sparkling in the light.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrW8bhD3Ai
"Lovely," the woman says. Her voice is like the wind rustling through flowers. It's beautiful.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSOJLHmjlq
"She was Chosen just today." Absinthe smiles, her red lips like rubies. Along with her jewels, they sparkle.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1P3ny5a9m
The woman lays her hands flatly onto the table, her fingers reaching out before they bite down onto the glass. "How...wonderful." She seems to toss up the word in her mouth like she's trying to decide on what to say. I don't miss Absinthe's lips form into a straight line and her eyebrows knit together. Her eyes pierce through the woman, the tiny ray of light now snuffed out. Tension fills the room. Even the guards seem to straighten up and their hands tighten around their spears. I swallow. 917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHjXYSPOUP
The Queen sighs, letting the air whistle through her teeth. She turns to me, her once tied hair now falling apart, strands of it whisping out of her tied bun, the tiny pearls becoming loose. "Cecelia, my messenger has brought me a letter. As I am overly tired from today, I want you to read it for me."917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknWYA51ocG
I swallow. My voice is barely above a whisper. "I can't read, Your Majesty." I avoid her piercing gaze as her lips form a line.917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFDdkniLZI
"Very well," she says. She lets out an exhausted breath and rubs her temples. "You will see my tutor from as a child and she will teach you to read." Her face twists into a smile. "That's if she is still alive."917Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaLuLk32CJ
