Noah rapidly raised and dropped his laptop, standing up and turning away from it. After remembering the price of the thing, he checked it for damages. Upon seeing no problems, he sighed and sat back down.
He put his headphones back on and played the game again. All the cartoonish gun sounds couldn’t drown out the voice in the back of his mind.
What’s with you lately?
He chose to ignore the voice but it only got louder, and as it got louder it pushed him to play harder, firing at everyone. Yes, even his teammates. He wasted bullets on players that couldn’t be harmed by him.
After his team lost the game, he slammed the headphones against the desk. Once again, he sheepishly checked for any damages and found none.
He leaned against the back on his chair and looked up at the ceiling.
The voice had disappeared but was replaced with an image of Chad smirking on the ceiling. He scowled at the image in his mind, only to swallow air when it was replaced with Chad’s fish-out-of-water face.
‘You’re… hot…’
Noah felt a twinge in his heart and throbbing down below. His shoulders became heavy as he unzipped his pants. As per usual, he pictured smoke rising from his hand and tried to ignore it.
After washing his hands, he picked up his phone, scrolled through the contacts and almost deleted Chad’s. His thumb hovered over the screen until he decided to keep it. The voice came back.
You should get a picture of him for the contact.
The thought put even more weight onto his shoulders. As if he was going to do that. It wasn’t like he missed him all that much.
He lied down on his bed, staring at the screen and trying to avoid the contacts app, though naturally his eyes kept going back to that little address book.
He groaned. ‘Fine,’ he hissed to himself. He sent Chad a message.
How are you? Been a while.
Chad replied surprisingly quickly, causing Noah to fumble with his phone after almost dropping it in shock.
Yeah, it has. I’ve been good. I need to go to bed soon so I’ll talk to you at school.
Chad kept his promise and chatted to him during class. At first, the conversation was slow and awkward, both boys trying to tiptoe around the issue of Chad calling Noah hot.
The conversation began to centre around sports, with Chad trying to convince Noah to watch one football game, something Noah had not done since he was eight. He reluctantly agreed on the condition that he watch Chad play first.
At football practice that afternoon, Noah leaned forward with his hands maintaining a strong grip on the metal bar in front of the bleachers. His eyes never left Chad as the player threw the ball with one of his muscular arms.
When practice ended, Noah congratulated Chad on doing well before sneaking out of the bleachers and shuffling to his car. On his way home, he saw a little NFL shop about to close for the day.
He rushed in and bought a generic poster with the NFL logo and a picture of a football. At home he blu-tacked the poster on the wall behind his bed’s headboard.
He went onto his laptop and looked for ways to torrent NFL games. Instead of studying he ended up watching one and a half games until he fell asleep. His eyes subconsciously sought out the most handsome players and he even found a guy who looked like Chad.
During the moments the players stopped, fantasies danced around his mind about what Chad would do with him in that uniform of his. At first, these fantasies were purely carnal, though they gradually changed into something a little different.
For instance, he imagined Chad running to the bleachers to kiss him after scoring a touchdown. He thought of the boy training him in football, complimenting his skills. He even made up a scenario in which he tended to Chad’s injuries.
After that last daydream, one question popped into his head.
The fuck is wrong with you?
He woke up late in the morning but couldn’t bring himself out of bed. He just lied there thinking about what those fantasies meant, what any fantasy he’d ever had about a guy meant. It wasn’t like he was gay. As much as women frustrated him to the point of stirring hatred within him, he still wanted them. No, he needed them.
His heart leapt in shock and something that totally wasn’t joy when he heard his phone buzz. It was a message from Chad.
Where are you?
Noah spent half a minute coming up with an excuse.
Sick.
Chad replied with some sad emojis like the normie he was.
I’ll meet you after school to check up on you.
Noah groaned.
You want to catch something?
Chad’s response sent a wave of warmth throughout Noah’s body.
I don’t, but I’ll feel worse if I don’t see for myself that you’re okay.
Noah smiled as he got up and made himself a meal he had learnt how to make from an anime. After finishing off his lunch, he went back onto his laptop and debating (or, to be more accurate, arguing) with someone on an anime forum.
Chad did what he said he was going to do, and quicker than expected. When Noah opened the door for him, Chad asked him how he was.
Noah coughed. ‘Good. I feel better now. You wait in my room and I’ll make us some coffee. You okay with having it black?’
‘Yeah, but aren’t you still sick? I should make it.’
‘It’s fine, really.’ Noah nudged him into his room.
Chad spun around on the chair by the desk. As he stopped the chair, his hand slipped on the mouse, moving it enough to wake the laptop from its screensaver mode. A tab showed a forum debate entitled ‘Are Traps Gay?’
When Noah entered the room with two cups of coffee, Chad asked him, ‘What are traps? I’m guessing you’re not talking about stuff used for hunting, unless hunting’s a gay activity now.’ This caused Noah to spill some of the coffee as he slammed the mugs on the desk.
‘N-none of your business.’ Chad took out his phone. ‘Wait!’ Noah shouted as he closed the door behind him. He whispered, ‘Okay, so, uh, in anime there are these guys called ‘traps’ who look like girls.’
Chad joined him in speaking with a hushed voice. ‘Sounds like an insult.’
‘H-how?’
‘Well, a trap means you’re, I don’t know, tricking someone, right? Are these anime dudes who look like chicks tricking people or something? Or is the word a coincidence or something like that?’
‘Well, uh, no, I mean, I think the word comes from that, but, uh…’ Noah looked around the room for a way to change the subject but found nothing. The whispering ended. ‘It-It’s a compliment nowadays!’
‘Really? Doesn’t sound like one,’ Chad said as he shrugged his shoulders.
‘The question isn't really about those guys anyway, so it doesn’t matter if they’re ‘tricking’ you or not. It’s more about if you’re gay for liking them. They’re, uh, popular with dudes.’
‘Sounds pretty gay to me.’
‘It’s not! Absolutely not! You think some faggot would be into anime characters who look like girls? No, it’s the realm of the straight men. Only straight men can appreciate these beauties.’
Chad stood up and leaned closer to Noah. ‘So you’re into dudes?’
‘No, it doesn’t count, it doesn’t-’
‘Would you fuck a real-life guy in a dress?’
‘Uh… n-no…’
Chad smirked as some mysterious, much more confident force possessed him and made words he never expected to say spew from his mouth. Perhaps it was Noah’s relatable nervousness that made him feel oddly safe. He put his hand between Noah’s shoulder and his neck, lightly rubbing the area.
‘Would you fuck me if I looked like a girl?’
Noah didn’t respond, at least verbally. He just stared at Chad, who leaned closer and drank in the delicious sound of his heartbeat.
The stare lasted a good twenty or so seconds before their bodies joined together in a heated kiss. As Noah panted with desire, the zest of ginger and the scent of honey from his lunch lit up Chad’s mind, as did his partner’s heartbeat, which continued to get louder and faster. Chad’s heart and breaths quickly matched him as he held his cheeks, his thumbs stroking the hair in front of his ears. He continued kissing him even as he started becoming more aware of what he was doing, as any fear he could possibly feel was replaced with the endorphins he usually got playing football.
Part of him had expected an overly slobbery kiss, so he grinned when he noticed that this wasn’t the one he was having. Noah’s lips were a little rough but Chad enjoyed every inch of them. Noah’s skin was hot and, in contrast with his lips, soft.
He pushed Chad onto the chair and stuck his tongue in his mouth, reaching for the taller man’s coat to take it off. Chad shivered at this sudden display of dominance and helped him fling off the coat. Noah only let go of him to turn on the CD player and soon the sounds of their kiss were hidden under the swelling of a boisterous symphony. They moved to the bed, grasping at each other’s clothes to remove them as quickly as possible.324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIBUunWt4K
The air was filled with heavy breaths that gradually slowed down. The duo felt almost sick from the smell of the room. The CD player finished its current track before Noah turned it off. He turned until his back was facing Chad, who placed his hand on the shorter man’s hip.
‘How was it?’ he murmured. Noah shrugged, refusing to look at him and yet again focusing on his own hands as if smoke was emanating from them. ‘That bad, huh? Sorry, I’m new to this. That was my first time.’
Noah rolled back with the speed of a tumble dryer. ‘The fuck are you talking about? There’s no way you were a virgin. What about all those girls that throw themselves at you?’
‘What girls?’
Noah stared at Chad like the man was high. Chad stroked his hip with his thumb as he said, ‘And besides, even if I did sleep with girls, it’s not like that would prepare me to sleep with a guy. I doubt many girls would be interested in doing what you…’ He laughed nervously.
Noah covered his eyes with his bangs. ‘Oh. Yeah. Speaking of which, are you… sore?’
Chad shifted his butt on the bed. ‘A little. Maybe we should have done more prep.’ He reached underneath the sheets and pulled out a bottle. ‘This is pretty good stuff, though. And the condoms… why’d you have these on you?’
Noah gulped, staring at the ceiling, then the door, anything to prevent him from having to look at Chad.
‘In… in case I needed to use them… with a girl. I bought them when you made me think for a second that maybe I could actually get a girl.’
Chad sighed. ‘Yeah, so, uh, what exactly are we? I mean, are we… what’s it called… bisexual?’
Noah pulled the sheets up despite showing no shame a few minutes earlier. ‘No way,’ he said with a shake of the head like a dog leaving a bath. ‘This is… fucked. I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have… Let’s just forget about this. It never happened, alright?’
Chad dropped the bottle and looked down at the sheets with a frown. ‘Was I really that bad? Or couldn’t you picture me as a girl? Maybe you are straight after all-’
‘You were fine!’ Noah snapped. ‘And I didn’t imagine you as a girl. You were… okay. It felt good.’ He looked at the evidence of this: the condom in the bin. ‘It’s just that… my first time wasn’t supposed to be ‘okay’.’
‘What’d you expect it to be like? It’s not like either of us are very experienced.’
‘I don’t know. Just better. It almost feels like nothing happened. I mean, for Christ’s sake, I lost my virginity! That’s a big deal, isn’t it? It’s not like I can undo it.’ Noah tightened his grip on his sheets until his knuckles turned white. ‘So why don’t I feel any different?’
With another sigh Chad turned around and got off the bed. Unsure how to reply to that question, he asked Noah where the bathroom was but, before Noah could answer, they heard a knock on the door.
‘Noah, are you decent?’ a feminine voice called out.
‘No!’
‘Well hurry up and get dressed. Family meeting.’
Noah looked from side to side in thought before shoving Chad in the closet and pulling the quilt over the sheets to hide the evidence. He picked up the clothes he wore from before and threw Chad’s clothes into the closet.
‘Family meeting? Since when do we have those?’
‘We do now! Your father and I can’t decide on dinner.’
Noah pulled his jeans up, trying to ignore the sudden stickiness of his underwear. ‘Well, decide for yourself! You don’t need me.’ Chad felt his heart twist but he focused on his task of putting clothes on while cramped in a closet. Noah threw a shirt on and opened the door just a little, not so much as to show what was on his bed.
His mother pinched her nose. ‘What’s that smell?’
‘Nothing! I’m sure it’s nothing.’
After hearing the door slam shut, Chad made his way out of the closet, picked up his bag and coat and snuck out of the room. He tiptoed through the living room. He locked eyes with Noah, who gave him a deer in the headlights look. His parents turned their heads and Chad ducked down behind the couch, holding his breath. His heart sped up as he crawled to the door. He looked at Noah one last time and put his hand on the door.
Noah looked in the opposite direction and yelled, ‘Did you see that? Mittens just jumped for no reason!’ Chad opened the door. ‘I think she saw a mouse!’ Chad closed the door behind him and slowly exhaled.
Once the family meeting ended, Noah took to Incels.me and discovered that the website was gone. He was fuming when he learned that it was taken down. He searched around for a replacement and quickly found one. He joined it under a new username and began to write, changing Chad from a ‘he’ to an unnamed ‘she’.
Rotcel2003- [LifeFuel] My crush likes me back
Well, this is only half life fuel. On the one hand, I just slept with my crush. It was fairly good, and she’s pretty hot, but it wasn’t life-changing. It kind of makes me question why I was so obsessed with losing my virginity. Is this really the life of an ascended incel? I don’t know.
I can’t help but wonder if it was worth doing stuff with her. I mean, what kind of femoid would be into me? She clearly has low standards to date a sub-3 like me. And it’s even weirder when you consider that it started with us talking about anime. She doesn’t even watch anime! Plus, we were talking about traps, not exactly prime normie material.
So yeah, I’m conflicted.
When Noah went back onto the post, he was shocked at the influx of replies calling him a bluepilled cuck and saying he was bragging. Someone even accused him of being a normie trying to pass himself off as an incel.
It was that night when Chad decided to look up this whole incel thing. He came across the same forum Noah visited and saw a post about a discussion of anime ‘traps’ leading to sex.
His fish-out-of-water eyes returned.
ns 15.158.61.54da2
