«He undressed me while I was asleep.» I think it's the third time I say this.
Gabi looks at me wide-eyed, her mouth open. «Are you still virgin? Check!» She tries to unbutton my jeans.
«No way!» I stop her and we end fighting like two cats. Many eyes on the airplane are on us, but this time I don't mind it, I've my business to care about. Gabi and I tried to enter the villa, but there were guards everywhere and they told us we were not authorized to enter the place. We decided to go home, there was no chance to meet Mikael again, he didn't want to see me, the letter was explicit on this. I accepted it when a flash of a man with an iron bar in the chest appeared in my mind. Did that really happen? I don't know, maybe it's better to forget every mystery and remember only the good things about this adventure. As soon as I stop Gabi, I look at the ring on my finger, it's gorgeous and whatever is his meaning it's something about love, enough to make me wear it and remember Mikael as a good man of my past.
«Are you ready to face your shitty family?» Gabi gives me a bored look.
«You mean my overprotective parents and my rude sister? Yea, I can survive.»
«I can come with you.»
«No, thanks. I will go home and let them scream at me, I don't wanna fight. I always thought I should have been more bad, but I discovered that there are people in the world that thinks my sensitiveness is a gift, not a fault that totally ruins my life.»
«Your sensitiveness is a good thing for this world, your life is ruined by people that don't sense nor care about it.»
I hug Gabi. Then the only mystery I wanna resolve comes to my mind.
«Where did you sleep?» I ask, smirking with a provocative gaze.
«Isn't it obvious? I slept with a guy.» She answers, smiling. I keep staring at her, my eyebrows raise. «Ok, maybe three guys!»
I raise my hand and I knock at the door, but my fist goes in the void. Mom looks at me, her make up is so ruined by the tears that she seems a panda.
«My girl.» She cries.
«Mom, I...» She slaps me, brutally interrupting me.
«How could you do this to your mother?» Dad asks, his voice trembling.
«Yea, how could you come back?» Nora says, but we all ignore her.
«Go to your room. Now.» Mom orders, her eyes slowly lose the sadness.
I walk to my room and I hear my dad locking the door. I should be sad, it would be right for what I have done to my lovely parents, and I'm sorry that I don't. I put my new expensive pajama on, it still smells of him, and I lay on my old, little pink bed. The stone at my finger glows in the dark and I think about him as I close my eyes. His british accent, his grey lighting eyes, his athletic body. I feel the cold growing in my heart and I start doubting that the hell is made of fire. I hug my legs, holding my tears, and as soon as I fall asleep a noble man invades my dreams.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpPkmLgYtq
Mikael skates with me on the ice. I love ice skating, but I'm so clumsy that I failed at it as in every sport I tried. Surprisingly, now I'm skating like an expert. We stop in the middle of the rink, his forehead on mine, his warm breath caresses my lips.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7BEj5LWJx
«I knew I couldn't let you go after that kiss. I hope one day you'll forget me. You are mine, Katrina. You've always been.» He articulates every word, "you are mine". It makes me feel good, like I'm in heaven. I smile and...342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlR4ikxepZ6
I open my eyes. He's here, in a corner of my little pink room. I recognize his eyes glowing in the darkness on his shocked face. He should be one of my mysterious hallucinations, Mikael isn't in Flint, let alone in my bedroom. It's better like this, so I can say whatever I want to him, he won't get angry and I won't feel wrong.
«I would like you to come back, but I know you won't. You know I wasn't lying when I told you there's something good in you, why can't you accept it and stop being a monster with me? Just with me. It would make me feel so special.» I mumble, trying to keep my eyes opened. «You want me to be happy again as I was before your party, but the truth is that I've never been happier before I met you. My crazy mind remembers you told me that you love the moment between fight and sex, when you realize there's light in the darkness you live in. I found my light in you and I realized that after you meet the light, you can't bear the darkness anymore. My life sucks, I can't hide it to myself forever 'cause now I know what is real happiness, maybe real love.» A tear wet my cheek. «If magic exists, I hope it will make you come back to me. Please, come back, Mikael. I'm tired of being used and mistreated by everyone, I don't wanna become bad as you said and you know you can prevent this from happening, you just have to come here and protect me from this evil world. I know you can and you want it.»
«Sleep.» He orders in a monotone voice, observing me. He sounds real as every other hallucination I had and I'm happy about this.
I kiss my ring and I smile. Twenty years of hell, one night to find love, an eternity to keep it. At least I'll never be bored and I'll have no time to complain while trying to love a serial killer. Why aren't you scared of him? My subconscious surprises me. I don't know. I'm not when he's not hurting me. I know he's dangerous, but for some reason I can only see what I like of him. I answer to myself. I look into his breathtaking eyes one more time, then I close mines and my mind go back to the ice rink, but this time neither me nor Mikael talks, we just look at each other and keep skating.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuy8ITeF3s
I hear a weird sound. I open my eyes and I see a hand, then I focus on Nora's angry gaze behind it. She snaps her fingers close to my face until I take her hand, groaning.
«What the hell, Nora?» I mumble with a gravy voice.
«Where's your surprise?» She flutters a piece of paper.
«What are you talking about?»
She reads the page with a horrible imitation of my voice. «Nora, you are my sister, I love you.» She fakes a retch and I roll my eyes. «I hope that the surprise will finally let you see me as an adult. I promise that one day I'll make you proud of me, big sis. So, where is the surprise?» She asks, raising her brow, a smirk on her face.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmvW5PFsvk
I sigh. Mikael would be a great surprise since he's sexier than all the handsome boyfriends she had, but he's not here.
«So?» She insists, increasing my usual morning nerves.
«I found a boyfriend.» I spit, standing up. As I stretch, I see her wide-open mouth. I can't help but smile at her shocked expression. «Any problems with that?»
«No.» She immediately says, shaking her head so fast that it seems she's trembling. «Did he follow you in Flint?»
«No, he couldn't.»
Nora's body relaxes and her unnerving smirk comes back. «Good lie, Katrina. Now stop talking bullshits and come with me, I wanna show you my new real boyfriend, he'll have breakfast with us.»
She can't believe me without proof of the existence of Mikael, I should have known this. I go to the dining room and I see a redhead talking with my mother.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLZ9QHoOGG
«Shawn!» When Nora calls him, he turns and I see his half-naked muscular body covered in tattoos.
He looks at me from head to toe. «She's the weirdo, right?»
«Yea, my forever virgin sister, Katrina.» Nora and Shawn laugh at me. The truth hurts, they are right and the sadness shows itself in my eyes... but it disappears in a blink. If Mikael was there, you wouldn't be so unrespectful, I think, trying to keep a fake smile and stay silent to be a better person than them.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBfp2xpQZm
Shawn sits at the table, occupying an entire side of it with his legs opened and his arms on the back of the other chairs. «Where's breakfast?»
I take some seconds to realize he's talking to me. «I think my mom is cooking it.»
«What is she cooking? I'm hungry.»
«I don't know, I...»
«Go to the kitchen and take a look, it's not that hard.» He says like I'm the stupid one.
I open my mouth and then there's Mikael putting an iron bar in a man's chest in front of my mind's eyes. I want to feel scared as I should, but there's something else growing in me, someone else. A part of myself that I never dared to free. Shawn and Nora's expressions suddenly change, they seem worried.
I keep smiling. «I think you can check by yourself what's for breakfast, don't you? Use your legs as long as you can.»
Shawn looks around. «Girl, you're creepy. I don't wanna have breakfast with you, can't you go to a bar or...?»
«Creepy? I'm sorry I don't act like a bitch. Uhm, there's something wrong in my sentence... oh, right, I'm not sorry of being myself nor be respectful also towards assholes.» I say calmly. The shocked faces of the couple motivate me to keep talking, I admit that I'm enjoying this conversation and whatever was awaking inside me now seems something positive to me. «Now, since this is the house of my family, if you don't wanna have breakfast with me you can kick your own ass out of here, there's a bar at every corner of the city. If you wanna stay, be nice and stop complaining.»
My sister stands up. «You can't...»
«Shut up, Nora!» I burst out, scaring everyone, myself too. I glare at Nora that sits down, looking down at the table with an angry face.
«What's happening?» Mom comes out of the kitchen, looking at us all.
«Nothing.» I say with my best smile. «We were just discussing about school. Shawn.» As I call him, he raises like a dog when he hears his name. «Sit straight, please.» I order. He obeys, his face is emotionless.
I walk away, proud of myself. Who are you? I can't recognize my girl anymore! The little me in my mind compliments me, jumping and clapping. I get undressed and I enter the bathroom in my bedroom. The lukewarm water caresses my skin and I close my eyes to relax... but I can't, I feel guilty. I've been bad with Nora and Shawn like I never been with anyone, what happened to me? I would never act like that. My heart starts beating fast and hard as it wants to get out my chest, there's something wrong in me those days. I come out of the shower and as I turn his grey eyes meet mines.342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0LusSGuO2
