I hadn’t lied when I told Ivetta her scars were fading. They were significantly less noticeable from the time the bandages came off almost a year ago. She didn’t seem to realize that. When it was just us, she didn’t care about them. It was only elsewhere, in the company of others, that they became problematic. I was half tempted to arrange a run-in with one of my brothers when we finally left our room for a late lunch that day, just to prove to her that they weren’t as obvious as she thought, but I didn’t want to send her into another panic. So, I made my feelings clear in the privacy of our room, and then we enjoyed the rest of the day in the most isolated areas of the largely empty palace, devoid of most of its denizens who were in town enjoying the festival. She was smiling again, and that was enough.
I thought she was okay.
A few days later, Theresa’s knock at the door woke me up. That was unusual. She brought breakfast a few minutes after nine o’clock every morning, and Ivetta always woke me up at nine o’clock, before Theresa arrived. Ivetta wasn’t cuddled up to me, which told me she wasn’t in bed anymore. Maybe she got caught up in her reading and lost track of time.
But she wasn’t answering the door.
“Ivetta, Theresa’s here,” I mumbled.
“I’m not feeling well,” Ivetta replied, her voice coming from the bed next to me.
My eyes shot open.
“Ivetta?” I sat up, and there she was, curled up on the opposite side of the bed, as far from me as possible without falling off the edge. She’d pulled the blankets up over her head, further isolating herself. I reached over to pull the blanket down and brush her hair from her face. Her forehead didn’t feel hot, and she didn’t look pale. She was focused on the wall opposite her, refusing to look up at me. “What’s wrong?”
She just shook her head, pursing her lips. Tears shimmered at the edge of her eyelids, threatening to spill over at any moment.
“Ivetta, look at me,” I pleaded.
She shook her head again.
I ignored Theresa’s next knock at the door and lay back down, wrapping my arms around Ivetta’s waist and pulling her flush with me as I racked my brain to try to determine why she was so upset. Nothing had happened out of the ordinary since the festival. We hadn’t argued about anything. What was it about this day that had her in such a low mood?
That was it. The day.
I nuzzled into her hair and sighed.
“It’s your mother’s birthday, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“What do you want from me, little dove?”
“I just want to be left alone,” she finally said, her voice choked with tears.
That stung. She always turned to me for comfort. To be rejected, pushed away, hurt. I didn’t know what to say.
Theresa knocked again.
I reluctantly got out of bed and headed for the door, glancing back at Ivetta. She’d pulled the blankets over her head again. I paused at the door, exhaling deeply as I arranged my expression, and opened the door.
“I’ll have breakfast in my office.”
Theresa’s green eyes were wide with confusion, but I shut the door with no further explanation. I had none. Ivetta didn’t want me here. That much was clear, and I had no idea why.
She didn’t move or speak as I silently got ready for the day. I glanced back at her once more before I left, an unmoving lump under the blankets. The thought crossed my mind that maybe she didn’t actually want me to leave, maybe I should stay and hold her regardless, but I’d never seen her like this, and I didn’t know.
So I left.
“Is the queen alright?” Julius asked quietly.
“It’s her mother’s birthday,” I replied, heading for my office without another word.
“What’s going on?” Theresa demanded when I entered my office. I ignored her and headed for my desk, laden with a breakfast for which I had no appetite.
“Chev?” Clavis prompted. He was leaning against a wall, his golden eyes watching me curiously. Nokto was seated quietly in a chair in a corner, his crimson eyes holding the same question.
“It’s her mother’s birthday,” I repeated, using the exact words and the exact flat tone that I used with Julius.
“And you left her alone?” Theresa asked incredulously.
“She wants to be alone,” I replied, pushing the plate aside. “Take this away.”
Theresa sighed with exasperation and snatched up the plate. “I’ll go talk to her.”
“No, you won’t,” I said firmly, fixing her with a hard glare.
Theresa scowled at me. “If she hasn’t left your room by noon, I’m going in there.”
I didn’t respond as she stormed out. Ivetta would still be there at noon. That much was clear.
Clavis sighed. Nokto’s eyes were fixed on the door, his lips pursed in a scowl.
“You know she doesn’t actually want to be alone, right?” Clavis asked.
“We have work to do,” I replied coolly, turning my attention to the paperwork on my desk.
“King Highness-” Nokto started, turning his crimson eyes back to me.
“No,” I snapped.
They fell silent, and the morning dragged by, punctuated only by the rustling of parchment and the scratching of quills. This was something I knew. Government, politics, business - this was easy. Emotions weren’t. Ivetta’s appearance at the palace had drawn me out of my depths, forcing me to feel things I didn’t want to feel, and this was why. Love was not just smiles and romantic passion. Love could hurt. This hurt.
She always turned to me for comfort, starting after Jack assaulted her and I forced her to tell me what had happened. Whenever she had a problem, she came to me.
Why didn’t she want me now?
I may not know what it felt like to love my mother, to mourn her loss, but I knew what Ivetta’s mother meant to her, and I knew how badly that loss had…scarred her.
She was scarred, inside and out.
I thought she was healing.
Was this going to be the rest of her life? Was she going to seem fine, seem over everything, just to be triggered by something seemingly trivial and sent into a wave of anxiety and depression?
Could I handle that?
“Lunchtime,” Clavis announced, standing up and stretching his hands above his head. “And all the work is done. Too bad Yves went back to Obsidian with Gilbert. I just came up with a new trap, and I’d love to try it out on him.”
“Are you going to see Ivetta?” Nokto asked me pointedly.
“No.”
He scowled at me. “Why not?”
“I asked her what she wanted, and she told me she wanted to be left alone,” I replied firmly, heading toward the door. “Lock up when you’re done here.”
His hand landed on the door in front of me. “If you’re not going to see her, I will,” he said vehemently.
I shoved his hand aside and opened the door. “If you need me, I’ll be training with my knights.”
“Chev-”
I left before Clavis was finished. Let Nokto see her. If she didn’t want me, she certainly didn’t want him. My knights were due for a spot check, and an intensive training session would relieve some of my pent-up frustration.
I hated this.
Clavis came to the training courtyard an hour later, by which time I had worked up a sweat and was still no closer to feeling any relief. He strolled casually up to my side, as if the sword in my hand was wooden instead of sharp, reflective metal.
“I’ll take over for you, Chev. Somebody wants to talk to you.” He drew his own sword and jerked his head over his shoulder. I glanced in that direction and saw Theresa at the top of the stairs, her arms crossed over her chest and her green eyes obviously flashing, even from this distance.
“Alright, we’re going to do something different,” Clavis announced cheerfully, raising his voice to be heard over the clashing of swords and the stomping of booted feet echoing around the massive stone room.
I sheathed my sword and headed up the stairs. Clavis’ training techniques could be quite odd, but, like him, they were annoyingly effective.
“Break time! Everybody get some water!” he continued.
I heard a sword slice through the air and water pouring onto the stone pavement, and then he said, “Oops, look what happens when you let your guard down. No water. Huh.”
Expect the unexpected when Clavis was around. Allow nothing to distract.
Theresa was tapping her foot when I reached the top of the stairs.
“What is it?” I asked coolly.
“Why aren’t you with Ivetta?” she asked, her tone just as icy as mine.
“She wanted to be left alone.”
Theresa sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. “For someone so smart, you can be really clueless, King Chevalier.”
“She made herself clear,” I replied through gritted teeth.
“And normally, what she says is what she wants. But sometimes, a woman doesn’t mean what she says because she doesn’t know what she wants. This is one of those times.”
I sighed and turned back to the stairs. “This is pointless.”
“Don’t you dare walk away,” Theresa snapped, grabbing my arm forcefully.
I shook her off and turned back to her with a cold glare.
“She’s with Prince Nokto right now in the gardens. You need to go see her.”
I hadn’t thought it was possible to feel worse. Knowing that Ivetta hadn’t turned Nokto away was a knife in my chest.
“If he’s with her, she doesn’t need me.”
“Yes, she does!” Theresa said in exasperation. “And none of that jealousy. Prince Nokto is your brother, and he’s not doing anything wrong. They connected that night when he was sick, and he’s using that connection to get her to open up about what’s bothering her. He can do that. And I’m her best friend, so I can yell at her and tell her to snap out of it, and I can hug her and cry with her, and I can drag her out of her room so she doesn’t stay all day in bed. But neither of us can give her what she really wants, because she wants you, no matter what she says. You know her better than anybody, and you’re the one she always turns to for comfort, and you’re the one she needs right now. So get cleaned up, and get out to the gardens. They’re by the pond.”
There was clearly no point in arguing. Theresa wasn’t taking no for an answer.
I brushed past her and headed back into the palace. A quick bath and change, and then out to the gardens. My stomach was churning. I wanted her to be right. But if she was wrong, and Ivetta turned me away again…
I didn’t want to think about that.
Ivetta and Nokto were sitting under the tree by the pond. Ivetta was wearing the dress from the festival, to my surprise. But, then again, Theresa was probably as pushy with her as she was with me. Ivetta’s shoes were setting off to the side, and she was leaning back against the tree trunk, looking out at the pond while she talked. A tea tray and a platter of pastries sat on the grass between her and Nokto. He was sitting up, one arm slung casually across his upright knees, nibbling a pastry as he listened. He turned to look at me and stood up.
“It’s time for me to go,” he said.
“What? Why?” Ivetta asked, turning to look up at him, but then her green eyes met mine. It was obvious that she’d been crying recently. The redness and puffiness were going away, but they were still there.
“You don’t need me anymore,” Nokto replied.
She stood up and took his hand as he turned to go. “Thank you, Nokto.”
He smiled and shrugged. “Now we’re even.”
His crimson eyes met mine briefly as we passed each other. There was nothing accusatory in his gaze, just acknowledgement. Neither of us said a word. I looked back at Ivetta, whose eyes were now on me. She wasn’t smiling, but there was something expectant in her gaze. Something that eased the twisting in my stomach. I stopped in front of her, reaching around to the back of her head to stroke her hair.
“You’re feeling better.”
“Not really,” she said, stepping closer to me as if she wanted me to embrace her. I wrapped one arm around her waist, keeping my other hand free to continue stroking her hair. “But Theresa and Nokto wouldn’t let me hide in our room, so here I am.”
“I shouldn’t have left you,” I muttered.
“I shouldn’t have told you to leave,” she replied, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her cheek on my chest.
“What do you want from me, little dove?” I murmured, repeating my question from this morning.
She pulled back and took my hand, drawing me down to the grass with her. I leaned back against the tree trunk and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She nuzzled into my chest and sighed contentedly.
“Can we just sit here for a while?” she asked.
I kissed the top of her head. “Yes.”
She was still hurting. I knew that. And I knew that the anniversary of her Mother’s death would probably hit her just as hard, if not harder, than today. But at least I had a better idea of how to handle her when that day came, and I had people around me who would help me deal with her.
Jin needed to propose to Theresa already.
And Nokto…
I leaned in and rested my head on Ivetta’s, glancing over at the tea and pastries on the tray next to us.
I’d have to thank him later.24Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF27ZxPXgA1
