Outside the library windows, pale green buds were appearing on the seasonal rose bushes and vines, filling in the gaps between the year-round blooms. Water droplets fell from icicles down to the melting snow banks below. All the signs of spring were here.
Inside the window, seated on an extra cushion in the alcove, was Ivetta, staring outside. A few sheets of parchment lay forgotten on a large book that served as her makeshift lap desk. She was due any day now. Her hips were in constant pain, which she was quick to reassure me was normal at this stage. I wondered if the level of pain she felt was truly normal, but that wasn’t a question worth asking. She’d never been pregnant before she was tortured, so she had nothing for comparison. This was her first time being pregnant. Maybe her only time.
And yet, I still felt a measure of relief after talking to her at the start of winter, even though nothing changed. She could still die in labor, and there was still nothing I could do about it. All I could do was enjoy the time I knew I had with her.
“What are you doing, little dove?” I asked, combing my fingers through her glossy black hair as she looked up at me with a bright smile.
“I was just finishing my letter to Belle,” she replied, looking down at the lines of script on the parchment. She had nestled a quill and inkpot in a crack between the seat cushion and the window, with a rag tucked around the inkpot as a precaution. “A lot has happened since the last time I wrote to her, and I’m trying to make sure I’m not missing anything, but I keep getting distracted.”
Distracted. She couldn’t get comfortable, and she kept having to get up and go to the bathroom, more likely. I scanned the page to see what she had so far. Sariel and Sarah featured after her opening greeting. They eloped after Sarah found out she was pregnant, and Sariel was having a harder time smoothing things over with her father than he ever did with any of the nobility.
“Next page.”
Ivetta turned it without question. Jin and Theresa came next. Theresa was pregnant and due to give birth in the fall, at the same time Belle was due. Jin was deliriously happy. He’d never been shy about expressing physical affection toward Theresa in public, but now he was kissing her stomach at random times and talking to it, and she wasn’t even showing yet. Even she was embarrassed.
“Nokto and Lydia,” I said simply.
“Oh, you’re right. How could I forget?” Ivetta muttered, picking up her quill again.
Nokto bought a ring a week after meeting Lydia, but he was waiting to propose until after the baby was born. I had known for two months, ever since I found him walking around the snowy gardens without a coat. Lydia was making him wait until they were married. It was an interesting twist to have him coming to me for advice on how to cope while he respected her wishes, when the only advice he ever gave me was unsolicited and entirely opposed to Ivetta's wishes. I found it all rather amusing - until he approached Ivetta last week and told her to hurry up and have the baby so he could propose.
“There,” Ivetta said, finishing the last sentence and signing her name. “That’s done.” She set the quill in the inkpot and took my proffered hand to help her to her feet. It was getting more difficult for her to get up every day.
“I am ready for this to be over,” she proclaimed, dropping the book on the seat as I collected her quill and inkpot. “This child is definitely yours. He is violent.”
I chuckled as I led her across the library. “Kicking?”
“And punching, I’m sure of it. I’d rather not spend our wedding anniversary getting beat up. It’s bad enough we can’t go to the chateau or do anything worthwhile.”
Our wedding anniversary. We would either celebrate it together with a new baby, or I would mourn it alone.
“Would you like to go later this spring?” I asked, holding the door open for her to exit into the hallway.
She looked up at me in surprise as she passed me. I usually left talk of the future to her, as I was still struggling to see past her due date. I usually left talk of the future to her, as I was still struggling to see past her due date, but I wanted to believe she was right, and there would be a future that included both of us.
All three of us.
“Of course! We could go right at the six-week mark, so it can be a kind of second honeymoon,” she said enthusiastically.
“On one condition,” I replied, glancing down at her with a smirk as we walked. “Servants will accompany us.”
“But-”
“No. I will not have you taking care of a newborn and keeping house at the same time,” I said firmly.
She sighed, exasperated. “Women do it all the time, Chevalier.”
“I don’t care about other women. I care about you,” I insisted. We had arrived at her office, and I took the letter from her hand and left it on her desk with the quill and inkpot. She waited until I returned to her side, taking her hand in mine as I started to walk again.
“There’s no point arguing with you on this, is there?” she asked knowingly.
“No, there isn’t. I’m not backing down on this, Ivetta.”
“Okay, okay,” she said, leaning her cheek against my arm. “Bring as many servants as you like. But next year, it’s just the two of us.”
“Agreed.”
Night wasn’t particularly restful for either of us anymore. She couldn’t breathe if she lay on her back, which wasn’t too much of a problem as she normally slept on her side, cuddled up to me, but she had to get up frequently to go to the bathroom, which meant I had to wake up frequently to help her out of bed. The last time she tried getting out of bed by herself resulted in me waking up when I heard the thud of her hitting the floor. Fortunately, she wasn’t hurt, just laughing and crying at her predicament. I insisted she wake me up after that, no matter what.
“Chevalier.”
I sighed heavily as her reluctant whisper pulled me into consciousness, but made no further complaint as I got out of bed and came around to her side to help her up. She was as tired as I was. It had to be after midnight, and we’d already done this several times.
She stood up on tiptoe to give me a peck on the cheek. “Sorry. You can go back to sleep now.”
I climbed back in bed and tried to do just that, but a loud splash followed by her strangled whimper calling my name had me on my feet in an instant. She was sitting on the toilet, the flickering candlelight casting odd shadows in the lines of her face as she clutched her stomach. I knelt beside her and brushed her hair back from her face.
“I think - my water just broke,” she gasped.
“Come back to bed,” I said soothingly, shoving my concern down as I gently took her arm.
She shook her head. “Lydia said she does something with the sheets - it’ll be easier if she does that first,” she panted.
“I’ll be right back. Stay here.”
“Not a problem,” she said to my retreating back.
Lydia and the doctor were staying in rooms nearby. I pounded on their doors to wake them up, not particularly caring about anybody else who may hear. Ivetta’s water was only supposed to break after hours, possibly days, of infrequent, relatively weak contractions, which gave her body time to relax for easier delivery. She hadn’t told me about any contractions before now, and judging by the look on her face, the one she felt when her water broke was strong and painful. This was already starting badly.
“Have the contractions started?” Lydia asked, pulling on her dressing gown as she opened her door.
I pounded on the doctor’s door again. “Her water broke.”
“What’s all the noise about?” Nokto complained, poking his head into the hallway. His sleepy crimson eyes landed on Lydia, and he was suddenly wide awake, looking her over from top to bottom. She probably would have hit him if she’d been paying attention. Fortunately, she was already en route to my room, with no thought for him or anybody else.
“King Chevalier,” the doctor said, yawning as he opened his door. “If her contractions have only just begun, I won’t be needed for a while longer.”
“You are needed,” I replied firmly. “Now.” I spun on my heel and headed back to my room.
Another door opened further down the hall, and Leon’s head popped out. “Could ya keep it down?” he asked. Female giggles slipped past him into the hallway. I ignored him.
“Anything I can do, King Highness?” Nokto asked, closing his door and following me to mine.
“The list in the top left drawer of my desk,” I replied, letting myself into my room without further explanation. It contained the names and locations of the local doctors Lydia recommended, plus her mother’s name in case an additional midwife was needed.
Lydia was already arranging the sheets. I returned to Ivetta’s side, still seated on the toilet where I left her.
“Alright, Queen Ivetta, how are you feeling?” the doctor asked cheerfully, following me into the bathroom.
Ivetta had to hate this.
“I’ve been better, but I’ve been worse, too,” she said nervously, looking up at me as I began to stroke her hair again. She took a deep breath and continued, “Just the one contraction when my water broke. None before, none since.”
“Hm,” the doctor mused, rubbing his chin.
Ivetta plucked at the skirt of her nightgown, which she’d carefully arranged to cover as much of her as possible. Embarrassment was the least of her concerns. This doctor had seen every inch of her two years ago, and he was going to see much more of her before this was all over.
“Well, let’s get you back to bed, then. Just the start of early labor. I’m afraid it’s going to be a long night, and probably a long day tomorrow, too,” the doctor said, strolling out of the bathroom.
Ivetta’s shoulders slumped in relief as soon as he was gone. I helped her to her feet and led her to the sink. Her hands shook as she washed them. Her smile from earlier was gone, replaced by anxiety, and I realized I needed to shove down my own worry if I wanted to keep her calm. I took her arm and led her out into the bedroom.
“All ready!” Lydia said brightly. “Don’t lift the sheets. You’re staying on top of these,” she instructed as I helped Ivetta back into bed. “This goes over top. Trust me, you’ll thank me for this later.”
“I believe you,” Ivetta said with a forced laugh. “Don’t I get to lie down for a while?” she asked, leaning back against the pillows stacked at the headboard.
“Well, let’s see how things are looking first,” Lydia said cheerfully.
Ivetta glanced nervously at me and assumed the needed position. I held her hand reassuringly, but my focus was on the doctor and Lydia.
“You can tell me,” Ivetta said, a slight tremor in her voice.
The doctor sighed and straightened up. “Might just be a long night. King Chevalier, it’s time for you to leave.”
Ivetta squeezed my hand and looked up at me quickly. “Does he have to?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“No,” I said firmly, meeting her anxious green eyes as I sat on the bed beside her. “I’m staying.”
Lydia and the doctor exchanged a glance, and then she ducked her head down and scurried around the room, readying supplies.
“Ooh.” Ivetta sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Contraction?” the doctor asked.
She nodded.
“Lydia, I believe now would be a good time,” the doctor said brightly.
“Right. I’ll be back in a moment,” she said, and then she was out the door, and Ivetta was looking up at me again questioningly.
“It isn’t your concern,” I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her against my chest. “Just focus on doing what the doctor tells you.”
“You’re not leaving me?” she asked in a small voice.
“I’m not leaving you,” I murmured in her ear.
“Right now, you don’t need to do anything except stay calm,” the doctor instructed. “When you feel the urge to push, let me know.”
“All taken care of,” Lydia said as she returned, rolling her sleeves up to her elbows. “What names have you decided?”
“Um…if it’s a girl, Evelyn Rose,” Ivetta said nervously.
“Her mother’s name was Evelyn,” I supplied helpfully, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. The simple gesture brought me back to the month she was on bedrest, when this was the only physical affection she could handle. It soothed her then. I hoped it would do the same now.
I hoped she would pull through this with the same surprising strength she displayed then.
“That’s very pretty,” Lydia continued, obviously skilled in the art of distraction by conversation. “Evelyn Rose Michel. What about a boy’s name?”
“We…haven’t decided yet,” Ivetta admitted.
“Well, no time like the present. Let’s see…”
She started listing off names, and gradually, the anxiety faded from Ivetta’s eyes, although she couldn’t relax physically. She couldn’t relax physically, of course. Hours passed as her contractions increased in frequency and intensity until one hit that made her gasp and tighten her grip on my hand to the point I thought she might break it. She pulled free from my arm and straightened up, desperately gulping air in.
“Don’t push yet!” the doctor said frantically.
“Are you sure?” she gasped, only slightly loosening her grip on my hand. “Because I really feel like I should push now.”
“Not yet,” Lydia said firmly.
“Just wait, little dove,” I murmured in her ear, brushing her sweaty hair back behind her ear.
“Okay,” she said, nodding reluctantly. Another contraction hit, and I bit my tongue as her grip tightened even further on my hand. “Chevalier,” she gasped, “your hand-”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said, prying my hand free with a grunt. “You are a strong little thing.”
She opened her mouth to reply and cried out in pain instead. My heart lurched in my chest.
“Alright, Queen Ivetta, you need to start pushing with the next contraction,” the doctor said.
“About time,” she panted.
This was torture. All I could do was stroke her sweat-slicked hair as I watched her pain increase with each passing contraction. She couldn’t talk anymore, too busy gasping for breath and trying not to cry out. Her eyes met mine, probably trying to reassure me, but there was no comfort in the pain dimming her usually bright green irises.
And then she started screaming.
I couldn’t take much more of this, and I was only watching. Lydia was reminding Ivetta how to breathe in between the contractions. The doctor’s wrinkled face was drawn and worried. Neither of them were telling me to send for the additional doctors and midwife Nokto brought to the palace. I just sat there next to Ivetta as the hours passed, wincing every time she screamed, stroking her hair and whispering encouragement in her ear, watching her strength fade away.
Was this how it was when she was tortured? Did they make her scream until all she could manage was a whimper?
She almost died then. I found her just in time. The doctor pulled her back from the brink. She recovered remarkably quickly, and the time with her since then had been the happiest in my life. I shouldn’t have let this happen. I should have put my foot down and said we weren’t having children. Now, there was nothing I could do for her, and the doctor may not be able to save her.
But he wasn’t calling for help yet. That meant there was still hope. I had to cling to that, and I had to tell her that so she wouldn’t give up.
“Almost there! Keep pushing!” he said excitedly.
At some point during the past few miserable hours, the day broke, and Lydia opened the drapes. Ivetta closed her eyes and lay her head back against the pillow, exhausted, the sunshine lighting up each line on her drawn face.
“Ivetta,” I murmured into her ear, taking her limp hand and squeezing it gently. “You’re almost done.”
She didn’t respond. I glanced at the doctor, who nodded at Lydia, but she shook her head and met my eyes. There was something pleading in her expression. Going for help at this point probably meant a Cesarean section, and that would almost certainly kill Ivetta. I swallowed hard and tried again.
“Ivetta.”
“I’m sorry, Chevalier, I can’t. I’m so tired,” she whimpered.
“Look at me, Ivetta.”
She did, reluctantly. Her eyes were as dim now as the night I found her in that dungeon. I swallowed again and forced my voice to remain calm.
“I gave you an order, Ivetta. It’s almost over. Just one more.”
She took a deep breath and nodded, pulling her hand free from mine to brace herself against the mattress. Her eyes squeezed shut, her face twisted in pain, and one last blood-curdling scream tore from her lips. I felt bile rise in the back of my throat, and I rested my hand on hers, although I wasn’t sure she could feel it. But as her scream ended, another began - our baby, crying and screaming. Ivetta closed her eyes and slumped back against the pillows, breathing hard.
“It’s a girl!” the doctor exclaimed. Lydia was laughing with delight. They were both fussing over the squalling baby, but I was still focused on Ivetta. Her forehead was slick with sweat underneath my lips.
“You did well, little dove,” I murmured, relief flooding through me as I peeled the sweaty, sticky strands of hair from her face, brushing them back with the rest of her messy hair. She didn’t respond, but she was still alive, still breathing, and I climbed fully into bed and wrapped my arms around her, holding her gently against me. She turned her head to rest her cheek against my chest. I closed my eyes, too overcome with emotion to trust myself to say anything else.
“Would you like to hold her?”
I opened my eyes to see Lydia standing over us, beaming from ear to ear, and I felt Ivetta nod against me. I sat back to give her room, staring at the fussy bundle Lydia carefully passed to Ivetta. Ivetta trembled just from the effort of lifting her arms, and I brought my hands up underneath them to help her stabilize the baby as she settled her on her chest. That was when I got my first look at Evelyn Rose. The sunshine lit up the baby’s angry little face, red and wrinkly, eyes squeezed tightly shut as her tiny mouth stayed wide open for her constant scream.
I fell in love with her immediately.
“Hello, Evelyn Rose,” Ivetta whispered.
I couldn’t say a word. Ivetta was alive, and our baby was alive. Alive, and very healthy, by the sound of her. A few hours ago, she was just a thought, just a kick I felt through Ivetta’s stomach, and now she was here, in Ivetta’s arms.
“This is our daughter, Chevalier,” Ivetta said softly.
I tentatively reached toward the baby, but my hand froze in midair. My fist had to be bigger than her entire head. She was far too delicate for me to even think of touching her.
“It’s okay, Chevalier. She won’t break,” Ivetta said encouragingly.
I glanced quickly at Ivetta. Her green eyes were still tired, but shining, and a soft smile lit up her face. My fingers trembled as they hesitantly moved toward the baby, touching her angry little cheek. Her face was smaller than the palm of my hand. I took a sharp breath, very gently stroking her cheek.
“She’s so tiny,” I whispered.
“She’s very healthy, and she’s very hungry,” Lydia said. “Are you feeling up to nursing her?”
Ivetta must have nodded. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Evelyn Rose, so I didn’t see it, but I heard Lydia’s next cheerful words.
“Okay. Let me have her back, then.” Lydia’s arms appeared in my field of vision, and I shook myself out of my reverie to help guide Ivetta’s arms to Lydia’s.
“Good. And your turn, King Chevalier.”
Before I could react, Lydia maneuvered Evelyn Rose into my arms, and I was absolutely frozen, staring in shock at my tiny daughter, who didn’t even reach from my elbow to my wrist.
“Just support her head, like this,” Lydia instructed, guiding my hand up to cradle the baby’s head. “Perfect. Now hold still.”
That wasn’t a problem. If I moved, even in the slightest, I was certain to break her.
Ivetta giggled weakly. “You can breathe, Chevalier.”
“Now, for you,” Lydia said, returning to Ivetta. “This should be easy enough. You’re already wearing a maternity nightgown. Alright, King Chevalier, let’s have that baby again.”
A rush of air left me as Lydia took Evelyn Rose from me again. The baby knew exactly what she wanted. Her screaming stopped as soon as she drew near to Ivetta’s bared chest, and she started nursing without any prompting.
“You’re going to feel more contractions, Ivetta, but they’ll be much weaker than before,” Lydia said. “They’re just to get rid of the afterbirth. You can focus on her, and I’ll stay out of your way until everything’s passed. Then I’ll just get these dirty sheets and leave you to it.”
“Thank you, Lydia. And - where’s the doctor?” Ivetta asked.
I hadn’t noticed him leave, but then again, I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off my daughter since I first saw her. I still couldn’t look away from her.
“Oh, he left after he finished attending to Evelyn Rose. If I don’t miss my guess, he’s telling the good news to the rest of the palace. Let me know if you need anything.”
Ivetta lay her head back against the pillow again. I tore my gaze from the suckling baby to kiss Ivetta’s cheek. Her eyes were closed, but she was still smiling wearily.
“How are you feeling, little dove?”
“I’m okay, just tired,” she said weakly.
“Get some rest. You deserve it.”
“You’ve been up all night, too.”
I slid my arm gently under her shoulders, but instead of pulling her to me, I tucked myself around her. “You did all the work.” I kissed her forehead lightly, and then I said, “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
She drifted off to sleep before Evelyn Rose finished her first meal. Lydia silently pulled the dirty sheets out from beneath Ivetta and left. I pulled the blanket up over her, my fingers brushing our daughter’s cheek again. She was content now, her stomach full, the red fading from her face as she, too, fell asleep. My daughter. My wife. My family. I wrapped my arm around them both and rested my head on the pillow next to Ivetta’s, and I, too, fell asleep.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwQvy5KkVL
