Ezekiel woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. He realized he was staring at a ceiling, not the night sky. How did I get here? I could've sworn I fell asleep on Leader's back, thought Ezekiel. That's when he saw a giant mass covered in a blanket. The giant mass turned over, revealing that it's actually Bear, who's sleeping peacefully on the floor. Bear was mumbling something in his sleep, although Ezekiel was too far away to determine what Bear had said. Oh, Bear must've brought me to my room after I fell asleep, thought Ezekiel. Realizing that it was quite early in the morning and he didn't really have anything to do, he quickly opened his Book of Knowledge and flipped it to a random page. His hand landed on the Food section of the book, and learned that there were food critics in this world that were quite similar to his own world. He quickly glanced over them all, briefly reading their names: Hahner Khassid, known as the "Royal Taster" who specializes in gourmet foods in the South, Kairi Zessid, known as the "Magical Travelling Food Connoisseur," and Glendrem Chen, known as the "Sweet Tooth," just to name a few. To his surprise, these food critics were quite respected everywhere. I wonder if any of these famous food critics have popped into The Crimson Tankard Inn, thought Ezekiel, although he doubted anyone worth mentioning actually has. Ezekiel would be right, until later that same day.
Ezekiel quietly got dressed and realized he smelled like complete ass. Realizing that he never did take a bath after riding on Leader, he decided to go take a bath at the public bathhouse. He grabbed his soap and was thinking about asking Bear if he wanted to come with him, but he decided to let a sleeping Bear lie. Or is it, "let a sleeping dog lie," thought Ezekiel. With that, he made his way over to the bathhouse to get himself washed up. To his surprise, it was mostly empty. By "mostly empty," he found Suko in the bath, but not to his surprise, Suko, holding an empty alcohol bottle, wanted to try to get a peek at the naked bodies of the unsuspecting women taking a morning bath. Ezekiel sighed, silently stepping in the water. As Ezekiel predicted, Suko's nose began bleeding, and his perverted laughter gave him away. The women shrieked in terror at discovering that Suko was watching them. Suko was then blasted in the face with a rather nasty spell, temporarily blinding him, which caused him to fall back into the bath with a loud splash. Ezekiel said nothing and continued on with his bath, scrubbing himself thoroughly with his soap. Suko then surfaced, spotted Ezekiel, then approached him by swimming over to him. Suko's nose was a red fountain by this point, with no signs of stopping. "S-So worth it," said a drunk but satisfied Suko, holding his head high as if he was proud at what he had just done. Suko then nudged Ezekiel over to a hole in the fence, asking, "You want a peek, kid?" Ezekiel immediately said, "No." Suko laughed, saying, "I can't wait for the day you change your mind, Ezekiel!" Ezekiel simply tossed the bar of soap over to Suko, who then proceeded to use it to clean off his body. Suko started whistling, then asked, "So, there's been some rumors going around that a famous food critic came into town at some point last night." Ezekiel perked up, interested in what Suko had to say about it. Ezekiel then asked, "Do you happen to know which food critic?" Suko shook his head, saying, "Well, unfortunately not. That's why I had this gut feeling to check over the fence to see if the food critic was one of the hotties taking a bath there." Suko's nose, which had stopped bleeding, began to bleed once more. Ezekiel sighed with disappointment, asking, "Are you sure you weren't JUST checking for the food critic over there, who might not even be a female?" Suko simply replied, "O-Of course! You don't trust that I was honestly looking for the beautiful food critic that may or may not be in this town today?" "Hell no, you damn lecher," said Ezekiel, rather coldly. Suko immediately felt a sharp pain in his emotions upon hearing this, and looked quite depressed. "I see," said Suko, rather quietly. Suddenly, the man running the bathhouse at this current time came over to where Ezekiel and Suko were talking, then asked, "Which one of you is the man with the red dragon tattoo?" Suko stood proudly, then said, "That would be me, my friend! Would you like an autograph by the one and only Drunk Dragon?" The bathhouse man then said, "No. I'm simply here to tell you that I received numerous complaints about you peeping into the other side of the baths. Please refrain from such activities so everyone can enjoy their bath in peace, or else I'll be forced to remove you from the premises." Suko simply smiled, got rather close to the bathhouse man, then asked, "Well, my friend, you have seen the beautiful body of a supple woman, correct? Then surely you must know that something like that is a must-see, and can therefore understand my actions in this man-to-man moment." The bathhouse man looked uninterested, saying, "I know what you mean, but please don't try to bribe me with your perverted arguments. Just stop causing trouble for me and the ladies, okay? That's all I want." Suko realized his usual bribe didn't work, so he simply nodded, saying, "Okay, I promise I won't cause any more trouble. In fact, I was just about to leave anyways." The bathhouse man just nodded, then walked back inside. Suko then tossed the bar of soap over to Ezekiel and said, "Just so we're clear: the rumors about their being a food critic here are simply rumors. I don't know if there actually is a food critic somewhere here, but I'd keep your eye out when you're working." Suko then proceeded to leave the bath, leaving Ezekiel to ponder the possibility of a food critic actually showing up today. He figured the chances of that occurring were rather low, so he decided not to worry too much about it. He then got out of the baths a couple minutes later and headed back to The Crimson Tankard Inn to start his day of work.
Ezekiel was working a busy shift that morning, a little more busy than normal if he had to assume. Apparently, the rumor of a famous food critic being here spread around the town like wildfire, so many people were going to popular food places in hopes of seeing the food critic in action. At least, that's the information he could gather based on his interactions with his customers. Whiskey also told Ezekiel that word of the "famous Lad Steaks" were spreading far and wide, so Ezekiel figured the chances of the food critic coming by were a little higher than before. Oh well, if the food critic does come around, I guess I'll just serve up my famous Lad Steaks, thought Ezekiel. Eventually, lunch time had arrived sooner than Ezekiel thought. Suddenly, Suko, Aqua and Bear all entered The Crimson Tankard Inn and took a seat at an empty table. Zoey, in her maid outfit, noticing them as they were just sitting down, excitedly ran up to their table and began talking to them all, and then took their orders. Suko ordered 10 tankards of beer and a Lad Steak, Aqua ordered a water and a kid's Lad Steak (which was added on the menu by Whiskey without Ezekiel ever knowing), and Bear ordered fifteen waters and fifteen Lad Steaks to-go. Zoey, surprised at the ridiculous amount of food Bear ordered, asked, "Damn, Bear, fifteen steaks? Can you eat all of that?" Bear glanced over at Ezekiel, winked, then said, "Well, let's just say that I'm so hungry right now, my stomach could hold the food of about fifteen demi-humans!" Oh, he means to feed the freed slaves these steaks, thought Ezekiel. Bear then glanced down at his wallet with regret, saying, "Although, I don't think my wallet will ever come back to life after this, not even with a healing potion." Oof, thought Ezekiel, averting his gaze from Bear, who looked at Ezekiel with hope that Ezekiel might give him a bit of money to pay for the steaks. Once the Lad Steaks were made and the drinks served, Bear then carefully placed all his steaks and waters inside of two separate barrels, said his good-byes, then left to go give the food and drinks to the freed slaves.
Suko and Aqua silently enjoyed their meals, and by silently, we mean that Suko's nose was dripping blood onto his steak as he intensely watched Aqua timidly eat her steak. A perverted smile crept across Suko's face, and Suko was tempted to ask if Aqua could call him "Big Brother." Aqua felt rather uncomfortable with Suko, although she didn't want to say anything to hurt his feelings about it. She really wanted Ezekiel to sit with her to make her feel just a little more at ease, but when she remembered what she did last night with Ezekiel on Leader's back, she felt extremely embarrassed, and she blushed bright red just thinking about it. However, weighing her options of either dealing with this pervert by herself or getting Ezekiel to come over and be with her, she decided to steel herself and chose the second option. She quietly got up from the table, timidly approached Ezekiel, and quietly asked, "U-Um, Ezekiel, c-c-could you come s-sit with m-m-me, I-I mean, u-us, j-j-just for a little bit?" She blushed hard and looked down at the ground, realizing she almost messed up her sentence. Ezekiel simply looked over at Suko, and his bloody nose told him everything he needed to know. "Not a problem. Let me finish cooking up a few more things then I'll be over," said Ezekiel. Aqua, still blushing furiously, smiled with relief and gratitude as she said, "T-T-Thank you," and went back to the table. After a few minutes, Ezekiel brought over his own Lad Steak to the table where Suko and Aqua were sitting, and he took a firm seat next to Suko, asking, "So, what are you thinking about?" Suko, surprised, said, "N-Nothing in particular, Ezekiel," although he had a bloody nose and was staring directly at Aqua's chest. Ezekiel began cutting into his steak, saying, "If you say so, man. But dang, Aqua is pretty close to Zoey and Bear. Honestly, I think they'd both kick your ass if you were thinking about her in an indecent way." Ezekiel mischievously chuckled, hoping to get his point across without having to actually call Zoey over. Lucky for him, Suko was actually quite scared of Zoey and said, practically begging, "P-Please! Don't call Zoey over! I know that she has no mercy for the likes of me!" Ezekiel couldn't help but laugh at that. Sure, Zoey could be scary when she wanted to be, but to think the Drunk Dragon would be so scared of a cat-girl. Suko pleaded with Ezekiel, saying, "Please don't, Ezekiel! Anything but that!" Aqua couldn't help but giggle at this situation as well, and Ezekiel realized that this was the first time he'd actually hear or seen Aqua laugh. It's actually kind of cute, the way she giggles like that, thought Ezekiel, who felt his heart start to speed up a tad bit. Wait, why am I thinking like that?! Begone, indecent thoughts, thought Ezekiel, as he proceeded to calmly eat his steak.
Ezekiel then turned towards Suko and was about to say something, until he noticed a hooded figure enter The Crimson Tankard Inn. The person had on a brown hood and purple robes, and they silently took a seat at one of the open tables. One of the maids in the inn quickly went over to them and took their order. Ezekiel silently watched, as he had never seen anyone come in here covering their face like that. The Crimson Tankard Inn is usually quite the friendly environment compared to other places, so it seemed a bit strange that someone would go out of their way in order to hide their face like they were. Soon, the maid that took the hooded figure's order brought out a Lad Steak and set it in front of them. The hooded figure cut their steak up, then quickly unveiled their mouth in order to taste the steak. After a little bit, the hooded figure stood up, then asked the restaurant in a rather bold manner, "May I speak with the owner of this establishment?" Oh God, this feels like a Karen moment. Please, God, don't let there be any kind of Karen's in this world too, thought Ezekiel, worried that there might actually be people classified as Karen's here. One of the maids then said, "I'll go ahead and grab him for you!" After a minute passed, Whiskey then came out to where the hooded figure was, and said, "'Ello there! I'm Whiskey, the owner of this here fine place. Was there something I could do for ya?" The hooded figure then unveiled themselves, and many people gasped. Whiskey looked quite shocked, and stammered, "Y-Y-You are-" but the woman who unveiled herself and introduced herself to the whole inn, saying, "That's right, my name is Kairi Zessid, the famous food critic known as the 'Magical Travelling Food Connoisseur!'" She appeared to be a younger woman, possibly in her mid-twenties, but her mannerisms had a certain elegance that made her more mature than she looked. Red hair, blue eyes, with many agreeing that she's quite the looker too. Suko would agree, as he was getting a massive nosebleed from looking at her average chest size. Kairi then looked at Whiskey with a straight face and said, "I've come to try these 'Lad Steaks' that I've heard so much about. However..." Her voice trailed off, and a look of disappointment appeared on her face. "It would seem that these Lad Steaks are nothing more than your average steak," said Kairi, rather coldly. Whiskey stumbled back in surprise, asking, "In what way is my steak average, lass?" Kairi said, "I applaud your effort for making your steaks slightly more tender to chew, but it is still quite tough to chew. I've had my fair share of tough steaks, and the way you oiled and seasoned your steaks are quite normal as well. You used normal ingredients, not the higher quality kind." If it was me that made the steaks, there could've been a different outcome, thought Ezekiel. Whiskey must've had the same idea, since he looked over at Ezekiel and said, "Oi, lad, can you redo the Lad Steak for me?" Whiskey then turned back towards Kairi and asked, "He's actually the man who invented the Lad Steaks, so could you give him the opportunity to impress you with his abilities in making a new Lad Steak for you?" Kairi asked, "A kid was behind it? Surely you must be joking." Whiskey said, "I kid you not, lass. He won't disappoint you." Kairi thought about it for a moment, then said, "Hmph. Fine." Kairi then sat down, and Whiskey breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He turned towards Ezekiel, then said, "Well, lad! You heard the food critic! Go make a kickass Lad Steak!"
Ezekiel quickly rushed into the kitchen and began making a Lad Steak. He noted how she criticized the normal taste and how hard it was to chew the steaks. Ezekiel, after eating many steaks made by Whiskey, could agree with the seasoning part of it. To his surprise, Whiskey never used salt to tenderize the meat more, and that would actually bring out more flavor if his special seasoning contained salt. He made a mental note to let Whiskey know about that. Lucky for him, he had been testing out new things for the Lad Steaks this morning, and salt happened to be on one of the steaks he was testing. If salt was added onto the steak as he was cooking it, the salt would pretty much be pointless, as it wouldn't have enough time to get inside the meat and tenderize it properly. He silently thanked his past self from this morning for saving himself right now. Already seasoned with salt and Whiskey's special seasoning, he went ahead and put it inside the oven. He decided that he would go with a medium-rare steak, as it was much easier to chew, and a lot of the juices and flavors in the steak would be more prominent if made as a medium-rare steak. Once done cooking it and verifying it with the hand trick, he silently prayed that this was a good steak, and brought it out to Kairi, who looked quite impatient. He set it in front of Kairi, and the whole inn went dead silent. The customers waited in anticipation, wondering what the food critic would say about the steaks that they came to love. Kairi cut into her steak, which, to her surprise, was much easier to cut into than the last one. Kairi then took a bite of the steak, and to her surprise, tasted much better than the previous steak. Satisfied, she set her fork down, and simply said, "It's quite good. The tenderness is what I was looking for, and the seasoning was much better than the last. Still not top notch ingredients, but it was good. Better than your average steak, at least." The customers inside the inn cheered, satisfied with the critique Kairi gave the Lad Steaks. However, Kairi quickly said, "However! I wish for something new, an exciting dish I've never had before! I challenge you, because I'm still skeptical about your talents as a cook! I'd like a seafood dish, as I hear that your seafood dishes are quite good as well. If you can impress me with a seafood dish, then I'll be sure to leave this place in high regards!" Ezekiel's short lived victory was shot down by those words. However, if it was seafood she was looking for, then he'd have to thank his parents for having him live by the sea all his life. He immediately knew what he wanted to make, saying, "I'll whip up something not on the menu that I personally know how to make. I'll need a bit, as I do need to prepare some of the items from scratch." Kairi then said, "Of course! Do what you must." Ezekiel nodded, then went to the kitchen.
Whiskey followed Ezekiel into the kitchen, then asked, "Lad, what are you thinkin'?! Don't worry about making something up, just use the recipes that we have here to make somethin'!" Ezekiel shook his head, saying, "I hate to say it, but what I'm about to make is something rather special to me. I know exactly how to make it like the back of my hand." Whiskey then asked, "What are you planning to make?" Ezekiel replied, "Shrimp tacos. I'll need your help so we can get it done quick." Whiskey nodded, and both of them got to work. Ezekiel quickly told Whiskey how to properly prep and cook the shrimp. "We need to get rid of the shrimp tails, as well as run them under water and peel them. Then, we need to cook the shrimp with a half cup of everything I say: garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, ground cumin, and chili powder. We also need to cook all of that using a tablespoon of olive oil. Cook all of that together for about 5-6 minutes, flipping them here and there." said Ezekiel. This would save a huge amount of time for Ezekiel, who began working on the tortillas from scratch. When his mom had made them, she always used flour tortillas, so he decided to go with that. He was about to start making flour tortillas from scratch when he realized that baking soda, a necessary ingredient in flour tortillas, didn't exist in this world. He then had to jump to the idea of corn tortillas, which required a bit of prep, but would be worth it in the end. He began making corn flour, which was vital in producing proper corn tortillas. He poured 3 quarts of water into an iron pot, and lucky for him, he had some lime left over from when he was making soap. Whiskey saw him put it in the pot, then asked, "Isn't that what you used to make 'soap' or whatever?" Ezekiel nodded, then said, "Lime can be used for many things. Soap making and cooking are just to name a few. It may not seem like it, but lime will be essential for these corn tortillas." Whiskey then asked, "The fuck are corn tortillas, lad?" "Really thin and flimsy pieces of bread, to put it simply. It'll be easier once I'm done to show you what I mean," replied Ezekiel. Ezekiel then added corn to the water, immediately removing any corn that was floating in the pot. Floating corn usually means that those specific bits of corn could have gone bad, so he removed the floating corn just in case it was bad. Ezekiel then put the pot into the oven and let it simmer for about 2 minutes. Ezekiel, once done, pulled the pot out and realized there was a problem. In order for the lime water to mix well with the corn, he would have to let the corn soak overnight, which was time that Ezekiel didn't have. He was about to give up on shrimp tacos and try something else when Whiskey realized what he was doing, and said, "Oh, lad, I saw one of the cooks actually do that yesterday. Seemed like they were experimenting with something, so maybe you could use that instead." Ezekiel immediately asked, "Where?" Whiskey pointed to a pot sitting near the end of the kitchen, and sure enough, it was corn that was soaked in lime water. So that's why the cook asked me for some lime, thought Ezekiel, remembering that moment briefly. Happy that he gave the lime to the cook, he grabbed the cook's pot and switched it out with his own and continued making corn flour. He then proceeded to drain the lime water from the pot, rinsed off the corn of any remaining lime water, and removed the hulls from the corn so they don't taste like lime water. He then dried the corn and grinded it up using a small grinder usually used in mills. After that was grinded up, he successfully had his corn flour.
Ezekiel then immediately began working on the corn tortilla themselves. By this point, Whiskey was almost finished cooking the shrimp, which looked rather good actually. Ezekiel got two cups of warm water and 1 cup of the corn flour that he made and mixed them together to create his corn tortilla dough. He then let the dough sit for a little bit, so he decided to get some other things ready by chopping up vegetables that would be good on a taco and grating some cheese. After doing that, the dough had sat for long enough, so he continued working on the corn tortillas by kneading the dough. After he had kneaded it enough, he made 3 small dough balls, then, using a rolling pin, pressed each dough ball into the shape of a tortilla. Ezekiel then heated each flattened dough for roughly 30 seconds in order to toast the tortillas slightly, and with a sigh of relief, he had finally finished his corn tortilla. Whiskey had also finished cooking the shrimp the way Ezekiel had told him to do it, and together, they created three shrimp tacos. Honestly, it doesn't seem bad at all, thought Ezekiel. Ezekiel would've liked to add more to it, such as sour cream or salsa, but that was something he would have to make on his own time. However, he felt rather confident in his newly created shrimp tacos. Whiskey and Ezekiel high-fived each other, quickly celebrating the hard work that went into this, but it was short lived, as they both knew the main event was coming.
Whiskey quickly arranged the shrimp tacos in a more presentable fashion, then Ezekiel quickly brought them out to Kairi, who was looking rather happy that her food was now here. Ezekiel set the tacos down in front of her, and she inspected the shrimp tacos thoroughly. Ezekiel quickly said, "These are shrimp tacos. The shrimp are wrapped inside a corn tortilla, topped with a variety of vegetables and cheese. It's a specialty of mine from my homeland that I would always eat when my mother made it, so I hope you enjoy them as much as I did." He felt a slight bit embarrassed at saying that last part, so he blushed a tad bit and smiled nervously. With that, Kairi started cutting into the taco, which triggered Ezekiel immediately, saying, "W-Wait! That's not how you eat a taco!" Kairi was a bit startled, asking, "I-It's not?" Ezekiel then said, "You use your hands to hold the taco. Like this." He then picked up a shrimp taco with one hand and demonstrated how to hold and eat the taco, and Kairi understood. Ezekiel placed the taco back down on Kairi's plate. Kairi then picked up one of the tacos and took a small bite, and what she tasted was a combination of delicious flavors she had never assumed would go this well together. The flavor of the corn tortilla, shrimp, and toppings all came together in a perfect harmony of flavors, and she couldn't help but smile in delight at how good this was. Although it wasn't a high class food in her eyes, she considered the shrimp taco to be one of the best things she had ever eaten. It was so good, she completely forgot that she was there to critique the food. She happily ate all three tacos in peace, until Ezekiel asked, "Um, how were the tacos?" Kairi happily replied, "Amazing! Truly amazing! A masterpiece of food, if I say so myself!" She then looked embarrassed when she realized what she had said, and immediately tried to cover it up by saying, "N-Not because it was made by you specifically or anything! I-It just tasted good due to how well all the flavors blended together in this 'shrimp taco' you made." Ezekiel scratched his head in confusion, but wore a smile of relief, saying, "Thank goodness. I'm just happy you enjoyed my dish!" The customers cheered, giving high praise to Ezekiel and were asking Whiskey when these "shrimp tacos" would be added onto the menu. All while that was occurring, Kairi was impressed with the young man's ability to cook rather amazing food. Kairi asked, "What's your name?" Ezekiel looked at her with a smile and said, "My name is Ezekiel Clark." Ezekiel. A good name, thought Kairi. Then, Ezekiel asked, "I'm actually interested in your food critiquing, so could I possibly talk to you about that soon?" Kairi replied, "Sure. I guess you've earned the right to ask me about that after you won the competition fair and square." Ezekiel smiled, then looked at Whiskey for approval, to which he nodded and said, "I think you've earned more than your normal pay for today." More like I should be a co-owner of this damn place after all that shit, thought Ezekiel, although he decided not to worry about the little things like that.
Suko popped in out of nowhere, nose bleeding, and asked, "My, my, who knew a food critic such as yourself could be so beautiful?" Kairi looked at Suko, then an angry expression formed on her face, saying, "Wait, you're the asshole that peeked over the fence into the women's bath today!" Suko, nose bleeding, answered, "That's right!" Ezekiel sighed, predicting what would come next. That dumbass lost so much blood due to all his bloody noses that he won't even lie to save his own ass, thought Ezekiel. Kairi then gave off a murderous aura and punched him in the face with surprising strength, pretty much knocking out Suko and leaving quite the welt on his head. Kairi then cleaned off her hands quickly. Suko was then dragged off by Whiskey, and Whiskey then came back and gave Ezekiel a leather bag filled with coins, saying, "That's your payment for the day, as well as a little extra for saving this place." Ezekiel put the leather bag in his pocket and thanked Whiskey. Ezekiel finally sat down at the table across from Kairi, then asked, "So, what got you into food critiquing as you do?" Kairi, with a serious expression on her face, asked, "It's a long story. Do you have time for it?" Ezekiel simply said, "Yeah, I got all the time in the world to be honest." Kairi then said, "If that's the case, then please pay attention. I'm not gonna repeat this story twice, as it's a story I don't tell many people." "Well, begin when you're ready," said Ezekiel. Kairi took a deep breath, and began her story.119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Cu4AIUwNO
