抵達永安時,已是初冬。194Please respect copyright.PENANA5LLlcRjX7l
194Please respect copyright.PENANAQPsd5k0dKl
又回到了常樂宮的品秋閣,我的牢籠。或許如此形容對它不公,畢竟我於此有享不盡的榮華富貴,亦是錦衣玉食,還有人人艷羨的美名。天底下哪有這樣的牢籠。194Please respect copyright.PENANAPxNxfNZWGF
194Please respect copyright.PENANADrEK6MxjJE
永安甚麼都好,常樂宮甚麼都好,品秋閣也甚麼都好,唯一不好的便是,欠缺了他。我心愛的他,鍾愷。194Please respect copyright.PENANAhWkUvgI6hq
194Please respect copyright.PENANA2IvxaUQx2s
此處是孤獨的。194Please respect copyright.PENANAyWfzt8zNcT
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我走出閣樓,倚欄而坐。今日夜色極美,泛著黃光的玉輪點亮了半邊天,遠方一片藍黑,只有樹影是昏黑的。枝丫筆直,直竄天際,好似要將那明月捅破。月會破麼?破了會有繁星瀉下麼?繁星可為雙手所持麼?我大概是醉了,醉倒在這月明星稀的美景中。品秋閣之所以稱為「品秋」,便是因為此處乃常樂宮中賞秋的絕妙之地。樓台高築,視野開闊,滿園秋季草植。194Please respect copyright.PENANAu7g3LgjADW
194Please respect copyright.PENANA8L4fbsRv5W
雖則有美月可賞,我依然不喜秋日。194Please respect copyright.PENANAtc48luRllm
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枯葉橫飛,紅花凋敝,好生蕭瑟。當年我是秋日入的永安,如今再度於秋日與鍾愷別離。但願來日我不再恨秋。194Please respect copyright.PENANAiMS44FBWYy
194Please respect copyright.PENANAiZXj3jSLDi
我命侍女拿來好酒,打算今日與這玉輪不醉不歸。片刻,侍女一手舉著燭火,一手抱酒,肘上還掛了件長袍,她笨拙地向我走來。她說已入冬,夜間清涼,郡主小心著涼。她將燭火與美酒放在我的腳邊,替我穿戴好長袍,又款款入內。這侍女機靈得很,總是知道何時該留,何時該走。我忽而想起一事,又將她喊住:「替我拿來那幅雙雁齊飛的繡品。」她回我一聲「唯」,便入屋內替我尋找。未幾,她拿來那幅我自大嬿帶回的雙雁齊飛。194Please respect copyright.PENANAUqZBQEFKRg
194Please respect copyright.PENANAuBOsIeg6nG
青山綠水,兩雁齊飛。194Please respect copyright.PENANAZrsNad0B25
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這幅繡品不但繡工了得,更滿含韓家嫂嫂對我與鍾愷的祝福。我越看越喜歡,尤其那對比翼雙飛的大雁。194Please respect copyright.PENANAjefbs6j1NO
194Please respect copyright.PENANAipycB5lrAG
我與韓家嫂嫂先前從未見過,數月前返嬿方相識。嫂嫂姓鄢,名喚惢晞。她很是特別,玊珧哥哥,華照與鍾愷對她褒貶不一,這使我很想結識她。鄢惢晞之父鄢霆鈞原為陛下近臣,他至嬿國任職不久,我便應召入永安,所以初時我對鄢惢晞並無好感。華照常於信中以「妖婦」、「偽善」稱之,鍾愷則認為其「宛如故人」。韓哥哥亦甚少於信中提起她,偶然言「家有賢妻」、「惢晞溫婉」、「幸得其相伴」,可見她在韓哥哥眼中是頂好的。194Please respect copyright.PENANAWYYMK9jqOk
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韓哥哥並無撒謊,只需稍與鄢惢晞相交,便會因著她的良善嬌憨而喜歡她。剛回嬿國之初,她有意疏遠我,亦不願與我相視,似乎不太歡迎我。後來我才明白,她與華照都誤會了,她們誤以為我傾心韓哥哥,其實我心中之人一直是鍾愷。礙於鍾愷的家世,以及我的郡主身份,我們不願過早將彼此的心意公諸於世,生怕招惹是非。194Please respect copyright.PENANAPObm9jmlnt
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那夜鍾愷抱著淚眼婆娑,喝得不醒人事的鄢惢晞從練武場走出,我當真氣惱,眼見著韓哥哥亦沉了臉。韓哥哥本陪我尋鍾愷,怎料撞見這般亂哄哄的事,我便氣沖沖地回了西廂。我自是知道他與韓家嫂嫂絕無可能,可依舊氣不過。我久居永安,與他分離兩地,時常不知他過得如何。若他日日於嬿國慷慨「營救」那些落寞的少婦,我又該當如何⋯⋯為此,我冷落了鍾愷幾日。194Please respect copyright.PENANA07kUJCqGGU
194Please respect copyright.PENANA8jWfO35CIA
後來入嬿宮伴駕,我偶遇入宮述職的韓哥哥,便同他閒聊幾句。鍾愷忽到,韓哥哥急急離去。我還惱著鍾愷,便繞至後苑,卻仍被他追上。他將我攔下,同我說:「已好些日了,我們莫要耗費光陰於誤會上。」他說得有理,可不知為何那日我便是想使小性子。鍾愷見我無動於衷,便自身後拿出一副搖鈴。他晃動手臂,搖鈴便叮叮地響了起來。我連忙握著他的手,制止搖鈴發出聲響。我氣鼓鼓地責罵他:「若招來了人該當如何!」他側著頭佯作思考,蹙眉噘嘴道:「鄰家夫人道,搖鈴最是哄孩童的好玩物,這顏家小淑女怎的更氣惱了⋯⋯」我噗嗤了聲,著實被他氣笑了。他見我樂開顏,便急忙摟住我。也罷,我已鬧了好些日,再矯情,便當真蹉跎歲月了。我從衣袖中掏出那日韓家嫂嫂教我縫製的雙雁戲水繡品給他看,他雙手摟著我,我便將繡品遞到他眼前。隔著錦綢,我看見他在點頭。194Please respect copyright.PENANAdGdz5P2nWH
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日光,織錦,朦朧的他。194Please respect copyright.PENANAlTlvUaubIK
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忽地,他俯身吻我。他的吻總是輕輕的,柔情似水,如同他對我的愛意,看似平淺實則深厚。如此的美好時刻,我忘了正身處王宮,忘了我們還未向大王請旨賜婚,忘了我終將回到永安。我緊緊地抱著他,抱著那遙不可及卻又近在眼前的幸福。194Please respect copyright.PENANA42SCxyciVF
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「我明白了……今日宮中佳人多,鍾愷定是看上哪家姑娘了!」194Please respect copyright.PENANAgexqNT8rOC
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忽有人至,聽這聲音,當是韓家嫂嫂了。我急忙埋首於鍾愷胸前,好生羞人。194Please respect copyright.PENANAXZnnB3ocEQ
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噹的一聲,酒罈跌落至地,碌碌向前滾去,又咚地撞上木櫃。194Please respect copyright.PENANAkyUNJSrhno
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原來昨日我飲著酒便睡著了。原來我只是夢回大嬿。194Please respect copyright.PENANAyC4fYU9t9R
194Please respect copyright.PENANAHvteuTZHa0
我自榻上起來,坐於鏡前梳妝。院外一陣嘈雜,而後侍女至。她神采飛揚地走向我,眼中盈滿熱淚,她說:「郡主,陛下為郡主與鍾將軍賜婚了!」我激動地放下手中的篦子,滿懷欣喜,不禁與侍女相擁而泣。侍女讓我安坐,她要替我好好打扮一番,再請畫師描畫一幅。她尋來一身水藍曲裾,為我梳了墮馬髻,又以雙蝶銀簪為飾。194Please respect copyright.PENANAS5i75OdRkN
194Please respect copyright.PENANAkaNDmm3xmN
午後,畫師至品秋閣為我作畫。我坐於昨夜賞月之處,手持團扇,眉眼帶笑。約莫兩個時辰,畫師將描好的畫作給我過目,我甚是歡喜,命其將畫作裱裝。這畫遲些我要帶回嬿國,我要讓鍾愷知道能與他攜手並肩令我有多高興。194Please respect copyright.PENANAS9ey2iMqv8
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畫師走後,陛下便命人前來宣旨,詔令已出,我當真要成為「鍾夫人」了。194Please respect copyright.PENANADcS44nPrao
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遙想年少與鍾愷確認彼此心意之時,鬧了不少笑話。194Please respect copyright.PENANAx8wP3xaL58
194Please respect copyright.PENANAYbDHi25LYY
當年嬿宮選拔侍衛,鍾愷為救即將中劍的我,不但險些失了入選資格,還因此受了傷。後來我便常藉送藥為由,至營中尋他,以報他的救命之恩。那傻子卻整日出言不遜,氣得我打算不再理他。他卻抓著我的手不放,訕然道:「世人皆言顏家姑娘聰明伶俐,柔姌你怎的便是不明我的心意?」194Please respect copyright.PENANAq6zZDf9TdU
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原他是想我多些來尋他,如此才不願好好換藥。194Please respect copyright.PENANAO0thfOpZU7
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他大概真是個笨腦袋。194Please respect copyright.PENANAmdmCqKmxfm
194Please respect copyright.PENANA1XLJYrFBeX
那年我替韓老夫人送糕點至軍營,順道探望韓家兩位兄長,恰見韓大哥哥正火冒三丈地訓斥一名新兵。我便上前詢問韓哥哥,為何向來好說話的大哥哥對新兵如此苛刻。韓哥哥告訴我,那新兵是個呆子,該是受責罰。原是前些日,那新兵於訓練時,誤傷了陛下特派至大嬿協助訓練的大將軍,韓大哥哥讓他向將軍請罪,他便空手而去,與將軍道「前來請罪」。194Please respect copyright.PENANAyxIUoS7zt7
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我聽了,於一旁捧腹大笑。194Please respect copyright.PENANAZNSz63MIVV
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韓大哥哥訓斥他,他便一動不動地杵在原地,不曾還口,臉無慍色。194Please respect copyright.PENANAx6lmgMgcPF
194Please respect copyright.PENANAcLfUe8CGGw
直至嬿宮選拔,我原打算離宮歸家,卻見那傻新兵站於擂台上,我便留下觀賽。出乎意料地,他為人處事雖笨拙,武藝卻是不錯,將對手打得氣喘吁吁。194Please respect copyright.PENANAhJPozak9hy
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那新兵便是鍾愷,呆頭呆腦的鍾愷。194Please respect copyright.PENANAvLwvJQtnhx
194Please respect copyright.PENANAdQsK5HozFD
我便是喜歡他的笨拙,喜歡他的沉默寡言。他不會同我說很多甜言蜜語,亦很少同我分享軍中事務。他歡喜,便將我緊緊摟在懷中,他悲傷,便無言靠著我的肩膀。他說得最多的一句話是:194Please respect copyright.PENANApfH1hP5dRn
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「柔姌,你何時嫁我為妻?」194Please respect copyright.PENANAzreJs3m0Ow
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如此,我又想起了韓家嫂嫂。194Please respect copyright.PENANAgZmTvnkDEG
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當日韓家嫂嫂一臉正色地問我,是否當真喜歡他,我毫不猶豫地點頭。我以為她猜到那日是我與鍾愷於嬿宮幽會,便急急認下了。她問我,若嫁他需屈人之下,可還願嫁,我回她:「若當真愛一人,何須介意身份之高低,能長相廝守已是莫大的恩德。」不過,我總覺得這問題十分怪異,莫非鍾愷有了更鍾愛的女子,並打算以正妻之禮迎入府?我想了想,這是絕無可能的。他身上所配之物皆出自我手,還日日至韓府尋我,若有別心,想必分身無瑕。194Please respect copyright.PENANAbjoeg3eOeo
194Please respect copyright.PENANAoIJAcLYxVG
後來韓哥哥告訴我,嫂嫂誤會了,還命人收拾韓府的雲峰殿。實則,我想入的是鍾府碧月閣。194Please respect copyright.PENANAmIurXYq7FG
194Please respect copyright.PENANAdPujAeSd9N
成婚前夜,我自永安北上,於汋郡落腳。黃昏之時,侍女送來鍾愷的信,一封很長的信。往日他惜字如金,從不多言。194Please respect copyright.PENANA02A3wWcBmX
194Please respect copyright.PENANAq4r6HJITKe
他於信中告知我,他仿著韓家嫂嫂替我收拾的雲峰殿,於鍾府造了一座「碧月閣」。他知我最愛憑欄賞月,便將府中最佳的賞月之處留給了我,以此造就碧月一閣。他在院中架了一座鞦韆,又命人造了石棋桌,如此動靜結合,安逸舒適。他還告訴我,他命人至渤海尋了好些海貝,親手製了一簾貝鈴,並將其掛於牖上。至於內屋,他猜想我已看厭了秋日之景,便備上了芙蕖紅紗幔枕被。如此,不論四季如何變換,我仍可於鍾府內耳聽風鳴,目睹春色。194Please respect copyright.PENANATWRMXH1ktI
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他說,過了明日,他便與我長伴終身。194Please respect copyright.PENANAYV0wiLF0lX
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我抱著信件入睡,安穩地,歡喜地,期盼地。194Please respect copyright.PENANAO1lpWDqkup
194Please respect copyright.PENANAY7KYhcljfa
日出,侍女將我喚醒。我推開窗,眺望遠方。金燦燦的旭日自東面而起,大地一片明黃,便連光禿的枝丫亦身著華服。今日必定是好個日子。194Please respect copyright.PENANAL1QG0PZLbg
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今既嫁人為婦,便該有成人之姿。194Please respect copyright.PENANAOJT48Ye80A
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侍女將我的長髮盤起,又將其套在烏色巾幗內。她自木匣中取出一面金芙蕖簪,將其牢牢簪在巾幗前,又以一對金蝶釵於兩側為飾。我原以為髮髻如此便完了,卻見侍女又拿來一簾鑲了紅寶石的金飾。她邊將那簾金飾掛在我的腦後,邊說道:194Please respect copyright.PENANAwVICO3zCIw
194Please respect copyright.PENANAIuI2inN0l4
「離宮前,皇后趁郡主試妝,悄然放至嫁妝內。皇后言,郡主盡心侍奉多年,如同她親生的小女,雖不捨你遠嫁,卻又為你覓得良人而心安。若婚後得空,亦可攜鍾將軍入宮探望,品秋閣是郡主在永安的家。」194Please respect copyright.PENANADr60gpcspx
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皇后,一直是那個知書達禮的國母。194Please respect copyright.PENANAEegdZRMpaL
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時候不早了,侍女又為我上妝。潔面,付粉,施朱,抿唇,妝面便妥當了。194Please respect copyright.PENANAzboZZMblp6
194Please respect copyright.PENANANKveaxT9NB
我換上親手繡製的嫁衣,那件離宮前夜,還在修飾的嫁衣。按傳統,大霽女子婚服當以烏袍紅袖為尊,但我鍾愛紅衣,便捨青取紅。194Please respect copyright.PENANALjCAYx1Hso
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紅袍黃袖,禁步及膝。194Please respect copyright.PENANAowE1XwyP9d
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我的紅嫁衣,是欲嫁良人的灼熱。194Please respect copyright.PENANAwbez0GTPqN
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侍女捧著鏡子往後退,我於鏡中望見了紅衣的自己與鍾愷。我們並肩而立,攜手相伴。194Please respect copyright.PENANApIQjl1DghV
194Please respect copyright.PENANARZjntrYvPO
侍女為我戴上紅面紗,又讓我握住彩扇,微微抬高,彩扇擋在我的眼眸前。我望著地,依靠侍女的帶領走出門,又緩緩步向那坐了近月的紅馬車。我踏上梯子,鑽進馬車。194Please respect copyright.PENANA08IjYyL5eN
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片刻,喜樂響徹汋郡。194Please respect copyright.PENANAbPmzgPX0FT
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馬車緩緩向北駛去,搖搖晃晃,我出嫁了。我耳聽金飾叮鈴,想像著鍾府碧月閣那簾海貝,想像著親友何其喜氣洋洋,想像著鍾愷身著紅袍待我歸的模樣。194Please respect copyright.PENANAnOcq6twYDA
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我與他相距不過百里,隔著一座城門。194Please respect copyright.PENANATq5x9pJLzy
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涼風颼颼,黃葉飄飄,我想,我愛上了秋。194Please respect copyright.PENANATwoVbvrb7p