James
Sam, as annoying as it is to admit it, is pretty smart. He knew what had happened to Eirin to cause her to black out. Maybe I look calm on the outside, but deep down, I’m terrified. Fear sat on my shoulder, waiting for her to wake up. He told me something about trauma. The leather glove tightened when he said that all I could do was wait. I hated this. It made me think of looking at all the dead men during battle and the people I killed. Sam also said that he heard her mumble something. I’ve heard her talk once. I don’t even think she remembered I was even there, but she spoke. Raynor, my ass-hat of a therapist, said she hasn’t spoken for 15 years. Maybe she gave me this to get used to talking to people who have had the same experiences as me, but why her? Eirin isn’t a bad person, at least she doesn’t seem like it, but they say she’s killed people. Eirin doesn’t look like a killing type. She doesn’t look like a monster. She doesn’t look like me.
⛧
“What do you want, James?” She asked me, one leg crossed over the other.
“Peace.” I uttered.
“That’s bullshit.” Her eyes searched mine as she kicked her foot. I sighed, waiting for her to leave me alone. She clicked her pen and began writing something down.
“Oh c’mon, I thought we were past the whole writing stuff down stage.” I hated when she wrote things down. It’s like she’s mocking me through pen and paper. Dr. Raynor lifted her head, sighing. I will never forget the words she said to me.
“You are being assigned to supervise a current patient at C.A.R.M.A. mental vault. I’m sure it won’t be an issue since the last time she spoke was 15 years ago. Eirin Mary Wessen. On record she has committed murder, arson, mass-homicide, treason, robbery, kidnapping, and my favorite, espionage. Now your job is to get her to talk and teach her common tasks. She doesn’t understand a lot of things but is a fast learner. She can’t read or write very well, I want you to try that first.Before you say anything, I want you to know that if we don’t do this, they’re going to kill her. She doesn’t want this help, but she needs it. It’s not like she can tell anyone about what she is thinking. Your job is to help that. You don’t have to do it for me. Do it for her.” Raynor actually sounded nice for once, making me pay a bit more attention. Eirin. I liked that name. The folder flipped in my hands, every single fact about this woman was right here. No one actually knows how old she is. Sure, the file says 1920, but next to it in messy handwriting it says ‘Eirin needs to confirm. Medical records don’t exist?’. Which means she never existed. Or C.A.R.M.A. deleted her medical records to keep all information confidential.
My black pickup truck is the only place I feel safe. My house is pretty boring, I’ve never enjoyed being stuck inside. Raynor told me to keep the glove on for now, just until she’s comfortable. The morning when I had to go get her, I rushed to clean out the giant closet. When I first got into the truck, I thought about what she looked like. The picture in the file was of a little girl, and I doubt that’s what she looks like now. As I pulled up to the brick building, my heart dropped. I don’t even know why. A woman with blond hair waiting to greet me. We walked inside together, and she began talking about Eirin and what had happened to her. Eirin doesn’t talk. No one knows why. I need to find out why. The only way for me to do that, is to get her to talk by feeling safe and comfortable. I’m a comforting person, right?
I instantly understood why she wouldn’t want to talk. In order to get her to go anywhere, the guards pulled her by her hair, even if she cooperated. The woman told me they treated all patients with care and respect but that didn’t seem like it. When we went shopping for clothes, I could see how scared she was of being around so many people. I just wanted to hold her hand but I knew how awkward that would be. When I gave her shoes, the look in her eyes told me she loved them. Then, when we had finally gotten back to the house, I heard her crying. She thought I didn’t but I could. I’ve cried too many times to know what it sounds like.
Maybe the stars called her out, but she sat at the end of the driveway, staring up at the stars. They never let them have windows because they would get distracted, Maybe that’s a good thing. I think the patients should get distracted from the world that it has thrown them into. Eirin deserves better, she really does. And when she spoke to me, I felt like I had flown up to the sky. Her voice is soft and slow. She looked like crying again, making me shiver.
⛧
Sam cleared his throat while standing in the doorway, making me jump. An audio recording of Eirin’s mumbles played quietly.
“Long. . .ing. Rus. . .ted. Seven. . .teen.” My head shot up, staring at Sam. He nodded. H.Y.D.R.A. flooded back me. Eirin sat up, and the two of us looked at her. Sam left and shut the door, knowing she wouldn’t talk if he was around. I made my way over to her and squatted beside the couch. Her nostrils puffed as she tried to hold back tears. My hand touched hers, gently, taking a breath.
“Those words. . .Did they use them to make you do those things?” I asked, watching her eyes fill quickly. She didn’t even have to respond, I knew the answer. Without thinking, I pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly. She felt my metal arm, flinching. I took the glove off and held my hand out. “I won’t hurt you, ever. My job is to protect you. I’ll never lie to you. I promise you that, okay? You just need to promise me you’ll tell me what happened. I want to help you. I want to get you out of that hellhole. But I need your help in order to do that.” She sniffled, making me sigh. Then, ever so slightly, she said okay.
191Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SPsaBHisd
We returned home, Sam staying at the compound to deal with the slight issue of what caused the trauma. She changed into shorts and a sweater that went down to her knees. While I pulled a shirt on, she stood behind me, looking embarrassed. Eirin’s face looks innocent when it’s tinted pink. She held the green hairbrush in her hand with a hair tie in the other.
“Ponytail or bun? I think bun.” My voice was soft to not scare her, she nodded with excitement, spinning around. I sectioned her hair off into three parts. After brushing the thick mess, I now faced the challenge of pulling it into a bun. Eventually, I made it work. Eirin stood in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. She loved it, her eyes told me. I stretched and walked to the sink where I pulled out a new toothbrush, green, like the hair brush. She took it, unsure of what to do with it. A glob of minty toothpaste fell onto my brush. She followed.
“Okay, you start by putting it in your mouth. Then you go back and forth on your teeth. This cleans them. Got it?” I asked, hoping she understood. After a second, she brushed her teeth, the toothpaste bubbling in her mouth. Some escaped and sat in the corner of her mouth while she nodded with a smile. Good, she gets it. Then, I spit my toothpaste out, turning on the faucet to rinse it out of the sink. When she attempted to, it dripped onto her chin, making me laugh. She glared at me, wiping her face with my bath towel. Karma, I get it.
That night, she slept with me. The small blanket wrapped around her shoulder, but I knew she wasn’t comfortable. I stood and pulled all the blankets to the floor. Eirin sat up, confused. After getting one of the softened blankets I had, I threw it on top of her. I layered four fresh blankets on top of her. She seemed so small under all the blankets. Eirin pulled the dark blue hoodie off, exposing the black t-shirt I had been looking for all morning. I lifted my eyebrow, motioning to the shirt. I waited.
“Your. . .smell. I like it.” Her face tinted again, making a shiver go up my spine. Maybe this isn’t so bad. Having her here, I mean. She’s learned more here than what that damn place has ever taught her. I scooted her over to the side of the bed farthest away from the door and flopped down. She passed some of the blanket over to me, avoiding eye contact. Normally, I’d sleep in my boxers but tonight just sweatpants and a shirt. My right hand messed up her hair as I attempted to smile.
“Keep it, I don’t like it all that much, anyway.” I sounded nice for once. Scary. I caught her staring at my metal arm. Eirin sat up quickly and looked away. I held my arm out to her.
“It’s not really that cool of a story but it’s nice to have a metal arm, I guess. This raccoon from space keeps trying to buy it off of me, if that makes any sense to you.” I crossed my arms when she pointed to the picture on the nightstand. Damn, I hoped that wouldn’t come up. A picture of Steve and I when we were normal sat there, watching us. Before all the blood, change, and tears, we were once normal. She waited for me to snap out of it.
“Steve was my best friend. When we were kids, we both said we’d fight in wars together. Of course, we did but different ones. Steve became this giant hero while I, um.” the silver fingers stood out to me, making me want to scream. “I became this. . .monster.” Shit. I said it. She knows. I’m not as strong as I look. I’m not as scary as I seem. I'm a soft guy with a touch shell. Eirin’s hand gently touched it, tilting her head while her eyes scanned the lines. Then she shook her head.
“Maybe a little. . .different. But no monster.” Her voice was sweet. Like a song that puts a baby to sleep. A scar on her neck actually stood out. It wasn’t there before, right? I must have been staring for too long because she covered it with her hand. She yawned and snuggled back into the blankets, closing her eyes. Her hand was still holding onto my arm, making me smile. I stayed up that night, watching her sleep peacefully. She felt safe enough to fall asleep around me. Like on the couch the other night, I felt safe no matter what those damn files said about her. She isn’t a killer, she’s just scared. She doesn’t even know what the hell she did. My eyes closed, opening the door to a place called sleep.
My body stretched, and she was gone. The vacuum made sounds in the other room through my door. I dressed in black jeans, a dark red shirt, leather jacket, and the boots I wouldn’t be complete without. She sat on the floor, turning the vacuum on and off, watching the red button flash. The laptop sat beside her, open to a GOOGLE page answering a question. How to make someone that is housing you feel happy. I shut the screen of the laptop and pulled the vacuum away from her. She looked up at me, her hair in a bun.
“You don’t need to make me happy. And you don’t have to clean. I do little so the house doesn’t need to be cleaned.” A complete lie. This place is dirtier than the lawn outside. She stood and took the handle of the vacuum.
“I have to learn.” Her voice was something I still have to get used to. I nodded and walked to the fridge. Out of food, great. She doesn’t do well with an enormous crowd of people, but I can’t just leave her here. . . I walked over to her and held her shoulders.
“Do you think you’d be okay here alone for a little while? I won’t be long, I just have to run to the grocery store. You won’t like it there, it's a bunch of idiots that run that shit show. You stay here okay? Clean if you want to. I don't care, just don’t burn the house down or break anything.” She nodded and held a fist up to me. Blushing, she fixed it to be a thumbs up. I sighed and messed up her hair, grabbed my keys, and walked out. She gave me this feeling. I don’t know what though. She’s like a kid, she knows nothing. For anything, she’s been through more or at least the same things as I have. Eirin looks like a chocolate bar type of person, I’ll get her one.
I saw a couple walk by me, the woman pregnant. She held her stomach while he held her hand. They weren’t the type of love that made you sick, but the kind that was what everyone wanted to be. He would kiss her head whenever she smiled and she would try to make jokes. Even when she said it wrong, he laughed. I don’t know why this was so interesting to me. I’ve never been able to have that. I’ve never thought about it either. They continued walking; I followed behind with my head full of questions. The woman walked into the bathroom, leaving her partner behind. He turned and looked at me.
“Is there a reason you’re following us?” He glared at me. I backed up.
“No, I just! I saw, um. I was just curious about something. I don’t want to have any issues, I just really had a few questions. Now that I think about it, they’re not important.” I have never sounded so stupid in my entire life. I have also never been this weird to someone. He laughed and held his hand out. When we shook hands, he asked me what her name was.
“What do you mean?”
“Her name. The girl you are thinking about.” His eyes looked into mine, making me straighten.
“She’s, just, um a friend. I think. We've only known each other for a few days.” Eirin is this girl that I just met. I don’t know who this guy thinks he is, reading my thoughts. He laughed again.
“Okay. Well, you tell her how you feel, okay? She should know. I mean, if I didn’t tell my girlfriend how I felt then I wouldn’t be here right now. It’s better to tell them now than when they’re getting on a bus to Canada. Angela jumped right off the train when I told her how I felt. That’s the thing though, man, you got to let her know how you feel sooner. If I didn’t stop her or stop being such a wuss, she would’ve left and I wouldn’t have a little girl on the way.” His smile grew when his girlfriend, Angela I’m guessing, walked back out. She kissed his cheek, making him grin even more. “Just let it happen, it’ll make things better.” They left me there, standing by the bathrooms with a basket full of groceries.
I stood in the doorway, watching as Eirin threw away a Clorox wipe. The floors shined, and the air smelled like flowers. She’s damn good at cleaning. The couch was now between two windows, the lights all replaced, and the books from my room sat on a shelf that looked brand new. Her feet pattered against the floor as she took the bags from me, putting the food away. Only now did I realize the bandages on her fingers. When I went to ask about it, she waved me over to the bedroom. Not only was the bed made, but my shoes and clothes were all organized by color. Eirin seemed so proud of herself. I told her she had done a good job, and with that, she curled up on the couch and played with a small necklace.
The jingles when the two dog tags hit each other reminded me of everything. The pain, the firing, the loud sounds. Everything. My boots thumped against the floor and I ripped it out of her hands, tossing it somewhere. She looked terrified. I sighed while sitting on the couch. I began telling her the story. The story of how I got here, how I met Steve, and how often I would have to stop guys from picking on Steve. I left out H.Y.D.R.A.191Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLwfqruSXc
