這個故事,是一個70後中佬大叔,回望半生的「情路」經歷。有人可能會認為,內容極其荒謬(如果你不相信)或震撼(如果你相信)。也可能有人認為,主角是一個極有問題、不知所謂的怪人。44Please respect copyright.PENANALxFphJl3C0
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萬般皆是命,半點不由人。44Please respect copyright.PENANARx0b1ogXCm
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我,70後,不經不覺中,這生已過了一半有多。不少人在這年紀,早已為人父母、子女也是中學生甚至大學生了。而我的同輩親戚表兄弟姐妹、已知狀況的舊同學、年紀相若的舊鄰居,亦全數已婚、甚至已離婚,且大多數也有小朋友。44Please respect copyright.PENANAWykKtLwrPJ
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而我,和這世界,卻好像總有道隱型的牆。44Please respect copyright.PENANALYnTlgwCSD
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1980年代初,是我這生最久遠的記憶,那時,我大約3歲,已有些端倪。44Please respect copyright.PENANAIENcMuhZDN
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有天,家母在我就讀的幼稚園小息時來看我,看見所有同學,也在幼園的遊樂場開心遊玩,只有我,不知為何在呆呆看街、望天。44Please respect copyright.PENANA1XSqGZgOL4
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還有某年紀相若的親戚,在M記開生日會,我和幾個年紀相若的小孩出席,有些大姐姐帶玩遊戲,其他的小孩全都參與,只有我拒絕,只願留在家母身邊。44Please respect copyright.PENANArhKakiSDSy
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這兩件事我已全無印象,只是之後的大半生,家母不止一次提起,認為我很「特別」。44Please respect copyright.PENANAoBWg9EIaQB
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現在回看,很明顯,這是名符其實的「三歲定八十」。44Please respect copyright.PENANAG0MBjMIDEL
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在這段人生晨曦期,我最記得的,是這生首次闖入我人生的兩個女孩。44Please respect copyright.PENANAnTiPFkBWle
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那時,我仍是家中獨子,和父母住在九龍灣臨屋區(所以大家不難估計我的投胎籤運,窮人生仔_ _ _),大約在今天九龍灣零碳天地和MegaBox一帶,在德福花園附近的幼稚園上學。44Please respect copyright.PENANAvahAlsHDqM
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那裡的課室桌椅配置,是「一圍圍」的,大約5個小孩「一圍」,所以大家界線不太明顯。44Please respect copyright.PENANAwgsGgvl0tS
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K1那時,不記得是整年還是一段時期,有時老師會派積木給我們玩,我無論拿起哪一件積木,總被「人」搶走:「我架!」,當中以坐我對面的一個兇惡女孩搶得最多,而且是壓倒性的多。44Please respect copyright.PENANAKwAHsUqYBl
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3歲的我,完全不懂怎樣做,只懂呆坐。老師也不知是真不知還是裝作不知,從沒介入。44Please respect copyright.PENANAWN7fpHK0QX
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幸好,那幼稚園實行分兩批放學:她乘校車,第一批放學;我家人來接,第二批放學,所以會出現一段時間是她放學離開了,而我仍在課室,就只有這時,我才能玩玩這些積木。44Please respect copyright.PENANAO7lbth5zrv
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後來聽說,家母原本是打算讓我乘校車的,是家父反對才不成事,我是否應感謝家父呢?44Please respect copyright.PENANAeIQRbRoaKa
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另一個,是鄰家女孩,我們年紀相若,常常在一起,有時甚至在沒有成人陪同下,在臨屋區中的平房之間走動。更甚的,我的初吻可能是給了她(註)。記得她家有兩個成年女性,一個較年輕的(應該是她母親)很兇,另一個很老的(應該是祖母或外祖母)就很慈祥。44Please respect copyright.PENANADsWYSQe5ny
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那時家母給我配戴了一條佛牌頸鏈,有次鄰家女孩叫我將之丟在路邊去水渠,我照辦了。結果家母和我找遍那臨屋區的路邊去水渠,也遍尋不獲。多年後,家母仍怪責我,為甚麼鄰家女孩叫我丟就丟。44Please respect copyright.PENANACwTNwV0tw0
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面對兇惡女同學的束手無策,面對鄰家女孩的無腦服從,看來,早在3歲時,已有端倪顯示,我註定被女人食著。44Please respect copyright.PENANAoQvWsvoAhs
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當然,這個年紀,所記得的,很少。44Please respect copyright.PENANAwvyoM6j173
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K2,4歲,只記得遇上很兇的教畜班主任,把我弄哭無數次,結果這教畜惹到家長集體向校長投訴。44Please respect copyright.PENANAYi4UATGe9k
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K2過了部份,家母實在忍受不了臨屋區的環境,同時這時,獲派沙田區一個新落成公屋,家母便急不及待的接受和搬走了------這個,堪稱是家母一生中,最錯的決定。因為這個沙田公屋,全港聞名:交通及商場街市等配套,均是差無可差的垃圾級,縱使之後我兩度搬家,也離不開這垃圾邨,但這是後話。44Please respect copyright.PENANAIFWU4JR7J4
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說回那時,我當然也從九龍灣的幼稚園退學,轉到沙田,和鄰家女孩,也不辭而別了。44Please respect copyright.PENANADHoFyNgGBY
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然後,展開我長達20年的毫無女人緣生涯,當然,20年後也.........44Please respect copyright.PENANAbhFbQoDQMk
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註,和鄰家女孩唯一的合照:44Please respect copyright.PENANA5H7FR77Yki